Bisexual friends

[canuckotter]

Just a random thing I felt like asking folks here about...

One thing I've noticed over the last dozen years, for whatever reason, is that when I'm really comfortable around someone, and really enjoy their company, they almost inevitably turn out to be bisexual. I have great, really close friends who aren't bi (both gay and straight friends) but I've found that for some reason I'm most comfortable right away with bisexuals. I'd attribute that to a shared sexuality, except that with most of these friends we knew each other for a while before coming out to each other; in a few cases, the other person didn't even admit it to themselves until after we'd been friends for a while.

Has anyone else encountered that? Or is it just a weird coincidence for me? :)

[CMack]

Is it not true that "like attracts like"? :yinyang:

[JohnnyV]

Invite me to your friends' next gatherings. I don't know anyone who identifies as bisexual in my city, except for me.

J

[KatieBi]

I've definitely observed the same thing in my life. I've had friends of all descriptions (and orientations), but the ones I've truly "clicked" with from our first meeting have in general, turned out to be bi, even though our initial meetings never occurred under pretenses that would have predicted that. However, having only two bi friends in the "real world", I can definitely say I wish it happened more often! I'm not sure I'd chalk it all up to "like attracts like" (in terms of sexuality, at least), but maybe just that they are both compassionate people, which is something I appreciate, and the common thread between all of my closest friends, gay, straight, and bi.

[jedinudist]

Just a random thing I felt like asking folks here about...

One thing I've noticed over the last dozen years, for whatever reason, is that when I'm really comfortable around someone, and really enjoy their company, they almost inevitably turn out to be bisexual. I have great, really close friends who aren't bi (both gay and straight friends) but I've found that for some reason I'm most comfortable right away with bisexuals. I'd attribute that to a shared sexuality, except that with most of these friends we knew each other for a while before coming out to each other; in a few cases, the other person didn't even admit it to themselves until after we'd been friends for a while.

Has anyone else encountered that? Or is it just a weird coincidence for me? :)

I Have! Back in high school, almost all of my friends turned out to be bisexual or they had the attitude that bisexuality was cool (i wasn't "out back then, still not out except to a few folks). All of us were friends long before we knew this about each other.

Even now, I tend to make friends with people who are Bi, gay, lesbian, etc more easily than those who aren't. Again, in most of the cases, I am friends with folks for a while, even years before their sexual orientation comes out.

Gaydar? Bidar? or is it Nicedar?

Sometimes, that "birds of a feather" saying seems to be true. Plus, I hoestly think that overall, bisexual people are less judgemental and hostile, thus, they are better friends and more fun to be around ;)

[canuckotter]

Cool... I was wondering if it was just me. Glad to know it's not. :)

[juleyah]

Haha, exactly what happened to me. I came out first in my group of friends (me + 4 other). Turned out they all came out as bi or gay in the next year after I came out. :bigrin:

[texasman6172003]

Hi Canuckotter,At least you have friend's you can come out to. In my situation i have none that i can confide in. That is mostly due to the region in which i live.Along with other reason's...

[jamiehue]

interesting...one thing for sure the bi guys are better lovers!

[CountryLover]

"bi men are better lovers"

Well, for the first time since I joined the bi community I have a bi man lover.........and *WOW* I sure won't argue with that quote now!

But, yes.....I relate to other bi's first, even before I know conciously that they're bi. Then to gays who aren't heterophobic. Fanatics on either end of the scale don't appeal to me at all.

[Driver 8]

Well, for the first time since I joined the bi community I have a bi man lover.........and *WOW* I sure won't argue with that quote now!
They're better looking, too :tong:

I'm not sure I unconsciously pick out other bisexuals as friends, but I'm indescribably grateful for the bi friends I've had over the years. It's such a relief to know people who aren't going to try to persuade you that you aren't really bisexual, or freak when you're seeing someone of the "wrong" gender, or ask 1,001 stupid questions every time the subject comes up (even though you've already answered them again and again.)

[OralBradley]

They're better looking, too :tong:

I'm not sure I unconsciously pick out other bisexuals as friends, but I'm indescribably grateful for the bi friends I've had over the years. It's such a relief to know people who aren't going to try to persuade you that you aren't really bisexual, or freak when you're seeing someone of the "wrong" gender, or ask 1,001 stupid questions every time the subject comes up (even though you've already answered them again and again.)

My experience has been that while I don't consciously pick either gays or bisexuals for friends, one the friendship has been established we find that is another area of mutuality. The people with whom I become intimate (in the original meaning of the word rather than simply sexual) acceptance and openess eventually lead to what might otherwise be private details.

[grizzle45]

I don't have any bi friends. My brother is gay, I have two gay friends, and lots of gay people I know as friends of friends, but nobody I know identifies as bi. I do consider many of friends to be queer becuase they always blur the line of heterosexuality in some way (however slight). I do find that when I get to talk to bisexuals it is a tremendous relief. I think I feel more relaxed because I feel that the person understands me better than anyone (and indeed, this is true) and I feel that we have much in common, even if that is in my own mind. I often feel I would like to speak to more bisexuals (hence coming to this forum) but never meet any in the daily course of things and I'm not involved in any queer organizations.

[bhg08054]

I've been following this thread, and feel left out.

I have never known an "out" person in "real life". I do remember being introduced to one or two openly lesbian women, but never any gay men, nor any bisexuals.

I'm assuming I have met some number of people not openly such though.

I have met other bi folk, but knew them online by their aliases long before meeting them in person. And none of them are "out".


:( :( :(

[billy_campbell]

I have several gay friends who do not know I am bisexual. The reason for that is I know them from work and I am not ready to come out. I have two lady friends, who are bisexual, who know I am bisexual. Three guys know I am bisexual, two who I have been with and one whose gf told him I was gay because he was freaking out over his bother being gay and she just sort of outed me by saying I was bisexual.

I find bisexual friends to be much easier to socialize with.

[funlife]

i dont know any (openly) bi guys in my area.
the guys all seem too scared to show their inner feelings.
How does one break the ice anyway? Its a pity everyone is so worried about being themselves. :rolleyes: