Query

[Paul B.]

Does anyone else feel that posters of personal profiles within the same area are paranoid that details of any encounters they may have with other members within that same geographical area may end up as gossip/attacks within chat or this forum & for that reason refrain from said contact?

[elian]

I guess that some people might worry about that, I don't post in the personals section but I have dated a few people on this site who have experience with each other. The people I have dated have been mature enough to offer their opinions as adults. Anything anyone ever said to me was done in private confidence and was not a "personal attack".

Of course your mileage may vary and just like any other online site I would encourage you to get to know someone as much as possible online before you get to know them offline and get to know them offline before you decide to sleep with them..it only makes sense. Everyone is on their own path in life and has their own personal experiences that may make them the best fit in the world for you, or not a good fit at all.

I see lots of "all-but-personal-attacks" in the forums as certain people seem to snipe at each other there regularly. I am not sure why they do this, maybe it is a clash of different personality types or something. LGBT people ought to know what it feels like to be discriminated against and you think they would be forgiving. Even so none of them have resorted to insulting each other's sexual characteristics in a childish way.

If you ask them they would probably say they are just freely expressing an opinion - and they are probably right but sometimes people seem to come back to old wounds like a lion with a thorn in its paw. They are hurting, frozen in time and keep repeating the same behavior trying to find a way to heal and can't maybe without the compassion of someone or something else to guide them..

[jem_is_bi]

I guess that some people might worry about that, I don't post in the personals section but I have dated a few people on this site who have experience with each other. The people I have dated have been mature enough to offer their opinions as adults. Anything anyone ever said to me was done in private confidence and was not a "personal attack".

Of course your mileage may vary and just like any other online site I would encourage you to get to know someone as much as possible online before you get to know them offline and get to know them offline before you decide to sleep with them..it only makes sense. Everyone is on their own path in life and has their own personal experiences that may make them the best fit in the world for you, or not a good fit at all.

I see lots of "all-but-personal-attacks" in the forums as certain people seem to snipe at each other there regularly. I am not sure why they do this, maybe it is a clash of different personality types or something. LGBT people ought to know what it feels like to be discriminated against and you think they would be forgiving. Even so none of them have resorted to insulting each other's sexual characteristics in a childish way.

If you ask them they would probably say they are just freely expressing an opinion - and they are probably right but sometimes people seem to come back to old wounds like a lion with a thorn in its paw. They are hurting, frozen in time and keep repeating the same behavior trying to find a way to heal and can't maybe without the compassion of someone or something else to guide them..

That definitely is what I have observed over and over again.
Nevertheless, we all need a reasonable amount of criticism of our behavior to keep us aware of our faults such that we improve our behavior. So you just have to take that into consideration in those cases. Because, (sometimes), it seems to actually add some control to over-large egos.
So, while I have seen a few attacks from those that were loved and then were scorned, do not worry to much about that issue, if all else is good after following the advise of elian on getting to know them.

[Bisexual Explorer]

I too have noted an increase in vitriol in the forum postings. I don't chat, so I can't make any observations there. Often these exchanges get off the topic and are just plain boring. The anonimity of the internet seems to encourage people to write things they would not have the courage to say to someone's face. As far as restricting your participation, remember, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but postings never harm me."

It's good policy to put only as much personal information in your profile as you feel comfortable with. As far meeting someone, you've got no choice but to get out there.

g

[Gearbox]

Does anyone else feel that posters of personal profiles within the same area are paranoid that details of any encounters they may have with other members within that same geographical area may end up as gossip/attacks within chat or this forum & for that reason refrain from said contact?
I think it's more to do with the paranoid bi's personal area. They prefer to meet 'out of towners' than locals. That way their private life is safer.

[softfruit]

I'm sure there are people living very discreet lives where that is the case.

On the other hand, there are people like myself who are more likely to respond the more local someone is!

So a local contact is probably worth a quick hello :)

[RockGardener]

I have met people from all over the country, both local and traveling. Some meetups were better than others, some sexual, some not. I have never had a problem with anyone gossiping or attacking me, in forums or in chat.

Just realized, OP was talking about public profiles. (I think)

When I lived in Central Florida, and wasn't totally out, I would sometimes hide my profile, and I didn't have the name of my small town anywhere. I didn't want to meet anyone local, for fear of recriminations in the community. Now that I am in Colorado, I am out. It would be nice to meet local people. But on the other hand, now that I am not on the down-low, I meet plenty of people without the need of the interwebs. My gaydar and bidar works pretty good these days.