MEN AND HYGIENE BEFORE ANAL SEX

[POISON1113]

SO WHAT DO YOU MEN AND POSSABLELY LADYS DO BEFORE YOU GO TO PARTAKE IN ANAL SEX . HOW DO YOU MAKE SURE THAT IT DONT INVOLVE A MESS DURNING SEX AND MAKE FOR A BAD EXPERIANCE ?

[JohnnyV]

Please pay careful attention to hygiene in this area, since smelly or messy anal sex is worse than not having sex at all. The thought of anal sex with men generally disgusts me, not because I'm homophobic, but because I was traumatized by some early experiences in which I was the top and the bottom was messy. I threw up once after sex because the guy was so dirty and the smell was so awful. It was enough to scare me off for life.

In my experience, women don't get messy or smelly as much because they don't eat as much, or they tend to worry about these things far in advance, so they purposefully avoid eating big meals within hours of getting mounted.

Make sure to plan ahead. Shower very well and very aggressively, with a good soap like Irish Spring or something. Don't eat anything solid for the half-day or so before you plan some action. I have heard that some men like douching or using enemas, which is not a bad idea. Make sure you've had a bowel movement after the last big meal, then don't eat another big meal until the Big Event. You can also avoid bleeding, I understand, if you loosen yourself up before the date with a dildo, use good lubrication, and breathe carefully during the sex.

I've never been the bottom, so maybe others can add better advice. I will say this, though; the safety of anal sex with a condom is often exaggerated. Condoms break very often during anal sex -- every time I've had anal sex with a woman, the condom has broken, for instance. And when the condom breaks, it's usually because of friction that is also making your anus exposed to infections.

So if you want to have lots of sex, and casual sex, have ORAL sex. Anal sex should not be viewed as something that can happen casually. In a sense the hygienic needs of anal sex help distinguish it from something that can happen a lot, with different people, because anal sex SHOULD require a lot of preparation and premeditation beforehand.

J

[DÆMØN]

The KEY to Anal, is EDUCATE Yourself & Your Partners!
I highly recommend this book. Do your research and keep healthy.

Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men & Women
Jack Morin $25.25 Cdn.


From the Publisher
The definitive book on anal well-being and sexuality.
This is the first and only research-based guide for the millions of men and women, of all sexual orientations, who want to include the anal area in their erotic exploration. Updating his findings for the 21st century, author Jack Morin, Ph.D., explains how to replace negative emotions and beliefs about the anus with positive attitudes; how to simultaneously enjoy anal stimulation and promote anal wellness; how to know and communicate your requirements for satisfying anal experiences; and how to contribute to your own healing when you have medical problems.

"Absolutely indispensable. Buy two." Dan Savage, syndicated columnist, "Savage Love

"The bible of anal sanity...." Susie Bright, in Salon

"...detailed and thorough...irreverent and elegant." David E. Smith, M.D., founder/medical director, Haight Ashbury Free Clinics

Product Details:
# Paperback 288 pages (May 31, 2002)
# Publisher: Down There Press
# Language: English
# ISBN: 0940208202

[moonlitwish]

Mostly just wash...Course it's a good idea to do that if you think you're gonna get any at all...in any hole with anything lol. I shave sometimes too. Before my gf and I slept together the first time (which was not planned, but I don't take a lot of chances just in case lol) I shaved everything from the hips down...which was fine until it started growing back!

[wanderingrichard]

amen, daemon, thats the best book out here for self education concerning this topic.

also, johhny has laid out some good ideas. one being to use an enema beforehand, and to watch your diet carefully. yes, you should plan this out well in advance.

also, using a desensitizing lube to loosen up, and using lots of lube during [ can't stress this enough] helps reduce the possibility of a condom breaking. speaking of which, use good high quality ones, and be a bit judicious about how hard you pound away while having intercouse this way. even the best quality ones will tear when you are overly rough.

i've also found that wearing a but plug around the house helps minimize the "entry trauma" . especially if you are like i tend to be, and thats very tight. start with a nice slim one and work up in size gradually over the course of a few days or so..

most of all, as someone's little signature says, if it's a pain in the ass you're doing it wrong. stop right then and there and if you still want to explore this, try again later, with a different partner. not everyone is going to be a good fit for someone else.

again, most important thing to remember: educate yourself and take prudent precautions.
enjoy.
Rich

[Long Duck Dong]

lol... know thy body..... lol

one thing i notice with people is their lack of understanding about anal sex and things you can do to make it more pleasure.....

