Asexuality and being bisexual

[Long Duck Dong]

I am asexual and bisexual, this means that I am attracted romantically to both genders ( and more ) and have been sexually active with both genders for around 20 years..... and I ID as a asexual bisexual, not bi asexual as some people mistakenly state regularly......

the other mistake that is regularly made about me, is that I was born asexual, something that even the experts can not say for sure, as our sexual drive normally doesn't develop until puberty so its a lil hard to diagnosis the absence of something that we have not developed yet




what is Asexuality ( the asexuality site is here asexuality (www.asexuality.org/), at the time of posting, it was dealing with technical issues, but should be back up soon )

Asexuality is the lack of a sex drive, the hormonal / chemical changes in the human body in response to stimuli, such as images, sounds, pheromones and so on

it is a naturally recurring aspect of nature and something found in many people...

there is a misunderstanding that a person is born asexual, as the hormones and chemicals do not normally become active until puberty... and that is when most asexual people can not be correctly diagnosised by professionals until puberty and beyond and yes for many asexuals, it can be changed with artificial hormonal / chemical treatments, however many of us, find it is peaceful living a life that is not controlled by a sexual desire and drive

the state of asexuality is a dual aspect, some people are life asexual, they never develop the hormones and chemicals in the human body and so spend their adult life lacking sexual motives, desires and wants.

others can end up in a asexual state, due to issues such as stress, menopause, surgery, medicines..... something many women may be able to relate to, very well
they love their partners very much but find that they have lost sexual desire and interest for a short or long term.... this is a asexual state as opposed to a life asexual whom never develops the hormones and chemicals

it is important to understand that a persons sexuality is not defined by their sexual activities, as many of us know that we are hetero / gay / bi / pansexual, before we have sex with people and further define our levels of sexuality and sexual interest.......
if sexuality was defined by whom you had sex with and when, many of us would not be regarded as any sexuality, or a different sexuality to what we are.....

the difference between a asexual and a celibate person, is a asexual state / person is not a self imposed state, it is naturally occurring, a celibate state is one of choice and self control.
often celibate people are also asexual people and they are the ones that handle a sexless lifestyle better.


the confusing part for people, is when you apply a sexuality to a asexual person

asexuals are still attracted to other people, regardless of the lack of sexual interaction
because they are not sexually active with the person, they are referred to as sexuality romantics or in the case of asexuals that can be sexually active, they can use a defining term of sexual or romantic

heterosexual
hetero romantic

homosexual
homo romantic

bisexual
bi romantic

pan sexual
pan romantic

what can confuse people, is how some asexuals can be sexually active and lack a sex drive......

think of it in terms of having sex when you are not in the mood for sex..... and that is about as close and easy to explain as it can get.....

asexuals are no different to everybody else, we are able to *read * people, recognise flirting, interest and understand sexual interest, we are also normal intelligent people, so being asexual is no obstacle for us..... it is merely the ignorance and judgemental nature of people that is a obstacle to us.... and that is no different to any other person that is judged by other people

so I hope this helps some people in the site with understanding some people better and seeing that there is more to people than what is between their legs or who we are sleeping with

[Emunahd]

Thank you for sharing that. I have seen you post that you are asexual and pansexual and was not sure what you meant, and didn't want to pry.

It would almost seem liberating to enjoy people for who they are, not just for their pheromones.

[Long Duck Dong]

yeah, its very confusing and hard for people to relate to........

I am still attracted to people and find them to be sexually pleasing..... and I can have sex with them.... and thats the bisexual / pansexual aspect....

I lack the desire to have sex with them, the drive to have sex with a person.... and thats the asexuality....

I can have injections to artificially create a sex drive, but honestly, while sex can be nice, something ( sex drive ) I can not control, doesn't appeal to me.....

think of your emotions and loving somebody you can never have, and how it can affect you

[Emunahd]

For sure. Being ruled, or at the very least, directed, by hormones is terrible!! I can see where there are benefits to the situation. As a "pre menopausal" woman, I am victim to my hormones. They are turning me into a strange person, lol. Not to make it about me, I just want to point out that i have some empathy from the other end, if you will.

So you can choose your relationships based on personality, intelligence, wit, etc., without letting the driving force of hormones carry you away?? Is that a correct statement? Not to say that you don't find people attractive, but when you do, it's akin to admiring a painting, perhaps? Or am I way off base??

[tenni]

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1870

"asexuality is attraction to neither sex. An exact definition has not been officially set, so most "experts" in the area reference AVEN (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network): "a person who does not experience sexual attraction." This is not to be confused with chastity, which is a choice to not act upon sexual urges (for asexuality to be an orientation it must be innate, not a choice)"

chastity and celebacy seem both to involve choice.

"AVEN implicitly indicates asexuality only refers to lack of sexual attraction to another person."

"If asexuality is indeed determined to be a genuine sexual orientation, and even if it isn't, it greatly alters the way scientists and the public think about sex and sexual drive. On the social side, it shows that relationships do exist without sex and that love and sex may be mutually exclusive."

[tenni]

Wiki states
Asexuals, while typically lacking in sexual desire for either sex, may engage in purely emotional romantic relationships. Terms concerning this:
• aromantic: lack of romantic attraction towards anyone of any gender
• biromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of either gender
• heteroromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of the opposite gender
• homoromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of the same gender
• panromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of any gender or lack of gender
• transromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of variant or ambiguous gender
• polyromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of more than one gender or sex but without implying, as biromantic does, that there are only two genders or sexes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

[drugstore cowboy]

That's nice long duck, but you're not bisexual or pansexual since you don't have sexual attraction at all to anyone and you're asexual as you've said many times before.

Love is one thing but actual sexual attraction is another and who you're sexually attracted to-or in your case who you're not sexually attracted to which includes everyone- what defines someone's sexuality or in your case asexuality since you're not sexually attracted to anyone at all and never have had sexual attraction to anyone because of being asexual.

Long Duck when was the last time you actually had sex with a man? I've read your posts where you do write about having sex but it's always with women and never with men.

[sammie19]

Long Duck when was the last time you actually had sex with a man? I've read your posts where you do write about having sex but it's always with women and never with men.

Whether LDD has or has not ever had sex with a person of his own sex isn't relevant.

Lots of bisexual people have never had sex with someone who is of the same sex or even someone of the opposite sex, and the same can be said of gay and lesbian people. Come to think of it, isn't it suprising how many heterosexual people go to the grave never having had sex with one of the opposite gender? Lots of people never ever have sex, but that doesnt mean they arent whatever sexuality they are.

Asexuality isn't something I really understand or have come across. I don't think you can entirely understand it unless you are asexual and even then as I don't quite understand my own bisexuality, probably not entirely then either, and much of what I read seems to be confusing. It isn't the same as impotence, I understand that. Most people I know who have chosen not to have sex can't be classed as asexual, but the best I can come to grips with is that we all have very different sex drives some are highly sexed and even addicted, some much less so and have little or none. As there are degrees of personal sexuality so thereare degrees of personal sex drive. None of that should mean that we don't have a personal sexuality, should it?

[sammie19]

chastity and celebacy seem both to involve choice. [/I]



In my case it was a not so much a choice of being chaste it was whether I chose to allow myself to be caught.;)

[tenni]

"asexuals are still attracted to other people, regardless of the lack of sexual interaction because they are not sexually active with the person, they are referred to as sexuality romantics or in the case of asexuals that can be sexually active, they can use a defining term of sexual or romantic"

Give your formal source that uses language such as "sexuality romantics" please.

[tenni]

"Whether LDD has or has not ever had sex with a person of his own sex isn't relevant."

It is not relevant when the discussion is about asexuals in general but it is relevant when the OP writes from a position of expert and condemns sexual bisexual men for "giving in" to their sex drive and physical attraction to other men. It is relevant when the OP seems to be attemting to set himself up as a victim all while having attacked others for being sexual beings and bisexuals.

victim card statement ("it is merely the ignorance and judgemental nature of people that is a obstacle to us.... and that is no different to any other person that is judged by other people")

Since this thread is about asexuals in general, it is difficult when the OP plays this victim card approach. I would suspect that many asexuals are involved in their own issues and rarely would be commenting on sexual being's issues. It would seem to me that many asexuals wouldn't give a damn whether a woman dressed as a slut or not. They would not be sexually tempted nor concerned whether the woman wanted sex or just friendship. The asexual would not want to have sex.

From what I have read, asexuality has little scientifically analysed theory beyond that it exists. The ranges of how an asexual lives may be even broader than what is written about how sexual being bisexuals live. AVEN is not a scientific source but seems a little more pro active than bisexual.com is about bisexuality. AVEN has an educational aspect to promote greater understanding about asexuality.

When people think about bisexuality, the first thought would probably be about those people who have a physical sexual attraction towards both men and women. It would not be thoughts about emotional attraction to both men and women. It might include both physical and emotional attraction as a secondary thought or if the person was well aware of bisexuality. Asexuals just do not have the physical sexual attraction that many people associate with bisexuality. I think that it is best to discuss asexuality in comparison to the opposite of being a sexual being than heterosexual, bisexual or gay sexual orientation.

[Long Duck Dong]

I have answered both of you in about 9 different threads and you both are still at it......

grow up...... you both acting like immature children

the thread is for people to read and find answers for their own path.... if you two lil children want to troll it just to try and downgrade me yet again, be my guest......

in the same way that people can read the original post and go in search of more in depth answers for themselves... I will also let people decide about the behievour of you two ....

so troll away.....

[Long Duck Dong]

For sure. Being ruled, or at the very least, directed, by hormones is terrible!! I can see where there are benefits to the situation. As a "pre menopausal" woman, I am victim to my hormones. They are turning me into a strange person, lol. Not to make it about me, I just want to point out that i have some empathy from the other end, if you will.

So you can choose your relationships based on personality, intelligence, wit, etc., without letting the driving force of hormones carry you away?? Is that a correct statement? Not to say that you don't find people attractive, but when you do, it's akin to admiring a painting, perhaps? Or am I way off base??

it differs with asexuals, in the same way it differs with bisexuals....

some asexuals are drawn by looks and race, others by intelligence level and mannerisms, much like bisexuals can be..... but we are not really drawn by sexuality or genitalia......

communication is a big part of what draws me, I love eyes and voices and both are very expressive and tell a lot about a person... and yes personality is a big part.... I am trying to lead a quiet peaceful life cos most of my life has been full of arguments fights, conflict and now I just wanna mellow with friends

in males I perfer taller solid built males, with a gentleness around them, but strength.... a bit like michael clarke duncan

I am red / green colour blind and my partner has green eyes / red hair, so it was her voice that caught my attention and when she stayed with me for 3 months, I found that I was relaxed and settled in ways that I had not been for years......

the guy that has been my closest and longest male friend and sexual partner, is a couple of years old than me, and a person that was struggling with trying to be heterosexual for his parents, when he was clearly gay, so over the course of 5 years, i helped him find himself and taught him all about having sex with males.....

its something my partner knows about and she has spoken with him a few times.... so I consider myself very blessed......

I am sexual with my partner as its part of my partners needs, she is a sexual being, and we have enjoyed sex with feeldoes etc.. which I loved cos it is experience sharing....

[doorman2107]

Bisexuality= the ability to put your hand in someones pants and enjoy what ever you find.

[Long Duck Dong]

Lots of bisexual people have never had sex with someone who is of the same sex or even someone of the opposite sex, and the same can be said of gay and lesbian people. Come to think of it, isn't it suprising how many heterosexual people go to the grave never having had sex with one of the opposite gender? Lots of people never ever have sex, but that doesnt mean they arent whatever sexuality they are.

Asexuality isn't something I really understand or have come across. I don't think you can entirely understand it unless you are asexual and even then as I don't quite understand my own bisexuality, probably not entirely then either, and much of what I read seems to be confusing. It isn't the same as impotence, I understand that. Most people I know who have chosen not to have sex can't be classed as asexual, but the best I can come to grips with is that we all have very different sex drives some are highly sexed and even addicted, some much less so and have little or none. As there are degrees of personal sexuality so thereare degrees of personal sex drive. None of that should mean that we don't have a personal sexuality, should it?


yeah impotence is a seperate medical issue...... erectile dysfunction is a more common word for it.......

hypersexual is a general term for a person with a high sex drive.....asexuals are generally the other end of the scale, and originally asexuality was marks as x on the kinsey scale..... now its not... cos sex drive doesn't define sexuality.....

sex addict is a person with a compulsive desire for sex..... and while they can be hypersexual.... not all hypersexuals are sex addicts.....
its a bit like not all regular drinkers are alcohol addicted, but some alcohol addicts drink regularly......

celibates are people that choose a sexless life, and some are asexual, some are not.... its like priests that take a vow of celibacy and then have a mistress...... its simply cos celibacy is not for everybody.....

yeah i know, its still confusing as hell, which is why I posted the thread and the link for people to read and decide for themselves what best suited them

[sammie19]

Bisexuality= the ability to put your hand in someones pants and enjoy what ever you find.

Poopy undies or/and snotty tissues filed peppered with bogeys.:bigrin:

[tenni]

fyi Asexualitic.com dating site

I think that it is good that the OP started this thread. However, the OP made statements that don't align with other formal organizations connected with the asexuality aspect such as AVEN.

OP wrote
"I ID as a asexual bisexual, not bi asexual as some people mistakenly state regularly......"
AVEN states
"There is no reason why you have to identify as just one thing. You could decide to identify as a bi asexual or as polyamorous and asexual or as an asexual polyamorous bi person... or you could make up your own entirely new identity."
http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html#id1

Note AVEN uses "bi asexual" term and not asexual bisexual.

The OP may ID as he wishes but when communicating with others it might be best to find common language terms and not change/ flip all over the place as to how you state your beingness whenever it may prove a point that you are attempting to make. What is clear from his comments is that he doesn't understand being a sexual being and the ramifications of being a sexual bisexual with a strong physical attraction to both genders.

OP writes
"asexuals are no different to everybody else, we are able to *read * people, recognise flirting, interest and understand sexual interest"
AVEN states
"Figuring out how to flirt, to be intimate, or to be monogamous in a nonsexual relationships can be challenging,"
http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html

"Figuring out how to flirt being challenging" and "being able to read people who flirt" seems to be incongruous to me.

OP wrote
"there is a misunderstanding that a person is born asexual.."
AVEN states
"Most people on AVEN have been asexual for our entire lives. Just as people will rarely and unexpectedly go from being straight to gay, asexual people will rarely and unexpectedly become sexual or vice versa."
http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html

Another incongruous statement. Those who lose their sexual drive and want to be sexual are told by AVEN to seek out medical help. Those that do not chose to be sexual may live in a sexless state and perfectly happy and at peace. Whether they are asexual or not I do not know. The person may do as they are comfortable. Science will eventually decide. For now making such statements connected to this may be premature.

[DuckiesDarling]

Tenni, you really need to get over your obsession with my partner and me. Everytime we post something you try and rebutt it for no other reason than you just don't agree with us not because it has anything to do with any facts in evidence.

You are not named Drew, this is not your site. You have absolutely no right to tell anyone what they should post, how they should post, when they should post or whether or not they should belong to this site. You have an agenda that has become increasingly obvious and it just will not fly. You want to make the rules for the site, then go ante up the money and buy it from Drew cause everything that gets posted is within the only rules he set on this site. You have been informed by various other people that you are crossing the line with your continued attacks on me and my partner. You have been informed that some people have put you on ignore simply because of it. Now I am informing you that any more personal attacks against me or my partner will be sent to Drew to deal with. I have had enough of your superiority complex and I think most of the site has as well. You are no better or worse than us we are no better or worse than you, we are all just human.

[Bicuriousity]

Asexuality is interesting.

I save an extremely high sex drive, which i always thought was a byproduct of being bisexual or at least related ro it. This post reminds me again that we are all different. No two bisexuals are alike, lol!

[Light_and_Dark]

it differs with asexuals, in the same way it differs with bisexuals....

some asexuals are drawn by looks and race, others by intelligence level and mannerisms, much like bisexuals can be..... but we are not really drawn by sexuality or genitalia......

communication is a big part of what draws me, I love eyes and voices and both are very expressive and tell a lot about a person... and yes personality is a big part.... I am trying to lead a quiet peaceful life cos most of my life has been full of arguments fights, conflict and now I just wanna mellow with friends

in males I perfer taller solid built males, with a gentleness around them, but strength.... a bit like michael clarke duncan

I am red / green colour blind and my partner has green eyes / red hair, so it was her voice that caught my attention and when she stayed with me for 3 months, I found that I was relaxed and settled in ways that I had not been for years......

I am sexual with my partner as its part of my partners needs, she is a sexual being, and we have enjoyed sex with feeldoes etc.. which I loved cos it is experience sharing....

I am sorry as a straight man that does to much studying and not to be rude but i am in general an asshole but you are wrong on so many levels as this post contradicts the first.

The very generic definition of asexual is having sex with ones self. Hence asexual reproduction is referred to alot in science is the act is to have essentially sex with yourself and produce children. To be asexual means that you only have sexual desire for yourself. To state things that attract you sexually means you have those KINKS or FETISHES depending on your perspective. If i only get hard by looking at red heads for example as that is the only thing that turns me on whether male or female then that means i am pansexual with a kink for redheads. Now to say i am asexual means the only way i am getting a chubby is to stand in front of a mirror.

I understand that you might not view yourself as a pansexual or bisexual person and for sure based on your posts are not a heterosexual person but that does not mean you are not one of those groups...and that does not mean you have to apply a title to yourself that is not accurate. The most basic definition of asexuality is and for clarity i will post all four versions of the basic definitions.

–adjective
1. Biology .
a. having no sex or sexual organs.
b. independent of sexual processes, especially not involving the union of male and female germ cells.
2. free from or unaffected by sexuality: an asexual friendship.
.

— adj
1. having no apparent sex or sex organs
2. (of reproduction) not involving the fusion of male and female gametes, as in vegetative reproduction, fission, or budding
Medical Dictionary


asex·u·al definition
Pronunciation: /(ˈ)ā-ˈseksh-(ə-)wəl, -ˈsek-shəl/
Function: adj
1 : lacking sex or functional sexual organs
2 : produced without sexual action or differentiation < asexual spores>
1.Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless.

2.Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as in binary fission or budding.

3.Lacking interest in or desire for sex.


those are the DEFINITIONS again just because you do not believe you fall under the other categories does not mean you have the ability to insult true asexuals out there by stating that you are. As an asexual you would not have the ability to have sex with anyone but yourself. You are one of the normally mentioned categories you just have kinks mr. ldd.

Signed
Lord Of Light

[Long Duck Dong]

light and dark.....

could you post a dictionary defination that refers to human beings and mentions human beings, not germs, buds and vegetative reproduction....

your definition doesn't apply to humans, as your definition would be biologically impossible.... unless a person has the ability to self fertilise, internally, without the production of sperm and eggs.... and so far, its never been seen in a human being.....

your own defination rules out any person with sex organs, which is the majority of asexuals and leaves only eunuchs and ladies born without vaginas and other female genitalia
(–adjective
1. Biology .
a. having no sex or sexual organs. )

so when you want to talk about *true * asexuals, in respects to humans, exactly who are you referring to ????

[Light_and_Dark]

Another term for asexuals is someone with no sexual interest period as you only read part of my post i would appreciate it fi you go back and re read. As stated by you and multiple people low sex drive is not asexuality and that is true...As you also did not read all the definitions read this one to refer to HUMANS.

Function: adj
1 : lacking sex or functional sexual organs
2 : produced without sexual action or differentiation < asexual spores>
1.Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless.

2.Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as in binary fission or budding.

3.Lacking interest in or desire for sex.

by the very definition of the word Asexual means that outside of yourself you can gain no sexual pleasure.....if you gain sexual pleasure and stimuli....ie in order to be asexual you have to be unable to feel the desire for sexual stimuli.....

as you stated you are more of a pansexual with certain kinks and desires...ie communication and a few other things to be asexual means that ALL relationships must maintain a platonic only level....even if you marry your partner your relationship could only ever be platonic...but not by choice but by psychological reaction.

signed
Lord Of Light

[Long Duck Dong]

you light and dark.... you have just stated what I have been saying....

I lack a sex drive, I lack the hormonal and chemical reactions that are triggered in the human body, in regards to stimuli......it is something that can be tested for in a simple blood test.... and that is why it can be medically treated if I so choose, and its something I choose not to......

