Change

[void()]

Change

Change may be a word that frightens people. It should not frighten
them. Change is a natural part of life.

I mentioned being the change you wanted in another thread. While away
from the Internet & Web for a hiatus, I took stock and made decisions.I
found myself reading various documents about programming computers.

Also in reading a book entitled The Last Lecture came into my path.
When on reading sprees, I binge, ravish and devour anything and
everything. It was one such spree which caused me to read up on
geomancy and The Greater & Lesser Keys of Solomon for no really
apparent reason aside from 'stepping into my path'.

This book stirred me into reading Think and Grow Rich. Think and Grow
Rich is somewhat biased toward attaining wealth of currency but it is
stated the principles given in it may be used for other ends. Even
fools know money does not buy happiness.

These books in cohort with the tomes of programming references forged
themselves into coherent 'wake up bomb' with my name. I can and do
program a bit. Most of the stuff I was reading finally suggested,
programming was something I can master. It also deduced that 'the
world at large' has preconceptions. One is that people need proofs.

A commonly accepted proof is degrees from colleges. So, I decided on
college for two to four years in order to get an associate's degree in
computer science. I am tired of kicking a dead horse.

We'll be moving back to WV. It makes sense to go to college there. The
dead horse I talk of is, living a life where manual labor is the only
skill set one has. This limits one to 'taking what ya can get' as far
as work, then living. Recently, my wife's truck broke down. Even had I
been staying employed at the previous employer, there was no way
income would have covered repairs. We fortunately had a small windfall
from savings. If you can't keep a car on the road, you don't work. If
you can't afford keeping one going, time for a job change.

And that is me being a change. I have created a written plan which
elian saw on his last visit. I am persisting in following the plan and
will do so until the goal is attained. Then, I'll review and draft new
plan/s.

"You may not be able to change the cards you're dealt but you can
change the way you play the game."

And yes, this means I'll probably not be 'around' here too much any more. In all honesty, a good number of folks here depress me. And that's perfectly fine. I choose being depressed, though. Can just as easily choose not being depressed. :)

[Long Duck Dong]

what ??? no more voidisms ??? no fair.....

I love your saying "You may not be able to change the cards you're dealt but you can change the way you play the game."

ain't that the truth..... lol

good luck, fair traveller on lifes random path, may the sun never shine in your eyes and may the rain him dribble down the crack of ya butt...lol

[elian]

Change is sometimes hard but I am glad that you have a positive attitude about it - that makes a big difference. Do it for yourself, but know that you are loved very, very much.

[elian]

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Kisses between your furry ears, my friend. You know where I am if you need ta talk..:} Onward and upward Darlin...;)
Cat

[DuckiesDarling]

Gives Void a big hug and warm wishes. Don't let there be too much of a void around here without you though.

[NotLostJustWandering]

Way to go on turning your life around, Voidie.

But is it really necessary to go to see the Wizard to certify that you have a brain? Personally, I went to college twice, practically lived there the second time around, but never got a degree. I was actually more educated when I first entered college than many are when they leave, having gone to a highly competitive high school and a cutting-edge open-classroom grade school (was solving trigonometric problems at the age of 8.) But the more I hung around college, publishing a newspaper, organizing protests against budget cuts, battling nasties on both student and administrative levels, the less important completing papers for classes seemed, and finally I just couldn't be bothered going through the motions.

When the time came to join the professional world, I knew my lack of a diploma would prejudice potential employers against me, so I did the creative and resourceful thing: I lied. I claimed on my resume that I had a Bachelor's degree and no one ever called me on it. They had no reason to. My presentation was too smooth for me to be a dummy, I wasn't going into medicine or teaching, and advertising agencies are not accustomed to demanding transcripts. I don't know how it is in the programming world, but if you can do the job well and you just have to lie so the interviewer can put a check on one of the standard requirements to let you in, so be it. What they don't know won't hurt them. If you can do the job well and get along with your coworkers, nothing else matters.

As for not hanging around here, hey, I just disappeared from this forum for 3 months and I can't say I missed it. Apparently nobody missed me either, at least not enough to send me a note. Am I back? Dunno. Woke up this morning with a question on my mind that I wanted to bounce off a wider bi community, so I logged in. Maybe I'll log in again tomorrow, maybe I won't. So if we both stick around, I'll be happy to read your brilliant ravings, and if not, hey, there's much more to life than this web site. All the best to you.

[void()]

I love your saying "You may not be able to change the cards you're dealt but you can change the way you play the game."

It's from the author of The Last Lecture. I quote it because yeah,
it's true and makes sense. And right now, I am switching up nearly
everything in playing technique. I see what may help grease the cogs
to master catching onto that evasive butterfly, happiness. Meanwhile, I
got plenty to stay busy with. One trick to catching the butterfly,
never let it suspect you're hunting it. ;)



Change is sometimes hard but I am glad that you have a positive attitude about it - that makes a big difference. Do it for yourself, but know that you are loved very, very much

Change usually always is difficult. Hard is, erm, well it's not
exactly printable at the moment. But yeah, I'm being positive about
it. I am also not holding my breath of my plans being the 'magic wand'
which upon waving grants all desire/s. I know it will take dedication
and work. I'm willing to sacrifice both to get to the prize. Beats
setting around wishing for better to come along, or wondering why I'm
not going anywhere.

And I know I'm loved. To some degree, yes, I do this for me. It serves
others as well, though. If I can manage to hook and squeeze out a
little happiness from life, those I love can be happy with and for me.
No, I'm not 'overloading' myself and feeling an obligation. I can't do
crap like that any more, stress kills me. So, I eliminate stress. :)

What I am doing is being aware, aware of more than self. It will
really take a lot of C if I'm working at something I like. I won't be
nearly as bitchy or wound as tight.

And yeah, I know there are going be days, people, ideas, things which do vex. I am prepared to go head on at them. Shoot, may even try my hand at driving. Shame my plan of gaining experience on a fork truck first, did not work out. Big deal, I can try again.

"Instead of bashing that numb skull of yours into brick walls, why not
try going around them?" - C

The forklift thing with that guy Buddy Joe as my supervisor, a brick
wall. I can side step and learn to drive another way. Who needs Buddy
Joe's silly forklift anyway? :)

Bottom line, I love you guys too. Yes, I do this for me but y'all get
lumped in 'cos ya part o' me.

Kisses between your furry ears, my friend. You know where I am if you need ta talk..:} Onward and upward Darlin...

Yep, I do Momma Cat. This silly ol' wolf gonna be running a we more
quite though. Seems like he's figuring out a few different phrases.

1. Don't sweat the small shit!

2. Is a joke about the first monkey in space, done with gestures.
The punchline is, when asked how the monkey found his grand adventure,
"Big Fucking Deal".

While I was still at work, one of the guys kept regaling us with tales
which began; "I had a buddy who went to 'Nam ...".

So, it had started getting really hot. Me being one able to piece
things into coherent bits had thought. This guy worked with a partner.
One of them had to be 'the buddy' from the stories.

I walked over from working on bin repairs, drenched in sweat. "Hey
fellers, ever this hot in 'Nam?"

The one who crafted yarns looked floored and dumbfounded, scared. The
other fellow just piped up. "It was hot", and nodded.

This confirmed two things for me. One, he had served in 'Nam. Two,
they were more friends with one another. I did the monkey joke in
gestures as the Vet loaded a truck. He just laughed his butt off.

I didn't care if he was gay or not. He did the work same as me. So, it
really was a "Big Fucking Deal".

The vet also told me, even with him having been recon, he'd not bother
trying to sneak up on me. He knew nobody could, as he put it, "you're a
damn scout. We hate your kind, next thing you know, you go off and get
all spooky!" He was joking around and didn't really hate me.

The point being he respected me and me him. We had earned one
another's respect by not being afraid. More than could be said of my
supervisor.

But is it really necessary to go to see the Wizard to certify that you have a brain?

Wish it were not so but it is. So, yes I need to climb into the ivory
tower of education. I may wish such a way did not exist until the cows
come home, (which incidently on a small dairy farm is about 4Pm local
time) but it's part of a dead horse. It won't change no matter the
hammer or anvil it is struck with or upon. So, I'll comply and play
the 'game' our society has saddled on our shoulders.


When the time came to join the professional world, I knew my lack of a diploma would prejudice potential employers against me, so I did the creative and resourceful thing: I lied. I claimed on my resume that I had a Bachelor's degree and no one ever called me on it. What they don't know won't hurt them. If you can do the job well and get along with your coworkers, nothing else matters.

May not hurt them but would kill me. Such a fib would really tear into
my psyche. It would nag at me for being dishonorable, for doing
something the 'easy' way.

While I appreciate your suggestion and understand it, that doesn't sound the 'way I need to go'. Besides, I'm the lot whom without bad luck has none. And it would be my 'luck' someone would find out. I may gamble a bit at times, be gung ho Mr. Spontaneous and Carefree but when working on 'the bigger picture' say,five to ten down the road, rather not let Chance play too random a part.

[elian]

It has been my experience that serious long term offers of full time employment the HR department is likely to check references, and they usually want to know the name of the school - the years you attended, etc. It's a shame that experience on the job doesn't seem to mean as much as a piece of paper but I think most HR departments have at least one folk who seem more like accountants at heart. When you've got a stack of 500 resumes to look through every little edge helps.

Forklift was a good idea but you can do without the forklift - now it's just a source of aggravation for you anyway.

, just go slow and sleez...err... nice 'n easy. Drive around an empty parking lot, laps around the outside, turns on the inside. You have to slowly build up your confidence. Go out, do a few laps and come back - my first driving lessons were short trips to the store, etc. And to be honest, I've been driving for 20 years now, I don't know how many 100,000 miles for work, etc. and I STILL screw up every once in a while.

Even if you drive perfectly there's some idiot next to you "driving" while eating a cheeseburger, reading the newspaper, having a shave and talking to his girlfriend on one side and a second person who is dreaming of being a NASCAR driver on the other - it happens. You just have to try and anticipate what they will do. Most people are at least relatively sane while driving. I think you like thinking about people that way so you might actually be pretty good at it.

The more positive things you can think of in life, the more it will be easy to shake off the bad. Won't ever completely get away from the bad - even the most generous person I can think of STILL had to deal with someone she loved passing away. The universe just loves to poke and prod at us and keep us moving..

I agree with C - it takes longer and in America it's not particularly prized (by Hollywood) but the more walls you can walk AROUND the better...she is a nice lady.

As for being wound too tight well **BLUSHES** - **Face changes five shades of red** ..nevermind.. <grins> <kisses>

[kitten]

You have inspired me. I am at a crossroads in my aging self and have had a difficult time putting it all in perspective. Your wisdome and gentle words of reality have helped me focus and realize many things as well.

Thank you.
And best wishes to you as you forge ahead-
hugs always, kitty

[void()]

Well, I wasn't exactly posting to inspire. :)

But hey it's a nice side effect to happen. Glad my reprogramming of life has helped inspire someone. That in and of itself gives me hope as well and illustrates proof of success as defined by a master.


"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of one's self;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived ?
This is to have succeeded."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

And for those whom would offer the criticism of a bisexual or homosexual guy not being a man, I offer yet another master's words.

If (http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htm) by KIPLING