Honest opinion on a bi hubby

[HzyJD]

My hubby is bi and I have questions. I know he has several issues with coming out such as he thinks he'll be disowned by his dad and brother (which I can see quite clearly). Also, he's had several bad experiences with his M2M in the past (one was a gang rape). I see why he would be happy to bury his attraction as deep as possible.

My question is, there are several sexual acts that I think are 'standard' if you are attracted to a woman such as oral and using fingers or other implements! Can you tell me if you think it's strange that my husband does not have any interaction with my vagina apart from penetration?

I thought if someone was sexually attracted to a woman (whether they also be attracted to a man) they would like normal sexual MF acts or at least be open to doing what their female partner would like them to do. He's well aware of my wants.

I don't want to push him if he's not prepared to go there. I just wanted to know if there are any other bi guys that are particular about the sexual acts they will perform on their female partner.

[cplpleaser]

I am bi and thouroughly enjoy any and all contact with a vigina. Manual, oral and penetration. That is my preference. Have you tried discussing this withyour hubby? He may have other issues with sex you are not aware of. One would think he would still want to please you in any way possible unless he has a problem personally with manual or oral vaginal contact.

[Jobelorocks]

This is a hard one to answer, because everyone is different. He may be gay, he may be bi..... Some straight guys I know just don't like being that up close and personal with a vagina. Most of the issues I have heard is the smell and taste of the vagina. This may it, but it may be something else. I suggest you ask him why he doesn't want to perform these actions. Who knows it may be something you can work with him on.

[HzyJD]

He told me that in the past he gave a girl oral and got a mouthful of some very unpleasant stuff. I'm sure that would turn anyone off but I've had bad sex in my life, that hasn't turned me off sex for good.

I suppose I'm really trying to determine whether he's gay. I've been told that one big sign that a man is gay is that they won't *go near* a pussy...

[Jobelorocks]

Well this sounds like he has a very typical response many people have with giving a female oral sex. It doesn't necessarily mean he is gay. I wouldn't make assumptions. My husband use to be very hesitant with giving me oral sex, but we have talked and worked on it and now I get it on a regular basis. I would give it some time, talking, and try to be understanding. Everyone reacts differently to their experiences.

[cplpleaser]

I agree with the last comment. One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch.

[harleybi]

I agree that you should not jump to conclusions. On the flip side I love going down on my wife but she has a mental issue with it. Some asshole in her past made a rude comment and she has been worried that it smells or isn't clean ever since. Your mind can make or prevent you from liking almost anything. Just talk to him and go slow but the most important part is to be honest with each other.

[cplpleaser]

I think the common theme here is communication. Hope it works out.

[EastCoastKelly]

This is the EXACT issue I have with my husband.

He says he is bi and not gay. I can accept bi, truly. If he likes men and women great but I do wonder sometimes if he is in fact gay and its because he doesn't do oral to me (and he loves to give oral to a man) and he doesn't have anything to do with my vagina except penetration too! My hubby also has had a bad m2m experience as an adolescent and he would be happy to bury his attraction as deep as possible also. Obviously he can't do that though, it's there.

Actually, even when were having sex, his sex talk is all about his cock if you know what I mean.

So I am believing that he is bi but it has been hanging around this forum that has made me wonder if he really is bi. Guys here talk all the time about licking pussy, other female parts, men and women together... and how much they enjoy it. MY husband does not even say the word pussy. He'll say "you like my big cock... etc." while he's doing it.

Another thing, he likes to look at pictures of naked men but has never clicked on a picture of a naked/hot woman.

Like I said, he says he's bi and I'd like to believe him but these few nagging little issues have put a seed of doubt in my mind.

We have sex often and I always cum, but I wish he'd get up close and personal and enjoy going down on me!

[Jobelorocks]

My hubby is bi and I have questions. I know he has several issues with coming out such as he thinks he'll be disowned by his dad and brother (which I can see quite clearly). Also, he's had several bad experiences with his M2M in the past (one was a gang rape). I see why he would be happy to bury his attraction as deep as possible.

My question is, there are several sexual acts that I think are 'standard' if you are attracted to a woman such as oral and using fingers or other implements! Can you tell me if you think it's strange that my husband does not have any interaction with my vagina apart from penetration?

I thought if someone was sexually attracted to a woman (whether they also be attracted to a man) they would like normal sexual MF acts or at least be open to doing what their female partner would like them to do. He's well aware of my wants.

I don't want to push him if he's not prepared to go there. I just wanted to know if there are any other bi guys that are particular about the sexual acts they will perform on their female partner.


This is the EXACT issue I have with my husband.

He says he is bi and not gay. I can accept bi, truly. If he likes men and women great but I do wonder sometimes if he is in fact gay and its because he doesn't do oral to me (and he loves to give oral to a man) and he doesn't have anything to do with my vagina except penetration too!

Actually, even when were having sex, his sex talk is all about his cock if you know what I mean.

So I am believing that he is bi but it has been hanging around this forum that has made me wonder if he really is bi. Guys here talk all the time about licking pussy, other female parts, men and women together... and how much they enjoy it. MY husband does not even say the word pussy. He'll say "you like my big cock... etc." while he's doing it.

Another thing, he likes to look at pictures of naked men but has never clicked on a picture of a naked/hot woman.

Like I said, he says he's bi so I'm going to believe him but these few nagging little issues have put a seed of doubt in my mind.

We have sex often and I always cum, but I wish he'd get up close and personal and enjoy going down on me!

There is another possibility that came to mind. Maybe they may be bisexuals who have a stronger attraction to men.

[EastCoastKelly]

There is another possibility that came to mind. Maybe they may be bisexuals who have a stronger attraction to men.

Could be in my case although he will deny that's true. He also says he is not attracted to a relationship with men. He doesn't want to cuddle or kiss or have a boyfriend. He wants to suck cock and jerk off with other men. He said he loves me, loves having sex with me and wants to play with men but I'm just saying the same thing as the OP. If he is bi, shouldn't he be more interested in pussy?

[EastCoastKelly]

I just want to add that he doesn't avoid sex with me, he also always cums (though we almost always finish doggy style), and he says he is attracted to me. It's what he doesn't do or say that is the tricky part.




I suppose I'm really trying to determine whether he's gay. I've been told that one big sign that a man is gay is that they won't *go near* a pussy...

Me too. But I really do love him, I want to trust him and maybe this is an issue with *me* but it's there and that's why I'm here! :D I'm trying to figure out my husband. We are always talking but what if on this one issue he is not being honest with himself or me?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

What about getting him to play with you with vibrating toys? Those And a cock can be Quite pleasurable, Hon. Give it a shot. Talk to him and see if he would be open to it..:}
Cat

[Jobelorocks]

Could be in my case although he will deny that's true. He also says he is not attracted to a relationship with men. He doesn't want to cuddle or kiss or have a boyfriend. He wants to suck cock and jerk off with other men. He said he loves me, loves having sex with me and wants to play with men but I'm just saying the same thing as the OP. If he is bi, shouldn't he be more interested in pussy?

Well you have to keep in mind that there are different kinds of attractions in bisexuals and they are generally at different levels. There is emotional/romantic attraction and sexual attraction. Maybe he is more sexually attracted to men and more romantically attracted to women. I am attracted to both sexes sexually, but only attracted to men romantically. That is me, but there are different types of bisexuals that are attracted to men and women on totally different levels and totally different ways.

[EastCoastKelly]

What about getting him to play with you with vibrating toys? Those And a cock can be Quite pleasurable, Hon. Give it a shot. Talk to him and see if he would be open to it..:}
Cat

Actually, he just suggested that last night! I'd probably love it. :bigrin:


Well you have to keep in mind that there are different kinds of attractions in bisexuals and they are generally at different levels. There is emotional/romantic attraction and sexual attraction. Maybe he is more sexually attracted to men and more romantically attracted to women. I am attracted to both sexes sexually, but only attracted to men romantically. That is me, but there are different types of bisexuals that are attracted to men and women on totally different levels and totally different ways.

I'm trying to keep that in mind. I get a bit jealous when I read the threads on here and some of the guys are drooling over eating a woman out. sigh.

[Jobelorocks]

Actually, he just suggested that last night! I'd probably love it. :bigrin:



I'm trying to keep that in mind. I get a bit jealous when I read the threads on here and some of the guys are drooling over eating a woman out. sigh.

Happy to hear that he wants to use toys. Unfortunately, not all men drool at the thought of eating out a woman. I know mine does it solely for my pleasure. I hope that one day he will get to the point where he will give you oral sex.

[chub-bi]

I love going down on both men and women. I guess I'm an oralsexual.

Making my partners cum with my mouth is my greatest pleasure.

I do however know a few straight guys that are revolted by the thought of

going down on a woman.

One of my friends literally runs out of the room when I describe the joys of

Eating pussy.

[Jobelorocks]

My boyfriend before my husband would not consider giving me oral saying that the vagina smells and tastes like "warm tuna". Honestly what I did is refused to give him oral unless he gave it to me first, so he never got it until I did. Call that passive aggressive, but it got the point across.

[chub-bi]

My boyfriend before my husband would not consider giving me oral saying that the vagina smells and tastes like "warm tuna". Honestly what I did is refused to give him oral unless he gave it to me first, so he never got it until I did. Call that passive aggressive, but it got the point across.

I guess I'm lucky to be a fisherman.

Nothing beat the taste of a freshly caught and grilled tuna steak.

[Jobelorocks]

I guess I'm lucky to be a fisherman.

Nothing beat the taste of a freshly caught and grilled tuna steak.

lol... too funny.

[EastCoastKelly]

Ok guys, now your making me jealous! I would love those words to come from my husband! :tong::tong:

[Seanrtn]

I am bi and enjoy any contact with my wife especially going down on her and slipping a finger or two in. I do have a friend, who is bi as well, has been married almost 30 years, has a great relationship with his wife, but he will not go down on her, he hates it. Guess what I am saying is that if everything else is emotionally and sexually gratifying in your relationship it may just be his personal preference. Good luck and always have open communication with him.

My hubby is bi and I have questions. I know he has several issues with coming out such as he thinks he'll be disowned by his dad and brother (which I can see quite clearly). Also, he's had several bad experiences with his M2M in the past (one was a gang rape). I see why he would be happy to bury his attraction as deep as possible.

My question is, there are several sexual acts that I think are 'standard' if you are attracted to a woman such as oral and using fingers or other implements! Can you tell me if you think it's strange that my husband does not have any interaction with my vagina apart from penetration?

I thought if someone was sexually attracted to a woman (whether they also be attracted to a man) they would like normal sexual MF acts or at least be open to doing what their female partner would like them to do. He's well aware of my wants.

I don't want to push him if he's not prepared to go there. I just wanted to know if there are any other bi guys that are particular about the sexual acts they will perform on their female partner.

[Realist]

Jobel and Kelly,

I wonder if your men know how wonderful it is to have a lady who understands them, accepts them, and is willing to allow them to explore their desires? Still, you have needs and desires that should be met, too. Often, things that may not seem pleasing to perform on your lover, at first. But having the courage to at least try them, may open up new and very exciting pleasures for them, too!

In some ways I can see a younger me in their actions. My relationships with others changed for the better, when I was 21, after I spent about 18 months with an older bisexual lady. She had the guts and willpower to make me confront my inability to try new things with those I cared for.

In my experiences, girls often know more about what they want and how to get it, than guys do. You may have to take things in your own hands and provide some incentive to explore a little!

I have often thanked the lady, who got me out of my shell, because my ability to please lovers noticeably improved, after I was forced to take some lessons!

[Jobelorocks]

Jobel and Kelly,

I wonder if your men know how wonderful it is to have a lady who understands them, accepts them, and is willing to allow them to explore their desires? Still, you have needs and desires that should be met, too. Often, things that may not seem pleasing to perform on your lover, at first. But having the courage to at least try them, may open up new and very exciting pleasures for them, too!

In some ways I can see a younger me in their actions. My relationships with others changed for the better, when I was 21, after I spent about 18 months with an older bisexual lady. She had the guts and willpower to make me confront my inability to try new things with those I cared for.

In my experiences, girls often know more about what they want and how to get it, than guys do. You may have to take things in your own hands and provide some incentive to explore a little!

I have often thanked the lady, who got me out of my shell, because my ability to please lovers noticeably improved, after I was forced to take some lessons!

My man does explore... as I said in an earlier post my husband doesn't particularly like going down on me, but does because I enjoy it. My husband does meet my fantasies and has tried many things as I try things I am not particularly that fond of. When I talked about a bf that wouldn't do it, it was a bf who is long gone.

[hillcobicpl]

I have been married for almost 20 years and recently came out to my wife. I was curious about MM play for many years before I told my wife my desires. I am attracted to her romantically, emotionally, and physically. I enjoy her body including going down on her. Like other parts of the body the pussy can be "rank" when it's not clean. When her pussy is freshly showered and she first becomes aroused sexually the smell and taste of her pussy is wonderful. I once had an orgasm from going down on her. That's how much I like giving her oral pleasure. I also have a friend that is bi and I enjoy sucking his cock to completion and swallowing his load. Although she tastes much better than he does I really enjoy giving both oral. I enjoy the pleasure they get from my going down on them.

I'm not an expert in sexual orientation or desires. However, in my opinion, if a guy doesn't enjoy pussy enough to play with it or smell/lick/taste it then, in all likelyhood, they are gay. That's just my opinion. That and $2.50 will buy you a cup of coffee.

[Jobelorocks]

I'm not an expert in sexual orientation or desires. However, in my opinion, if a guy doesn't enjoy pussy enough to play with it or smell/lick/taste it then, in all likelyhood, they are gay. That's just my opinion. That and $2.50 will buy you a cup of coffee.

I would say I don't really agree with that... many strictly straight guys won't go down on women even when they are clean. I have gone down on women and I enjoy it, I don't like the taste, but I don't mind that much. I think some people are just selfish or much more sensitive to smell or taste. Who knows, maybe I am wrong, but I don't think it is right to assume someone is gay because they don't like performing oral sex on a woman.

[HzyJD]

Thanx for your posts!
Kelly, it's good to know there's someone else out there working through this. I love my husband, I accept that he likes sex with men and we talk about it fairly regularly. It's taken a bit of prodding but he's opened up to me and realizes we need to communicate.
I suppose I wanted to know if there were non-gay men that didn't like going down on a woman which some have answered I suppose. Maybe it's another one of those myths that goes around.
Funny thing is I've had FF, MFF & MMF sex in the past and loved it! Hubby has watched me get a lap dance and has told me he'd love to see me with a woman. I should really be less uptight about it all.
I believe the sooner he fully accepts himself and we become comfortable within our relationship, the better we will both feel. I've read so many stories of regret, cheating & lying, wishing you'd done differently etc, I don't want my hubby to go through any of that.

[Gearbox]

I had a gf who would NOT suck me off. She forced herself to lick it once (God bless her!), but that was THAT!:(
She'd even wank me off at arms length when I was about to cum. No probs with me eating and fucking her though.
YES! The words "K.D. Lang" did spring to mind.:rolleyes:

@ HzyJD - IMHO I would suspect your husband of fantasising about other men while penetrating you.
That maybe way off, but that's what I'd suspect (similar to that gf).

[HzyJD]

@ HzyJD - IMHO I would suspect your husband of fantasising about other men while penetrating you.
That maybe way off, but that's what I'd suspect (similar to that gf).

Do you think your opinion would change if I told you I'd seen him get hard when we've watched straight porn or had casual chats about me doing another woman?

It's so confusing. I do see him get aroused by the female form but then I think to myself, maybe he's just doing that to keep up appearances.

I just don't want him to be untrue to himself. I can handle bi but if he is gay I really think he should be able to accept himself and live true to himself. I don't want to give myself to someone for the rest of my life that has to fantasize about someone of the same sex to enjoy being with me.

[aheatseeker]

how about wash the kitty real good or let him wash it real good and then give it to mikey to eat. ive been with a few women and bi couples where i could smell the woman across the room and she didnt have her panties off yet. ugh. nothing is a worse turn off and a good chance to bring up my breakfast. so i always ask about being clean and i put my finger in to check smell test. not everyone is on same level of hygiene. :bigrin:

[tenni]

HzyJD
I find it interesting that you see yourself as bisexual but are doubting that your husband is bisexual. You suspect that he is gay because he doesn't like giving you oral. It isn't that long ago when giving a woman oral sex was not a norm or expectation. There was not open discussion in polite societies to even discuss this. I don't know how many men say back in the 50's actually did perform oral sex or not but it was not a topic of conversation. Do you think that guys back then who didn't talk or perform oral sex were gay?

I suspect that there is either more behind your concern about the sexuality of your husband than you are stating or you are the one with an issue here.

[elian]

That's one of the most confusing things about being bisexual, everyone makes the assumption that it just means you "double your chances for getting lucky" but in reality that's not necessarily true. I grew up believing you were either straight or gay, and that everyone I knew thought it was wrong and disgusting to be gay. Unfortunately I base more of my self-worth on what other people think at times. It is really confusing for me to like guys, be all about the sausage one minute and then also get aroused watching a woman pleasuring herself. That doesn't sound so bad, until you throw in that I'm more romantically attracted to guys and I've always thought of women more as sisters. Plus baggage from the past in terms of sexual experience could also play a role.

The first time a woman let me experiment I wanted to try oral but it was a bit intimidating and there was a bit of a taste I didn't care for as much as just holding her in my arms. I wish she would have said anything at all about what SHE wanted instead of just assuming I knew (or should I say, maybe she was just letting me explore).. People don't come with instruction manuals and unfortunately I'm kind of a technically minded guy.

If we were more serious and I knew that is what she really wanted I would have worked to try and please her orally. Personally, I like using fingers a lot more but it's not my body.

[HzyJD]

Tenni, I'm not questioning the existence of bisexuality, I know myself that it exists. I'm questioning whether knowing my husband's background and this particular behavior, would it suggest that he may be gay. Also we have talked about many and varied sexual acts over our time together and both of us have had 'more than average' number of sexual partners so I don't think it's a matter of it not being proper.
He has had very bad experiences with M2M in the past (as well as very good). I think that coupled with homophobic family members is a recipe for burying feelings He told me he wanted to be open & honest with me from the start yet I've found evidence of contact with men without my knowledge.
He told me he used to give oral to girls but after this one hideous incident he couldn't bring himself to do it again. Elian, I have told him about my wishes, we've talked about it on several occasions and he has told me that he really wants to please me that way but he never brings up the subject.
Can you see why I might have a nagging doubt?

[Gearbox]

Do you think your opinion would change if I told you I'd seen him get hard when we've watched straight porn or had casual chats about me doing another woman?
Lots of gay men watch straight porn, but not many get off on hearing about ff sex. So I'd be less likely to suspect him of being gay on the latter.:)

Saying that though, maybe it was the talk of 'gay sex' that turned him on, more than lesbian sex?
But maybe he doesn't like oral with vagina's due to a hygiene compulsion?

Remember that it's just my opinion we're talking about, and not a dead cert judgement of his sexuality!:rolleyes: You wouldn't be alone with those suspicions is all I'm saying!!

Try setting up a lesbian porn night and see how it goes without your interaction.;)

[HzyJD]

Lots of gay men watch straight porn, but not many get off on hearing about ff sex. So I'd be less likely to suspect him of being gay on the latter.:)

Saying that though, maybe it was the talk of 'gay sex' that turned him on, more than lesbian sex?
But maybe he doesn't like oral with vagina's due to a hygiene compulsion?

Remember that it's just my opinion we're talking about, and not a dead cert judgement of his sexuality!:rolleyes: You wouldn't be alone with those suspicions is all I'm saying!!

Try setting up a lesbian porn night and see how it goes without your interaction.;)

It's good to know that I'm not the only one that asks a million questions in my head!

What I really want is to 'let it be'. Whether he's bi or gay I can only hope he's not going out behind my back fucking around. I've told him if he ever gets to the point where he needs more than what we're already doing then he only needs to come and talk. I just know from what I've read that the guilt can sometimes be too much. It does worry me that he thinks it's not an issue and is something that will never come between us. I know (mostly from all you very honest and open guys!) that it's something that will never go away and cannot be ignored.

If he ever does admit that he's gay I'd hope we can keep a good relationship. Whether we stay living together and have other partners or split and stay close, I suppose it's thinking about the kids is what is bringing on all this fear.

"Let it be" - my new mantra. I think i need to go and listen to some Beatles.

[Rick_54]

My hubby is bi and I have questions. I know he has several issues with coming out such as he thinks he'll be disowned by his dad and brother (which I can see quite clearly). Also, he's had several bad experiences with his M2M in the past (one was a gang rape). I see why he would be happy to bury his attraction as deep as possible.

My question is, there are several sexual acts that I think are 'standard' if you are attracted to a woman such as oral and using fingers or other implements! Can you tell me if you think it's strange that my husband does not have any interaction with my vagina apart from penetration?

I thought if someone was sexually attracted to a woman (whether they also be attracted to a man) they would like normal sexual MF acts or at least be open to doing what their female partner would like them to do. He's well aware of my wants.

I don't want to push him if he's not prepared to go there. I just wanted to know if there are any other bi guys that are particular about the sexual acts they will perform on their female partner.

Yes that does seem strange.I would do anything for my female partner to make her happy or satisifed.The vigina is a source of pleasure.It should be loved,caressed,licked and generally adored.I don't have a female partner right now and I really wish I did.So just for penetration does seem a bit odd.I would hope that he would think about you and your needs.Penetration in not the only need that women have.I would pay alot of attention and have an abundence of fore play for your vagina.;)

[Rick_54]

He told me that in the past he gave a girl oral and got a mouthful of some very unpleasant stuff. I'm sure that would turn anyone off but I've had bad sex in my life, that hasn't turned me off sex for good.

I suppose I'm really trying to determine whether he's gay. I've been told that one big sign that a man is gay is that they won't *go near* a pussy...

That does seem to make sense.I love giving a woman oral.I love the taste of pussy and I very much enjoy pleasing a woman in anyway possible.In fact I would prefer that the woman cum before I do.If she does and I don't it's ok.

[bigbadmax]

Everyone seems to be missing the point. It aint a sexuality issue its one of personal taste and likes.
One does not eat certain foods because of individual taste.
I dont watch f/f porn as it does bu***r all for me. Same goes for oral sex to vagina/clit- although I do "perform" infrequently oral to my wife...pleasure is all hers.
Just my opinion.

bbm

[67torinouy]

lol... too funny.

geeze, rofl

[cuttin2dachase]

As a bisexual man who equally enjoys cunnilingus and fellatio (giving and getting), to me there is nothing more intimate than placing my lips, tongue mouth (and hands) all over a woman's or man's body and genitals. It is thrilling to me to bring women and men to orgasm orally and have it all happen right there, up close and personal to my eyes and mouth and in my face. The best lovers I have had in my life, female and male, have been those who give me as good as they get from me ;) I have to admit I have been turned off a time or two because of hygiene issues, but taking a steamy shower or bubble bath together and rubbing & scrubbing the "nasty bits" can be quite erotic foreplay, knowing you will both "go there" later ;)

[tenni]

Everyone seems to be missing the point. It aint a sexuality issue its one of personal taste and likes.
One does not eat certain foods because of individual taste.
I dont watch f/f porn as it does bu***r all for me. Same goes for oral sex to vagina/clit- although I do "perform" infrequently oral to my wife...pleasure is all hers.
Just my opinion.

bbm

I agree with max. This has nothing to do with his sexuality. I'm bi and I don't like to suck cock nor anal sex. I'm still bi. I do enjoy eating pussy if it is clean. I think that the OP should be damn happy that her partner is willing to eat her pussy and especially if he is not fond of doing so. He wants to please you. Give it a rest. He's not gay.(probably)

[liberty96]

Hello and I want to comment on one part of the original question. You had stated that he was gang raped. Did he ever seek counseling for this? A viplent act like that could have deep seated impacts towards his entire sexuality. I think a good frank and honest discussion with him is in order. He may have some hidden thoughts or feelings that need to surface.

Aside from that, whatever works between the two of you should also be discussed. He might need to know more than once what really excites you.

I think a lot of people get hung up on the titles and try to define things. Focus on your relationship and exploring with with him and that is my two cents worth.

Hugs, Marc

[HzyJD]

Hello and I want to comment on one part of the original question. You had stated that he was gang raped. Did he ever seek counseling for this? A viplent act like that could have deep seated impacts towards his entire sexuality. I think a good frank and honest discussion with him is in order. He may have some hidden thoughts or feelings that need to surface.

Thanks for your response Marc, and everyone else.

He did not seek counselling after this event but we have spoken about it on several occasions. While he admits it was an traumatic event, he seems to just see it for what it was and has moved on. It happened at a gay 'hang out' which he has taken me to (during the day!) and told me about what he used to do there. He freely talks to me about his sexual experiences with men and I asked him last night whether he ever feels guilty after sex with men he said no, not at all. He spent a few months seeing this one guy and said he really liked him, loved the sex, enjoyed his time with him but just didn't feel like it did when he was with a woman that he liked.

I brought up the oral thing and well, that opened Pandora's Box!!! He told me that he's never liked giving oral, to men or women. He's given two B/Js to men and he said it was like 'sucking on a finger'. No turn on at all - even though the guys got off on it. He said all the oral he's had with women he feels like he doesn't know what he's doing. He's had very unhygenic experiences including his ex-fiance who he was with for 4 years, apparently she was always smelly. She cheated on him and left him, he believes it was purely because he couldn't satisfy her. When she left she threw a dildo at him and said 'Stick this up your ass because I've found a man that can do me all night long". He feels like he is bad at sex in general - he's so wrong (I told him that too). I wondered why he was always asking me how our sex was, did I enjoy it, did I cum, how many times!?! I didn't realise he was so down on himself. He feels guilty because I'm so selfless in bed and will do what he wants but he can't do the same for me.

We've spoken about having a threesome with a bi guy. He told me last night he's terrified he'll have to watch me get great oral from this guy, I will love it and want to leave him because he can't give me what I want. He wants desperately to satisfy me but is scared that he'll be bad and I'll leave him.

And then last night he came to me with a raging hard on and used his hands well (I didn't even mention lack of fingers when we chatted), played with my nipples and we had great sex. Geez, was that all I needed to do to get what I want ;)

[HzyJD]

I think that the OP should be damn happy that her partner is willing to eat her pussy and especially if he is not fond of doing so. He wants to please you. Give it a rest. He's not gay.(probably)

I'd just like to clarify that he's never given me oral. I had brought it up on several occasions before last night and was never given an answer nor a chance to discuss it.

[Long Duck Dong]

hzyjd...... try this..... ask him about sex toys, flavoured lube, role playing, etc.....

don't try to guide the conversation to any point, allow him to talk, and let the conversation flow......

based around what you have said and your answers, he shows a voyeristic mentality, he shows himself in situations, then *unplugs * when in them..... and for him its like a * journey * of sorts to having sex......

trying role playing and fantasy play, allows a person to *step * aside from themselves and they can become capable of things that they normally would not do or try......

things like touching yourself in a bath filled with bubbles, is alluring, mysterious, sexy... and takes the focus on what you are actually doing and so he is able to think about what you are doing, exciting yourself, stimulating yourself, touching yourself, enjoying the fact that he is watching, seeing what you are doing, becoming enslaved to your own fingers and how they are touching you....... instead of laying in the bath with ya fingers in your vagina.....

the mind is ever so creative, with the simplest of things.... and you my dear, can take the simplest of acts, and make them into anything you want.......

that is the key to your hubby...... and unlocking the man inside the male

[dickhand]

My male cousin would not eat his wife's pussy . Little did he know that I did . She loved to be fucked anally as well as vaginally . She would not suck dick though . Go figure . She didn't know I was sucking his dick and taking it in the ass as well . He was strictly top with either sex . Gotta love family togetherness ! She is very straight . He thinks he is very straight . I know I'm bi . This is the same cousin I started out with whe we were 12 or so .