TUG-O-WAR

[shamefulsins]

Help! I am naturally attracted to both sexes but it comes in spurts. One month I'll feel nothing for guys and only want women and then all of a sudden, I'm ambushed by desire for nothing but pecs and domination. It hits me all of a sudden like a tidal wave. I feel guilty when I'm with my girl and I'm thinking about a guy.

I watch wrestling with her and then have sex. She thinks it's a male, macho, dominate thing but I'm really just horny because I want to be some of those guys' bitch. I feel like a vampire with all the secret craving and not being able to show myself. Isn't there a way to manage both cravings at once so I'm not like an animal all the time. denying one makes it stronger. How will I manage a relationship or get married. I don't want to be wed and have lovers on the side or anything like that. I'm always confused. Any advice on managing whatever's going on inside of me? Oh great, wrestling's on, gotta go.

[wellred]

Hello Shamefulsins,

I feel for you. Finding a sense of balance in our lives has been very difficult for many of us. You may want to begin by looking at the name you have chosen for this site...working toward a more positive image of yourself and your connection to the world around you is important to be at peace.

As one who entered into commitments prior to become fully aware of and honest about my bisexuality, you are in a much more advantageous position -- a key position to first own your sexual orientation and enjoy it. Then reach out and surround yourself with others who will support and nurture the person you are.

Don't make the mistake that some of us have made by getting too deep into relationships, and then have to change the rules mid-stream. Be true to yourself.

Best wishes in your journey.

- Red