1 don't use soap if you shower just before it..... a body wash is far better, cleaner and your partner doesn't eat soap lol...also you can use ya finger in the shower to cause the musles to relax with a lil gentle massaging.... and that helps as you near the time for penetration

2 watch your diet.... a good diet will help you remain cleaner and far less likely to be messy... and cos you are regular.... your body will learn the difference between bowel movements and penis entry.... if you have your body learn that once a day bowel movement around the same time is normal.... you stand a better chance of it naturally relaxing before penetration

3 some peoples bodies relax in some positions better than others... learn about your positions....your bodies likes and dislikes and you will learn how to make penetration easier, more enjoyable and more pleasure for your partner

4 the anus can be one of the cleanest areas on the body..... make sure that you would be happy penetrating yourself before you ask somebody else to

[DÆMØN]

Heh, Sure am glad I'm not the only one who thinks education and planning ahead for best results is important esp. in this arena of play. I can't stress enough, " gloves " " gloves " " gloves " ; latex gloves, condoms and surgical ones heh. Fingrs can be rough digits, during the prep-play. Wearing latex gloves makes things smoother. .... oh ya .... and theres this thing called Hepetitis, theres three kinds....two of which you can be innocculated against, one you can't Hep: A,B,C. find out which ones.

[biwmtrucker44]

:male: good Hygiene b4 any type of sex is somthing I insiston as a truck driver the main way to hook up is over the cb radio and u never know what u r getting so I find other ways I don t like bad smells inclueding smoke. I have ofended several people including (ex) wife who smoked becouse it is such a turn off. :flag3:

[KevsBi]

Anal sex is not something I do everytime I am with a guy...its few and far between. For someone who is not experienced with anal, try this for your 'first' time:
Have the guy lay on his side with his legs slightly curved and pressed together; apply lube to his inner thighs right below his scrotum and put some on your penis if you like then insert your penis between his legs and go at it!
This may not be quite the same but the friction will be just as good and the intamcy will there as well (you will be able to feel his scrotum and penis touching yours as you slide in and out) :2cents:

[SABiguy]

...because I was traumatized by some early experiences in which I was the top and the bottom was messy.J

Sorry to hear that, bro. However, thank you for sharing that information along with the board here.

Mel

[citystyleguy]

cannot think why this is limited to only men and hygiene; damn, many women can be downright dirty and messy!

the best suggestion, is approach with caution, first impressions are very often right when general hygiene is in consideration (the short term approach);

when you are certain about the other as to cleanliness and proper hygiene; use a colonic regulary (NOT enemas; these are for strictly extended health needs and have no place here), dont use the anal/rectal area as a vagina, be slow, careful, thoughtful, and gentle!

cannot figure out why a women would want anal sex, it would be like sticking it up ones nose/ear, not much feeling in there!

now as for us guys! nature (keeping the prostrate healty) intended us for anal/rectal sex ONLY if it is done and focused in the right way; 1) it is the best means for a partner, especially a women, to control/direct a mans sexual progress (a better word?); 2) taken with all other aspects of a mans erotic "pulse" points, can deliver the most incredible sex for us guys; 3) teaches/trains a guy on focusing on their male partners needs not just their own; 4) and once done, makes vaginal-only sex pale in comparison (sorry, ladies!); be careful around vegetarians/vegans they have always seem to have the messiest anus/recutms.

just remember; clean is primary (helps make the shower/bath a shared experience); gentleness essential; lubricate with a superior product and always use a condom; find a well focused and experienced woman with a dildo, o god what sensation or a boyfriend with patience and knowledge; practice first with either a partner or alone using a butt plug that has a retrievable end (dont want to have to explain to the ER people why you have lost something up your ass!).

comes with experience; five boyfriends, four girlfriends, one wife, and several lovers.

[JohnnyV]

dont use the anal/rectal area as a vagina, be slow, careful, thoughtful, and gentle!
.

Good point! I have to admit, that's probaby why I'm not good at anal sex. I always want to be as forceful and energetic as I am when I'm inside a vagina...

J

[innaminka]

cannot figure out why a women would want anal sex, it would be like sticking it up ones nose/ear, not much feeling in there!


.

You are joking, aren't you???????? :flag2:

[Long Duck Dong]

innaminka....noticed that its a male talking about how females work ???
:tong:

[FireRaven]

<<cannot figure out why a women would want anal sex>>

Me either. Personally, I find the request insulting. If a man wants anal sex, get a boyfriend. :2cents:

Stay Amuzed!
Raven

[wanderingrichard]

wow, talk about a topic that has taken off ! seems we all agree it isn't for everyone, and that education and cleanliness is paramount. and, as always, we have varying degrees of opinion on other aspects. which should lead us into some lively debate.

lets hope we can continue this in such a well behaved manner.

[Mrs.F]

<<cannot figure out why a women would want anal sex>>

Me either. Personally, I find the request insulting. If a man wants anal sex, get a boyfriend. :2cents:

Stay Amuzed!
Raven

I used to think the same thing. Anal sex is gross, disgusting and why the hell would anyone want to stick something up their ass, let alone a cock. However, after learning what it feels like and how good it can feel, I've changed my mind. ;)
NO, it's not for everyone...but some of us women do enjoy it!

Mrs.F :)

[OralBradley]

Personally, I have never cared for anal sex, either giving or receiving. I find the rectal muscles too tight around my cock and I reach orgasm too quickly to really enjoy the exercise. Except for one notable exception, the times that I was fucked by a guy were far more painflu than pleasurable--I was simply unable to relax suffciently to enjoy.
Whether with a man or a woman, some anal play can be pleasurable and arousing, and I do fanitasize being fucked by a long, slim strap-on. Like other areas of the sking the anus has nerve endings that can be stimulated by gentle touching, and the prostate is definitely sensitive to massage.
That said, I have know women who hated the idea for receiving anal sex and others who enjoyed, or even preferred it of vaginal sex. I have no idea of the "why" of their preference. One friend in particular seemingly enjoyed and sought out partners to penetrate both her anus and her vagina simultaneously. I found the sensation of feeling another man's cock rubbing against mine through the thin separation of her vaginal and colonic walls very exciting, and she quite apparently enjoyed the exercise because she repeated the process with others at least once more that evening.
Why do we enjoy any sexual act. There are some that I find repulsive and reject out of hand and other that I seek out as truly pleasurable. The range of human sexual pleasure is very wide and varied.

[innaminka]

<<cannot figure out why a women would want anal sex>>

Me either. Personally, I find the request insulting. If a man wants anal sex, get a boyfriend. :2cents:

Stay Amuzed!
Raven

Far from insulting ..... its complimentary.
And I offer him my bottom.
Its not a case of him "wanting" it. I want it. :female:

[DGoncz]

Anal sex is all about fiber, and timing.

Eating lots of insoluble fiber gives the intestinal contents bulk, and eating lots of soluble fiber gives them lubrication. Both are essential for colonic health ( I know, I had my polypectomy without anesthesia ), but make for messy anal sex. Meat and vegetable eaters have the dense, lubricated stools that make anal sex easiest. The meat makes for a low-bulk stool, and the veg lubricates it. Grain eaters (think bran flakes) who eat vegetables and fruits have fluffy, farm-animal-like stools that can make anal sex a challenge. Remember the function of the colon is to recover the water and electrolytes in your diet, so you don't dehydrate or get an imbalance.

That said, I find that one or two standard 5 ounce enemas of tap water, not retained for long, is all I need to be ready for anal whoopie, and I recall a time that simply sitting on the toilet to pass any "surprises" found with finger penetration would be enough. Everybody's different, your mileage _will_ vary. That's one after the other, not both enemas at once. The 5 ounce (133ml) size is just enough to rinse the average rectum. You just repeat until nothing comes out but water.

I love the way "If you want anal sex, get a boyfriend" is written. It's a "you" statement. The corresponding "I" statement might be "If you want anal sex with me, get a boyfriend instead," or just "I don't like anal sex." It makes sense, but some men just like oral sex, so....

My two cents. It's no big deal if you think it through, but like a trip to the beach, it can go bad on ya if you don't have the supplies. :)

[CountryLover]

My first experience with anal sex was as a 17 yr old with my 17 yr old equally inexperienced boyfriend. It hurt like Hell on Fire. I was impaled on flaming torches and decided this was an experience I NEVER wanted to repeat again. At his insistence I tried it about 5 more times and said NEVER AGAIN.

Fast forward about 25 years, and I met my lover who also enjoyed anal sex. The first time with him, the sun exploded! Incredible orgasm that made us both pass out. :tong:

Since then, I've enjoyed it - CAREFULLY - with selected lovers. Instead of thinking a woman would never enjoy anal sex, just remember that the whole perineum area is crammed with nerve endings in both sexes.

As for hygiene, knowing your own body is of primary importance. There have been some excellent suggestions about enemas, colonics and diet. My experiences have always been unplanned, but I know my body well enough to know when it's okay.

[JohnnyV]

I'm glad folksa have gotten all these great tips. But I would like to hear more references to safe sex too. Please remember that anal sex is by far the most dangerous activity when two men are having sex. Not only has HIV been rising rather than falling among Men who Haev Sex with Men, but also, there have been outbreaks of syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and new bacterial diseases, among gay and bi men.