I am not have a low sex drive, I have NO sex drive....... I can have sex with my partner as a pre functional act, for her benefit... but I do not cum as I do not gain sexual pleasure from the act, I draw pleasure from her reactions as she is very sexual......

its something i have stated before... and having you post I am wrong, then clarify it by saying something, that matchs what I have said about myself, goes to show that its you that do not understand asexuality and how it works, but rely on websites and articles to understand something very different from your own lifestyle.... and use them to tell people that are asexual that they are wrong cos of the way you interpret a dictionary definition

if you look at the aven website I posted in the original post, and looked at the FAQ, you would have seen the following

" I masturbate. What do you make of that?

Most asexuals are physically capable of sex. Some masturbate and some don't. Masturbation produces a pleasurable sensation and as such many asexuals choose to use it to take pleasure from their bodies. Many asexuals can only arouse themselves manually (by applying friction to sexual organs), others can turn themselves on with thought.

The distinction between sexual and asexual people is that, if asexuals think about other people during masturbation (many asexuals don't think about anything specifically sexual) it is only as fantasy. If they actually were given the opportunity to be sexual with that person there would be no attraction, or the drive would be so low as to be completely ignorable.

Some asexuals may be considered autosexual, they have the drive to take pleasure from their own body. Other masturbating asexuals do not have a sexual drive motivating them, they just do it because it's nice. The common factor is that all asexuals, masturbating or not, have little or no sexual attraction to other people. "

I am pansexual as I am capable of having sex with many people, and in the past I was sexually active and had sex with males and females..... I use the term bi sexual as most people know that term

laying on my back as a bottom for somebodies pleasure is something I can do, its nothing to do with a sex drive.... it simply means I can lay on my back and let somebody else use my body for pleasure....... incidently, the same thing a woman can do, and many have done, for their partners benefit......

the same thing as doing the housework.... I get no pleasure out of it, but I still do it........

[BiDaveDtown]

OK so you are asexual and not bisexual at all.

So why do you claim that you somehow are bisexual when you have no sexual attraction at all to anyone?

[DuckiesDarling]

Interesting...since I've been on this site I've seen a lot of people arguing back and forth about whether bisexuality means being attracted to both genders or being able to be sexually active with either gender. Seems most people try to say it's not about actually having sex then you have someone that has actually had sex with both genders, can be in a relationship with both genders but not be sexually driven to have sex post a thread explaining it in clear terms. Then you see his sexual preferences being attacked... it's no wonder bisexuals have a hard time trying to make the LGBT take them seriously, since you can't even understand each other and always lash out with "then you aren't bi, then". Just amazing........

[BiDaveDtown]

Interesting...since I've been on this site I've seen a lot of people arguing back and forth about whether bisexuality means being attracted to both genders or being able to be sexually active with either gender. Seems most people try to say it's not about actually having sex then you have someone that has actually had sex with both genders, can be in a relationship with both genders but not be sexually driven to have sex post a thread explaining it in clear terms. Then you see his sexual preferences being attacked... it's no wonder bisexuals have a hard time trying to make the LGBT take them seriously, since you can't even understand each other and always lash out with "then you aren't bi, then". Just amazing........

Your boyfriend is asexual and has no sexual preference and is not bisexual at all, since he's asexual and has no sexual attraction at all to anyone.

Even he himself has said that he's asexual, as others have posted and quoted him.

You can't claim that you're asexual and have no sexual attraction to anyone and that you've never had sexual attraction at all and then turn around and say how this somehow makes you "bisexual" when you're not bisexual at all, never have been, and never will be since you lack sexual attraction to everyone.

People who are actual bisexuals do not have issues like this at all or lack sexual attraction or sexual desire at all and actual bisexuals have a sex drive and sexual attraction even if it may be low if they are on medication, older, or because of problems with hormones or depression and other mental health issues.

[DuckiesDarling]

Your boyfriend is asexual and has no sexual preference and is not bisexual at all, since he's asexual and has no sexual attraction at all to anyone.

Even he himself has said that he's asexual, as others have posted and quoted him.

You can't claim that you're asexual and have no sexual attraction to anyone and that you've never had sexual attraction at all and then turn around and say how this somehow makes you "bisexual" when you're not bisexual at all, never have been, and never will be since you lack sexual attraction to everyone.

People who are actual bisexuals do not have issues like this at all or lack sexual attraction or sexual desire at all and actual bisexuals have a sex drive and sexual attraction even if it may be low if they are on medication, older, or because of problems with hormones or depression and other mental health issues.

BiDaveDtown, worry about your own sexual life and I'll worry about mine. I know who and what my partner is. I have met two of the males he's had relationships with in the past and I have, unfortunately, met one of the females. I am female, I am in a monogamous relationship with a man who has had sexual relations in the past with both males and females, attraction doesn't even play into it. I happen to understand what asexual means and he posted it on this forum many times and finally in this thread to try and get certain individuals to understand. He lives with it, you don't. And for the record, his not having the drive doesn't affect his ability to get it up when my lips go around his cock or his ability to satisfy my every desire. So put that in your pipe and smoke it :)

Oh and for the record, it's amazing how you change from thread to thread on what makes a person bisexual...I could have sworn I have seen you posting many times over if a man has sex with another man he's bisexual regardless of what he says he is.

[Long Duck Dong]

let me get this right

I am a male that has no sex drive, has had sex with males and females and ID as a asexual bisexual

I am not allowed to id as bisexual as I have had sex with males and females.... but males that have sex with males, must be bisexual, as males that are not attracted to males, do not have sex with males......

there is a contradiction right there in stances... so can you trolls get your stories right please..... cos you are saying that I can not be what you are saying others have to be...... bisexual cos we have had sex with males.....

that brings us to the argument that the trolls have used that males that has sex with males are attracted to males, I said that you do not have to be sexually attracted to males to have sex with them.... the trolls argued that I was wrong, now the trolls are saying what I said and saying its correct, ... that I am a male that has no attraction to males even tho I have slept with them......

there is another contradiction in stances......

so either I am wrong in saying that I have had sex with males and females, there fore I am bisexual ( using the troll defination )....

or I am wrong for not saying I am not bisexual even tho I have had sex with males and females which makes a person bisexual ( using the troll defination )

tho I tend to think that I will be told I am wrong on both counts and that the trolls are right, and that would mean that bisexuals are not males that have sex with males and females, they are males that have sex with males and females........

hey ref.... can we have a ruling of BULLSHIT !!!!!!!!

the simple fact is that I have had sex with males and females, so i am clearly no hetero, I am not a lesbian, I am not gay, and that leaves bisexual / pansexual

now go ahead and argue that and contradict your opinions further cos I am finding it bloody hilarious.......

[maxtor]

i am kinda in a catch 22 also....i am not per sey attracted to males but i like to have sex with certain ones. i am more attracted to the sex part of it. i enjoy sucking and enjoy anal sex with a real cock. am not a romantic with males but enjoy the sex. i am attacted and romantic to females....and enjoy sex quite often with females even to the point of taking a strap on.


let me get this right

I am a male that has no sex drive, has had sex with males and females and ID as a asexual bisexual

I am not allowed to id as bisexual as I have had sex with males and females.... but males that have sex with males, must be bisexual, as males that are not attracted to males, do not have sex with males......

there is a contradiction right there in stances... so can you trolls get your stories right please..... cos you are saying that I can not be what you are saying others have to be...... bisexual cos we have had sex with males.....

that brings us to the argument that the trolls have used that males that has sex with males are attracted to males, I said that you do not have to be sexually attracted to males to have sex with them.... the trolls argued that I was wrong, now the trolls are saying what I said and saying its correct, ... that I am a male that has no attraction to males even tho I have slept with them......

there is another contradiction in stances......

so either I am wrong in saying that I have had sex with males and females, there fore I am bisexual ( using the troll defination )....

or I am wrong for not saying I am not bisexual even tho I have had sex with males and females which makes a person bisexual ( using the troll defination )

tho I tend to think that I will be told I am wrong on both counts and that the trolls are right, and that would mean that bisexuals are not males that have sex with males and females, they are males that have sex with males and females........

hey ref.... can we have a ruling of BULLSHIT !!!!!!!!

the simple fact is that I have had sex with males and females, so i am clearly no hetero, I am not a lesbian, I am not gay, and that leaves bisexual / pansexual

now go ahead and argue that and contradict your opinions further cos I am finding it bloody hilarious.......

[BiDaveDtown]

BiDaveDtown, worry about your own sexual life and I'll worry about mine. I know who and what my partner is. I have met two of the males he's had relationships with in the past and I have, unfortunately, met one of the females. I am female, I am in a monogamous relationship with a man who has had sexual relations in the past with both males and females, attraction doesn't even play into it. I happen to understand what asexual means and he posted it on this forum many times and finally in this thread to try and get certain individuals to understand. He lives with it, you don't. And for the record, his not having the drive doesn't affect his ability to get it up when my lips go around his cock or his ability to satisfy my every desire. So put that in your pipe and smoke it :)

Oh and for the record, it's amazing how you change from thread to thread on what makes a person bisexual...I could have sworn I have seen you posting many times over if a man has sex with another man he's bisexual regardless of what he says he is.

In those cases I was replying to men or writing in reply about people who, unlike Long Duck Dong, actually have sexual attraction to other people, are either gay or bisexual, and have actual sexual attraction to people and a sex drive which your boyfriend has neither of these things since he's asexual.

[DuckiesDarling]

In those cases I was replying to men or writing in reply about people who, unlike Long Duck Dong, actually have sexual attraction to other people, are either gay or bisexual, and have actual sexual attraction to people and a sex drive which your boyfriend has neither of these things since he's asexual.

You are confusing something really simple...so let me break it down for you. Drive vs Attraction. Go back and read the previous posts of LDD's in this thread and maybe you will understand.

[slipnslide]

Tenni, you really need to get over your obsession with my partner and me. Everytime we post something you try and rebutt it for no other reason than you just don't agree with us not because it has anything to do with any facts in evidence.

You are not named Drew, this is not your site. You have absolutely no right to tell anyone what they should post, how they should post, when they should post or whether or not they should belong to this site. You have an agenda that has become increasingly obvious and it just will not fly. You want to make the rules for the site, then go ante up the money and buy it from Drew cause everything that gets posted is within the only rules he set on this site. You have been informed by various other people that you are crossing the line with your continued attacks on me and my partner. You have been informed that some people have put you on ignore simply because of it. Now I am informing you that any more personal attacks against me or my partner will be sent to Drew to deal with. I have had enough of your superiority complex and I think most of the site has as well. You are no better or worse than us we are no better or worse than you, we are all just human.

His "attacks" are just laying out sense and reason. When person A talks nonsense, and person B points out the nonsense, you can't say person B is "attacking" anyone. Reasonable discourse would be impossible if that were the case. So rather than getting all huffy and acting like a child threatening to tell his mommy, why not simply be reasonable and present arguments with sources like Tenni does? Seems reasonable.

[BiDaveDtown]

You are confusing something really simple...so let me break it down for you. Drive vs Attraction. Go back and read the previous posts of LDD's in this thread and maybe you will understand.

I have read all the replies by LDD in this thread and there have been other threads where he writes about being asexual and not having a sexual attraction to anyone.

Right now both you and he are just waffling and claiming that he's not asexual when he's said multiple times before how he has no sexual attraction to anyone at all yet can perform sexually and how he is asexual.

It's impossible to be bisexual or sexually attracted to men, women, and/or trans people, and be asexual and lacking sexual drive and sexual desire for anyone at all regardless of their gender or sex.

[DuckiesDarling]

I have read all the replies by LDD in this thread and there have been other threads where he writes about being asexual and not having a sexual attraction to anyone.

Right now both you and he are just waffling and claiming that he's not asexual when he's said multiple times before how he has no sexual attraction to anyone at all yet can perform sexually and how he is asexual.

It's impossible to be bisexual or sexually attracted to men, women, and/or trans people, and be asexual and lacking sexual drive and sexual desire for anyone at all regardless of their gender or sex.

Obviously it's not impossible. Because LDD is. This is not a matter of preference like vanilla or chocolate, it's a matter of what he is vs your perception of what you are. Your mind can't comprehend there is something out there beyond cookie cutter modes of sexuality.

[Long Duck Dong]

I have read all the replies by LDD in this thread and there have been other threads where he writes about being asexual and not having a sexual attraction to anyone.

Right now both you and he are just waffling and claiming that he's not asexual when he's said multiple times before how he has no sexual attraction to anyone at all yet can perform sexually and how he is asexual.

It's impossible to be bisexual or sexually attracted to men, women, and/or trans people, and be asexual and lacking sexual drive and sexual desire for anyone at all regardless of their gender or sex.


It's impossible to be bisexual or sexually attracted to men, women, and/or trans people, and be asexual and lacking sexual drive and sexual desire for anyone at all regardless of their gender or sex.

exactly... NO SEX DRIVE !!!!!!! its what I have been bloody saying.......

you are too busy putting the sexual attraction part in, then contradicting it by saying its sex drive and sexual desire, not sexual attraction.......

you are telling me I am wrong by saying exactly what I am saying, I have no sex drive, which is correct, I have no sex drive.......

so basically I am wrong about having no sex drive cos you are right, I have no sex drive......

[BiDaveDtown]

Obviously it's not impossible. Because LDD is. This is not a matter of preference like vanilla or chocolate, it's a matter of what he is vs your perception of what you are. Your mind can't comprehend there is something out there beyond cookie cutter modes of sexuality.

Actually no, I know all about human sexuality.

Or in LDD's case lack of sexuality.

I'm not asexual like he is since unlike him I actually have sexual attraction to people. However this does not mean that it's impossible to be asexual as there are asexual people like long duck in the world. He should join the asexual community since he's not bisexual at all, and not a part of the GLBT community since he has no sexual attraction and no sexual desire to or for anyone at all unlike people who are GLBT and hetero do.

It's funny that a heterosexual woman who is in a completely monogamous relationship with an asexual man would try to claim something about how when people don't understand her boyfriend's asexuality or lack of sexual attraction, sexual desire, or sexual preference at all to anyone at all, that they somehow have a "cookie cutter" model of human sexuality. :rolleyes:

I agree with SlipnSlide, at least Tenni is making sense and posting actual logical points with evidence instead of just waffling, contradiction, and theory like you and LDD are about his asexuality.

I did check out the Asexual dating site that Tenni posted about and they do use the same language and write all about "platonic friends" like Long Duck Dong frequently writes about.

Long Duck you should be proud of being asexual since that's what you are and don't be ashamed and claim that you're "bisexual" since you're not at all and never have been.

[Long Duck Dong]

Actually no, I know all about human sexuality.

Or in LDD's case lack of sexuality.

I'm not asexual like he is since unlike him I actually have sexual attraction to people. However this does not mean that it's impossible to be asexual as there are asexual people like long duck in the world. He should join the asexual community since he's not bisexual at all, and not a part of the GLBT community since he has no sexual attraction and no sexual desire to or for anyone at all unlike people who are GLBT and hetero do.

It's funny that a heterosexual woman who is in a completely monogamous relationship with an asexual man would try to claim something about how when people don't understand her boyfriend's asexuality or lack of sexual attraction, sexual desire, or sexual preference at all to anyone at all, that they somehow have a "cookie cutter" model of human sexuality. :rolleyes:

I agree with SlipnSlide, at least Tenni is making sense and posting actual logical points with evidence instead of just waffling, contradiction, and theory like you and LDD are about his asexuality.

I did check out the Asexual dating site that Tenni posted about and they do use the same language and write all about "platonic friends" like Long Duck Dong frequently writes about.

Long Duck you should be proud of being asexual since that's what you are and don't be ashamed and claim that you're "bisexual" since you're not at all and never have been.

snorts..... keep arguing yourself into a corner, cos its hilarious....

reading back through the thread, makes interesting reading....

I see 3-4 different people all saying different things and all saying I am wrong.....

I am not worried about who is right.... but waiting to see who is going to tell the others they are wrong.... as all of you can not all be right when you are all saying different things about the same thing.....

the only way that any of you are going to be able to say the others are right is to reverse your own statements and say that you are wrong and as far as you all are concerned, you are all right.... and saying that yes I am asexual but no I am not asexual, yes I have had bisexual sex, but no its not bisexual sex, yes, males that have sex with other males are bisexual but no not all males that have sex with other males are bisexual etc etc

none of it changes the fact I lack a sex drive and have had sex with males and females.... and that fits a bisexual and asexual defination

so enjoy telling me I am wrong.... cos honestly I could not give a shit......its my life, my label, your problem with it

[slipnslide]

Let's all start calling ourselves billionaires. Is it accurate? Not for me, but that's the label I choose and I don't appreciate you telling me I'm not.

[Maggot]

Well LDD, I know where you're coming from. My husband is asexual/straight. It took a long time and some rocky times to figure things out. Despite being emotionally/romantically attracted to women, he has no interest in having sex with them, or even fantasizing in a sexual way about them. Self included. Like yourself, he can go through the motions, he enjoys the emotional connection and the cuddling but gets no pleasure from the act of sex itself.

[drugstore cowboy]

Obviously it's not impossible. Because LDD is. This is not a matter of preference like vanilla or chocolate, it's a matter of what he is vs your perception of what you are. Your mind can't comprehend there is something out there beyond cookie cutter modes of sexuality.

Duckies Darling-You're claiming that someone has a "cookie cutter" idea about sexuality when

you've wrote things like this?


Straight, bi, gay... men are the same. Sex is sex, a hole is a hole and when they aren't getting what they want they will take what they get. It includes all men who are looking for sex, Justlooking. *smiles sweetly*

Long Duck the circular logic isn't working. Nobody's fooled, you're asexual no matter what you self identify as or want label yourself as.

If you were actually bisexual you'd have sexual attraction to both genders. You yourself have said how you have no sexual attraction to anyone at all and that you're asexual.

Just because you wish to be bisexual or even label yourself and self identify as bisexual, that does not make it true.

It's like SlipnSlide said he and I can call ourselves a billionaires all either of us want but the truth is he's not and I'm not.

[Long Duck Dong]

Well LDD, I know where you're coming from. My husband is asexual/straight. It took a long time and some rocky times to figure things out. Despite being emotionally/romantically attracted to women, he has no interest in having sex with them, or even fantasizing in a sexual way about them. Self included. Like yourself, he can go through the motions, he enjoys the emotional connection and the cuddling but gets no pleasure from the act of sex itself.

:bigrin: yeah having a partner that understands and accepts us is awesome..... its a hard road learning about ourselves, specially when we do not fit the mold, and it can be hard on our partners to understand that we love them, want them, need them and that there is nothing wrong with them..... its just we have asexual natures

I enjoy my partner knowing that she matters as a person to me, more than just a sexual partner or a person to have sex with..... its part of what has made our relationship stronger and more resilient .

I do have the option of medical treatment to create a sex drive.... and that would have me being sexually active again.... but no thank you.....I am content with my life the way it is.... no complications.... and its helped me gain some very very good friends

[DuckiesDarling]

Well LDD, I know where you're coming from. My husband is asexual/straight. It took a long time and some rocky times to figure things out. Despite being emotionally/romantically attracted to women, he has no interest in having sex with them, or even fantasizing in a sexual way about them. Self included. Like yourself, he can go through the motions, he enjoys the emotional connection and the cuddling but gets no pleasure from the act of sex itself.

Thank you, Maggot for actually being able to point out to people that asexuals do exist and can be in relationships. My man is just like yours except he is the bi and I'm the straight. He enjoys making me cum and of course I enjoy cumming for him.

[tenni]

"I am female, I am in a monogamous relationship with a man who has had sexual relations in the past with both males and females, attraction doesn't even play into it. I happen to understand what asexual means and he posted it on this forum many times and finally in this thread to try and get certain individuals to understand. He lives with it, you don't. And for the record, his not having the drive doesn't affect his ability to get it up when my lips go around his cock or his ability to satisfy my every desire. So put that in your pipe and smoke it "

Madam
Admittedly, you know your partner better than we do.

Based on both your posts and what organizations and scientists state, your partner seems more specifically to be a biromantic asexual and not a bisexual according to some sources. He misinterprets what asexual organizations and scientists state. He is also inarticulate and posts ramblings placing himself as if an expert on those with a sex drive. He sees it as his role to attack and be critical of sexual bisexual men who he shows no empathy or understanding about. That is understandable to a point as he is asexual and that is affecting his perceptions. What is not acceptable is his pejorative comments about bisexual men and sexual relations (not emotional relationships where he is often very good and observant).

He may call himself whatever he wishes as AVEN states but wouldn't it be wiser for an asexual to comment on emotional attraction only as far as bisexuals are concerned? He already calls himself a duck and so that is fine if he wants to post that he is an asexual duck.

