Best of both worlds

[SxyStar]

I'm currently married to a man I really love and have 2 children. I'm also dating a girl who lives 4 hrs away from me. Her and I have never acctually met since her husband works a weird hrs. I've been talking to her for almost a yr and we have acctually only been going out for about 3 or 4 days now. My husband and I both have talked 2 both of them. All of us r comfortable with each other, but my husband is just now really getting use to the idea of me being with a woman.

He has known I was bi sexual since the day we met but I don't just go out and look for woman. I haven't been with a woman sexually or anything since I was 15. I'm really picky about woman. Reason, why I wanted until now is b/c I wanted to make sure my bond with my children and husband were strong enough to with stand it if I did find a woman to be with or play around with.

The point I'm trying to get at is, can 2 bi sexual married woman be together with out making everything really complicating?

[Jobelorocks]

It can have some difficulties, but there are plenty of people who can make that sort of thing work. I suggest you read up on polyamoury. There are polyamorous people who have committed relationships with more than one person.

I think a big issue would be how your husband feels about this. You need to discuss it with him and see how it would make him feel. You need to choose to be devoted to your family and let your husband know that this relationship would not change your devotion to him or the family.

[Long Duck Dong]

yes and no.... gotta love that answer...lol

it can be as complicated as you want to make it.....

a few suggestions is have boundaries on the things you can control like who stays where, when etc etc.... and keep hubby in the loop

the things you can not control are things like emotions and feelings, so you need to keep a eye on them... cos things like jealousy and envy and resentment are big dangers and they often do not appear until things start off or are rolling along...

if both husbands are ok and understanding.... and accepting, it can be easy going... but if either or both of the husbands develop issues, that can complicate things as well

[darkeyes]

Of course 2 women can make it work without it getting too complicated... Jobelorocks mentions polyamoury but in a sense that can be a complication in itself and suggests some kind of commitment which u may or may not be prepared to make.. dating is one thing..screwing is quite another.. taking it further is a step deeper into something else..

Much depends on the two women involved, and how they see the relationship and whether it is just for uncomplicated friendship and fun or something more.. and with two hubbies about and and having some kind of input, maybe even involvement, the question is whether it is just a relationship between 2 or 4 people..

Duckie is only partly right when he says the relationship can be as complicated as you want to make it.. because as he goes on to warn you about there is something called human emotion which will to some extent become involved, the depth of which depends on the relationship you nurture and how much you may be drawn to each other... many of us can handle it.. some of us cant.. some can handle it most of the time but there are occasions when things go belly up because of the depth of feeling which develops unintentionally.. dare I say love.. and which builds between two people.. no one knows what will happen until people meet and begin to fully involve themselves in the kind of relationship you envision.. and the feelings and possibly jealousy of partners cannot be discounted and are equally unpredictable.. something which a partner thinks they can handle and seems fine with them in theory and in principle, doesnt always work out that way when their partner puts it into practice...

We are human beings, hun.. and being human, things happen in relationships we don't bargain for... we are never completely in control of our feelings and in that Duckie is dead right... we are loose cannons however much we love and are committed to our partner.

However things develop I am pretty sure one thing will happen.. your relationship with your husband and hers with her's will change... that is almost inevitable.. it can be a positive change or one which blows up in everyone's face.. thats a risk u will all have to assess..

I'm not trying to be a Dysmal Jimmy here, just trying to inject some realism into what is a huge step you want to make..

Wishya luck babes...:)

[SxyStar]

Thank u to everyone who responded. I know that both of our marriages will change if her and I get into a deep realtionship. I'm prepared for that. My husband talked to my girl today and with some of the stuff he told her makes me think he is getting use to the idea. Or at least I am hoping so. All of us talk and us women before we do anything we talk to the guys first, for out of respect for them and for respect for our marriages. The men where around before her and I got together. We both r looking at this at every level and are making sure that the men r involved in everything that they want to be involved into.

[Tears44]

My ex-is bi and when we were together, THAT was never a issue. to be real,,the men have to be just that!!! Men and not let their male ego come into play...I knew she was bi- from the start..she did not know I was in the closet at the time..we went to a couple of sex clubs..after I came out to her. She said she had a feeling...the way we had sex, she knew in a way...so when we went to ythis sex club I was like freaking out..she would relax me, guys were sending me drinks..she brought over a nice looking guy and we had a three way kissing thing...Than we went into a dark corner the club had a number of them..she brought a female back to us..they kissed and necked right in front of me..then they both opened my chest and sucked on my nipples and kiss at the same time..I knew than, she was really bi...when we left there was a note on the dashboard, we laughed wondering if it was for me or her..It was for her..So she started seeing this chick, she was hot, a nurse..one night a week they would get together..It was a needed she needed...I knew to make this work..I had to be a man and understand it was just sex with friendship..So, thats it...emotions will come to play, but so WHAT..enjoy and remember..you got one go round than YOU DIE!!!!

Make the most of it!!!!!!...........

[SxyStar]

Tears44,
I wish my husband would see it that way. He has an insecurity of me leaving him for a woman. He just doesn't understand that it is a sexual need that I have. Even if he wanted to join or watch that would be fine with me.

[sammie19]

Sometimes people are driven to do things no matter the risk to their relationship. No matter how much or how little they weigh up the risk and consequences heart and mind drive them forward. Often it works out well, and sometimes badly. I hope for all of you it works out well Star.:)

[SxyStar]

Thank u, Sammie19. Everyone that is involved is in involved in everyway possible. When it comes to the whole situation. I'm not keeping any of this a secret. Her husband knows and so does mine. My children don't know yet but that is b/c I'm waiting until they get older to tell them.