Where to find Bi discreet guys?

[NNewyork]

Hi,

I am a single bisexual guy. Handsome fella here, successful, smart, workout, good body, and I think I got my stuff together. One thing about me though is that I am not out re: my bisexual side to anyone.

I am really looking for a guy for friendship +. I don't want a one-time hookup (never had any problem with that anyway but don't want it). I want someone in the same situation, to talk to, hand out with, and potentially have some fun behind closed doors.

For over a year now, I've been trying to find a guy who fits the bit, but have been incredibly unsuccessful. I tried with Craigslist (lots of fakes / mismatches), manhunt (mostly wanted a quick hookup), and bisexual.com (I don't think there are enough members here, or sometimes people just don't log back here often), and did not have any luck.

I know I am not the only person who is looking for such relationship. I live in metro NYC and I know I am not alone. I was wondering, where do you find other bi discreet guys?

This shouldn't be this hard :-). Thanks!

[jimpgh6969]

I so agree, it does seem to b difficult, I am not out either and don't plan on being, it would nice to find a friend to hang out with and at the end of the day have some fun.

[Realist]

This is a big issue! Being relationship oriented, I can understand wanting to have an LTR with a focus on friendship as well as sex.

I can't believe that someone hasn't come up with something specifically for bisexuals, as successful as one of the matchmaker programs I've seen.

Looking back at my past male lovers, which there have been only a few, I realize that almost everyone of them just fell out of the blue! I've been incredibly lucky, as only one of my mm relationships was less than rewarding.

Don't give up and don't settle for less than you want, would be my advice. There HAS to be someone who is close to you and in the process of wanting the same things.

Good luck!

[djones]

Persistence is the key - and being up front with people from the start (which I assume you are). I've had several first "dates" from this site and others that led to nothing else. After weeding through the mismatches and the flakes, I have met some decent people that fit the description of what you are looking for.

It isn't easy - but worth the time.

Good Luck

[BradNDallas]

Hi,

I am a single bisexual guy. Handsome fella here, successful, smart, workout, good body, and I think I got my stuff together. One thing about me though is that I am not out re: my bisexual side to anyone.

I am really looking for a guy for friendship +. I don't want a one-time hookup (never had any problem with that anyway but don't want it). I want someone in the same situation, to talk to, hand out with, and potentially have some fun behind closed doors.

For over a year now, I've been trying to find a guy who fits the bit, but have been incredibly unsuccessful. I tried with Craigslist (lots of fakes / mismatches), manhunt (mostly wanted a quick hookup), and bisexual.com (I don't think there are enough members here, or sometimes people just don't log back here often), and did not have any luck.

I know I am not the only person who is looking for such relationship. I live in metro NYC and I know I am not alone. I was wondering, where do you find other bi discreet guys?

This shouldn't be this hard :-). Thanks!

LOl I am in the same boat as you are...to bad your not in Taxas.

[othercat]

i totaly hear what your saying. its definately an issue for lots of bi guys to hook up. i love being bi, cant imagine being any thing else. iv been on alot of social websites but only met a couple people that i could get together with. unfortunatly iv in person met with some people who turned out to be nothing at all like they described themselves to be and that is a huge turn off and very dicouraging. im hoping this website will be better for me. iv only registeted yesterday and for me its way better than any other bi website iv seen. it seems to be well monitered and actualy and honestly dedicated to bisexuals. you just have to keep trying, and not get too discouraged if things dont work out. i am so much more careful now. i liked to get to know some one realy well before i hook up. maybe also im too particular, but i dont want to comprimise on the things im interested in. just have to search for those who are compatible and have the same specific desires. wishing every one well in their endeavors. wish every one find their perfect match.

[NNewyork]

Thanks all for sharing. I guess that's a common problem for being bi and not out. With a girl I guess, there is no 'social' taboo, I can ask a girl for her number, and hey, if she says yes that's great, if she says no it's something to joke about. But with guys, it's different. I see guys in the street whom I swear get my bi-dar sending alarms, but I just can't approach them, fearing that 10 or 20% possibility that I am wrong. Wish things were a bit less complicated.

I am a nice guy really, and in a way I really don't like being intimiate with anyone without some sort of substance, you know? I admit I did hookup on CL (and funny how easy it is for me to find bi guys then) but I have to say it got old rather quickly and I want a little more.

I once had a short relationship with a gay man, he told me I was 'perfect boyfriend material', but later it had to end as he didn't like a discreet relationship and he felt that he can 'never compete' with a woman, fair enough. That's why, I think a BI guy in a similar situation would understand the most...

[Spaka69]

I have been on this site sense March 2011 with no luck. That's why out of 107k+ registered members only a hand full ever come back to this site, it's pretty boring and it's not user friendly. I think it's more of a talk site for a few regulars to express their opinions. I contacted a few members here that I thought I matched but I didn't even get a no thank you, and when I listed as M/F couple all I got were straight guys wanting to fuck my wife, NO... I have tried Adult Friend Finder with good results but you need to filter a whole lot of flakes and fakes out to find a good one, but you CAN find one. Craigs List is a waste of time, met one guy from 50 replies and he turned out to be fugly, nice body and cock but I just couldn't get past the head and the smashed grill. So my advice would be to use the pay sites and use this site for advice, watch your credit card for unauthorized charges if you do use a pay site. You can't get something for nothing in this world.

[abennyb]

You may try www.squirt.org

The guys there list if they are bi or not. The site seems to cover every country in the western world with many, many from even small geographic areas, especially in Europe and North America. The site also have very powerful search options, including area, preferences (top/bottom) & more. It is not overly pricey at ~ $ 90 per annum and could be worth a try.

You can look for free, but to contact someone requires money. Worth a free visit, or a few. Your choice.

[bikurinpa]

I am in same boat as you, and seem I am only one in my area too I tried all sites and tey are just game players, and if I did find one , he was hundreds miles away! Too bad there is another man in same boat as me here in central Pa



Hi,

I am a single bisexual guy. Handsome fella here, successful, smart, workout, good body, and I think I got my stuff together. One thing about me though is that I am not out re: my bisexual side to anyone.

I am really looking for a guy for friendship +. I don't want a one-time hookup (never had any problem with that anyway but don't want it). I want someone in the same situation, to talk to, hand out with, and potentially have some fun behind closed doors.

For over a year now, I've been trying to find a guy who fits the bit, but have been incredibly unsuccessful. I tried with Craigslist (lots of fakes / mismatches), manhunt (mostly wanted a quick hookup), and bisexual.com (I don't think there are enough members here, or sometimes people just don't log back here often), and did not have any luck.

I know I am not the only person who is looking for such relationship. I live in metro NYC and I know I am not alone. I was wondering, where do you find other bi discreet guys?

This shouldn't be this hard :-). Thanks!

[ckman314]

You would think us being guys and always horny and being bi we would all have 5 or 6 regular fuck buddies but it just seems too be that hardest thing too do. Thats all I want a friend a buddy a pal who enjoys me sucking his cock once in a while and vice a versa

[slipnslide]

Grindr

[frontierman2011]

The problem with "Squirt.Org" is that unless you pay the premium, the site becomes very user-unfriendly when the free trial expires. I feel your frustration, my friend and although I'm married and probably don't fit the bill of what you're looking for either, I would love to go around the world with you just once... lol :rolleyes:

[keefer201]

I live in the NYC metro area in NJ and it's very easy. A bit of assertiveness goes miles in this area. I said be assertive not agressive.

[virginia123]

No one mentioned www.bisexualplayground.com. It's another obviously bisexual oriented website with people looking to hookup. Don't know a lot about it, other than it is a possible resource for what you are wanting to find. Good luck!

[dm330]

I know how that is. I am a bi 31 year old male and I don't seem to have a problem attracting older bi discreet people, but I'm not into the older crowd. I have difficulty finding guys closer to my age and it may be this area I live in. It seems people my age and younger are still worried about coming out, no matter how discreet the other person may be, but it does seem that as people get older, they're more open about the lifestyle. You're not alone man.

[FinkDoodle]

The best free site I've found is www.adam4adam.com

It's an all-male site but there's a lot of bi men there and it's very user-friendly to those with unpaid memberships. There's more features if you pay, obviously, but it works very well as a free site.

