how do you give off the "gay" vibe?

[ballerbeauty]

Hey guys, so i have a problem. the whole world thinks i'm straight. Okay yes i dress very girly, i have long hair, and i wear make up and jewerly. but i don't want to have to change my style just attract girls.... so what do i do? i'm bi, but at the current moment it seems like no one's attracted to me :( is changing my style to more of a tom boy relaxed look the best option? or is there some way to give off a gay vibe without taking those measures? i hope i'm not offending anyone with this post, i just could use some help....

[Gearbox]

I have the same problem, only I don't dress girly.:bigrin:
No man approaches me in any other social forum than hookup sites. For once I'd like to be 'pulled' when I'm fully clothed and going about my other business.

So apart from staring a little too long at other men on purpose, I've considered getting a bi-ring or something.

[bisocialnudist]

I don't like the invisibility of being bi one bit, how are we supposed to find others like us if we are all invisible, I wear pink/ purple shirts, wear a purple bracelet , wear an HRC ring which has been noticed by only two people in 3 years, and in general am as animated as I dare. Both the woman who do my hair have gay sons but how exactly does one ask for a gay haircut, is there even such a thing? Im afraid I would be laughed out of the salon.

When I am in Provincetown its seems very clear there is a gay look but I cant put my finger on exactly how to duplicate it.

I have no desire to become a one man bi pride parade but I want to be visible so I can find the others like me, instead I feel like ships passing in the night. A simple "You?" "Me too" and "I understand" from a fellow GLBT person goes a long way.

Mark

[Long Duck Dong]

make more contact with LGBT people in your town / city, make a name for yourself as a LGBT person.....and maybe you will have less issues

we live in a society where sexual harassment etc, is something that can get people in a lot of hot water.... but yet people have issues with the fact that others respect your personal space, and avoid misunderstandings, such as sexuality assumptions....

put yourself in the shoes of a stranger and somebody assumes something about you based around what you are wearing, it can be uncomfortable and awkward when you have to tell them that they are incorrect and mistaken.... you wear what you wear cos you like it......

a example of that is in the US and in NZ, some colors are gang colors and there have been cases of people assumed to be gang members cos of what they were...... unfortunately, in one case, a female in the us was killed for *throwing gang signs * she was in fact deaf and using sign language......

the other side of the issue, is we want to be bi visible, but it doesn't make the man in the pink jersey LGBT, so we create the same issue as with the gang colors, we assume they are LGBT cos they were * wearing our colors *

so yeah, my advice is to get involved with your local LGBT groups, ignore the *politics * that you find in most of those groups, and within a few months, the *word * about you, will spread like a rumour thru facebook....... lol....

[fredtyg]

make more contact with LGBT people in your town / city, make a name for yourself as a LGBT person.....and maybe you will have less issues
so yeah, my advice is to get involved with your local LGBT groups, ignore the *politics * that you find in most of those groups, and within a few months, the *word * about you, will spread like a rumour thru facebook....... lol....

Seems to me that's about all you can do.

One thing to keep in mind about trying to be obviously homo or bisexual: If you make it too obvious you're homosexual, it could chase potential meet ups away. If everybody knows you're queer, some folks that might be interested in you might shy away from you lest everybody else think they're also queer.

I found that out through personal experience when I was unexpectedly outed to some people. The one guy I was fooling around with stopped seeing me because he didn't want the others to think he was queer by hanging out with me.

Just be sure and join every homo organization- especially local ones- that you can. That way the right people will know but not everybody.

[hgf33]

I don't think you should ever change something about yourself that you like. People dress a certain way to fit their own personalities, and you would be sacrificing part of yourself if you changed that. If you try to look a certain way, but you're uncomfortable, it will show.

I am a tomboy, but not because I'm bi. It's just who I've always been. I still do my hair and makeup. I like to make people wonder about my sexuality. They see me with my boyfriend, but carrying a very visible, rainbow colored "legalize" keychain, and I wear bracelets and things. I even have a couple of tshirts, one of them saying "I like girls who like girls", lol! The last girl I was with wore a very simple rainbow-colored beaded bracelet. You could just do something small like that, without being boyish. You could make your own bracelet, using the bi colors or something, or maybe you could special-order a necklace with a bi symbol. Granted, you sound pretty stylish, and I am probably some kinda fashion disaster, myself, but I'm sure there are very fashionable and tasteful ways you could do it. If you carry a purse, maybe you could create some small woven or beaded charm to hang from it. Something small that's noticeable enough to grab someone's attention.

That's just an idea though. I'm silly and I like to have fun with it, but you don't need to have anything or wear anything that broadcasts your sexuality.

Maybe try to be a little more outgoing or flirty. If you see a girl who catches your eye, try to maintain eye contact a little longer, and smile at her. Let her catch you checking her out. I agree with some of the others, that one of the best things you could do is get involved in the LGBT community in some way. I found myself very warmly accepted, and gay bars/clubs are so much fun! I've also made some friends, and the combination of everything seems to have strengthened my gaydar (bi-dar?) Many of the girls I've wondered about, turned out to be bi like I suspected. (Too bad they're all friends I'm not interested in, haha.)

In the end, the best thing you can do is just be yourself. If you're shy, try to feign confidence. Confidence is sexy (although cockiness is insecurity in disguise, so don't go TOO far with it.) Keep in mind that looking a certain way is just a stereotype, and you shouldn't feel like you need to fit into anything like that. I think (actually, I KNOW) that many women would LOVE to find out that a sexy, feminine lady like you, is bisexual!

Best of luck to you! :bipride: