Insisting on bareback

[Bi209]

I've been bicurious for awhile and finally decided to give in and try it out.The couple of men I've talked with have been insistent on topping me bareback.I refused and told them to protection then no play...never heard from them again.I do want to try out being with a guy but not at the risk of catching something that can't be cured.So why is the topping unprotected that important to guys?Again I'm new to all of this so any input or advice is greatly appreciated.

[Diva667]

I've been bicurious for awhile and finally decided to give in and try it out.The couple of men I've talked with have been insistent on topping me bareback.I refused and told them to protection then no play...never heard from them again.I do want to try out being with a guy but not at the risk of catching something that can't be cured.So why is the topping unprotected that important to guys?Again I'm new to all of this so any input or advice is greatly appreciated.

I think it's the same deal with unprotected PIV, they want what they want and if you aren't willing to give it to them they're gone.

FWIW If they aren't willing to wear a condom they arent worth your time. One night of sex isn't worth a lifetime of misery.

[eddy10]

I agree. Have only safe sex, especially when you do not know the partner VERY well.

[bigbadmax]

Dont ever give into the selfish b*****ds.
They are probably pandas (eats,shoots and leaves) no STI is ever worth it!

[Bi209]

Thank you for the replies and there's no way I'm gonna try it without having my partner wrapped.I've just been looking forward to trying new things and then having to deal with this was rather puzzling.I'm definately not looking for a panda...thank you all again!

[jimdawg]

I would outright say its selfishness. Its much easier getting disease being penetrated than penetrating. Mind you its possible to get disease either way, but you have to ask yourself, are you more likely to get small cuts and tears with something going inside of you or by going inside of someone else, which are portals for disease?

[Gearbox]

NEVER agree to ANYTHING that your not comfortable doing.

People who insist on BB are rare in my experience. You may be targeted by them because you state that your new to m-m sex.

[Jobelorocks]

Unfortunately you can't trust people out there and doing anything without protection can be life threatening. It is so selfish for people to push that sort of thing.

[LastGent]

Bi209, I always consider anti-condom people walking corpses. Some people ask "what is it with men and asking for directions?", well, I also ask "what is it with men and wearing condoms?" Despite all the adequate safe-sex information around, some men have bizarre ideas about what 'safe' is. Just three years ago this guy who was attracted to me said he (verbatim) "cannot use a condom", never explaining why, but he believed that being circumcised and prohibiting anal penetration either way made one immune to sexual diseases. Of course, in his wild youth, he engaged in anal sex, but he refused to get tested for any STDs. He really freaked out my hormones, but hearing all that made my woody jump off and crawl under the bench whimpering. I have no luck.

[elian]

"Insisting on bareback..."

Umm .. "No" period.

I don't care who you are, if you INSIST on anything with sex I don't agree with then it just ain't happenin'. Sorry buddy, there's always your hand to play with..

Wait until you find a decent guy who respects your opinion and your health. I would completely understand if a guy wanted to use, or wanted me to use a condom - it's not THAT bad..geesh. If not, then the risky behavior stops, period.

There are a lot of things in this world you can do without but if you don't have your health then you really ARE poor..no amount of pleasure is worth that.

[jimisbi]

I have to agree with all of the above advice. As much as I like a bareback cock in me, no one gets into me bareback unless we've known each other long enough that he can prove to me that he's STI/STD free. A disease just isn't worth the risk. As other have said, anyone that insists on barebacking when you're not comfortable with it is just being a self self-indulgent b*****d.

[Bi209]

Thank you everyone for your replies and advice to my post!I've always considered protection a necessary thing and you all have reinforced that for me..again many thanks to you all!

[bityme]

I've been bicurious for awhile and finally decided to give in and try it out.The couple of men I've talked with have been insistent on topping me bareback.I refused and told them to protection then no play...never heard from them again.I do want to try out being with a guy but not at the risk of catching something that can't be cured.So why is the topping unprotected that important to guys?Again I'm new to all of this so any input or advice is greatly appreciated.


Can't say I've never done it. Barebacking was a common practice in the 70s when we played almost exclusively with couples they we had developed long lasting relationships with. Once AIDS hit the news, that all changed.

Today, if someone wants to bareback, not only do I tell them NO, but I cross them off the list even for protected sex. If I know they are out there playing Russian Roulette with their loaded gun, I'm not going to take any chances that might bring my fantastic sex like to a halt.

You made the right decision to refuse.

Pappy

[drugstore cowboy]

Can't say I've never done it. Barebacking was a common practice in the 70s when we played almost exclusively with couples they we had developed long lasting relationships with. Once AIDS hit the news, that all changed.

Today, if someone wants to bareback, not only do I tell them NO, but I cross them off the list even for protected sex. If I know they are out there playing Russian Roulette with their loaded gun, I'm not going to take any chances that might bring my fantastic sex like to a halt.

You made the right decision to refuse.

Pappy

Why are people on this site so Poz phobic?

You can have protected sex with someone who is HIV+ and you're not going to get infected with HIV as long as they use a condom correctly and it doesn't break.

There are tons of low or zero risk things you can do during sex that you're NOT going to get infected with HIV from doing.

If you're sexually active with men and women you've probably already had sex with someone who is HIV+ but they either didn't know it or lied about it.

Bi209-You could just have sex with them, tell them how you don't want to do it raw or bare but make them use condoms and have safer sex.

[bityme]

Why are people on this site so Poz phobic?

You can have protected sex with someone who is HIV+ and you're not going to get infected with HIV as long as they use a condom correctly and it doesn't break.

There are tons of low or zero risk things you can do during sex that you're NOT going to get infected with HIV from doing.

If you're sexually active with men and women you've probably already had sex with someone who is HIV+ but they either didn't know it or lied about it.

Bi209-You could just have sex with them, tell them how you don't want to do it raw or bare but make them use condoms and have safer sex.

Neither the original post nor my reply addressed the issue of someone who was POZ and let you know. That is a completely different issue. Openly POZ individuals, in my experience, have been more than willing to use protection and/or limit their activities.

My response was in relation to a question about barebackers who, in my experience, generally don't care, don't get tested regularly, and since they don't like condoms are less likely to be careful with their use. In my humble opinion, these individuals pose a much greater risk than someone who is POZ, lets you know, and takes pains to ensure their activities are as safe as possible for their non-POZ partners.

I don't consider my position to be POZ phobic.

Pappy

[BiDaveDtown]

Neither the original post nor my reply addressed the issue of someone who was POZ and let you know. That is a completely different issue. Openly POZ individuals, in my experience, have been more than willing to use protection and/or limit their activities.

My response was in relation to a question about barebackers who, in my experience, generally don't care, don't get tested regularly, and since they don't like condoms are less likely to be careful with their use. In my humble opinion, these individuals pose a much greater risk than someone who is POZ, lets you know, and takes pains to ensure their activities are as safe as possible for their non-POZ partners.

I don't consider my position to be POZ phobic.

Pappy

That's not always true about people who are POZ, they are not always honest about having HIV, don't always practice safer sex, and while they may at times be honest about having HIV many HIV+ people are only into barebacking and allow their sexual partner(s) decide if they want to use condoms and have safer sex or not.

I can't tell you the number of bisexual and gay men I know who have had sex with women and men who are HIV+ and they were told that the other person is HIV+ or learned this after they had unprotected sex with the HIV+ person/people and even before sex when they asked the person if they were HIV neg the person said how they are neg.

I know people who are HIV+ and have been for decades and they bareback a lot and swallow a lot of cum in one night or get gang fucked a lot all bareback and they don't use condoms at all when giving anal sex or vaginal sex.

Many of these people also work for HIV/AIDS educational non-profit orgs and tell people to "always use a condom and have safer sex" but don't do this in their private life at all.

[jamieknyc]

In general it is just an unreasonable risk. Why take chances with something that could be fatal?