uh-oh

[hypershot]

I had a really bad day on Saturday and last thing at night my ex called me up...So i went over to hers, and ended up sleeping with her.

I feel like I've made a really big mistake! Now I feel like I'm back in a realtionship with her and that's the last place I want to be right now. What am I going to do, I want to stay as her friend but I don't want to be with her. Should I tell her or keep lying? She knows I'm bi, but doesnt know im looking for a activity with someone...

Your views please, I desperately need your help.

Thanks,

Love Chris

xXx

[jo69guy]

Sometimes, when we are down, we make decisions we later regret. I have made some similar mistakes in the past, and unless you just want to try things again with her, the best thing would be to let her know that you are not interested in starting over.

Keep you chin up! Things will get better!

[Heartless01]

:banghead:

Honesty is usually the best policy.

When it comes to sex and relationships, it's ALWAYS the best policy. I have learned this the hard way.

Hindsight is 20/20. If it were me, I would tell her soon what I was willing to be within her life, what I was willing to accept in my own life regarding her, and make double sure she understood what I said.

At least that way you have no personal guilt.

:female:

[julie]

:banghead:

Honesty is usually the best policy.

When it comes to sex and relationships, it's ALWAYS the best policy. I have learned this the hard way.

Hindsight is 20/20. If it were me, I would tell her soon what I was willing to be within her life, what I was willing to accept in my own life regarding her, and make double sure she understood what I said.

At least that way you have no personal guilt.

:female:
Hi Chris,

I can see this is so excruciatingly painful and confusing for you and yet I can only second what Heartless has to say, because I too learned the hard way.

The consequences of my living with secrets and lies nearly destroyed me and my children. As an adult I have to live with responsibility for those consequences, my children just have to live with the consequences.

This isn't to say you have done anything wrong by having sex with your ex-partner, she is an adult, she could have said no, you know! Nor does it mean you are back in a committed relationship with her. You were feeling vulnerable and, as she contacted you, I suspect she was too. And that night you met each others needs and probably will do, if you havent already ;) , again.

I guess she is quite scared by what you have told her about being bi, and, like the rest of the world, will want to minimise not only what you say, but also what you (as she chooses to see it) believe you are feeling about wanting to explore sex with men as much as women.

There are far too many of us on this site who have suppressed our bi-side to please others, to not rock the boat etc. Only for those feelings to come back with a vengence when we are deeply entrenched in our half lived lives.

The truth will set her free Chris, as much as it will you. You are both too precious to let this wreck your lives and, if you speak out now you may be able to salvage a very important friendship? If not now, then maybe one day, because you told her the truth, not just what she wanted to hear, and that makes you worthy of trust.

Good luck anyway Chris, wherever you go from here :bigrin:

Love Julie xx

[TouchableTina4]

Just be honest and tell her you do not want a relationship but that you want to remain friends.

[hypershot]

I've told her that, but I'm addicted to her and i just keep lying to her and myself. Atm we're friends who sleep with each other. I've told her i wont sleep with anyone else as long as im allowed to interact with other people like myself -the bi community. But i think that was kind of a little lie, cos im already taling to other girls/guys and wanting to meet up. I just dont want to lose her thats all.... :(

[WolffeWoman42]

Hi Chris,

I agree with what has been said here. My :2cents: would be to treat her like you would want to be treated. How would you feel if she did this to you? I think in answering that question, you'll be able to resolve your issue and feel good about it. Good luck!

Sensuously,
Dawn

[hypershot]

Well I was talking to her yesterday and she cant be with me anymore cos I flirt too much she says. Which is fine by me, im not gonna stop flirting with people. So that's the end of our relationship again. Sad to see her go, but know it's the best choice for both of us. Now I have nothing holding me back! Yay for me! Hehehehehe!

Thanks for all ur help guys, I hope the right decision has been made.

Love Chris

xXx

[julie]

Hey Chris,

So glad it has worked out so well for both of you, nice one :tong: Now neither of you have to compromise who you are, or what you are looking for!

Enjoy!!! :bigrin: