Greedy

[Jobelorocks]

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about sexuality and different orientations. She kept on saying that bisexuals were "greedy"... I then said, well maybe some but not all. I then explained that there are all sorts of bisexuals with all sorts of practices, just like gay and straight people. I told her some are celibate, some are monogamous, some have multiple partners, some live as a heterosexual or as a homosexual, ect. Then I explained bisexual refers to sexual attraction and not necessarily sexual practice and many deny themselves their sexual wants for multiple reasons, so what is "greedy" about that. At the end of my speech, all she said was "I still think they are greedy." Personally, maybe that is true of me because I am a swinger, but at the same time I really don't think pursuing sexual fulfillment in one's life is "greedy". What are your thoughts?

[lizard-lix]

Well, tell your friend about the bi guy who has been married for 32 years monogamously.

If she thinks I am sexually greedy, then there is not much I can say to dissuade her of her notion.

For some reason, sooo many straight folks think that being bisexual means you also must be polyamorous, while that is true for polyamourus bisexuals (as well as polyamourus monosexuals), it is definitely not true for all. And it still isn't greedy IMNSHO.

Being bi and faithfully married means that there are twice as many people that you DON'T sleep with lol

What is does mean is that I might have been married to a guy all this time if I had met Mr.Right before I met Miss Right.

Happy Friday,

Liz

(we may start swinging, and after this long if she wants to call that greedy, so be it. But my straight wife is in on it so she must be greedy too and many swingers are straight, as evidenced by the way most swinger's clubs treat male bisexuals. So bisexuals definitely don't have the corner on the potentially greedy market lol)

[Katja]

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about sexuality and different orientations. She kept on saying that bisexuals were "greedy"... I then said, well maybe some but not all. I then explained that there are all sorts of bisexuals with all sorts of practices, just like gay and straight people. I told her some are celibate, some are monogamous, some have multiple partners, some live as a heterosexual or as a homosexual, ect. Then I explained bisexual refers to sexual attraction and not necessarily sexual practice and many deny themselves their sexual wants for multiple reasons, so what is "greedy" about that. At the end of my speech, all she said was "I still think they are greedy." Personally, maybe that is true of me because I am a swinger, but at the same time I really don't think pursuing sexual fulfillment in one's life is "greedy". What are your thoughts?

Personally darling, I think I would advise her that she is somewhat malnourished.:)

[Jobelorocks]

I totally agree with you.

[tenni]

I think that we need to recognize just what type of statement is being made by this monosexual when she refers to bisexuals as greedy.

It is a bigoted statement similar to stating that all blacks love watermelon.

I suspect that no defensive response to attempt to educate will change a bigot's mind. Call her what she is to her face when she comes back with the accusation of being greedy.

[hgf33]

It's simply ignorance, and it's just one of the many things we bisexuals have to hear from people who just don't get it. People telling us we're greedy, we're confused, we're perverts, we're sluts, we're cheaters, we're just gay or just straight, or we don't really exist. I have an anonymouse account on Twitter and I like to search the term "bisexual" just out of curiosity and to meet people like me. Turns out 98% of everything I find each time is negative! In fact, just recently, the topic "undateable" was trending, and I was appalled at how many people posted "bisexual = undateable". Sick. I absolutely cannot understand why it's so hard to comprehend that we can be attracted, whether sexually and/or emotionally, to both (or all) genders, and why it's so hard to be accepting of it! We love and everyone despite gender, tell me the harm in that! But like I said, it's just ignorance at it's finest. Not only is it a misunderstanding, but refusal to be open-minded enough to learn more and want to understand. Personally, I'm sick of it. It's like this world is finally achieving gay rights, and bisexuals are just having to start at the bottom rather than move along with the progress. Absolutely ridiculous to me. I wish some of the bigger names like Lady Gaga would do a little more for bisexual acceptance out there. Even transgendered is in the media more. You never see talk shows or news stories about bisexuals. Every bisexual celebrity who suddenly has a same-sex partner is suddenly just gay. Yet another reason why the media makes me so mad! Sorry, I may have gotten off topic, I'm just frustrated. :banghead: Ignorance is a huge pet peeve of mine and gets me fired up a little, lol!

We're not greedy, we're overstimulated, lol! We have twice the eye candy and twice the distractions around us! It's amazing any of us get anything done! LMAO! :bigrin:

[Jobelorocks]

Hgf33... man that is totally true. We don't just get it from the heterosexual crowd either I have heard it from homosexuals as well. There needs to be a bisexual movement to dispel the myths. We need to just keep on speaking up and telling people what bisexuals are and promote equality and understanding.

[tenni]

"At the end of my speech, all she said was "I still think they are greedy."

This is not ignorance if she states this after you have informed her about your opinion as to what bisexuals are. This is wilfull disagreement with you. This is intolerance of your viewpoint as a bisexual.

[elian]

I wouldn't expect her to truly change her opinion immediately anyway what people think about sexuality is very deeply ingrained so I would expect that it would take some thought and introspection and personal experience before her opinion would change, if at all.

I've heard people having that perception, when I am feeling base and lustful maybe it is true, at least mentally but there are also times when I feel altruistic and diplomatic and bisexual mindset is easier to build bridges with.

I think that it is a stereotype, but listening is important so tolerating someone's viewpoint is important step in being an adult. That's like finding fault with someone when they tell me to have a merry CHRISTMAS, with the emphasis on the CHRIST - that's just people being people and I understand the sentiment behind it.

If you were to get angry and tell this friend to go take a flying leap then you would a) probably lose a good friend and b) lose the opportunity through living your life to show her that bisexual people are just like everybody else.

Just BECAUSE bisexual people can fall in love with either gender doesn't mean that they do, or they actively seek it out.

[Jobelorocks]

I wouldn't expect her to truly change her opinion immediately anyway what people think about sexuality is very deeply ingrained so I would expect that it would take some thought and introspection and personal experience before her opinion would change, if at all.

I've heard people having that perception, when I am feeling base and lustful maybe it is true, at least mentally but there are also times when I feel altruistic and diplomatic and bisexual mindset is easier to build bridges with.

I think that it is a stereotype, but listening is important so tolerating someone's viewpoint is important step in being an adult. That's like finding fault with someone when they tell me to have a merry CHRISTMAS, with the emphasis on the CHRIST - that's just people being people and I understand the sentiment behind it.

If you were to get angry and tell this friend to go take a flying leap then you would a) probably lose a good friend and b) lose the opportunity through living your life to show her that bisexual people are just like everybody else.

Just BECAUSE bisexual people can fall in love with either gender doesn't mean that they do, or they actively seek it out.

I think her position is more stereotyping than bigoted as others would think. By the way I am a bisexual who isn't emotionally attracted (just sexually attracted) to women so I cannot fall in love with a woman. Not all bisexuals can fall in love with both genders.

[Gearbox]

Some straight men are 'Tit men', some are 'Ass men', some are 'Leg men'. Some men like it all. They are greedy.:bigrin:

Some like standard 'no frills' missionary sex and a "Goodnight to you sir/madame!", shortly afterwards.
Not greedy!

Some like to gorge themselves orally on ALL body parts, run through all positions of intercourse and spice it up with kinks to the best of their abilities.
Greedy!

Some are not satisfied with just the one gender.
Greedy!

See where I'm going with this?;)

[Jobelorocks]

Some straight men are 'Tit men', some are 'Ass men', some are 'Leg men'. Some men like it all. They are greedy.:bigrin:

Some like standard 'no frills' missionary sex and a "Goodnight to you sir/madame!", shortly afterwards.
Not greedy!

Some like to gorge themselves orally on ALL body parts, run through all positions of intercourse and spice it up with kinks to the best of their abilities.
Greedy!

Some are not satisfied with just the one gender.
Greedy!

See where I'm going with this?;)
So boring =not greedy ...lol

[Gearbox]

^ Basically: Yes.:tongue:

[hgf33]

Damn, then we're ALL greedy!!:tong:

[Long Duck Dong]

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about sexuality and different orientations. She kept on saying that bisexuals were "greedy"... I then said, well maybe some but not all. I then explained that there are all sorts of bisexuals with all sorts of practices, just like gay and straight people. I told her some are celibate, some are monogamous, some have multiple partners, some live as a heterosexual or as a homosexual, ect. Then I explained bisexual refers to sexual attraction and not necessarily sexual practice and many deny themselves their sexual wants for multiple reasons, so what is "greedy" about that. At the end of my speech, all she said was "I still think they are greedy." Personally, maybe that is true of me because I am a swinger, but at the same time I really don't think pursuing sexual fulfillment in one's life is "greedy". What are your thoughts?

one of the more common understandings of *greedy* in regards to bisexuals, is that they can not be content with what they have, and that they can often make excuses for wanting more.......

its the type of statement that people can make in regards to sexuality, as bisexual meaning more than one.......

is it ignorance.....??? no, ignorance is when people make no attempt to listen or understand anything .....

