OK this is weard

[roy m cox]

well OK my boyfriends been hear at my Dad's and spent a week or so that's cool ,
my nephew was over one day and met my bf witch was fun and i was thinking no biggy ,,

um well one day my nephew and his brother was over to help take care of the lawn and other things , my oh yeah he is in his 20's so don't freak on me , any way he starts asking me about my bf and if he can go with me the next time i go to his house , well i being a good uncle say yeah if it's ok with my boyfriend sure ,, well it was ok with him and so we ended up staying with him and it was fun and then i found out i have a 2nd bf im like "yay" and he is very cute :tong:
so ok hears wear it gets weird even for me i find out my nephew is gay and he is in love with my 2 bf's , heh and my bf's just love my nephew and i start to sorta freak but one of my 1st bf tells me don't worry about it so i just put it out of my mind , any time i stay at my bf's apartment i aways walk around in the nude my new bf was like yeah this is cool and well my nephew saw me like this and just i don't know i felt weird but he was very OK with it :drool: ,,, >///< i still feel funny tho and now i found out my nephew is going to move in with my 2 bf's till he gets the apartment next door , so im like "er ' k" :eek: my boy friends still love the hell out of me tho , .

[drugstore cowboy]

Your posts are confusing to read.

TL;DR

So you're somehow having sex with your adult nephew?

You should just stick to having one boyfriend at a time since you don't seem to be handling having multiple partners that well.

[love1234]

Strange and it does not sound cool.

[Long Duck Dong]

roy it makes perfect sense to me.... you have two boyfriends, your nephew has revealed he is gay and likes your 2 bfs, and you are a lil nervous about having a family member involved in your life on a personal, non sexual level

thats normal to feel a lil weird, as partners are different to family... and we relate to partners different to family and we can be unsure how to act around them, when they see us on a more personal level.....

based on what you are saying, your bf's are ok with your nephew and the fact he is gay and it sounds like they are being careful about what happens, to avoid it being too complicated....

having a family member so closely involved in things, can be a lil awkward, so bear in mind, that emotions can run high and I do not mean in a sexual sense, I mean like envy and jealousy

good luck with things

[elian]

When you say your bf's "love" your Nephew - does that mean they would want to be intimate with him or are they just trying to make him feel comfortable?

Yeah, typically relationships between family and lovers are two different things so I can see how you might be consternated. Did you know your nephew was gay? I mean. it's nice that he sort of have a safe place to explore those feelings but yeah, it's weird. It sounds as if your family is OK with you being gay, but I wonder how they would feel about this new development?

Sorry my friend, not trying to judge, just imagining myself in the same situation and it would be a little crazy. Whatever you do, hopefully you can do in a calm way.

What ends up happening probably will depend a lot on the temperament and character of the people involved. Some people really are okay with open relationships and some aren't. For example you might decide to let your nephew get involved and just not do anything directly with him sexually; but if it really bothers you (or you think eventually it would bother your Nephew) you could/should talk about it with your bf's. Hopefully your relationship with bf's is strong enough that they can hear your fears (did I get that right?) and respond in a loving way.

Be sure to frame the conversation in terms of "the way you are feeling", not "the way they are acting" otherwise that just puts people on the defensive right from the start.

[roy m cox]

Your posts are confusing to read.

TL;DR

So you're somehow having sex with your adult nephew?

You should just stick to having one boyfriend at a time since you don't seem to be handling having multiple partners that well.

sorry im not a very good poster,, and or speller , but i try ,,
no i an not having sex with my nephew my bf's are :/ ..

and i like having 2 boyfriends :bibounce:

[roy m cox]

roy it makes perfect sense to me.... you have two boyfriends, your nephew has revealed he is gay and likes your 2 bfs, and you are a lil nervous about having a family member involved in your life on a personal, non sexual level

thats normal to feel a lil weird, as partners are different to family... and we relate to partners different to family and we can be unsure how to act around them, when they see us on a more personal level.....

based on what you are saying, your bf's are ok with your nephew and the fact he is gay and it sounds like they are being careful about what happens, to avoid it being too complicated....

having a family member so closely involved in things, can be a lil awkward, so bear in mind, that emotions can run high and I do not mean in a sexual sense, I mean like envy and jealousy

good luck with things

thank you L D D "hugs"

[roy m cox]

When you say your bf's "love" your Nephew - does that mean they would want to be intimate with him or are they just trying to make him feel comfortable?

