I feel alive!

[JinJan]

Hi, all...I just wanted to say that, since the recent realization that I am probably bisexual, I have been feeling more "liberated"...and alive! I am happier, and it is showing in my interactions with my hubby, too.

I am enjoying some new "firsts"...buying more men's clothes, and not worrying about it...enjoying looking at the pic that I took, of the lady to whom I am attracted...and just feeling "lighter" about life, in general.

Well, that was all I wanted to say...I came close to telling my hubby, over the last couple of days...we shall see. Take care, all...JinJan.

[coyotedude]

Good for you! :)

Best wishes to you on this new journey for you...

Peace

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Buying more men's clothes? I'm happy for ya Sweetie, but I'm also confused...
Cat

[NEPHX]

Buying more men's clothes? I'm happy for ya Sweetie, but I'm also confused...
Cat

I don't think its you that's confused Cat.... maybe there are gender considerations for JinJan. It seems that path for her journey might be branching.

[JinJan]

So, apparently, you two are suggesting, that most bi's, don't wear "opposite sex" clothing? They dress just as the sex that they are, physically? Then, I guess I am a bit different. I have looked into transgendered, but don't feel that that fits me, either. Maybe I should find a different forum...I don't want to freak folks out, here, if my feelings are different, than the others here. I had thought I had read about many differing kinds of feelings here, and it seemed to me, that bisexualism, had a broad definition...I guess not this broad, huh? Please enlighten me. Thanks. JinJan.

I just re-read my post here, and, I apologize, if I sound too defensive...I guess, being new to all of these different feelings, I am feeling a bit vulnerable, and felt scared all of a sudden, that I don't "fit" into the definition of "bi". I have read many posts here, and I understand that "labels" shouldn't be a big deal...and eventually, I think I will agree...it's just that I have now gone from being hetero, to bi, to now, possibly, something else! Again, sorry! I am just still "processing" a lot. Thanks for putting up with me! JJ.

[niftyshellshock]

JinJan, we're all bi here (and a few straight folk in the flanks), and though our personal preferences may differ, from my time here I realize that this is a place where you can be open about your feelings.

None of us will judge you, and if one of us those, the rest will jump on him immediately.


I'll only judge you if you're a Lakers fan.

;)

[coyotedude]

JinJan,

No worries. You have a lot to process, and we're here to help you with that.

It's absolutely true that "bisexuality" can be defined broadly. In fact, we bisexuals don't necessarily agree on what being "bi" really means! Bisexuality can cover a wide variety of feelings, thoughts, and behavior.

However, bisexuality is typically defined as a sexual orientation rather than a gender identity. That is, being bi usually means you are attracted at some level (sexually or romantically) to people of either physical gender.

You may also hear the term "pansexuality", which recognizes that we may also be attracted to people whose psychological gender may not match the physical gender they were born with.

Gender identity, on the other hand, has more to do with how we see ourselves in terms of gender and how we relate to the world in the gender role we assume.

So as you noted, most bisexuals do not regularly dress in opposite gender clothing, even though they may be attracted to both men and women in some fashion.

Although you posted that you don't feel that you fit under the transgendered label, some of your other comments could lead the rest of us to wonder whether you are also facing some questions regarding your own gender identity.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! And you're not going crazy. It sounds to me like you're currently in a process of self-discovery, which can be both liberating and scary as hell.

If there is anything we can do to help you in your journey, just let us know. Many of us have been where you are at now. We may not have all the answers, but if nothing else we can provide an ear to listen with and a shoulder to cry on when necessary.

Peace

[Long Duck Dong]

jinjan..... I was pansexual before I ever heard the different sexuality terms like pansexual, omnisexual, bisexual etc etc

I saw no difference between the genders nor trans people.... to me they were all people.... and the only difference for me, was the unique differences such as music, movies etc etc, to me it was how they enjoyed and how they dressed was how they felt comfortable.....


do not live life trying to fit into a mold, live life for you, for your desires dreams, hopes ..... be who you want to be, not what you are expected to be, dress how you want to dress, smile when you want to smile, cry when you want to cry, laugh when you want to laugh..... and be jinjan cos you are jinjan.. don't be the jinjan that conforms to what society wants jinjan to be

if every person lived according to what we were expected to be, in order to *conform* we would be pansexuals that would marry with 2.4 kids, a house with a white picket fence, go to church on sundays, remain monogamous while enjoying a open marriage, we would only eat healthy food, never drink or smoke or drive a big car, we would all be in the armed forces and ready to defend our country while refusing to fight in combat or see live action
we would happily express our opinions and never say anything that could be deemed as rude, wrong, offensive, disagreement, contradictry to public opinion, judgemental or degrading.
we would never have bad days, off days, sick days. we would always be smiling and happy and full of love and light......

oh yes... what a perfect world.... and I would be so happy with my space shuttle ticket to the moon

[JinJan]

Thanks to all who responded to my post!

After reading all of the replies, and thinking about it, for a while...I have come up with this (it's not much, really!)...I guess I have a sexual issue, bisexuality, AND a gender, issue...half female, half male (psychologically, or organically?...but not physically).

So, where does that leave me? I guess I will stay here, and keep posting about the sexual side of things...the other aspect, I will have to investigate further (I have had a couple books recommended to me...maybe I will check them out).

So, again, thanks for the thought-provoking replies, and for all of your support! I DO like it here! JinJan.

[NakedInSeattle]

Your post made me realize also that one of the happiest days of my life was when I admitted my bisexuality to my (then) fiance - now my wife. And yes, free and alive are exactly the words i would use to describe it.

Thanks and good luck on this journey that so many of us here share with you.

[NYTom]

Hi JinJan, Don't let some of these people make you feel like you have " issues". We are who we are. All different. It took me until I was in my 40's now 55 to understand and love who I am and wouldn't trade it for anything. I just wished that would have happened in my teens and 20's when I felt like there was something wrong with me. And the 30's when I wished that I was just one way or the other. Gay or straight. Now in my mid fifties i feel more alive now. My wife, daughter and one of my open minded sisters know and am ready to come out to friends, sons and others. I also like the feel, inside and out of opposite sex clothing. So just enjoy who you are and share with your husband and others

Tom