[Pasadenacpl2]

I think that we need to recognize just what type of statement is being made by this monosexual when she refers to bisexuals as greedy.

It is a bigoted statement similar to stating that all blacks love watermelon.

I suspect that no defensive response to attempt to educate will change a bigot's mind. Call her what she is to her face when she comes back with the accusation of being greedy.

I don't agree. Ignorant, perhaps. But not bigoted. We misstep when we assume that anyone who says ignorant things must be a hater.

Pasa

[aheatseeker]

yes im greedy. i like having a bi couple for fun times, more attention and best of both worlds. but for love i can only fall for a woman. im me. :tongue:

[Katja]

I don't agree. Ignorant, perhaps. But not bigoted. We misstep when we assume that anyone who says ignorant things must be a hater.

Pasa

I do agree. Misunderstanding something is not prejudice. I do not understand the attraction to particle physics but I am not bigoted about particle physicists.

I may be mistaken but Tenni's constant harping on about monosexuals and monosexualism is bordering on bigotry. If it is not actual bigotry, then it is at the very least dismissive and contemptuous.

[Pasadenacpl2]

I know, right?

Pasa

[sammie19]

I was at a party last Christmas when a huge argument broke out between a lesbian woman and a bisexual friend. The accusation of being greedy and sleeping with anything that moves was levelled at the bisexual woman. To which she replied rather agitatedly, that she had fucked about 30 sex partners in her adult life and that if the lesbian's boast of having screwed over 100 women in half the time was accurate, just who was greedy?

[Jobelorocks]

I was at a party last Christmas when a huge argument broke out between a lesbian woman and a bisexual friend. The accusation of being greedy and sleeping with anything that moves was levelled at the bisexual woman. To which she replied rather agitatedly, that she had fucked about 30 sex partners in her adult life and that if the lesbian's boast of having screwed over 100 women in half the time was accurate, just who was greedy?

Amen... When people find out I am bisexual they think that I will sleep with anyone. I have only slept with 5 people total... I think that is way less than most 25 year olds.

[Bicurious1989]

I think it depends on the person. Me I'm greedy and can't have or get enough. But again that's Dow to the individual so to class all bisexuals as greedy isn't fair. But unfortunately people tend to class and stereotype people that are different to them because of how narrow minded they're. I know i was once that person.

[ErosUrge]

We're not greedy, we're overstimulated, lol! We have twice the eye candy and twice the distractions around us! It's amazing any of us get anything done! LMAO! :bigrin:

There were many posts that I would have liked to include here as so many were legitimate and right on in my opinion. I decided to use this one and only this part of your post though I agree with the entire comment. And the reason for doing that is I've found myself in the very same situation a couple of times; one from a very good friend. He just doesn't get it. It doesn't change how I feel about him as a friend since so many people think this way anyway and he has too many other great qualities to throw the friendship away.

With all that said I want to get on a platform for a bit and say how sick I am of hearing it. Yes, I am one of those bisexuals who indeed does have an appetite for more than just one person sexually....sometimes all at once and other times one on one and one at a time whether male or female. Call me greedy if you like, but it's ridiculous to be 'condemned' or have negative comments made just because those of us who engage in enjoying ourselves sexually with more than one person or are not monogamous and are sometimes considered to be like the plague....or less than human. You know, it's just interesting that those of us who have the desire to continue having experiences with more than just one person are not very respected.....and it's the usual crappy comments; he/she is a slut, will sleep with anyone and everyone, has no taste, any hole for them will do, etc etc etc....I respect anyone's decision whatever it may be. And just like I'd never tell anyone how I live my sex life should be how everyone else lives theirs or that I'm superior somehow because of it; well, I expect the same in return...but it just doesn't happen does it? People have just got to comment somehow....Just because people choose monogamy, I'm not about to call them prudes. And there are many examples here and out in the 'real' world that married or committed couples do share partners but always stay together and love each other deeply...as all of us here know...what of them? They're greedy too?....I guess so....ha!

[Jobelorocks]

Totally agree EurosUrge. People sometimes just assume that since you are bi you have no standards and you are a slut. Not true. I even hear this from people who sleep around like crazy... I don't tell them they are sluts... I figure their sex life is really none of my business.

[tenni]

Bigot
One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.

When it was explained to the person about bisexuality and the person still was insistent that bisexuals are greedy, they are exhibiting intolerance to a group other than their own (monosexual since it wasn't stated exactly what sexuality the person was). They were unwilling to accept the explanation even when the OP was willing to accept that some bisexuals may be greedy the person blanketed all bisexuals as greedy (I think was incorrect to accept that even some bisexuals are greedy and shows uncertainty on the OP's part). The person was not ignorant as it had just been explained to them. They refused to accept that wanting/ having sex with both genders is normal for some humans because it is not normal for them as a monosexual. They insisted to take a position against all bisexuals.

There is nothing wrong with using the word monosexual to describe heterosexuals and gays whether they are bigots or not.
It seems both some heteros and some gays take the position that bisexuals are greedy and the word monosexual seems appropriate when addressing them both. I personally think that more bisexuals should refer to monosexuality as that is the opposite of what we are...rather than heterosexuality or gay being the opposite.

Pasa & Katja
If you think that the person was just remaining ignorant, then you believe that it was not explained clearly enough to them. How should the OP have explained that wanting /having sex with both genders is not greedy but normal and acceptable for some humans?

[Jobelorocks]

(I think was incorrect to accept that even some bisexuals are greedy and shows uncertainty on the OP's part).

I am not uncertain about anything. I do think some bisexuals are greedy, but so are some heterosexuals, and homosexuals. For instance, it would be greedy of me (now this is my opinion) if my husband wasn't cool with me being with other people sexually and I still did it. Why? Because I made a commitment to him... in a marriage/partnership, you need to both consider each other's feelings. It would be selfish on my part to have the thought process, "I don't care what you think, I am just going to do whatever I want." Now if I didn't like that enough it may give me grounds to leave him, but that is a different story. It sounds to me you are being intolerant that I don't have your exact same views.

[Pasadenacpl2]

Tenni, you are often that which you claim to despise: a bigot.

As for the person saying it even after being told that we aren't all greedy, so what? I'm sure you've been told things before you didn't choose to believe right away (please don't make me go dig up your anti-Bush posts that were filled with untrue statements that you refused to listen to the truths from people who actually lived here). That means a state of continue ignorance that MAY be coupled with bigotry, but not necessarily.

Tenni, you are a bigot of the highest order. And to make it worse, you are a hypocrite to boot. You who will lambasted any who are not bisexual enough, who will rail against your neighbors to the south, and who will run people off this website for having views you don't agree with. Who the fuck are you to call someone out for bigotry? You are one of the top 5 bigots on this site!

Pasa

[Katja]

Bigot
One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.

When it was explained to the person about bisexuality and the person still was insistent that bisexuals are greedy, they are exhibiting intolerance to a group other than their own (monosexual since it wasn't stated exactly what sexuality the person was). They were unwilling to accept the explanation even when the OP was willing to accept that some bisexuals may be greedy the person blanketed all bisexuals as greedy (I think was incorrect to accept that even some bisexuals are greedy and shows uncertainty on the OP's part). The person was not ignorant as it had just been explained to them. They refused to accept that wanting/ having sex with both genders is normal for some humans because it is not normal for them as a monosexual. They insisted to take a position against all bisexuals.

There is nothing wrong with using the word monosexual to describe heterosexuals and gays whether they are bigots or not.
It seems both some heteros and some gays take the position that bisexuals are greedy and the word monosexual seems appropriate when addressing them both. I personally think that more bisexuals should refer to monosexuality as that is the opposite of what we are...rather than heterosexuality or gay being the opposite.

Pasa & Katja
If you think that the person was just remaining ignorant, then you believe that it was not explained clearly enough to them. How should the OP have explained that wanting /having sex with both genders is not greedy but normal and acceptable for some humans?

Having a difference of opinion with a friend is not bigotry, nor is having a diffference of opinion with anyone else. Actively discriminating against someone on the basis of that opinion is bigotry. I see no sign of that in the case of the OP and her friend.

I have a friend who adamant that homosexuality and heterosexuality do not exist as sexualities. She is very vociferous about it to anyone who she feels needs to be told. That no more makes her a bigot than one who takes the opposite view. What would make her a bigot is if she actively discriminated against those with whom she disagreed by having nothing to do with them or even refusing to sleep with them based on their opinions.

It is not that I think you are a bigot, Tenni, but your consistent and interminable over use of the word 'monosexual' and the manner in which you often employ it gives the impression that you do have a problem with those who are not bisexual. You may bandy the word about all you like, that is your prerogative. Forgive me if I shudder for it has become extremely tiresome.

How would I deal with one who refuses to accept my bisexuality and/or that being bisexual was not greedy? I would argue cooly and calmly and explain to them how I feel. If they continued to be so obtuse and dogmatic in refusing to accept how I feel, and that I know better than he or she does what is in my head, and that I am no more sexually greedy and a fucking sight less so than many hetero and homosexuals I would begin to get annoyed, pull a face, prod their shoulder with one finger very hard and tell them what I think of their arrogance and ignorance and leave them under no illusion whatsoever about just what I think of their stupidity and to go away, learn a bit about human beings and make themselves a little more unstupid.

[tenni]

Katja
I think that you need to pay attention to the definition of a bigot more carefully.

I'm not sure that stating (rather than argue) that you are no more greedy than a hetero is clear enough to convince a monosexual. The point is that bisexuals are greedy for wanting/needing sex with both genders. (I may be wrong though). I believe that the OP pointed out that some bisexuals are content with one gender even if they are attracted to both genders? The person refused to accept that as evidence that bisexuals are not greedy. We were not told of any reasons why this person believed that we are greedy..just that we are. That sure seems like intolerance to me.

I doubt that the behavioural reaction of pulling a face would convince me or anyone that your position is correct...lol

[Katja]

Katja
I think that you need to pay attention to the definition of a bigot more carefully.

I'm not sure that stating (rather than argue) that you are no more greedy than a hetero is clear enough to convince a monosexual. The point is that bisexuals are greedy for wanting/needing sex with both genders. (I may be wrong though). I believe that the OP pointed out that some bisexuals are content with one gender even if they are attracted to both genders? The person refused to accept that as evidence that bisexuals are not greedy. We were not told of any reasons why this person believed that we are greedy..just that we are. That sure seems like intolerance to me.

I doubt that the behavioural reaction of pulling a face would convince me or anyone that your position is correct...lol

Tenni, dont you dare presume to tell me what I do or dont need to pay attention to you pompous ass.

Believing someone is something does not necessarily make us intolerant. Telling someone that they are something is not intolerant either. It does not matter whether we understand why. Acting prejudicially against them of the basis of what they say, what they are or what we believe them to be is intolerant as is endeavoring to force them into silence.

Are you suggesting we prevent people from having freedom of speech because if we all adopt your position none of us would ever say anything because it would be considered bigotry. Webster describes a bigot as;

" a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially: one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance "

Actively being unpleasant and prejudicial towards someone on the basis of what he or she says or believes is bigotry. Not taking issue with what he or she says.

We may be intolerant of what another says but being that is because we all have our own opinions, and disagreeing with someone on the basis of what they say is a very mild intolerance. Shutting them up and refusing to allow their views to be heard is a more serious form of intolerance, moves us into the realm of bigotry.

To be honest I couldnt care less about what you say is correct. If you think that pulling a face is my answer to an accusation of sexual greed then you have either not read properly or misunderstood what I said.

The only way to dispell misunderstanding is to discuss an issue. At times tempers get frayed and I am not alone in becoming exasperated by intransigent ignorance. I do not consider that necessarily to be bigotry, but when faced with such intransigence shall send people away with a flea in their ear. That does not prevent them from returning at any time and continuing discussing the issue at a later stage. It does however provide time for reflection and after such reflection am always prepared to pick up on an old debate.

[Jobelorocks]

I don't think most people understand the meaning of tolerance. Tolerance is disagreeing with someone and dealing with them anyways or accepting them despite of your differences. My friend disagrees with me about the nature of bisexuality, but even though our views annoy each other, we tolerate each other and still accept each other anyways.

[Long Duck Dong]

I don't think most people understand the meaning of tolerance. Tolerance is disagreeing with someone and dealing with them anyways or accepting them despite of your differences. My friend disagrees with me about the nature of bisexuality, but even though our views annoy each other, we tolerate each other and still accept each other anyways.

I enjoy the company of friends even when we disagree... I tolerate the people whom, I wish, would go play in the traffic on a busy highway...... lol.....

I love everyone, I understand everybody, I accept, forgive and embrace all, except on my days off.... and my days off, are the ones ending in Y :tong::tong::tong::tong:

[Jobelorocks]

I enjoy the company of friends even when we disagree... I tolerate the people whom, I wish, would go play in the traffic on a busy highway...... lol.....

I love everyone, I understand everybody, I accept, forgive and embrace all, except on my days off.... and my days off, are the ones ending in Y :tong::tong::tong::tong:

I just remember, how would I want them to treat me despite the fact my view annoy them?