Yeah, typically relationships between family and lovers are two different things so I can see how you might be consternated. Did you know your nephew was gay? I mean. it's nice that he sort of have a safe place to explore those feelings but yeah, it's weird. It sounds as if your family is OK with you being gay, but I wonder how they would feel about this new development?

Sorry my friend, not trying to judge, just imagining myself in the same situation and it would be a little crazy. Whatever you do, hopefully you can do in a calm way.

What ends up happening probably will depend a lot on the temperament and character of the people involved. Some people really are okay with open relationships and some aren't. For example you might decide to let your nephew get involved and just not do anything directly with him sexually; but if it really bothers you (or you think eventually it would bother your Nephew) you could/should talk about it with your bf's. Hopefully your relationship with bf's is strong enough that they can hear your fears (did I get that right?) and respond in a loving way.

Be sure to frame the conversation in terms of "the way you are feeling", not "the way they are acting" otherwise that just puts people on the defensive right from the start.

yeah my bf's love him in both ways they had sex with him just made me feel weird is all ,, and most of my family don't know i am BI ..


and i am BISEXUAL not gay . i still go for girls in a =way :tongue:,, i don't go for just one sex or the other i like both and my bf's are fine with it and want me to have a girl friend to....

[elian]

yeah my bf's love him in both ways they had sex with him just made me feel weird is all ,, and most of my family don't know i am BI ..


and i am BISEXUAL not gay . i still go for girls in a =way :tongue:,, i don't go for just one sex or the other i like both and my bf's are fine with it and want me to have a girl friend to....

Yes, sorry I wasn't paying attention on that last part. I'm not sure on the first, you know what you can live with and what you can't - maybe the best thing you can do is just make sure to communicate openly with your bf's if it goes from "weird" to something you don't like.

[tenni]

If I was in your position, it would feel a little too incestuous for me. I understand that you are not having sex directly with your nephew but he is having sex with your two boyfriends and going to live with your 2nd boyfriend until he moves in next door to you? Is that correct?

This just leaves far too many family questions unanswered. Your sister or brother's reaction to all of this may make it more complicated than it is worth.

I would encourage your nephew to begin to develop his own network of friends and lovers if I were you. I would stop walking around naked in front of your nephew when you are both at your boyfriend's place. I usually am kewl about nudity but with all the sexual interactions going on between the people involved, you are inviting trouble of the incestuous kind by continuing these relationships. That is just me. If you honestly believe that this is going to work out positively then that is your decision. You know the people involved. Someone has pointed out the danger of negative emotions like jealousy as making this a challenge to work positively.

[Wrenn]

Roy, I would like to respond to this topic from a parent's point of view. Tenni was correct in mentioning how your brother or sister (which ever is your nephew's parent) might react to the situation, and the rest of your family as well. I am making an assumption that you and/or your family are not natualist and do not practice nudism as part of a personal philosophy of life. I would be VERY concerned and probably outraged to know that my adult brother was walking around naked in front of my child, even my adult child. I agree that your nephew's involvement with your lovers is not a good idea. This can cause some negative repercussions with your relationships within your immediate family.

[slipnslide]

Sounds like an episode of Maury

[buddy514]

Gender and sexual preferences aside, if you were seeing a woman and your there were feelings between her and your nephew, how would you respond?

I would consider having a cooling down with including your nephew in personal space and to personal events. Nephew going to a show or game with you & your BR would be cool. Being in your home, a pool, a bed or undressed. Not cool.

[love1234]

yeah my bf's love him in both ways they had sex with him just made me feel weird is all ,, and most of my family don't know i am BI ..


and i am BISEXUAL not gay . i still go for girls in a =way :tongue:,, i don't go for just one sex or the other i like both and my bf's are fine with it and want me to have a girl friend to.... I don't think its cool that your boy friends have had sex with your nephew. I would not be happy if it was me.

[mikey3000]

Sorry Roy, but I have to agree with the others, this is not a healthy situation. It may be only a matter time before you too start doing your nephew, then watch things get really complicated really fast. I know of a situation just like yours and the adult nephew and the uncle DID become lovers and stayed that way for many years till the uncle passed. It has caused so many emotional issues for the nephew that have lasted for many many years, and will last for the rest of his life. Tread lightly.

[roy m cox]

If I was in your position, it would feel a little too incestuous for me. I understand that you are not having sex directly with your nephew but he is having sex with your two boyfriends and going to live with your 2nd boyfriend until he moves in next door to you? Is that correct?

This just leaves far too many family questions unanswered. Your sister or brother's reaction to all of this may make it more complicated than it is worth.

I would encourage your nephew to begin to develop his own network of friends and lovers if I were you. I would stop walking around naked in front of your nephew when you are both at your boyfriend's place. I usually am kewl about nudity but with all the sexual interactions going on between the people involved, you are inviting trouble of the incestuous kind by continuing these relationships. That is just me. If you honestly believe that this is going to work out positively then that is your decision. You know the people involved. Someone has pointed out the danger of negative emotions like jealousy as making this a challenge to work positively.

heh if you knew my sister ,, she is the sorta mom that just cares about #1 and the kids can take care of them selves :/ yup right= O ,,

[roy m cox]

Gender and sexual preferences aside, if you were seeing a woman and your there were feelings between her and your nephew, how would you respond?

I would consider having a cooling down with including your nephew in personal space and to personal events. Nephew going to a show or game with you & your BR would be cool. Being in your home, a pool, a bed or undressed. Not cool.

well my nephew is gay and so are my boyfriends so i don't think i have much to worry about a girl friend around them ,,
and it's law around my 1rst bf for all to be in the nude not just me ,

[roy m cox]

Sounds like an episode of Maury

thats what i was thinking lol :bigrin:

[roy m cox]

Roy, I would like to respond to this topic from a parent's point of view. Tenni was correct in mentioning how your brother or sister (which ever is your nephew's parent) might react to the situation, and the rest of your family as well. I am making an assumption that you and/or your family are not natualist and do not practice nudism as part of a personal philosophy of life. I would be VERY concerned and probably outraged to know that my adult brother was walking around naked in front of my child, even my adult child. I agree that your nephew's involvement with your lovers is not a good idea. This can cause some negative repercussions with your relationships within your immediate family.

my nephews parents don't care for their boy's my sister is sick and just cares for her self and their dad is a crack head he don't care for any thing but more crack ,,, and i will not have sex with him any way i will hug him and may be slap his ass but that's about all i would ever do to him we are trying to get him in his own apartment now ,, and if you had skin like mine you'd pik ip nudity to believe me ............:2cents:

[hydropop]

Sounds like we will see this unfold on Jerry real soon. You say your not Gay but you Bi? Dont take offense but when I read your post to me it seems your gay, and again do not take offense just my view. Only saying this because you never talk about women , and always talking about your bf's. Anyway if this were me I dont think I would let your bf's mix with the nephew, just saying.

[tenni]

Roy
You started this thread for a reason and you stated that your find the situation "weird". That indicates to me that you are questioning the appropriateness of your situation. You instinctively are sensing an awkwardness.

Posters have told you what they find weird about your situation and why. You state that you do not see your sister and your family as being in a position to be critical. You mention that your sister is self centred to such an extent that she will not care about her adult son. Again, you know your sister and I do not. From the few words that you post, I suspect that she may turn on you. A person who is so self centred and egotistical may have a greater degree of "blame others" to excuse their own behaviour. It is a possibility. Why are you willing to risk this? What is the plus side to continuing this type of relationship with your nephew? Are you concerned that one of your lovers may react negatively if you ask them to stop having sex with your nephew? You seem to want this sexual scenario and yet you start a thread about the weirdness of it all?

You seem to be willing to take that risk that your family will react negatively and yet you sense the awkwardness of the situation? Are you reacting defensively at the same time as sensing that there may be something inappropriate going on here?

If you are not "out" to your family, then you have your reasons. Is your adult nephew out to his parents? If not, then you are gambling that adding to that the possibility of an appearance of incest will not make them go over the top and blame you. Three non hetero facts when/if revealed to the parents are bound to have some reaction even if they are self centred and crack addicts. In fact I'm willing to bet that it may increase the odds of a negative reaction from them)...I could be wrong though as I know only what you've posted.

[Wrenn]

Roy, it appears to me that you are not looking for advice at all about the current situation with your nephew. Your replies have been nothing but lame justifications. i.e. You have a skin problem which is why you go nude but you also stated that your boyfriend had a rule that everyone is naked when he is around. Sounds blatantly sexual to me, not health related; Your sister does not care about your nephew, etc. How you conduct yourself in your boyfriend's apartment is between you and he as consenting adults but when you mix in the presence of your nephew then it becomes, for lack of a better word, creepy. I do not believe that the situation you have described is a healthy one, not for your nephew, not for your family, and not for you. You have other family members than your estranged sister that you should worry may have negative repercussions with.

[mikey3000]

Though if what Roy says about his sister and her husband is true, then I can understand the nephew's need for male affection. He sees that Roy has affection in his relationships, and the nephew just wants some of what Roy has. Incest is a strong word and not entirely appropriate when everyone envolved are adults.

[csrakate]

Mikey...incest is incest regardless of age....and if male affection is what he is seeking, then maybe Roy needs to spend time with him in a non-sexual way...instead of allowing him to run naked and have sex with his boyfriends.

Basically, this is a "weird" situation...and I believe that Roy thinks so as well...but keeps trying to justify it. Roy, you are the boy's uncle....act accordingly and quit allowing this to continue.

[tenni]

I was a bit reluctant to make this part of my above post. I've thought it over and decided to raise this aspect. I don't know what rules that your boyfriend expects when nude in his apartment.

I've been to naturists camps several times. There are strict rules about how to behave when nude. I've thought it over and recall very few incidents where I saw hugging and ass slapping in public view.(never seen ass slapping) I may have seen one cross sexed couple hug frontally briefly. Other than that such body contact and being in someone's personal space while nude seems to be frowned on in the public spaces. Again, I may be wrong and some other nudist may deny what I am trying to say. Even when there is a swinger's night crowd take over the camp, no nude body contact was permitted in the public spaces...so I've been told.

If a hug and ass smack is meant to be non sexual then nudity is probably not the most appropriate time to enter your nephew's personal space to do so. Otherwise, it may be read as a sexual advance. If you would only make such contact while both are clothed, that seems more appropriate.

[elian]

After hearing Roy's comment about his sister I agree with Kate. I grew up in a divorced household and what I wanted more than anything was the unconditional love and protection of a father figure in my life. By some sort of strange coincidence I was sexualized when I was very young, and from that point on had to fight very hard NOT to fantasize about every male who looked my way and smiled.. Logically I knew the difference between love and sex but emotionally it became very difficult to separate the two. It makes life painful because even friendly straight people smile at times.

It sounds as though your nephew needs love and guidance more than sex, if no one else can or is willing to give that to him, can you?

Because of the way I grew up sex and intimacy have left a mark on my life that to date isn't necessarily for the better (and certainly others have had worse but..)

With such low self esteem growing up I obsessed way too much about sex and gender. Living in an abusive household it felt like the only power I had. I had no good male role models and pretty much decided by 12 years old that if being a drunk abusive asshole was what it meant to "be a man" then that wasn't what I wanted to be. I wish that someone then would have helped me build my self-worth - had told ME that "It gets better", smiled and given me a hug with no strings attached.

For all I know, I COULD be straight, but the impression all that left on me, makes me very unhappy even talking about being straight. I might even make a good father but my life was so screwed up, I just don't have the confidence to know I'd do a good job raising a child. The only way I'd have a child, either hetro or otherwise is with the support of a loving partner - I honestly don't know how many single parents do it...I guess because they have to (understands).

I've had enough experiences now to know that I could never go back to being exclusively straight..and why should it matter?

I did have one positive male role model, my grandfather - who treated me with love and respect that only experience can bring..sure do miss him some days.

[elian]

Yes, it does seem like the bf likes to feed his ego, doesn't it? I'm sorry, but there are times and places it is appropriate to be nude, and other times not..especially when sexual relations have already started..

I'd like to think that I don't have anything against nudists, but I guess I'm still feeling influenced by my last post. Sorry..but your nephew is very young, yes? Someone ought to be improving the boy's self worth.. I have no right to judge so, take it or leave it.

[elian]

Yeah, these are off topic, but it's that time of the month again so..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nPe6bgidR4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUG3mc-sQeg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPUqH0XTxhA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqyc7lWi9xc

Thanks for your indulgence.

[drugstore cowboy]

Roy, it appears to me that you are not looking for advice at all about the current situation with your nephew. Your replies have been nothing but lame justifications. i.e. You have a skin problem which is why you go nude but you also stated that your boyfriend had a rule that everyone is naked when he is around. Sounds blatantly sexual to me, not health related; Your sister does not care about your nephew, etc. How you conduct yourself in your boyfriend's apartment is between you and he as consenting adults but when you mix in the presence of your nephew then it becomes, for lack of a better word, creepy. I do not believe that the situation you have described is a healthy one, not for your nephew, not for your family, and not for you. You have other family members than your estranged sister that you should worry may have negative repercussions with.

Yeah I also find it creepy and incestuous. Roy wrote about how he now has a "new boyfriend" or a "2nd BF" and it's the nephew's brother who would be someone related to him and that's incest.

I don't have the best skin either but I don't constantly go without clothing.

While my husband does enjoy being naked at times in the privacy of our own home in a non-sexual way he does not sit around naked when we have guests or even relatives there, and there's no rule that says that everyone has to be naked.

It's also very weird that Roy is OK with his nephew living with the boyfriend or moving in the apartment next door to him. I understand that he's in your family but most people would NOT want their relative living with their partner or next to them and being there constantly.

[roy m cox]

Sounds like we will see this unfold on Jerry real soon. You say your not Gay but you Bi? Dont take offense but when I read your post to me it seems your gay, and again do not take offense just my view. Only saying this because you never talk about women , and always talking about your bf's. Anyway if this were me I dont think I would let your bf's mix with the nephew, just saying.

i only post things about my boy friends is cuzz that's all i have for now , i am still trying to find a girl friend still and one that is open relationship type thats why i have never talked about women ,and i told both my bf's how i feel about them having sex with my nephew and they will not do it any more they will try to help him find a boy friend of his own tho

[roy m cox]

Yes, it does seem like the bf likes to feed his ego, doesn't it? I'm sorry, but there are times and places it is appropriate to be nude, and other times not..especially when sexual relations have already started..

I'd like to think that I don't have anything against nudists, but I guess I'm still feeling influenced by my last post. Sorry..but your nephew is very young, yes? Someone ought to be improving the boy's self worth.. I have no right to judge so, take it or leave it.

heh my nephew is in his 20's and so i think he's more adult , :2cents:

[roy m cox]

Roy, it appears to me that you are not looking for advice at all about the current situation with your nephew. Your replies have been nothing but lame justifications. i.e. You have a skin problem which is why you go nude but you also stated that your boyfriend had a rule that everyone is naked when he is around. Sounds blatantly sexual to me, not health related; Your sister does not care about your nephew, etc. How you conduct yourself in your boyfriend's apartment is between you and he as consenting adults but when you mix in the presence of your nephew then it becomes, for lack of a better word, creepy. I do not believe that the situation you have described is a healthy one, not for your nephew, not for your family, and not for you. You have other family members than your estranged sister that you should worry may have negative repercussions with.

ok this is a lame justification for walking around in the nude http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/psoriasis/slideshow-severe-psoriasis-9 look at that and just tell me how lame that is and if you ever get it then we will see what you say then

[elian]

heh my nephew is in his 20's and so i think he's more adult , :2cents:

I'm glad to hear that your bf's are being respectful, believe me I don't mind walking around the house nude, I would probably do it more if it weren't for the windows and having to sit on the couch. There are times I wouldn't do it though, and this would probably be one of those times.

It might be flattering to me if an 18 year old took an interest in me, but there are so many people who need a good honest friend more than a one night stand. if the nephew is still trying to figure out what it is to be a man then you might want to show him some of the best of what that means, because it sounds like he's already seen some of the worst.

[csrakate]

i only post things about my boy friends is cuzz that's all i have for now , i am still trying to find a girl friend still and one that is open relationship type thats why i have never talked about women ,and i told both my bf's how i feel about them having sex with my nephew and they will not do it any more they will try to help him find a boy friend of his own tho

For goodness sakes, Roy....let the boy find his own boyfriends and quit being so over involved in his damn sex life! You posted this thread with what sounded like genuine concern over whether or not this situation is OK! But your responses sound more like you were trying to brag about it. You're cavalier about the nudity....less than alarmed that he is having sex with your "bf's"....and you have continued to make excuses for the behavior that has taken place. Exactly what did you expect the people of this forum to say to you???? That it is OK?? Well...from what I see from the responses, no one else finds it proper.....and you keep making excuses. So WTF are you trying to accomplish?

Roy, your nephew has had a shitty upbringing and hasn't had anyone to help him develop social skills and emotional stability. He needs someone to help him become comfortable as a PERSON and so far all you have done is allow your boyfriends to treat him as a sexual plaything. You're his uncle, FFS!!! Step up and be that person for him! Be a source of support.....be loving and compassionate and not at all sexual...be a role model....and keep your boyfriends out of his bed and out of his sex life!!!!

[Wrenn]

ok this is a lame justification for walking around in the nude http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/psoriasis/slideshow-severe-psoriasis-9 look at that and just tell me how lame that is and if you ever get it then we will see what you say then

This is what I say.....I know what severe psoriasis is. I know people afflicted with the condition. I work in a hospital. I am not going to debate with you about your skin condition. Is it a medical neccessity for you to be naked all the time? It certainly does not appear from what you have said in your posts that a doctor has told you to be naked all time. What you said in your post was that "and it's law around my 1rst bf for all to be in the nude not just me". That doesn't sound like it has anything to do with your skin condition. It sounds like a sexual thing. Stop trying to make excusses for Christ's sake and start listening to what everyone here has been saying to you about this situation. Keep your nephew out of your personal sexual business. It is NOT emotionally healthy for him. It is a creepy situation!

[roy m cox]

This is what I say.....I know what severe psoriasis is. I know people afflicted with the condition. I work in a hospital. I am not going to debate with you about your skin condition. Is it a medical neccessity for you to be naked all the time? It certainly does not appear from what you have said in your posts that a doctor has told you to be naked all time. What you said in your post was that "and it's law around my 1rst bf for all to be in the nude not just me". That doesn't sound like it has anything to do with your skin condition. It sounds like a sexual thing. Stop trying to make excusses for Christ's sake and start listening to what everyone here has been saying to you about this situation. Keep your nephew out of your personal sexual business. It is NOT emotionally healthy for him. It is a creepy situation!

have you clothing stick to you're skin then try and pull it off with out ripping your flesh away , fact my doctor did tell me to go nude and you don't need to worry i put an end to the living arrangements he will be livening els wear so noone has to wine about this any more

[roy m cox]

i see how some people can be , oh it's ok for others to have weird things happen in their lives and so on but yeah i just wont bug any one any more
"have a good day"

[elian]

Somehow the message you posted before about your bf's deciding to do the "right" thing seems to have disappeared. You seem like a nice guy, sorry if we "needled" you about it but I'm glad we could talk about it because I got to learn just as much as you did.

Everybody's circumstances are different, after talking so long I'm not even sure you asked the question "is this weird?" anymore or not - I guess I could read the first post again.

Hopefully you can continue to have a happy, healthy relationship with you friends, I am glad they are respecting your wishes and the health of your nephew.