Katja
May 9, 2011, 8:12 AM
I received a wedding invitation at the weekend for some friends who have known and gone out with only each other and this they have done since their high school days. Indeed they have always been close ever since they first met at age 7, and have considered themselves bf/gf since they were not much older. They are both 19 years old and will marry on her 20th birthday.
It is an odd thing but it never fails to surprise me quite how many couples meet at a young age and end up married or living together, or settle down with what is their first real boy or girl friend. It is something which never occurred to me at a young age and boy friends came and went with monotonous regularity, and it was at university before I met and married my ex-husband. Therein lies a tale in itself which proves that no matter how many boy friends we may have no relationship is infallible. It was a similar if less frequent story when I discovered girls. I was 26 before I ever thought of settling down with one and that soon passed for reasons outwith my control.
I do not judge or criticise couples who feel that their first ever boy or girl friend is the one for them, and who marry, have children and try and make a life for themselves. Having one or many courtships does not mean a couple will be happy or unhappy, or whether the relationship will survive, but do feel that they miss out on so much of what life has to offer and am of the opinion that some experience of sewing wild oats, not necessarily through sexual experience, makes people more rounded and better able to cope with the stresses of relationships. First love, without the wisdom that 'playing the field' should (but does not allways) bring, can become a very fragile thing when things begin to go wrong.
I have seen the debris that is left when such relationships do go wrong, and the devastation felt by one or other, sometimes both partners because they are not resilient enough to overcome the pain, and the mental scars so much more difficult to deal with.
A first love lifetime relationship can be incredibly strong and can overcome almost anything, but for most people it is a tragedy just waiting to happen. All relationships can be fragile, but those who have had a number of boy and/or girl friends are probably better able to to live through break-up without quite the level of mental anguish of those who have been childhood or first lovers.
There is no hard and fast rule about what relationships will survive. In the end it comes down to two people committed to each other and working together to make things work. I think those who have had a number of relationship when young are better able to get through because of their experiences.
I wish my young friends well, for I am fond of both and want nothing but happiness and joy for them throughout all of their lives. Yet I have some foreboding for the future and knowing them as I do, they have little or no idea yet about the real world, and the great, hard knocks it has in store for them. Love is not to be viewed out of red tinted spectacles, and that I feel is the very real danger of 'first love' relationships.
It is an odd thing but it never fails to surprise me quite how many couples meet at a young age and end up married or living together, or settle down with what is their first real boy or girl friend. It is something which never occurred to me at a young age and boy friends came and went with monotonous regularity, and it was at university before I met and married my ex-husband. Therein lies a tale in itself which proves that no matter how many boy friends we may have no relationship is infallible. It was a similar if less frequent story when I discovered girls. I was 26 before I ever thought of settling down with one and that soon passed for reasons outwith my control.
I do not judge or criticise couples who feel that their first ever boy or girl friend is the one for them, and who marry, have children and try and make a life for themselves. Having one or many courtships does not mean a couple will be happy or unhappy, or whether the relationship will survive, but do feel that they miss out on so much of what life has to offer and am of the opinion that some experience of sewing wild oats, not necessarily through sexual experience, makes people more rounded and better able to cope with the stresses of relationships. First love, without the wisdom that 'playing the field' should (but does not allways) bring, can become a very fragile thing when things begin to go wrong.
I have seen the debris that is left when such relationships do go wrong, and the devastation felt by one or other, sometimes both partners because they are not resilient enough to overcome the pain, and the mental scars so much more difficult to deal with.
A first love lifetime relationship can be incredibly strong and can overcome almost anything, but for most people it is a tragedy just waiting to happen. All relationships can be fragile, but those who have had a number of boy and/or girl friends are probably better able to to live through break-up without quite the level of mental anguish of those who have been childhood or first lovers.
There is no hard and fast rule about what relationships will survive. In the end it comes down to two people committed to each other and working together to make things work. I think those who have had a number of relationship when young are better able to get through because of their experiences.
I wish my young friends well, for I am fond of both and want nothing but happiness and joy for them throughout all of their lives. Yet I have some foreboding for the future and knowing them as I do, they have little or no idea yet about the real world, and the great, hard knocks it has in store for them. Love is not to be viewed out of red tinted spectacles, and that I feel is the very real danger of 'first love' relationships.