family perspective.

[innaminka]

First of all, I make it clear that when I refer to my children in this post, I am talking about a 19 and a 21 year old. Not "children" children.

i think we all know that for anyone, their parent's sex life is the last thing anyone really wants to contemplate in depth - it just doesn't happen - we were all found under a cabbage leaf........

However reality is they did "it"

to my question/querey.
I am single but in a serious relationship; however we don't live together. I have two girls (see above) - one of whom has sort of left home but tends to spend Thursday nights eating my food and catching up.
My SO has one daughter roughly the same age.
Sometimes Christine stays over at my place and sometimes I overnight with her.
It's obvious what happens!!!
With "mum and Dad" when they say goodnight - that's it no more thought about it - however when we say "goodnight, we're off to bed," whoever's home knows why we're going.
My daughters and I have been very open about sex and all its causes and effects, but I just wonder what our collective daughter's feel about our connubials.
It was brought home last night, when I had planned to stay with Christine overnight as she's going away for a week today (She's on a plane as I write :()
As I was leaving my youngest (and brashest) made a little joke about "Mummy's going to have sex" in a little sing song voice and was joined in by her older sister.
I just smiled, said something like "you betcha!" then fled, probably blushing and a little shook up.
I had never realised they saw my visiting quite as basic as it was.
Have other people here, in the same situation ever felt as I did last night? - not ashamed or guilty, but with a realisation my children see their mother as a sexual being - and not just "mum."

PS Yes we did have sex .......... and it was great!!!!!:female::female:

[Realist]

If you don't MAKE a big deal out of things, they won't BE a big thing!

My parents fully intended to tell me about "The birds and Bees" when I was 40! After being raised up away from big populations, and having few friends, or family around me, I found that most of my life growing up was either alone, or around the most conservative and moralistic folks you could imagine. EVERYTHING I was attracted to was sinful, bad, or evil!

I think that is what drove my curiosity about the things they tried to scare me into avoiding! Instead of being honest with me and answering my questions in an open and meaningful way, my parents answered my questions with, "I'll tell you when you're old enough." or, "That's not for little boys to know." or, "Don't hang around with so-and-so, he's a nasty boy, or she's a nasty girl." I never find out exactly a nasty-somebody was! Actually, the "nasty" ones seemed to be the most interesting!

Nothing is more compelling to a kid (to me, at least) than telling me I shouldn't, or couldn't do something! Maybe if I'd been told, like my GF tells her kids, or the way Innaminka told hers, I might have been less inclined to be such a sexually inquisitive boy.........................nah, I probably would have been!

At least, I would have understood what and why I did what I did.

[Hephaestion]

First of all, I make it clear that when I refer to my children in this post, I am talking about a 19 and a 21 year old. Not "children" children.

i think we all know that for anyone, their parent's sex life is the last thing anyone really wants to contemplate in depth - it just doesn't happen - we were all found under a cabbage leaf........

However reality is they did "it"

to my question/querey.
I am single but in a serious relationship; however we don't live together. I have two girls (see above) - one of whom has sort of left home but tends to spend Thursday nights eating my food and catching up.
My SO has one daughter roughly the same age.
Sometimes Christine stays over at my place and sometimes I overnight with her.
It's obvious what happens!!!
With "mum and Dad" when they say goodnight - that's it no more thought about it - however when we say "goodnight, we're off to bed," whoever's home knows why we're going.
My daughters and I have been very open about sex and all its causes and effects, but I just wonder what our collective daughter's feel about our connubials.
It was brought home last night, when I had planned to stay with Christine overnight as she's going away for a week today (She's on a plane as I write :()
As I was leaving my youngest (and brashest) made a little joke about "Mummy's going to have sex" in a little sing song voice and was joined in by her older sister.
I just smiled, said something like "you betcha!" then fled, probably blushing and a little shook up.
I had never realised they saw my visiting quite as basic as it was.
Have other people here, in the same situation ever felt as I did last night? - not ashamed or guilty, but with a realisation my children see their mother as a sexual being - and not just "mum."

PS Yes we did have sex .......... and it was great!!!!!:female::female:

Is using the term "children" when these are your sex partners and not your real children a wise thing to do? The quaint 'Britishness' in the terminology is understood here. However, there is opportunity to misunderstand regardless of declaration. The age gap is entirely at your prerogative to indulge as you are all adults in the eyes of the Law.

That said, it is always a bit difficult to think of either one's parents or one's real children and consequently their relative age groups as sexual beings. Maybe that's real biology in conjunction with social mores; outbreeding is the best strategy afterall. Perhaps this explains your discomfort.

Realist's opening declaration seems reasonable advice (assuming privacy prevails).

"...If you don't MAKE a big deal out of things, they won't BE a big thing!..."

.

[HzyJD]

Is using the term "children" when these are your sex partners and not your real children a wise thing to do? The quaint 'Britishness' in the terminology is understood here. However, there is opportunity to misunderstand regardless of declaration. The age gap is entirely at your prerogative to indulge as you are all adults in the eyes of the Law.

That said, it is always a bit difficult to think of either one's parents or one's real children and consequently their relative age groups as sexual beings. Maybe that's real biology in conjunction with social mores; outbreeding is the best strategy afterall. Perhaps this explains your discomfort.

Realist's opening declaration seems reasonable advice (assuming privacy prevails).

"...If you don't MAKE a big deal out of things, they won't BE a big thing!..."

.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think the 'children' being referred to are actually Inaminka's children but being 19 and 21 they are adult children and understand the reality of their mother's sex life. That's how I read the post.

[Hephaestion]

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think the 'children' being referred to are actually Inaminka's children but being 19 and 21 they are adult children and understand the reality of their mother's sex life. That's how I read the post.

If I've misunderstood then that's a load off my mind.

How about a rewrite saying: "My 19 and 21 year old daughters began to poke fun when I retired to the bedroom with my lover......" ?

All of this goes to explain why it is that when I go out I have a label tied around my neck saying "If found wandering and looking lost, then please return this person to the following address...."

.

[innaminka]

Thank you for the replies.
Just two quick comments.
referring to my children the way I did was to clarify that they are grown adults and not young children which of course is a taboo subject in any decent forum.

secondly, it's not a big deal - will never be. I am not lying awake at night thinking about it.
Yes, I was simply momentarily thrown by the openess of my girls and my realising that they knew all about me having a sex life and the acceptance of it. Of course they know!!! Its just not often a Mum gets teased about that aspect of her life!

Thanks again.