Missing a past love...

[curious_m_18]

Hey all,

just wanted to 'vent my spleen' on my feelings if thats ok...

My first real long term gf and i recently broke up and although i think its getting easier... there are times when its just really, really difficult. I know this is part of breaking up, but i think the hardest part is that we seemed to be perfect and she got me, loved my imperfections and was really supportive of my bi feelings as i was of her own (regardless of how timid those feelings were).

As much as i can talk about this with my mates, I think i really needed to...post this/talk about it like this to someone where i could talk about my bi side. It was something i was...lets say ashamed of...coming from a conservative family etc and i hadn't spoken about it to anyone else bar her and I am shit scared of talking about it with anyone else. but she made me feel good about it and i actually accepted it more because of her...and really wanted to explore it with her.

My life seems to be getting harder and crumbling with everything happening with her and work getting CRAZY! and she seems to be partying with work friends every weekend and I'm just not coping, scared that she dose not think anything of our relationship and that she is willing to move on...and when she does, its going to hurt like nothing on earth...

Sorry for the long post, i just needed to get it off my chest... thanks for being there bisexual.com community!

[Long Duck Dong]

its one of the hardest parts of a relationship break up..... realising how much we lived, breathed and loved the other person, they became part of our lives and us as people....and we become each others support.....

then we watch as they appear to be handling it ok and moving on with their lives..... and we struggle with the fact we are not.....

unfortunately, we have to move on to....and its hard, who would have ever believed that a emotion can have such a effect on our hearts bodies and minds, but we did to forget the other effects, how it made us into super people, we were bullet proof with our partners, we leaped over rubbish bins in great bounds, we ran faster than the dog with our slippers, we wrestled with her fearsome parents and won them over......... and now.....

she showed you that its ok to be you, to be scared, nervous, upset, human... and showed you that you are ok, normal, a good person, great lover.... and those are the qualities that you have, and they remain in you after your * teacher * has moved on..... and that gives you the freedom to spread your wings and fly......

but the fear of flying on our own wings is scary.... we are used to the support of our partner and their wings.... and yes, we fear falling cos it hurts.... but we need to know that we can soar high again, up in the clouds.....

the best advice I can give anybody, is never forget the people around us.... even the ones that hurt us... cos they all have shared in our lives and without them, we would not be the people we are today.... better than yesterday, not as good at tomorrow..... but also and most importantly, you are the wings that support the person next to you, and the person you will teach as you were taught....

so hug the pillow, shred the tears and when you get the chance, say thank you to her.... cos without her, you may not have come to the point where you can say, I am me.....

[curious_m_18]

Wow... thank you long duck dong... i honestly think that is some of the best advice i have ever been given! Reading that puts things into perspective and makes me feel that bit better.

Thank you :)

[ballerbeauty]

i want to share with you a personal story....
ive been in the exact same position as you. i fell hopelessly in love with my frist girlfriend. she was my first everything. first love, first girlfriend (i'm a girl just lketting u know) she was the first person i had sex with, and we were also engaged. we did everything together. we went through everything together. My coming out in preticular. she was all i thought about, dreamed about, and talked about. we were inseperatible. unfortunetly alot of things went very wrong very quickly. she moved away, we tried to make it work, but we couldn't. i was devistated. i couldn't stand the thought that i went through so much for her and she "threw it all away". it killed me for a few months. i cried everyday, missed school, everything that could be expected from a break up only to me it felt like it was ten times worse. then one day i realized, what the hell am i doing? there's no use crying over spilt milk. yes she meant the world to me, but it's hurting me way too much. so i stopped talking to her, got rid of her memories, and made a real concious effort to stop thinking about her and wanting her back. it still hurts sometimes and i often think about her even still, but it's getting better. it's getting better because i stoped the hurt. i stoped giving her the control over my feelings even if i wasn't even talking to her. you have to stop worrying about what she's doing, who she's with, or what she's doing with her life. block her on facebook if you have to! lol. but it's not gonna be easy, trust me, it is not easy. and i WILL take time. A LOT of time. but time heals, time truely does heal. you just have to take back your life and move forward. keep busy, go to the gym, start eating right, do something that will benifit you and will keep you from having so much time on your hands. i gained 30 pounds when we broke up and as of right now i've lost 25 and have never felt better. you'll be okay, take my advice and you will be okay. if you still need help you are more than welcome to send me a private message. just remember get active, stop worring about her, take control of your life, and give it time. alot of time.