[12voltman59]

You may try www.squirt.org

The guys there list if they are bi or not. The site seems to cover every country in the western world with many, many from even small geographic areas, especially in Europe and North America. The site also have very powerful search options, including area, preferences (top/bottom) & more. It is not overly pricey at ~ $ 90 per annum and could be worth a try.
You can look for free, but to contact someone requires money. Worth a free visit, or a few. Your choice.

I have to second that this site is actually a pretty good place to meet other guys----of course just like with any site and meeting anyone male or female---you do want to put them through your own vetting process, whatever that is.

To make it worthwhile--you do need to get a paid membership---I do it in three month increments and that is not too hard to deal with since its only $30.

Of course--you will find "freaks and geeks"* and such--but you can also find some pretty decent guys there too----I have had very good luck on that site and surely do recommend it.

*No offense to either freaks or geeks--just trying to add a bit of humor to the conversation and that little phrase is sorta funny and surely it rhymes as well.

[orallybi4cpl]

No one mentioned www.bisexualplayground.com. It's another obviously bisexual oriented website with people looking to hookup. Don't know a lot about it, other than it is a possible resource for what you are wanting to find. Good luck!

dont waste your time or money with bisexualplayground

all you have to do is mention another site or your email or yahoo id
and they will kick you off

very unfriendly.. never give them any money

and most of the ads are old.. they will keep your profile there indefinitely
to scam other people into thinking there are more people there than
really are

[jamieknyc]

I have met two guys who were chat friends (sorry no kiss and tell LOL). I dobn't go for CL or other anonymous pickups.

[jhg50]

living in a small town being bi is a must secret. only way sometimes is to be introduced be others in your area. if you live in a small town trust and secrecy is a must sometimes. just keep looking and good luck

[dafydd]

Hi,

I am a single bisexual guy. Handsome fella here, successful, smart, workout, good body, and I think I got my stuff together. One thing about me though is that I am not out re: my bisexual side to anyone.

I am really looking for a guy for friendship +. I don't want a one-time hookup (never had any problem with that anyway but don't want it). I want someone in the same situation, to talk to, hand out with, and potentially have some fun behind closed doors.

For over a year now, I've been trying to find a guy who fits the bit, but have been incredibly unsuccessful. I tried with Craigslist (lots of fakes / mismatches), manhunt (mostly wanted a quick hookup), and bisexual.com (I don't think there are enough members here, or sometimes people just don't log back here often), and did not have any luck.

I know I am not the only person who is looking for such relationship. I live in metro NYC and I know I am not alone. I was wondering, where do you find other bi discreet guys?

This shouldn't be this hard :-). Thanks!

I wouldntt give up on the shagging sites: lots of 'one-time hook up's' develop into something more. People feel hesitant responding to others looking for something more at first. They might not want to commit to something with someone they've never met without first exploring sexual compatability or building up confidence or trust. 'One time hook ups' are just a catch all phrase. It doesnt always follow that these guys won't consider anything more developing. But saying so gives the freedom of a non-pressurised point of contact.
Also don't discount out bi men. Often guys who use the term 'discreet' arent only 'not out', but can (though not always) be in relationships, married, have children, be dealing with issues of internalised homophobia, shame etc. and therefore will be less likely to want more than NSA 'one night stands'. Would you want to add all that messy subterfuge to your life? sometimes i feel 'discreet' is a bit of a euphimism.
What does the idea of 'coming out' look like to you?
could that be a possibility to explore?
you're well placed geographically to explore this, though not sure about your personal situation.

d

[BatCox40]

You would think us being guys and always horny and being bi we would all have 5 or 6 regular fuck buddies but it just seems too be that hardest thing too do. Thats all I want a friend a buddy a pal who enjoys me sucking his cock once in a while and vice a versa

Exactly the case. The greatest difficulty is finding a buddy (or two or more) especially someone close to your local area. I would be interested in anyone from the UK.

[millerlarry]

No one mentioned www.bisexualplayground.com. It's another obviously bisexual oriented website with people looking to hookup. Don't know a lot about it, other than it is a possible resource for what you are wanting to find. Good luck!

thanks for the link...i'll try it

[Bisexual Explorer]

I have been fortunate to find two wonderful, male partners on this website. It did take a while, and there were a few "let's get together for coffee" that didn't work out.

NNewYork your picture is a good start, but not enough. You really should fill out your profile by following Drew's dictum to describe who you are and what you are looking for as accurately as possible. Contact people on this website who have profiles of interest. One of the reasons most of us are here is to find partners, friends, etc. So we are what advertising types call a good target audience. Reading responses to forums, messaging, and chat can give you a pretty good sense whether the people who do respond are at least worthwhile meeting.

With any amount of luck and some persistance, you will find people you want to meet face-to-face and maybe go further.

g

[Bisexual Explorer]

I have been fortunate to find two wonderful, male partners on this website. It did take a while, and there were a few "let's get together for coffee" that didn't work out.

NNewYork your picture is a good start, but not enough. You really should fill out your profile by following Drew's dictum to describe who you are and what you are looking for as accurately as possible. Contact people on this website who have profiles of interest. One of the reasons most of us are here is to find partners, friends, etc. So we are what advertising types call a good target audience. Reading responses to forums, messaging, and chat can give you a pretty good sense whether the people who do respond are at least worthwhile meeting.

With any amount of luck and some persistance, you will find people you want to meet face-to-face and maybe go further.

g

[dafydd]

I once had a short relationship with a gay man, he told me I was 'perfect boyfriend material', but later it had to end as he didn't like a discreet relationship and he felt that he can 'never compete' with a woman, fair enough. That's why, I think a BI guy in a similar situation would understand the most...

I would find it very difficult to date someone who wasn't out. I understand what your ex means in that respect, (hearing the word 'perfect' flags to me a rash judgement).
His other comment is nonsensical: unless you were in a non-monogamous relationship, in which case its worth some analysis.

Q: Do you currently approach women in public, as you would want to do men?
If you don't, then what does the so-called 'social taboo' aspect have to do with you approaching men? If you're not the kind of person who can get numbers from people in the streets (who can?):) then the eradication of homophobia won't make any difference.
I don't think it's a social-taboo where I live in London, I am out, and I hold hands in public with male partners.
Yet I *still* don't approach the cute guy sitting opposite me on the train.
I just sit there, stealing looks, and willing a chat box and a keyboard to materiliase. Then he gets off. The ease of the internet enables and disenables us sometimes in equal measure, my friend.
'Pulling' can be a difficult thing to do in itself, no matter our sexuality or society we live in.

best

D

[bi4asplay]

I so wish that I could a single guy/couple for time to time play. Nice if it is more than just a sexual deal. Friends. Go drink a beer, go sailing, have some fun!

[DiamondDog]

Anyone that needs to be discreet or deeply closeted about their sexuality or about being with another person is simply not worth your time. If you are on the internet and read profiles that say someone has to be discreet it means that they are married or partnered and wanting to cheat on their spouse or partner.

[sterculius]

I've had some luck with silverdaddies.com. The name implies older guys but it includes all age groups.

[Coastocoast]

Anyone that needs to be discreet or deeply closeted about their sexuality or about being with another person is simply not worth your time. If you are on the internet and read profiles that say someone has to be discreet it means that they are married or partnered and wanting to cheat on their spouse or partner.

Discreet can mean having children, careers or situations that do not lend themselves to telling the world about our sexuality. I am bisexual and a very single father. I am looking for someone who is also single and unattached but does not have a billboard on their back explaining to the world about their sexuality. I also work in the public sector and have seen what happens to those out to the world about sexuality that is not straight. Some people are not worth spending ones time with when they want different things or they give you other reasons to know it will not work including being closeted or out when you are different. There is Someone out there for everyone, just find the right person for you.

[art0711]

We're close - get in touch

[sancyyy]

Im on the site adultfriendfinder.com It has worked for me. Also have met 2 guys from this site.