The term Asexual exists only unofficially and has a lose generic understanding. It is amazing that the two of you know what "asexual" means when scientists state that they do not and will not specifically define the word in relationship to sexual orientation?

[tenni]

i am kinda in a catch 22 also....i am not per sey attracted to males but i like to have sex with certain ones. i am more attracted to the sex part of it. i enjoy sucking and enjoy anal sex with a real cock. am not a romantic with males but enjoy the sex. i am attacted and romantic to females....and enjoy sex quite often with females even to the point of taking a strap on.

The point maxtor is that you are a sexual being and not asexual. You are a sexual bisexual. Many, many sexual bisexual men are only interested in the sexual attraction and a body part...most often the cock. There is no emotional attraction to men for these bisexuals. They are most commonly understood to be bisexual.

Lately, I've been reading a scientific academic paper Briar Rose mentioned on another thread. The writer states that bisexual is at its simpliest desire for both genders for sex as in a sexual appetite or lust. He does not factor in an emotional (romantic) attraction as being part of a definition for bisexuality. Others do define emotional attraction as a possibility for being bisexual but again, emotional (romantic) attraction is never given as a priority and it is an option that some bisexuals have. Bisexuality is almost always referenced as a sexual attraction to both genders.

[drugstore cowboy]

"I am female, I am in a monogamous relationship with a man who has had sexual relations in the past with both males and females, attraction doesn't even play into it. I happen to understand what asexual means and he posted it on this forum many times and finally in this thread to try and get certain individuals to understand. He lives with it, you don't. And for the record, his not having the drive doesn't affect his ability to get it up when my lips go around his cock or his ability to satisfy my every desire. So put that in your pipe and smoke it "

Madam
Admittedly, you know your partner better than we do.

Based on both your posts and what organizations and scientists state, your partner seems more specifically to be a biromantic asexual and not a bisexual according to some sources. He misinterprets what asexual organizations and scientists state. He is also inarticulate and posts ramblings placing himself as if an expert on those with a sex drive. He sees it as his role to attack and be critical of sexual bisexual men who he shows no empathy or understanding about. That is understandable to a point as he is asexual and that is affecting his perceptions. What is not acceptable is his pejorative comments about bisexual men and sexual relations (not emotional relationships where he is often very good and observant).

He may call himself whatever he wishes as AVEN states but wouldn't it be wiser for an asexual to comment on emotional attraction only as far as bisexuals are concerned? He already calls himself a duck and so that is fine if he wants to post that he is an asexual duck.

The term Asexual exists only unofficially and has a lose generic understanding. It is amazing that the two of you know what "asexual" means when scientists state that they do not and will not specifically define the word in relationship to sexual orientation?

Excellent point Tenni.

Someone who is asexual is not bisexual at all.

[Pasadenacpl2]

You can keep repeating that lie. Doesn't make it true.

A lack of sex drive does not have anything to do with our sexual identity. My wife has almost no sex drive. She's still straight. My mom hasn't had sex in 20 years, she's still straight. The reduced levels of hormones required for the need to have sex has nothing to do with who or what we are willing to have sex with should those hormones be present.

You, and Tenni need to give it a rest. You are a troll. Tenni is approaching being a troll. Hell, I'm not even sure that you aren't a Tenni alt account.

Pasa

[tenni]

Pasa
I agree with you that asexuality has nothing to do with being bisexual but then there is a term for being both. It is biromantic asexual. The scientific decisions have not been made. There is no clear scientific position on asexuality other than it exists. (based on what I have read)

Someone may call themself a bisexual who is asexual. Rarely do we read of a person stating that they are a sexual bisexual but that is true as much as an asexual bisexual. The numbers of people who identify as bisexual without even considering that they are not asexual is near zero (I would guess)

Based on what I've read asexuals do not "become" asexual according to the site AVEN which is a support site for asexuals. There is a position that it exists from birth. Low to near no sex drive due to medical condition is not necessarily mean that you are asexual. The debate on that is as valid as the debate that bisexuals and gays are born that way rather than "become gay or bisexual".

I'm not quite sure what you wish to be given a rest? I assume that it is not about not discussing being a sexual being or being an asexual being? If it is about a person on this site who claims to be asexual, there is much that can be written about whether he is or is not asexual. It really doesn't matter to me until he uses whatever label of the day suits him to make himself look "important" or present himself as a victim.

Calling me a "near "troll" is a personal attack and perhaps a strategy to dismiss my views as invalid. Please read the rules as you have been banned once before for your behaviour.

[Diva667]

Lack of sex drive does not invalidate someones sexual identity.

There are known to be several medications which reduce/ eliminate someones sex drive, it doesn't make the person involved into something which they are not.

LDD identifies as bisexual , that is enough for me. Nor is it up to any of us (save for LDD himself) to determine his sexuality. It is neither our right or our concern.

A writer I admire recently put it like this:"People who wish to discredit those they disagree with, rather than engage in honest and serious debate with them, always seem to play the “real” card. This is why some right-wing conservatives claim that Obama is not a “real American,” or that liberals are not “real patriots.” It is why people will claim that hip-hop, or rock-and-roll, or any other music they do not like, is not “real music.” "

[drugstore cowboy]

You can keep repeating that lie. Doesn't make it true.

A lack of sex drive does not have anything to do with our sexual identity. My wife has almost no sex drive. She's still straight. My mom hasn't had sex in 20 years, she's still straight. The reduced levels of hormones required for the need to have sex has nothing to do with who or what we are willing to have sex with should those hormones be present.

You, and Tenni need to give it a rest. You are a troll. Tenni is approaching being a troll. Hell, I'm not even sure that you aren't a Tenni alt account.

Pasa

I'm not lying about anything.

LDD frequently writes about how he's never had any sexual attraction to anyone or any desire for sex, and how he is asexual and not bisexual.

That's nice that your wife and mother have low sex drives; but what's your point?

They're not asexual since asexuality is not a hormonal imbalance or a low sex drive.

They're hetero women who just happen to have low sex drives or a hormonal imbalance as you said. These things do not make them asexual.

[tenni]

Lack of sex drive does not invalidate someones sexual identity.

There are known to be several medications which reduce/ eliminate someones sex drive, it doesn't make the person involved into something which they are not.

LDD identifies as bisexual , that is enough for me. Nor is it up to any of us (save for LDD himself) to determine his sexuality. It is neither our right or our concern.

A writer I admire recently put it like this:"People who wish to discredit those they disagree with, rather than engage in honest and serious debate with them, always seem to play the “real” card. This is why some right-wing conservatives claim that Obama is not a “real American,” or that liberals are not “real patriots.” It is why people will claim that hip-hop, or rock-and-roll, or any other music they do not like, is not “real music.” "


I agree with you up to a point Diva. Removing the person's name and discussing the issue is more important. An asexual person may perceive themselves as any sexuality and they may be correct or they may be wrong. Asexuality has not been determined to be anything by scientists but there is the possibility that it may be determined to be a sexuality as well.

However, sexuality is based upon the basic idea of sex. The issue of a person not having a sex drive does impact on their perceptions about sex acts whether they are with a same sex partner or cross sexed person. When an asexual makes strong statements about sex acts and those sex acts factor in the person's sex drive and urges, that asexual is out of line and understanding. That is what has happened on this site before you were a member.

When an asexual makes statements about having had a sex drive and having lost the sex drive due to an illness in one post. Then in another post the same asexual makes statements about masturbating not to release sexual energy drive because he didn't have a sex drive as a teen but to release a migrane headache as a teen, there is a contradiction with the first statement about having a sex drive and lost it. There are multiple situations and comments about "expertise" etc. that makes me see this self identified asexual as a person of less than credible source.

[BiDaveDtown]

Lack of sex drive does not invalidate someones sexual identity.

There are known to be several medications which reduce/ eliminate someones sex drive, it doesn't make the person involved into something which they are not.

LDD identifies as bisexual , that is enough for me. Nor is it up to any of us (save for LDD himself) to determine his sexuality. It is neither our right or our concern. [/I]

That's nice in theory but it does not hold up in actual reality when it comes to someone's actual sexual orientation.

I can hypothetically self identify as a Hetero/straight black Transgender woman and in your mind it would be perfectly OK to do this and I simply am a Hetero/straight black Trans woman because I want to be and that's how I self identify, even though in reality I'm clearly a white bisexual male who is not Trans at all.

Just because someone claims that they are a certain sexual orientation it does not mean that it's always true or that this is their actual sexual orientation.

We all know of gay men and lesbians who know that they're gay/lesbian and yet call themselves "bisexual" even though they are not bisexual at all.

There are also bisexual people and gay men who call themselves "straight" even though they know that they're gay, they're confused about their sexuality, or are in denial about their sexuality.

In the case of LDD he's asexual and not bisexual or any other sexual orientation since he has no sexual attraction to anyone at all.

You can argue until you're blue in the labia about how longduck is somehow "bisexual" and that this is somehow theoretically true just because you wish it to be so, but he's came out as asexual and self identified as asexual and written about his asexuality very frequently and how he's not bisexual and has no sexual attraction to anyone despite their gender hence he's asexual.

[pepperjack]

Thank you for sharing that. I have seen you post that you are asexual and pansexual and was not sure what you meant, and didn't want to pry.

It would almost seem liberating to enjoy people for who they are, not just for their pheromones.

sounds like ur trying to describe sexual apathy when a man is stressed or more especially, depressed, because when a man is stressed the first thing to go is his sex drive

[Long Duck Dong]

I agree with you up to a point Diva. Removing the person's name and discussing the issue is more important. An asexual person may perceive themselves as any sexuality and they may be correct or they may be wrong. Asexuality has not been determined to be anything by scientists but there is the possibility that it may be determined to be a sexuality as well.

However, sexuality is based upon the basic idea of sex. The issue of a person not having a sex drive does impact on their perceptions about sex acts whether they are with a same sex partner or cross sexed person. When an asexual makes strong statements about sex acts and those sex acts factor in the person's sex drive and urges, that asexual is out of line and understanding. That is what has happened on this site before you were a member.

When an asexual makes statements about having had a sex drive and having lost the sex drive due to an illness in one post. Then in another post the same asexual makes statements about masturbating not to release sexual energy drive because he didn't have a sex drive as a teen but to release a migrane headache as a teen, there is a contradiction with the first statement about having a sex drive and lost it. There are multiple situations and comments about "expertise" etc. that makes me see this self identified asexual as a person of less than credible source.

ok.... again with clearing up issues... and misunderstanding......

read aven, it talks about asexuals that masturbate, so get over it already

masturbation and orgasm triggers a chemical change in the brain, hence the saying * sex is the best thing for a headache *.... so what I do is actually based around medical facts......

my lack of sex drive is a chemical issue, its been verified, as I have been medically tested....and it can be * corrected * if I so choose, which I do not.... so its not a illness, its a chemical issue...... the same thing can be found in males with a low testorone count... its not a illness its a chemical issue.....

can not help but notice the thread is not about asexuality, being asexual, living as a asexual, or finding understanding and companionship and while it may be a bisexual forum, there have been a few people that have been able to see that there are others out there that share the same attraction to both genders, but are not needing to be * sexual * but how to find ways to rubbish a member in the site.....and people wonder why less and less people are posting in the site with their issues and problems... its cos they get rubbished by the same 3 opinionated * experts *

[tenni]

"I'd like to state here and now that I think my sexual orientation is an unrecognized fourth categorization, along with heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual. It isn't an "undecided" or a "none of the above"; it is actually a legitimate fourth choice--it is not "no sexual orientation," but rather a "sexual orientation of 'no.'" No thank you; please pass the potatoes. I propose that if a person has no interest, it does not necessarily indicate a psychological issue, a physical problem, or an active sexual orientation that has just been buried. It is a fourth option, and I am tired of choosing *C) bisexual* just because it is the closest to describing me (yes, I like both sexes in my bed equally--not at all!).

I don't have any interest in us getting our own parade or awareness week, but while I'm not out for conversion, I do certainly have "pride." I'd like others out there to know that I exist, that others of my kind exist, and that they may actually not be damaged or disturbed; they may just be one of us. A normal fourth sexuality. "

a quote from a poster on AVEN
http://www.asexuality.org/home/node/26

[Jobelorocks]

I always find it funny when other people somehow think it is their right to define the sexuality of another. It is like homo/hetero-sexuals telling bisexuals they really aren't bi, or that it is a stage. I would never tell someone what sexuality they are. If they ask what I think they may be, I will give my opinion that I think best fits given the available information. I wouldn't put up with someone telling me what my sexuality is, so why would I do that to someone else? There is more to identity of sexuality than who you want to have sex with, but also who you have romantic attractions to as well. Who are we to tell someone what they feel?

[DuckiesDarling]

I always find it funny when other people somehow think it is their right to define the sexuality of another. It is like homo/hetero-sexuals telling bisexuals they really aren't bi, or that it is a stage. I would never tell someone what sexuality they are. If they ask what I think they may be, I will give my opinion that I think best fits given the available information. I wouldn't put up with someone telling me what my sexuality is, so why would I do that to someone else? There is more to identity of sexuality than who you want to have sex with, but also who you have romantic attractions to as well. Who are we to tell someone what they feel?

Bingo, but as you can see from the post directly above yours... there are always a few on any site that feel they can tell others to do as they say not as they do. The above person I'm referencing is very vocal about who is or is not welcome here, very vocal about who is or is not bisexual. Very vocal about more bisexuals being visible while posting that he doesn't let others know he is bisexual. Amazingly hypocritical isn't it? But thankfully most on this site are not like that, and they have no issues with understanding that there are other sexualities who have interests in the bisexual world through partners and friends.

[LastGent]

This thread is giving me gastroenteritis. Would everyone please cease arguing so I can engage in non-sexually arousing cuddling with Long Duck Dong?