Amazed.....

[DuckiesDarling]

Been reading the threads on here and over and over you see people trying to say whether or not someone is a bisexual.

Think about it? If bisexuals can't even agree on what bisexuality is, how can you expect the rest of the world to agree that you are anything but a unique group of people who can and do have relationships with both sexes or have the capability of doing so?

In the end of the day, the only person who can say what you are is the person you see in the mirror. If that person is happy with how you define yourself, why does it matter what everyone else says?

This is a serious question, not a ranting post. So please be serious in your answers and don't go off on bending tangents. It's not about any kind of fidelity or relationship, it's about who you are. Thanks.

[slipnslide]

It comes back to the nonsense of labels and putting everything in neat little boxes.

It's psychologically uncomfortable to not label something so bisexual gets tossed across this huge spectrum.

Why do we need the rest of the world to agree to anything?

[slipnslide]

Thinking about those other threads it's so obvious to me now that bisexual is too broad a label. If people insist on these labels, we need more. I need a label to describe being predominantly heterosexual. If it's not heterosexual and not bisexual, what is it?

[Long Duck Dong]

cos our militant bisexual crew, can not agree on their own opinions, slip

lol you have to remember one of my detractors posted in 7 threads telling people I was asexual and knew nothing, posted in my own asexuality thread, arguing that I was not asexual cos they had read a asexual dating site as part of their research and are now back to saying I am asexual therefore I know nothing.....

with experts like that on bisexuality, who needs the kinsey scale....lol....... or experienced and certified psychs.......

[drugstore cowboy]

Actually bisexuals do agree that bisexuality is the sexual attraction to both men and women.

The key being sexual attraction, which is something that someone who is asexual does not have at all and never will.

Someone who is asexual is NOT bisexual at all since they do not have any sexual attraction to anyone at all and they lack a sex drive, sexual desire, and sexual attraction which are things that all bisexuals do have towards both men and women that the asexual does not have at all.

Don't be so amazed when people who are bisexual call out someone who is not bisexual at all and who is asexual for when the asexual claims that they are "bisexual" when they are not at all and are not sexually attracted to anyone and neve have been. Hence them being asexual.

[DuckiesDarling]

No, Drugstore, bisexuals do not agree on that or I wouldn't have had a basis for my opening post. It's all over this forum, some say it's actually having sex with both genders, some say it's wanting sex with both genders, some say it's the ability to want to have a relationship with both genders, some say it's feelings not acting on them at all.

So please keep the personal attacks out of this and give a serious reply to a serious question.

[DuckiesDarling]

Slip, the long and short of why....because without the rest of us laws won't get passed, rights won't be protected and in some parts of the world, lives will even be lost.

[Long Duck Dong]

Actually bisexuals do agree that bisexuality is the sexual attraction to both men and women.

The key being sexual attraction, which is something that someone who is asexual does not have at all and never will.

Someone who is asexual is NOT bisexual at all since they do not have any sexual attraction to anyone at all and they lack a sex drive, sexual desire, and sexual attraction which are things that all bisexuals do have towards both men and women that the asexual does not have at all.

Don't be so amazed when people who are bisexual call out someone who is not bisexual at all and who is asexual for when the asexual claims that they are "bisexual" when they are not at all and are not sexually attracted to anyone and neve have been. Hence them being asexual.


what you read about asexuals is a general term, like a umbrella term...... in the same way that not all bisexuals are males that suck cocks, have anal sex and want open relationships....... they are part of the bisexual umbrella tho.....

I love the way you apply asexuality as a strict term and defination, but use a broad spectrum term to label everybody you can as bisexual, then change it when you do not want it to apply

it is why the aven site that deals with asexuality, states that some asexuals have sex and are sexually active..... as asexuality is also not a clear defined state of being, it is blurred.......

[slipnslide]

Slip, the long and short of why....because without the rest of us laws won't get passed, rights won't be protected and in some parts of the world, lives will even be lost.

I don't believe this is true. In Canada we simply state that you cannot discriminate on the basis of sexuality. We don't need to define what sexualities that applies to explicitly. That covers everyone - no committee had to sit down and define what bisexuality means.

[DuckiesDarling]

I don't believe this is true. In Canada we simply state that you cannot discriminate on the basis of sexuality. We don't need to define what sexualities that applies to explicitly. That covers everyone - no committee had to sit down and define what bisexuality means.

But, Slip, Canada is not the world. There are places where the rights of all are protected and there are places where the rights of anyone don't matter to the government. It's a wide world, hon, and as for losing lives over sexuality, just look at Uganda for one place right now.

[slipnslide]

But, Slip, Canada is not the world. There are places where the rights of all are protected and there are places where the rights of anyone don't matter to the government. It's a wide world, hon, and as for losing lives over sexuality, just look at Uganda for one place right now.

Right, but I don't follow. How would a clear definition of bisexual help that situation? It's not like they're going to go, "oh, I see what that is, okay, we're cool with it now".

Did you know that drugstore cowboy likes "I like most things from mild to wild. ;) " Classy.

[DuckiesDarling]

Right, but I don't follow. How would a clear definition of bisexual help that situation? It's not like they're going to go, "oh, I see what that is, okay, we're cool with it now".

Did you know that drugstore cowboy likes "I like most things from mild to wild. ;) " Classy.

Let me put it clearly, because while you are busy fighting amongst yourselves, then no one else knows how to fight FOR you.

[Long Duck Dong]

its like the argument in the us over the bisexual players in the gay sports team..... at what point are the lines defined between gay and bi, bi and hetero......

while we may have no real defination, its going to be interesting to see the court ruling on sexuality when there is no real defination to bisexuality and at what point you are gay or bi.... tho gay is more defined as a male / les that has sexual and romantic interests in the same gender and not the opposite gender....

bisexual is argued as sexual interest, and that ignores the romantic aspect of bisexuality.... which for many bisexuals, is a very real thing

[tenni]

75% of the posts on this thread are being done by two people. One clearly not a bisexual and the other identifies as bisexual without the sex part. He also self identifies as several other things as well.

Although I basically believe in someone self identifying their sexuality, there are times when that just doesn't work. If a man is having same sex activity a couple of times a week and self identifies as a hetero, something is not working.

There is a fairly clear and simple definition for bisexuality. The first section consistently refers to sexual attraction to both genders. The second section gives an option to have emotional attraction to both genders. Its an option that not all bisexuals have. Some people may not identify as clearly as others. Some have not yet come to terms or they are not bisexual.

I agree with Slip that the range of possibilities is very broad and may eventually be redefined.

Until then, don't be amazed. You're not one of us. You are not helping. We don't need you.

[DuckiesDarling]

75% of the posts on this thread are being done by two people. One clearly not a bisexual and the other identifies as bisexual without the sex part. He also self identifies as several other things as well.

Although I basically believe in someone self identifying their sexuality, there are times when that just doesn't work. If a man is having same sex activity a couple of times a week and self identifies as a hetero, something is not working.

There is a fairly clear and simple definition for bisexuality. The first section consistently refers to sexual attraction to both genders. The second section gives an option to have emotional attraction to both genders. Its an option that not all bisexuals have. Some people may not identify as clearly as others. Some have not yet come to terms or they are not bisexual.

I agree with Slip that the range of possibilities is very broad and may eventually be redefined.

Until then, don't be amazed. You're not one of us. You are not helping. We don't need you.

I would pity you, Tenni, but it would be wasted completely. This isn't about you so don't worry, I'm glad you personally don't need me because I wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire. Now that is my final post to you. Have a nice lonely life, Tenni and stock up on lotion. Ignored :)

[_someone_]

Most of the time, a person is what they identify themselves. If you're overly technical about it, I suggest that you get a life.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Until then, don't be amazed. You're not one of us. You are not helping. We don't need you.

Why are you insulting her again?? What is this all consuming need to put her down and smart-mouth her every chance you get?? And who the hell are You to say if a person is needed or wanted, or not??? You've been asked, then Told, countless times to not answer nor comment on her threads, but you keep on.
Why is it that you cant just reply to a topic without the constant put downs? Put your two cents in on someone else's thread if you dont like hers, but quit running a person down simply because she doesnt fit in your little cubicle.
Grow up, and quit being such a tool, fer shits sakes...
Cat

[nicco413]

hers my two pennorth- nickel for our friends across the Pond!!
I am truly bisexual and have been since I was much younger and i enjoy making love with either sex or both together - rare but so rewarding and more ladies seem to enjoy watching their partner and another guy pleasuring each other nowadays, more enlightened and frank relationships perhaps?
Wednesday I had a gay guy here who filled me five times when he fucked me, twice in tandem!! and even though a little tender the last time he was a considerate and very good lover, orally as well.
Thursday had a call from and Indian Couple who wanted to come for fun so I arranged for a bi friend to come and play too.
The lady was the centre of attention for us both, no bi fun at all and we concentrated on her pleasure solely, many orgasms later one happy couple left. She was petite and an exceptional lover with many skills and a delightful oral technique as we all explored our bodies and enjoyed ourselves.
I hate categorising sexual activities, whatever we do, provided its consensual and acceptable to all parties, is fantastic.
Some people here seem to have a problem with others opinions, I for one enjoy the intellectual insight and advice LDD, DD and CMC have given to many others.
Not everyone can accept their sexuality easily, I am fortunate perhaps that I can, why cant we just enjoy sex, help others who may be unsure with the benefit of our experience, and get shagging!!

[Pasadenacpl2]

I have reported Tenni's post...again. I will continue to do so everytime Tenni attacks DD, or anyone else on a personal level. I will be doing so witj DSC's posts as well soon if he does not cease. I urge you sll to follow suit.

Tired of the bullshit clogging up every thread.

Pasa

[nicco413]

I just ignore trolls and disruptive influences they soon get bored!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Ty Nicco-honey. Peck your handsome cheek, and a goose to Pasa..:}
Cat

[DuckiesDarling]

Thanks Pasa, Cat, Nicco and _someone_, I didn't post this for someone to go after me or my partner, I posted it because of an honest question regarding about four different current threads and some responses that people have made.

[Pasadenacpl2]

Definitions...I veiw it thusly: it's a continuum. You have gay on one end, and then straight on the other end. In between is a wide range of values, but those values all fit under the bisexual umbrella. For ease of common umderstanding we could place bisexual as the middle point, and "heteroflexible"/"homoflexible" as midway points between bi and the two other extremes.

It would also be helpful if we all agree that if you do anything sexual with the same sex, you aren't straight. There is no such thing as a straight guy who gives a blowjob. Honey, if you have your mouth around a cock, you ain't straight.

Pasa

[nicco413]

Thanks dd and cms - id love to kiss both your cheeks!!
I have to laugh - when my late wife and i met other str8 couples, and especially when the guy was adamant that he was STR8 - as soon as his cock was in my mouth away we went!!
IMHO many guys lie on profiles because of society's perception that a gay or bi guy is less manly, and some state happy to be fucked but NO kissing!!
Why oh why cant people accept themselves for what they are and get enjoyment out of sex- with whomever it is- male or female.
I have met quite a few couples in recent months where the lady loves seeing two guys make love, and of course, a common fantasy of most guys in a partnership or marriage is to see their lady make love to another woman.
Sex is meant to be an enjoyable release and long may it continue

[Pasadenacpl2]

I dont kiss guys. I've tried it. I don't enjoy it. Partly this is a sensatiin thing (I dont like the feel of whiskers). Mostly it is because kissing is more intimate than sex. I don't want a relationship with a guy deeper than friendship. I din't connect with men on an emotional level.

I say this because I'm very comfortable with who I am, and with the joys of the parts of m2m that I like. The no kissing rule isn't an indicator of repression or denial of self. It's more an indicator that I'm a 2 on the kinsey scale and not a 3.

Pasa

[void()]

I think in reply I am just going to offer up a link to this (http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/) and counter with an even more serious question. Why can we not all agree to abide by this document?

N.B.

Apologies Duckie,

I'm just tired of the bullshit petty crap. Time for a 'big gun' to level the field. In response to your questions. I can not hope to answer for everyone, not when there are moments the answers are not there for me alone. I agree with your view that it comes back to the face in the mirror, others be damned. Unfortunately, our world seems to have affinity with drama. Few can step outside the quagmire and clearly see the whole. For perfection to exist, imperfection is required. People, maybe even reason itself, need the tool of comparison in order to function. I genuinely think being able to see the whole is our greatest lesson. But then I'm probably just some psychotic idiot trapped in a cell miles below Earth's surface, sustained by an Ethernet feed in the vacuum. ;)

[sammie19]

Let me put it clearly, because while you are busy fighting amongst yourselves, then no one else knows how to fight FOR you.

I think this wrong. We learn to stand up for ourselves by learning to debate and discuss small to the the greatest of issues. We don't all think alike and arguing stretches the human mind as it struggles with concepts which are often new to us and put in our minds by others through debate.

We may have a common end, but we don't have a common strategy to achieve that end. That is arrived at through arguing among ourselves and ultimately by some kind of consensus being reached. Sometimes arguing or fighting if you prefer, among ourselves is destructive, but even destructive internicine warfare has lessons for us if we care to learn.

Occasionally, as a good and dear friend often says, our principles are so strong and dear to us that we cannot help but fight with others, and that even by arguing and losing the fight, we will always be contributing something to the improvement of the sum of human knowledge and the betterment of the human condition.

[lady_starlight]

Think about it? If bisexuals can't even agree on what bisexuality is, how can you expect the rest of the world to agree that you are anything but a unique group of people who can and do have relationships with both sexes or have the capability of doing so?

In the end of the day, the only person who can say what you are is the person you see in the mirror. If that person is happy with how you define yourself, why does it matter what everyone else says?

.

Maybe I'm missing something here - but isn't the definition of "a unique group of people who can and do have relationships with both sexes or have the capability to do so" a good enough definition? you want the world to see us as something other than that, but what? seems good enough to me - no need to complicate it with technicalities. Or, again like you have said, the person who defines who you are is the person in the mirror - so why do we care what other people thinks bisexuality is?

I think most people have a general understanding of what bisexuality is, to some degree. defining it wont make people less discriminatory or less predjudiced. it won't change laws. Perhaps im "sheltered" by the fact i live in Canada, probably one of the most tolerant countries in the world (it's right in section 15 of our Constitution that we do not discriminate on the basis of ANYTHING), but i think that places where bisexuality is frowned upon - or where great injustices are done to both bi and gay people - are still going to have the same attitudes whether or not they understand the fluctuations and the many sides of bisexuality or not. It's not a man and a woman getting married and having vanilla, missionary sex in the dark for the purpose of procreation only (preferably with the woman only doing it to please her husband), and therefore in some places (especially those with large religious populations - or religiously influenced laws) bisexuals are not going to be accepted.

My being bisexual doesn't define who i am - what other people think of my bisexuality doesn't define what it is to me - and what i think of other people's bisexuality or lack thereof doesn't define it in their eyes.