Not Straight, but Not Gay. [Archive]

Gearbox

Sep 8, 2011, 7:53 PM

It probably seems a lot simpler to just refer to all our non-hetero friends as “gay” and be done with it. So why are lots of folks insistent on a different, particular term? As your friend navigates their new identity of “not straight,” they’re going to find a lot of different communities, identities, and ideas. It’s going to be hard, and settling on a label they’re comfortable with is a part of figuring out who they are, and sharing it with others.
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Take Action: “Like” this post so more friends can get a primer on gay terminology and find out, “What is LGBT?” This kind of learning is a great way to show you care about your gay friends’ lives.
Call me picky!:rolleyes: But what makes 'GAY' less than 'just a label' than any other?
And how would 'Not Straight' get to be 'Gay' for 'Keep it simple' reasons when there's obviously more than 2 sexualities about?:eek:

Yes I realise that the technical term for 'Gay' was given way less thought than that of 'Bisexual', but maybe that's the problem?:rolleyes:

hgf33

Sep 8, 2011, 8:11 PM

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Call me picky!:rolleyes: But what makes 'GAY' less than 'just a label' than any other?
And how would 'Not Straight' get to be 'Gay' for 'Keep it simple' reasons when there's obviously more than 2 sexualities about?:eek:

Yes I realise that the technical term for 'Gay' was given way less thought than that of 'Bisexual', but maybe that's the problem?:rolleyes:

Thanks for catching that! I usually think it, but my mind gets caught up in all the terminology and it escapes me from time to time. I got a little excited when I saw the bisexual defense, lol. I fully agree with you, I've never liked the term "gay". It used to mean "happy". "Gay" refers to "homosexual", which lesbians are, as well. I actually expected the article to describe "gay" as referring to gay men, since "lesbian" is refers to gay women. What I want to know is, why isn't there a word for gay men? Hmmm...

Sounds like I need to do some Googling and learn the history of the terminology. But not right now, it's late, and I'm damn hungry!

drugstore cowboy

Sep 8, 2011, 10:42 PM

DuckiesDarling

Sep 8, 2011, 10:47 PM

What was here was pointless as some aren't worth arguing with.

Hgf, thanks for posting that. So much of what is on other sites is all negative, it was nice to see something that wasn't negative.

drugstore cowboy

Sep 8, 2011, 10:57 PM

Amazing, Drugstore, did you even bother to read the article that was posted before launching into another slam attack. You obviously reached an opinion that the BISEXUAL WOMAN who posted this thread is not Bi. Grow up or grow a brain, but please pick one before posting more.

Hgf, thanks for posting that. So much of what is on other sites is all negative, it was nice to see something that wasn't negative.

:rolleyes: I know she's bisexual. Yes I did read the article.

Don't take it out on me because Long Duck is asexual and always has been and he's not bisexual at all since he has never had sexual attraction to anyone and he's never had a desire for sex and these things make him asexual.

Asexuals do not have any sexual preference or sexual orientation, or what you'd call sexual attraction at all. All groups included in LGBT have sexual preferences and sexual orientations while asexuals as LDD frequently posts are not sexually attracted to anyone at all and do not have a desire for sex at all.

Running around telling everyone that you're "not straight but not gay" instead of actually telling people that you're bisexual isn't going to help things and it shows how the person has lots of internalized biphobia and wants to avoid calling themselves bisexual.

It's just like bisexuals who use the silly labels of heteroflexible, just sexual, fluid, or even pansexual to avoid calling themselves bisexual.

No not everything about bisexuals or on sites about GLBT people when bisexuality is brought up is somehow "negative". Try going on more sites.

DuckiesDarling

Sep 8, 2011, 11:03 PM

:rolleyes: I know she's bisexual. Yes I did read the article.

Don't take it out on me because Long Duck is asexual and always has been and he's not bisexual at all since he has never had sexual attraction to anyone and he's never had a desire for sex and these things make him asexual.

Asexuals do not have any sexual preference or sexual orientation, or what you'd call sexual attraction at all. All groups included in LGBT have sexual preferences and sexual orientations while asexuals as LDD frequently posts are not sexually attracted to anyone at all and do not have a desire for sex at all.

Running around telling everyone that you're "not straight but not gay" instead of actually telling people that you're bisexual isn't going to help things and it shows how the person has lots of internalized biphobia and wants to avoid calling themselves bisexual.

It's just like bisexuals who use the silly labels of heteroflexible, just sexual, fluid, or even pansexual to avoid calling themselves bisexual.

No not everything about bisexuals or on sites about GLBT people when bisexuality is brought up is somehow "negative". Try going on more sites.

Tsk tsk...such an obsession you have with my partner...did he decline your request for cybering or something? Really you need to just let it go. I'm sure there are wonderful psychotherapists in the Bay Area who can help you with it...

drugstore cowboy

Sep 8, 2011, 11:18 PM

Tsk tsk...such an obsession you have with my partner...did he decline your request for cybering or something? Really you need to just let it go. I'm sure there are wonderful psychotherapists in the Bay Area who can help you with it...

:rolleyes: I am not obsessed with LDD or you.

I don't like to cyber I have a husband who loves me and we have sex daily.

Both of us have very high sex drives, and are actually bisexual and have sexual attraction to both men and women unlike some people who like to claim that they are "bisexual" when they are not bisexual at all and never have been. ;)

Long Duck Dong

Sep 8, 2011, 11:20 PM

:rolleyes: I know she's bisexual. Yes I did read the article.

Don't take it out on me because Long Duck is asexual and always has been and he's not bisexual at all since he has never had sexual attraction to anyone and he's never had a desire for sex and these things make him asexual.

Asexuals do not have any sexual preference or sexual orientation, or what you'd call sexual attraction at all. All groups included in LGBT have sexual preferences and sexual orientations while asexuals as LDD frequently posts are not sexually attracted to anyone at all and do not have a desire for sex at all.

Running around telling everyone that you're "not straight but not gay" instead of actually telling people that you're bisexual isn't going to help things and it shows how the person has lots of internalized biphobia and wants to avoid calling themselves bisexual.

It's just like bisexuals who use the silly labels of heteroflexible, just sexual, fluid, or even pansexual to avoid calling themselves bisexual.

No not everything about bisexuals or on sites about GLBT people when bisexuality is brought up is somehow "negative". Try going on more sites.

lets get something straight, shall we.....

I posted recently in the attractions thread about my levels of attraction.....so clearly I do not say I am not sexually attracted to other people.... what i do say, is I lack a sex drive.....

so can you please get your bloody facts right, with your personal attacks on me, and stop posting your personal opinion, as things I am saying, as they are clearly not things I have said......

btw, where am I listed in the original article, I do not see my name anywhere, and nor do I see any need for the crap you posted in this thread about me.....

drugstore cowboy

Sep 8, 2011, 11:29 PM

lets get something straight, shall we.....

I posted recently in the attractions thread about my levels of attraction.....so clearly I do not say I am not sexually attracted to other people.... what i do say, is I lack a sex drive.....

so can you please get your bloody facts right, with your personal attacks on me, and stop posting your personal opinion, as things I am saying, as they are clearly not things I have said......

btw, where am I listed in the original article, I do not see my name anywhere, and nor do I see any need for the crap you posted in this thread about me.....

Have you actually read the original article? It mentions asexuals and you are asexual since you are not bisexual at all unlike mostly everyone else here who is bisexual and these people are bisexual since we have sexual attraction to both men and women which is something that you lack.

You've frequently written about how you're asexual and not sexually attracted to people at all, and this makes you asexual.

.....if you want to know what it's like to be me think back to before you were sexual and thats what I'm like.....I have never had any sexual attraction or a desire for sex at all........

The definition of asexuality is "someone who does not experience sexual attraction."

DuckiesDarling

Sep 8, 2011, 11:39 PM

Amazing that you had to search and search to try and find something to twist. Post the entire post not just your edited version of it. Cause i have seen him post many many times about drive vs attraction.

Matter of fact this thread (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11431) is full of it and full of you and others launching personal attacks.

Hgf33, I am so sorry that Drugstore started his attacks in this thread and my response has gotten it off topic. Your link is still awesome.

hgf33

Sep 8, 2011, 11:58 PM

What was here was pointless as some aren't worth arguing with.

Hgf, thanks for posting that. So much of what is on other sites is all negative, it was nice to see something that wasn't negative.

LOL Duckies Darling, I did the same exact thing... there was a lot more to this post, but I said fuck it. Not worth it. The few are just that. Few. Outnumbered, not only by good people like yourself and LDD, but by cold, hard facts.

The fact that my signature quote is in question makes me laugh! It's so petty! I guess not everyone has a sense of humor, as it is clearly a clever, fun way to refer to my bisexuality. This is Bisexual.com, why the fuck else would I be here?! :rolleyes: *smh*

I believe this is one of those moments where people in the south would say "Aw, bless your heart!"

Anyway, I'm glad you guys liked the post. I also think that anything positive is refreshing. :)

Long Duck Dong

Sep 8, 2011, 11:59 PM

twist words much......???

I can pull up threads where I said I live a celibate lifestyle, when I first joined the site.... a couple of years before I was given a diagnosis by a certified clinic psych...... so I am no different to a person that defines their sexuality as they grow.....

I do not experience sexual attraction in the way that others do, hence I posted in the attraction thread, defining my levels of attraction both non sexually and sexually... hence my statement is correct..... I have not had a sexual attraction that most people would relate to and never have......
I have a sexual attraction that differs from other peoples understanding of sexual attraction.......

the fact that you had to search the forums for that statement, out of all the threads I am talked about being asexual in, clearly shows that its something I am not constantly saying all the time.... and to the best of my knowledge it was made months ago in the asexuality thread, where I was being trolled by you... and being told how I should define my own sexuality and self identity......

one statement in one post in one thread.... not the constant posting you claim.....

hgf33

Sep 9, 2011, 12:02 AM

drugstore cowboy

Sep 9, 2011, 12:02 AM

Hgf33, I am so sorry that Drugstore started his attacks in this thread and my response has gotten it off topic. Your link is still awesome.

Get help for your persecution complex.

I'm not attacking anyone in this thread let alone you or LDD.

I'm simply saying that asexual people are not queer and while asexuals can be allies to GLBT people, asexuals should not be lumped into the GLBT lexicon and considered "queer" or that they should somehow add an "A" just to please asexuals and add asexuality onto GLBT.

The fight for GLBT rights and what we as GLBT people who are not asexual at all have to go through, GLBT politics, dealing with hate crimes, dealing with actual discrimination and being second class citizens in most of the world, wanting equality and the right to marry the same gender, getting rid of Don't ask Don't Tell, getting rid of DOMA, and getting ENDA passed are all vastly different than anything someone who is asexual that has no sexual attraction or sex drive at all goes through.

Long Duck Dong

Sep 9, 2011, 12:08 AM

Get help for your persecution complex.

I'm not attacking anyone in this thread let alone you or LDD.

I'm simply saying that asexual people are not queer and while asexuals can be allies to GLBT people, asexuals should not be lumped into the GLBT lexicon and considered "queer" or that they should somehow add an "A" just to please asexuals and add asexuality onto GLBT.

The fight for GLBT rights and what we as GLBT people who are not asexual at all have to go through, GLBT politics, dealing with hate crimes, dealing with actual discrimination and being second class citizens in most of the world, wanting equality and the right to marry the same gender, getting rid of Don't ask Don't Tell, getting rid of DOMA, and getting ENDA passed are all vastly different than anything someone who is asexual that has no sexual attraction or sex drive at all goes through.

then say it and leave me the fuck out of it..........

I personally ID as a bisexual asexual..... its my right, my choice..... and its a personal understanding........ I do not preach that the LGBT needs a A in it.... and I never have.....

if the LGBT needs a A in it, its cos the A doesn't stand for Asexual, it stands for...... I will let you make up your own mind on that one......

drugstore cowboy

Sep 9, 2011, 12:17 AM

then say it and leave me the fuck out of it..........

I personally ID as a bisexual asexual..... its my right, my choice..... and its a personal understanding........ I do not preach that the LGBT needs a A in it.... and I never have.....

if the LGBT needs a A in it, its cos the A doesn't stand for Asexual, it stands for...... I will let you make up your own mind on that one......

The A that sometimes gets connected to GLBT stands for allies, which is what asexuals and Heteros are going to be since neither of these people are gay, bisexual, or lesbian at all.

I never said there's anything wrong with being asexual. You do like to claim that you're "bisexual" when you're asexual and not sexually attracted to anyone at all.

You're using the wrong sexual orientation term since you're asexual and not bisexual at all. I'm not the only one here who has said this.

Long Duck Dong

Sep 9, 2011, 12:24 AM

The A that sometimes gets connected to GLBT stands for allies, which is what asexuals and Heteros are going to be since neither of these people are gay, bisexual, or lesbian at all.

I never said there's anything wrong with being asexual. You do like to claim that you're "bisexual" when you're asexual and not sexually attracted to anyone at all.

You're using the wrong sexual orientation term since you're asexual and not bisexual at all. I'm not the only one here who has said this.

excuse me if I do not give a rats ass, if you or others think that I should change me or how I see me cos you and a few other opinionated people want to rule the LGBT world and dictate who can do or be what......

there is many more people that do not care what I call myself, as long as I am not telling them how wrong they are for being happy with what they call themselves or how they see themselves.......

so I politely suggest you stop trolling threads and flaming people cos its disruptive to the forum, and means that people miss out on the chance to read things they would like to read.....

drugstore cowboy

Sep 9, 2011, 12:27 AM

excuse me if I do not give a rats ass, if you or others think that I should change me or how I see me cos you and a few other opinionated people want to rule the LGBT world and dictate who can do or be what......

there is many more people that do not care what I call myself, as long as I am not telling them how wrong they are for being happy with what they call themselves or how they see themselves.......

so I politely suggest you stop trolling threads and flaming people cos its disruptive to the forum, and means that people miss out on the chance to read things they would like to read.....

Did you even read the main article linked in the original post?

It mentions asexuality and asexuals like yourself.

You should be happy and proud that your lack of sexuality is mentioned even though it's pointless to call asexuality "queer" or claim that asexuals somehow now deserve to be lumped in with GLBT people who are not asexual at all, asexual rights have nothing to do with the lack of rights and politics that effect GLBT people, and our fight for equality as GLBT people.

Nobody has ever been fired from their job or bashed/beat up because they're asexual and someone who is asexual and lacks sexual attraction to people and has no sex drive at all which is something that everyone that's bisexual, gay, lesbian, and even straight do not lack since these people are not asexual since they're sexually attracted to people and have a sex drive. Asexuals have many rights that GLBT people worldwide do not have and would love to have.

Myself and other people here have seen posts where you frequently attack bisexual men who want sex, have sex, and enjoy sex and who are not asexual at all.

Long Duck Dong

Sep 9, 2011, 12:34 AM

Did you even read the main article linked in the original post?

It mentions asexuality and asexuals like yourself so you should be proud that your lack of sexuality is mentioned even though it's pointless to call asexuality "queer" or claim that asexuals somehow now deserve to be lumped in with GLBT people who are not asexual at all, politics that effect GLBT people, and our fight for equality.

Nobody has ever been fired from their job or bashed/beat up because they're asexual and someone who is asexual and lacks sexual attraction to people and has no sex drive at all has many rights that GLBT people worldwide do not have and would love to have.

Myself and other people here have seen posts where you frequently attack bisexual men who want sex, have sex, and enjoy sex and who are not asexual at all.

no, they come to this site and get rubbished by people like you.......

drugstore cowboy

Sep 9, 2011, 12:46 AM

no, they come to this site and get rubbished by people like you.......

I don't rubbish anyone. Continue on with your persecution complex if you must.

Bisexuals have sexual attraction to both sexes; Asexuals feel attraction to neither sex and are not sexually attracted to anyone and lack a sex drive.

There are some asexuals that feel like anything is suddenly all about sex if any sex at all is involved with it. Those people need to calm down and remember that 99% of people are sexual and they (the asexual) are the unusual one. LGBT might not be all about sex but it is based on being different sexually so its easy to see why an asexual person would think that being LGBT would be all about sex since asexuals like yourself LDD have no sexual attraction to anyone and have no sex drive at all.

dragon4181

Sep 9, 2011, 12:58 AM

Why not just describe yourself as bisexual then, instead of "not gay, not straight"?

Why are they even mentioning asexuals? Asexual people by definition are not sexually attracted to anyone at all and you can't be asexual if you're gay, bisexual, or lesbian.

Asexuals are not queer and asexuals are not part of the GLBT collective even if now they want to butt in and claim that they now are, should be included with us, or always have been.

The term "gay" usually does mean just gay/homosexual men only or it has for my entire life. It doesn't mean lesbian women even if some people want to claim that it does.

Why shouldn't the article mention asexuals, it seems to be an article designed to inform people about various orientations, and there are obviously more people like LDD as to quote the article itself "◦Asexual means a person is not interested in sex. Asexual people may or may not identify with another sexual orientation; for example, they might be romantically interested in people of the opposite gender. They just don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone." something LDD has said often in his description of himself.
I really wish you would go pick on someone else away from this site, your constant antagonism is irritating.
Just to nit-pick at your statement too, you say the term gay USUALLY means gay/homosexual men only, and doesn't mean lesbian women, you can't use the word usually if you're saying women are not included in the definition.

Please feel free to comment back to me drugstore, although I do hate to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

hgf33

Sep 9, 2011, 1:06 AM

drugstore cowboy

Sep 9, 2011, 1:10 AM

Why shouldn't the article mention asexuals, it seems to be an article designed to inform people about various orientations, and there are obviously more people like LDD as to quote the article itself "◦Asexual means a person is not interested in sex. Asexual people may or may not identify with another sexual orientation; for example, they might be romantically interested in people of the opposite gender. They just don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone." something LDD has said often in his description of himself.
I really wish you would go pick on someone else away from this site, your constant antagonism is irritating.
Just to nit-pick at your statement too, you say the term gay USUALLY means gay/homosexual men only, and doesn't mean lesbian women, you can't use the word usually if you're saying women are not included in the definition.

Please feel free to comment back to me drugstore, although I do hate to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Asexuality is a lack of any sexual orientation, lack sexual desire, and asexuals like LDD lack sex drive as well.

As an asexual man long duck dong has frequently written about how he does not have sexual attraction to anyone, he doesn't have a sexual desire or a sex drive at all and he's said how he's never had any of these things.

This asexual man also does like to attack bisexual men who are not asexual at all and who unlike him actually do have sexual attraction to both genders, have a sex drive, and frequently have or want sex which is something as an asexual he's not going to understand at all.

Asexuals should for their own community and avoid trying to tag along with us GLBT people and claim that they are "queer" when the issues of asexuals are completely different than the politics, fight for GLBT equality, and issues that non-asexual GLBT people face and have for hundreds of years.

I don't care if you think I lack wit or merit. I have multiple degrees and a PhD. Were you even out or in the GLBT community during the 70s, 80s, or 90s?

I've been around a lot of lesbians during those decades and had the unfortunate experience of hearing them moan about how horrible the patriarchy is, how horrible men are and that included bisexual and gay men and how all men are responsible for the suppression of women, how a man could never be supportive of women's rights or gender equality since he's not a woman or female at all, and how much they hated the term "gay" used to describe their sexuality since they are lesbians, dykes, or self labeled "womyn".

tenni

Sep 9, 2011, 1:11 AM

Dragon
As I understand it "asexuality" is not a sexual orientation the way that heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual are. Bisexuality, itself, may be more than one sexual orientation as well to be determined later.

Neither is transgender a sexual orientation. It is about a gender category.

Perhaps the label GLBT is being used for all people who do not fit under the label "heterosexual"? It seems that way to me. It seems that it is possible that this is an issue about bi invisibility (perhaps).

The last more scientific article that I read stated that asexuality (which is mentioned in the article) is not a category for anything at this time. When the scientific body was about to define asexuality, it discovered that there were too many variables to declare it as anything other than "it exists" but what it is is unclear. The person on this site referring to himself as an asexual doesn't behave like a person that I know who is asexual. That person doesn't call himself asexual though but his behaviour seems to fit the general concept on asexuality. The person that I know never talks about sex let alone obsess on it. In fact, he doesn't even know how to act in a sexual manner. He can not cope with physical sexual intimacy. He calls himself "gay" but has no interest in sex..just friendships with men.

Another document that someone posted on this site gave the explanation that generally people deal with binaries and that is why there is a tendency to see things as hetero /gay. Male/female hetero /gay. Yes/no etc. To examine the greys is not something that people tend to want to do unless it involves them or people that they know.

"Please feel free to comment back to me drugstore, although I do hate to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person."

Dragon You might want to read rules...deal with the issue and not the personal attacks. Post 6 seems to be the post where the wheels fell off this thread and personal accusations began?...I may be wrong.

The article seemed harmless but as we see it held statements that were not universally accepted. I'm glad that it gave the OP some relief and comfort.

drugstore cowboy

Sep 9, 2011, 1:30 AM

It's not always about rights. You could say that asexuals don't get harassed or have to fight for rights, but you could say the same thing about bisexuals. We can have all the same rights as any straight person. That's not the issue. Asexuals are part of the queer community because they're a sexual minority. No, they do not have it easy, and they do get harassed. I know an asexual girl who lets her parents believe she is a lesbian because they it's easier for them to understand than her asexuality. There are also different types of asexuality, just as there are shades of grey and varying degrees with all sexualities, and some sexual labels barely anyone has heard off. We are who we are, what we feel. No one can tell us we're not (although they sure try.)

Regardless of your asexuality, LDD, you are still bisexual and that's why you're here. I don't understand why people feel the need to keep arguing with you. There are plenty of people on this site who aren't even bi; they are gay, or straight and looking for advice or whatever else. No one is calling them out, and they shouldn't. No one on here should be singled out and harassed for any reason, unless there is an issue with something extremely wrong and illegal. Last I checked, asexual bisexuality doesn't land you on a sex offender list. People should get to do what they want as long as it's not hurting anyone. Who are we to judge? I fully support anyone who feels that they are different from the norm, which is the actual definition of queer anyway.

Why do these same people keep arguing that "bisexual" refers only to sexual attraction?! Homosexual, bisexual, and transexual, all refer to "sex" as in what determines being a man or woman, not "sex" as in sexual intercourse. I'm amazed.

Learn more about GLBT history before you claim that "bisexuals don't get harassed or have to fight for rights". :rolleyes:

No not all bisexuals can or do pass as heterosexual or have all the rights as heterosexuals do.
I've had sex with women but I don't fall in love with women like I do with men, despite being very sexually attracted to women.

Your asexual friend who tells her parents that she's "lesbian" has it easy and she's not facing actual harassment, her parents just don't understand asexuality and her identifying as "lesbian" is just going to confuse them even further.

Asexuals are not queer and are not a part of the GLBT or queer community even if you wish that they somehow were. Being GLBT or queer is all about your sexuality and asexuals lack a sexuality and like LDD has frequently written as an asexual man he's not sexually attracted to anyone and never has been, he's never had a desire for sex, and he's asexual.

Tell the many GLBT kids who come out to their parents and get kicked out of home or GLBT teens and adults who get bashed and beat up and bullied in schools and in public for being GLBT that some asexual girl in the midwest has it sooooooo hard and is facing real actual discrimnation since her parents don't understand asexuality. :rolleyes:

LDD can claim that he's LOL "bisexual" all he wants but he's not fooling anyone and he's asexual and nothing more.

Try studying human sexuality, how language is used, and how to define words more dear and open up a dictionary.

You'll see that the terms "sexual" in homosexual and bisexual refer to someone's sexual attraction, and being Transsexual refers to changing someone's gender or sex.

I've never said that there's anything wrong with being asexual, just that issues that someone who is GLBT faces and issues that an asexual face are not the same, and that asexuals like LDD who like to pretend that they're "bisexual" or even in the case of your friend who pretends that she's "lesbian" are using the wrong terms for their lack of sexuality, lack of sexual attraction, and lack of a sexual orientation and that these people are not GLBT or queer.

Long Duck Dong

Sep 9, 2011, 2:25 AM

20+ years of sex with males and females, apparently doesn't make me bisexual... people are only bisexual when they are having sex with males and females...... well according to you and one other person in the site..... and with most of the site not agreeing with you, and same with the experts, that leaves you and ya mate, being the solo voices of judgement, and authority....

so how many other *non bisexuals * are there in the site that are not up to your standards and should leave....?????

there are 3 definitions of bisexual ( depending on what you read )
a person attracted to both genders
a person attracted to both genders sexually
a person attracted to both genders sexually and / or emotionally and / or mentally......

when you decide who is bisexual and who is not...... care to tell fran that as a lesbian, shes not welcome here.....cos I have never seen any of you lot have the balls to stand up to her and rubbish her cos she is proud to be lesbian, and thats clearly not being bisexual now is it....... :tong::tong::tong::tong:

tenni

Sep 9, 2011, 3:00 AM

Any definition that I have read consistently places sexual attraction as the first criteria in defining bisexuality.

The simpliest and most common refers to having a sexual and/or emotional (aka romantic) attraction to both men and women. The key to this definition is the use of "and/or". It isn't "or/and" as a priority.

The numbers of bisexual men who have only an emotional (romantic) attraction to both men and women but no sexual physical attraction is very small in comparison to those bisexual men who have only a physical sexual attraction to men and reserve emotional/romantic attraction for women. (based on men that I've met or men that have posted on such sites as this one). Some bisexual men do have the physical sexual and emotional attraction to men and women. There are lots of variations but if you are calling yourself "asexual" and posting about the word for a man having two penis plus seeking out porn showing double penetration with two penis on one man...how the f*ck can you not be considered obsessed with sex?...It doesn't read like an asexual either to me.

Other definitions are as followed.
Bisexual: An individual who engages in both heterosexual and homosexual sexual relations. Bisexual can also refer to the corresponding lifestyle.

http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=10794

bisexual
[bīsek′sho̅o̅·əl]
Etymology: L, bis + sexus, male or female
1*hermaphroditic; having gonads of both sexes.
2*possessing physical or psychologic characteristics of both sexes.
3*engaging in both heterosexual and homosexual activity.
4*desiring sexual contact with persons of both sexes.

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/bisexual

Long Duck Dong

Sep 9, 2011, 3:35 AM

Any definition that I have read consistently places sexual attraction as the first criteria in defining bisexuality.

The simpliest and most common refers to having a sexual and/or emotional (aka romantic) attraction to both men and women. The key to this definition is the use of "and/or". It isn't "or/and" as a priority.

The numbers of bisexual men who have only an emotional (romantic) attraction to both men and women but no sexual physical attraction is very small in comparison to those bisexual men who have only a physical sexual attraction to men and reserve emotional/romantic attraction for women. (based on men that I've met or men that have posted on such sites as this one). Some bisexual men do have the physical sexual and emotional attraction to men and women. There are lots of variations but if you are calling yourself "asexual" and posting about the word for a man having two penis plus seeking out porn showing double penetration with two penis on one man...how the f*ck can you not be considered obsessed with sex?...It doesn't read like an asexual either to me.

posting two videos to help a member out, is not obsessed with sex.... its called helping a fellow member with something they were asking about....
the nature of the vid is of a pornographic nature......so what!!!!! I googled a query, found the videos and posted them.....

should I stop holding my dick when I go for a piss cos a dick is a sexual organ ???????
maybe I should not eat hotdogs as they can be a sexual ennuendo ????
dammit, does that mean I should not call somebody a cunt ?????

get over it..... you posted in the other thread where members have stated that the constant attacks on me, are pissing them off... so you are well aware that other members are sick to bloody death of seeing you in so many threads, taking them off topic so you can attack me....... so how about you take a fucking chill pill and let others enjoy the forums and not your obsession with me

dragon4181

Sep 9, 2011, 2:07 PM

First let me apologise to hgf33 for taking this off topic, but I felt the need to reply to the personal comments from other people to me in the original thread my comments were posted.

Drugstore,
I am very happy you are highly educated, perhaps you should write an article that we could all comment on, as I was doing.
I was not out in the community in the 70's 80's or 90's I fail to see what relevance this has to my opinion now to this article, I'm sure you may well come back to me with some personal comment about that, although maybe we should start another thread?
You made the comments personal when you referenced LDD in your comments back to Duckies Darling, something you continually do, and as I said, I for one find that extremely irritating as do so many others here.

Tenni,
I was dealing with the issue of the article, it stated that asexuals can identify with another sexual orientation, I see from your statements you disagree with that, I and many others I know do not.
You made personal comments to LDD in your post too, when all he was doing was passing information on to someone that he'd found, I've googled all kinds of things over the years doesn't mean i am obsessed with those things, I like helping people find information.
I do enjoy the information you post, the more information we have the better we can understand ourselves and other people, and not discount them because they don't fit with how we think they should be, maybe this would end the personal attacks if people are more accepting?

Again my apologies to hgf33, I would prefer if anyone has any comments to this post or to me that they start another thread.

hgf33

Sep 10, 2011, 12:51 AM

Learn more about GLBT history before you claim that "bisexuals don't get harassed or have to fight for rights". :rolleyes:

No not all bisexuals can or do pass as heterosexual or have all the rights as heterosexuals do.
I've had sex with women but I don't fall in love with women like I do with men, despite being very sexually attracted to women.

Your asexual friend who tells her parents that she's "lesbian" has it easy and she's not facing actual harassment, her parents just don't understand asexuality and her identifying as "lesbian" is just going to confuse them even further.

Asexuals are not queer and are not a part of the GLBT or queer community even if you wish that they somehow were. Being GLBT or queer is all about your sexuality and asexuals lack a sexuality and like LDD has frequently written as an asexual man he's not sexually attracted to anyone and never has been, he's never had a desire for sex, and he's asexual.

Tell the many GLBT kids who come out to their parents and get kicked out of home or GLBT teens and adults who get bashed and beat up and bullied in schools and in public for being GLBT that some asexual girl in the midwest has it sooooooo hard and is facing real actual discrimnation since her parents don't understand asexuality. :rolleyes:

LDD can claim that he's LOL "bisexual" all he wants but he's not fooling anyone and he's asexual and nothing more.

Try studying human sexuality, how language is used, and how to define words more dear and open up a dictionary.

You'll see that the terms "sexual" in homosexual and bisexual refer to someone's sexual attraction, and being Transsexual refers to changing someone's gender or sex.

I've never said that there's anything wrong with being asexual, just that issues that someone who is GLBT faces and issues that an asexual face are not the same, and that asexuals like LDD who like to pretend that they're "bisexual" or even in the case of your friend who pretends that she's "lesbian" are using the wrong terms for their lack of sexuality, lack of sexual attraction, and lack of a sexual orientation and that these people are not GLBT or queer.

Once again, you've twisted EVERYTHING I said, or maybe you just don't understand communication because you're too busy bragging about your many degrees. I'm guessing none of those are English or Communication degrees, so let me see if I can find a simpler way to explain, and repeat myself, yet again.

I didn't say bisexuals don't get harassed. I said if you're going to claim that asexuals don't get harassed (because they do), then you might as well also falsely claim we don't (because we do.)

I didn't say all bisexuals pass as heterosexuals, but many CAN. As in, they are capable.

I didn't say my asexual friend tells her parents she's a lesbian. I said she let's them believe it. It is what THEY think, and I'm sure anyone here knows how parents can be. Sometimes we tell them things over and over again, and they refuse to accept or understand. She simply finds it pointless to argue with them anymore. So, basically, it's not so different from the way many of us feel while talking to a proverbial wall when it comes to you and a select few others. I don't even need to name names.

Don't tell me to read a dictionary or do my research. I don't post anything without first having the knowledge and checking multiple sources. There is a difference between attraction and sexual attraction. Some call it romantic attraction versus sexual attraction, some call it physical attraction versus sexual attraction. It seems like the same thing, but it's not, and one doesn't automatically confirm the other. Some people even prefer to say homo-romantic, or bi-romantic, because that is their choice. However, generally speaking, in any legitimate resource (I'm not talking Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary here) homosexual and bisexual refers to attraction, romantic AND/OR sexual. I am apparently not the one who needs to do my research, or open a dictionary.

And Tenni, making something as petty as "and/or" into some sort-of conspiracy? SERIOUSLY?!! There is no such "priority", no real rhyme or reason as to why it's "and/or", not "or/and". It just IS. Why can't either of you take things at face value instead of looking for something to make into a debate?! Call a spade a spade and move the fuck on.

I sure as hell am. I am not about to argue sexuality any further, particularly the definition of any of them, when I know who I am, and I know who my friends are, and they know who they are. Just BE who you are and stop questioning everyone else. The facts are out there, and there are plenty of resources. Your past experiences have gotten you here, sure, but the past is full of dated information. This is now. Things have changed. Don't like it, fine, dont try to tell others they're something they're not, or not something they are.

On that note, I am DONE wasting my time with this nonsense. I posted something informative, plain and simple, and like many other innocent threads, it has l been bombed with off-topic opposition. I have better things to do... like, well, anything else, or nothing at all.

Thanks again, Dragon. I appreciate it. :)

drugstore cowboy

Sep 10, 2011, 3:27 AM

I didn't say bisexuals don't get harassed. I said if you're going to claim that asexuals don't get harassed (because they do), then you might as well also falsely claim we don't (because we do.)

Don't tell me to read a dictionary or do my research. I don't post anything without first having the knowledge and checking multiple sources. There is a difference between attraction and sexual attraction. Some call it romantic attraction versus sexual attraction, some call it physical attraction versus sexual attraction. It seems like the same thing, but it's not, and one doesn't automatically confirm the other. Some people even prefer to say homo-romantic, or bi-romantic, because that is their choice. However, generally speaking, in any legitimate resource (I'm not talking Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary here) homosexual and bisexual refers to attraction, romantic AND/OR sexual. I am apparently not the one who needs to do my research, or open a dictionary.

I call it like it is, you like to run your mouth about human sexuality and other things you don't know anything about such as GLBT politics, human sexuality, and GLBT history.

Stop with the failed circular logic.

The so called "Harassment" of asexuals that you're claiming is nothing compared to what bisexuals and gay men, lesbians, and even Trans people who are all sexual beings and have a sexual orientation go through and have gone through for thousands of years when it comes to being called slurs, being beat up or killed because of our sexuality, and being second class citizens and pariahs in most of the world including in parts of the Western world and North America since biphobia, homophobia, and transphobia exist everywhere.

If you come out as asexual at work, or are outed as asexual you're NOT going to get fired or harassed like many many many thousands of GLBT people around the world have been fired and harassed at work because of their sexuality and sexual orientation.

You're way too young to remember any of this but even in the United States this has happened and despite the laws and protection for GLBT people in the workplace it still goes on.

If you want to get technical about it, if you're gay/homosexual or lesbian you're only going to have sexual attraction only to the same gender and you may form a very good friendship with someone of the opposite gender but you're not going to have actual romance with someone of the opposite gender and you'll only have actual true romance and love with someone of the same gender.

I am not a gay man but I have many gay male friends and I've been around gay men for decades and they all have described to me how they are homosexual/gay and not sexually or romantically attracted to the opposite gender at all.

The point of gay liberation was for gay men and lesbians to take a stand and tell the world that they are NOT sexually or/and romantically attracted to the opposite gender at all and that they are not heterosexual at all.

There's nothing wrong with telling someone who is actually asexual or who is not bisexual at all and confused about their sexuality or pretending to be something they are not, that they are not bisexual.

Most people do not care about the silly and pointless terms like "Bi-romantic" or "homo-romantic". These terms are not in the dictionary or any actual reputable sources of human sexuality however I have seen them on the Urban dictionary site that you mentioned. ;)

It's easier for someone just to say, "I'm bisexual but I only fall in love with the same gender.", "I'm bisexual but I only fall in love and have romantic attraction to the opposite gender." or "I'm bisexual and I fall in love with both genders."

Physical attraction and sexual attraction are the exact same thing.

Someone who is asexual is not going to understand these things at all and they'll go on and on about platonic friendships pretending that a LMAO "platonic friendship" is somehow the exact same thing as actual sexual attraction or actually falling in love with someone when it's not.

I'm friends with many people of various sexual orientations but I don't want to have sex with all of them and I'm not physically or sexually attracted to them even if some of them did proposition my bisexual husband and I.

tenni

Sep 10, 2011, 9:24 AM

dragon
I am trying not to read a lot of the posts in this thread as I find that they are probably getting too personal but I did catch your response to me about the article and asexuality. Yes, the article does
"Asexual means a person is not interested in sex. Asexual people may or may not identify with another sexual orientation; for example, they might be romantically interested in people of the opposite gender. They just don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone. "

The reference to may or may not identify with "another sexual orientation" is the part that I find questionable. I'm not sure if we are going around in circles or not but asexuality has not been recognized as a sexuality. As I think that I stated that I do have a very good friend whose behaviour seems to show "asexual" thinking. He may have other aspects or issues but unlike others he would never look up terms about two penis or videos of such things. For a person to have such an interest it shows an interest in sex. There may be some asexuals who do have an interest in sex and sex acts but no sex drive. It just seems like such a contradiction to me. I do suspect that identifying with a known labelled sexuality may be a desire or need for some asexuals to have a sense of belonging...of being sexual like others. My friend identifies as gay but has no interest in having sex with men (and certainly not women). He doesn't identify as asexual. Maybe one day I will ask him but I feel that would be an invasion into areas that he has no interest in discussing. That adds confusion to me to read a self proclaimed asexual exhibiting such a strong interest in sex acts. Just as bisexuals can be conflicted as to whether to accept that they are not heterosexuals. Those who post on this site that they would just rather not deal with labels have a point but that is not reality. I am of the belief that bisexuality is primarily about a sexual attraction. I am of the belief that pansexuality is separate or will be separated from the term bisexuality. I am of the suspicion that one day asexuality will be given a label identification that separates it from our present categories of heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual. Others may have differing opinions but we are all just conjecturing.

Just curious dragon
Are you the male or female part of your profile who is posting here?