As you watch your diet, rinse your bowels, and lube yourself up, also PLEASE premeditate anal sex enough to use a condom. Remember that condoms break much more often in anal sex than in vaginal sex too, so that lubrication and proper muscle relaxation are not only good for pleasure, but also, for your protection against HIV. Condoms will break if youre not loose enough. Even with the best condom, you shouldn't have anal sex with high-risk partners or people you don't know -- instead do frottage or oral.

Lastly, I haven't seen that much discussion of the necessary conversations between the top and bottom prior to anal sex. A lot of the preparation for this sex act has to be frank and open discussion between the two men to engage in it. You should know all about the other guy's sexual history, including when he was last tested for HIV and how active he's been recently. You should know whether he screws hard or gentle, etc. Do anal sex with a road map, and avoid danger signs.

J

[citystyleguy]

well, at least this site generates responses! as to those that tartly responded to my statement regarding women and anal sex, lord help me, lighthen up! dont be so uptight! it is as much a question as a statement; enlighten me as well as everyone else!!! yeah, youre right i am a guy talking about a women; so what? is that taboo, can women not talk about men as well, or women talk about another women, etc.!

guys have prostrates, prostrates respond to massage, and when anal sex is done right it will be hard to keep his attention focused elsewhere. so now, enlighten all of us as to why a women responds to anal sex.

as to the statement regarding men4men and anal sex, dont do the usual heavy on the dangers being centered only there. be careful with stats, they are more dangerous than lies, and can be manipulated with ease to support any and all subjects.

straights (in particular, male straights) are responsible for more spreading of sexually related dieseases than any other identifiable group; that shouldnt be of any surprise.

the best bet when intimate; know thy partner; practice safe sex when with them, and explore all types of the erotic arts!

bye for now!

[CountryLover]

Words of Wisdom JohnnyV....I hope everyone heard him well.

Even if there are no STD's present, it's still quite possible to share some lingering bacteria and end up with a nasty infection.

So glove it guys!

[woolleygirl]

We have all heard the saying NO GLOVE NO LOVE so you horny guys take care please this is your health here were are talking about. For me I love anal so I have been following Jonnys advice on diet. Well I think anal is wonderful but at times messy so we have been laying off of it here and there but I think Jonny that your way will make it better maybe a little more action here :devil:.

T

[slaphappypud]

dont use the anal/rectal area as a vagina, be slow, careful, thoughtful, and gentle!

cannot figure out why a women would want anal sex, it would be like sticking it up ones nose/ear, not much feeling in there!



I just have to pick out the parts I disagree with!
First, when it comes to anal, both my wife and I really enjoy a good pounding!
Yes, sometimes we like it easy, but usually it's the full throttle, all the way out and back in kind of sex.
Second point, we also both agree there is NOTHING like the orgasm that you get from anal. Most of the time that's what she wants and what we do.

[FerociousFeline]

Plan plan plan. When you anticipate it's occurence, you eat soup the day BEFORE. If you are in reasonably good shape, you can tell what state your body is in. If you are having a "fat" day.....reconsider. It's best when you are having a "thin" day. Wash well, but stay away from perfumy soaps. I prefer a salt scrub with sesemee <sp?> and almond oil. Make sure you are sufficently hydrated at least 24hrs in advance. Make sure you have twice as much glide and condoms as you'll need. Have a collection of dedicated towels used specifically for that purpose. Lay them out in pattern of 3. (have 9) Remove any soiled towels immediately and replace with fresh towel. Douching prior can be a good or bad thing depending on what with, how much, how often. Best to experiment and learn what works best with your body. But mostly, just learn to listen to your body and it will let you know when it's a good time and when it's not. Sometimes, it's best not to cross it even though you REALLY had other plans.

FF

[Herbwoman39]

Even if there are no STD's present, it's still quite possible to share some lingering bacteria and end up with a nasty infection.

So glove it guys!

Along with protecting from STDs, a condom gives added lube and helps with any mess.

As others have said, anal isn't for everybody but I do enjoy it occasionally. The feeling is incredible! There is more sensitivity there, in my opinion, than there is in the vagina. And if you're with someone who knows what they're doing, it can be an incredible experience.

[deremarc]

I always practice exceptionally good hygiene everywhere anyway. Unclean people are a major turn off for me. But, I only have anal sex when I "know" I am clean. A good shower, sometimes an enema if I am worried a bit. Every once in awhile though, with finger penetration, I can tell that this is Not the time. We just switch to something else (thank god I have an anus and a vagina ;) ).

Good anal sex hinges largely on the person you are with. Less thick dicks are much easier to handle, to get in...but my guy is exceptionally thick...and he loves anal. We planned well beforehand the first time...much talking and getting ready. The hornier I am and having good foreplay, makes me more relaxed. But, he will still have to start to enter and sometimes just hold there (which is incredibly hard for him...the tightness there sends him over the edge) and wait for me to breathe, relax.."stretching" the anus first helps...one finger, then 2, then 3. Or having him use a vibrator makes penetration much easier.

I will have to take the diet into account, but in all the times we have done this in the past 1 1/2 years, I have only had one time that there was anything at all...and it was partly blood from tearing...he is normally gentle, but we were both so wound up we ended up going at it pretty hard, which I think is what caused the little bit of a mess. At the risk of being too graphic...I think him pounding that hard and deep is what caused it. Leaving his eyes closed, and washing him gently with a warm soapy washcloth...and we were back in business...or, erm, in the shower...and then in business.

As for why women like it...I would say for me (and I don't think I am a sub or into s&m) somehow the pain makes it more intense, and also very bonding for us...(he really appreciates the fact that I will do it even if it hurts somewhat...it makes him feel very wanted and loved...which then, in turn, is transmitted to me.). Knowing I am giving him something he wants so much turns me on in a major way. I can feel more love for me emanating from him at times like that. It makes me feel very special. And I have major orgasms that way. Nerve endings? I don't know the physical reasons why..and honestly I don't care--I just love it!!! And it makes me feel very much as if I belong to him at that time. I can also feel what he calls "the little girl in the canoe" growing into a bigger girl...lol. My own little mini erection. (and I can feel that right away...as soon as he enters me). I also "squirt" (if that is the term) and only during sex with me on top or anal. So, we have towels under us for a very different reason...kind of hard sometimes to find a spot that is NOT wet to lay in afterwards.

[Nate9]

be careful around vegetarians/vegans they have always seem to have the messiest anus/recutms.

i'm not sure what experience you're basing that on, but though I hate to admit it (because it makes me sound like a dick,) i'm actually slightly offended by that generalisation. I can understand how that would be true of someone who literally just ate vegetables, but the vast majority of vegans/vegetarians eat tofu or other synthesized/processed proteins as part of the diet. These serve the same function in stools as animal proteins do for omnivores. Also, not eating red meat is very much beneficial for digestive health and greatly reduces the risk of bowel cancer and other complications. Vegetarians/vegans also smell a lot less, as rotting plant matter isn't nearly as pungent as rotting flesh. Think about it, compare a dog shit and a cow shit, dog shit is waaaay worse.

So yes, it's possible that those who don't eat meat might need to do a little extra preparation in certain circumstances, but i would very seriously doubt that such a sweeping generalisation is grounded in reality.

YAY :tongue:

[AubergineCow]

Ok, I must be the only one who's vegan here, so I'll just say that I was a little horked off at the insults to vegans:

1) I do NOT have fluffy "farm animal poos" thank you very much. They are quite "normal" in size texture and appearance. A *balanced* vegan diet lends itself VERY well to colo-rectal health and regularity, and unlike eating meat, does not promote colo-rectal cancer. To each their own, and I am NOT saying one diet is worse/better than another, or disrespecting any other person't choices vis a vis what/how/who to eat...

2)" be careful around vegetarians/vegans they have always seem to have the messiest anus/recutms." (The original was underlined, no less!) Are you kidding me??? What are you implying here? That vegans all forget how to wipe their asses, wash themselves or observe the other niceties of hygene the minute all the meat leaves their system? That one needs a ton of cholesterol in their blood stream before they remember what Charmin is for? Sorry to disillusion you, but again, speaking FOR ME, my nether regions are ALL kept as clean and sweet and pink as possible. I have had anal sex with partners both herbivorous and omniverous and found NO relation between what they ate and how clean they kept themselves - I've seen messy meatasaurs and clean veggiesaurs, and vice-versa...

It hurt to see those statements go unchallenged by anyone...now comes the part where I get told to "toughen up" or "lighten up", I suppose, but geez...read those two statements above again but substitute "bisexual" for "vegan" ....ignorant blanket statements like those do no one a favor...

I'm sorry if someone had a bad experience with a vegan being anally unclean, but that no more makes all vegans rectal pariahs than having a bisexual break someone's heart therefore means all bisexuals are cold unfeeling jerks...

Ok, hopping off the soapbox now that I've added my
:2cents: and if anyone actually read all this, my thanks.

[tommyswing]

One of the ways a get around the messyness, is to have the guy not pull out right away. As he gets soft I ease his cock out of the condom and then am able to clean up in the bathroom