[GolfNutt]

Discreet can mean having children, careers or situations that do not lend themselves to telling the world about our sexuality. I am bisexual and a very single father. I am looking for someone who is also single and unattached but does not have a billboard on their back explaining to the world about their sexuality. I also work in the public sector and have seen what happens to those out to the world about sexuality that is not straight. Some people are not worth spending ones time with when they want different things or they give you other reasons to know it will not work including being closeted or out when you are different. There is Someone out there for everyone, just find the right person for you.
Very well stated.

[DiamondDog]

Discreet can mean having children, careers or situations that do not lend themselves to telling the world about our sexuality. I am bisexual and a very single father. I am looking for someone who is also single and unattached but does not have a billboard on their back explaining to the world about their sexuality. I also work in the public sector and have seen what happens to those out to the world about sexuality that is not straight. Some people are not worth spending ones time with when they want different things or they give you other reasons to know it will not work including being closeted or out when you are different. There is Someone out there for everyone, just find the right person for you. Being out about your sexuality even if you work with the public sector or even private sector, does not mean that your career is going to suffer or that you're now doomed for failure. There are a lot of LGBT people who work in both the public and private sectors and who are out and their careers have not suffered. Yes I am speaking from experience as being out as bisexual in various jobs I have held that were in the public sector.

[Coastocoast]

Being out about your sexuality even if you work with the public sector or even private sector, does not mean that your career is going to suffer or that you're now doomed for failure. There are a lot of LGBT people who work in both the public and private sectors and who are out and their careers have not suffered. Yes I am speaking from experience as being out as bisexual in various jobs I have held that were in the public sector.

Not in my job. My face and name are out there and I am not willing to see it in print or potentially on screen so like many others I keep things discreet. In my case my career would hit a block wall and there could be custody situation that could arise (I have physical custody) so things are what they are. I am very glad that you are able to let the world know but some of are not. I have passed on hanging out with many who are open with their sexuality and I pass on encumbered people as we are just after different things.

[DiamondDog]

Not in my job. My face and name are out there and I am not willing to see it in print or potentially on screen so like many others I keep things discreet. In my case my career would hit a block wall and there could be custody situation that could arise (I have physical custody) so things are what they are. I am very glad that you are able to let the world know but some of are not. I have passed on hanging out with many who are open with their sexuality and I pass on encumbered people as we are just after different things. Again that's your own fears and issues about your sexuality. There are LGBT people who do all sort of public work and who are well known and their careers have not suffered because of being out.

[rodman2005]

Why not meet real people before pushing them for sex? I mean go to a health club, work out some, go to the steamroom, try the hot tubs, meet and greet, check them out cause they are there doing it too. I mean "Can you spot me for a few?" or "Where do you go for fun outside of here?" or "Want to go jogging outside with me for a sprint?" You'd be very surprised. Also the occasional foot touching in the hot tub always works... go nude in the sauna and hold onto your towel, occasionally scratching and lifting up your balls when you reposition yourself then, if only one other is in the sauna with you, start to play with your penis like you're trying to get it up for comfort rather than sex... you'd be pleased at what the other guys does...mmmmmm good luck!

[Ebonybifemme7]

Men have so much more sexual freedom than women. Its rare that I meet a woman who wants to get to know me one on one, her husband or boyfriend always wants to be involved.

[leodecatur]

After 30 days you can no longer send or receive mail. So if you see an ad that is over 30 days old, unless they are a paid member they are toast. I would not waste my money on www.bisexualplayground.com.

dont waste your time or money with bisexualplayground

all you have to do is mention another site or your email or yahoo id
and they will kick you off

very unfriendly.. never give them any money

and most of the ads are old.. they will keep your profile there indefinitely
to scam other people into thinking there are more people there than
really are

[bikurinpa]

After 30 days you can no longer send or receive mail. So if you see an ad that is over 30 days old, unless they are a paid member they are toast. I would not waste my money on www.bisexualplayground.com (http://www.bisexualplayground.com).
Adultfriendfinder is about the same way, I bought the 4 mo membership, and after few days I found out that so many profiles are abandoned, not been online in more then 3 mo, makes a search look good with many results, but they never get on anymore. And I noticed many of the guys on there are also the same bull shippers and game players that is on most all the other m2m sites, just slick enough to use a different username! so probably best be to meet someone in person in real life by pure dumb luck!
I got my membership reduced to a one month only then they will have another abandoned profile!

[bikurinpa]

I have been looking for years, even all the male sites like silverdaddies etc, but they all just guys who get on when horny and chat to fantasize about it and then they GONE! No real intentions of meeting any one.



Hi,

I am a single bisexual guy. Handsome fella here, successful, smart, workout, good body, and I think I got my stuff together. One thing about me though is that I am not out re: my bisexual side to anyone.

I am really looking for a guy for friendship +. I don't want a one-time hookup (never had any problem with that anyway but don't want it). I want someone in the same situation, to talk to, hand out with, and potentially have some fun behind closed doors.

For over a year now, I've been trying to find a guy who fits the bit, but have been incredibly unsuccessful. I tried with Craigslist (lots of fakes / mismatches), manhunt (mostly wanted a quick hookup), and bisexual.com (I don't think there are enough members here, or sometimes people just don't log back here often), and did not have any luck.

I know I am not the only person who is looking for such relationship. I live in metro NYC and I know I am not alone. I was wondering, where do you find other bi discreet guys?

This shouldn't be this hard :-). Thanks!

[Bidirectional4u]

I have the hardest time finding a Bi discreet guy in my area, Wife and I have been looking for a year now. I miss our regular partner back in Florida.

[jimkimball]

I live in the country and have a hard time finding what I want ,it was easier when I worked in the city .
It's hard to find anyone that has more then 6" anymore ,what happened,I like 8" or bigger myself.

[MNBiGuy]

I would disagree......woman can have sex with who and when ever they want. Men......no

[IamWhoIamBiSex]

Bisexual drink friends would be nice.

[nu2curious]

At the risk of redundancy I'll offer my opinion about the various sites supposedly aimed at helping us be discreet and connected.

What they're really doing is taking advantage of our needs as bisexual men who really would love to make the right connections with a like minded guy. They have a fair return on paid memberships yet nearly all who join report nothingness. Sad sate of affairs guys, I'm offering this summation speaking as one who's had memberships on a variety of sites over the years.

In conclusion I's say save your hard earned cash and rely on old fashioned person to person meetups.

[travelingman5000]

I do wish it was easier to find bi married guys. I am headed to Las Vegas mid December and would love to line something up but I have not had mutch luck with any of the mentioned resources

[Jozyxt]

I do wish it was easier to find bi married guys. I am headed to Las Vegas mid December and would love to line something up but I have not had mutch luck with any of the mentioned resources

I have had luck with the travels section of silver daddies. I found the guy there I am meeting tomorrow morning. Plus one of the best BJ's I've ever had from my ad while in NYC.

[bi_data_nerd]

Same question - any ideas on resources or ideas for married bi men in NYC?

[ClassicPaCpl]

My situation is a bit different.
Im married. Happily i might add. She too is bi and we belong to sls and a few other sites.
My problem is we both want to be involved in a bi 3some or 4some.
Its harder thN you think to find
Most of the guys we find are more interest in her and thats not what we want.
We want to find a biguy for me and a bigirl for her
This is harder to find than it sounds

[bikurinpa]

My situation is a bit different.
Im married. Happily i might add. She too is bi and we belong to sls and a few other sites.
My problem is we both want to be involved in a bi 3some or 4some.
Its harder thN you think to find
Most of the guys we find are more interest in her and thats not what we want.
We want to find a biguy for me and a bigirl for her
This is harder to find than it sounds
We are in SLS too, same problem and so many claim to be interested but ghost out. let my profile go inactive to offline.

[travelingman5000]

I have posted in the travel section of silverdaddies for my trip to Las Vegas mid December. Hope it works out. I will be solo and hoping to take advantage

[bikurinpa]

I have posted in the travel section of silverdaddies for my trip to Las Vegas mid December. Hope it works out. I will be solo and hoping to take advantage
You will en counter same problem on SD, fantasizers who want to chat about it, then once they get off, they are GONE!

[travelingman5000]

I hear ya. But I do hope I can take advantage of this Vagas trip