i need a little advice

[jeffsteph]

first let me inform you that i am married for 13 years and that i am in the military.

with that said i am confused. i love my wife with all of my heart but i am lacking the pleasure that you recieve in the bedroom when you recieve anal pleasure. my wife has used a strap-on on me several times but she expressed to me that she does not like to do it. we have messed around with a couple in the pasted but it left both of us feeling kind of wierd afterwards if i messed around with the female but not the male. i want to let her know that i am distraught about somethings in the bedroom but i do not want to hurt her. does anybody have any advice?

the reason i mentioned that i am in the military is because i am thinging about coming out and being completely honest about my sexuality after dadt has ended. in the military and expesually in the infantry world any type of homosexuality is frowned upon. and yet again does anybody hae any advice about this one too?

[cornholejoe]

all i can tell you is get her to okay you getting fucked by a guy and go get you one maybe let her watch

[DB Forever]

Jeff,
Don't be discouraged, there are lots of current and former military people that wrestle with the same thoughts and desires that you are. The best advice I can give is to stay in the closet until ALL the rule changes have been implemented. The military rules only on the completely homosexual service members. There has been no publicity and even less thought given to the bisexual service member. That subject has yet to be discussed. My advice it to stay true to yourself and keep your feelings out of your military life for now. That has worked for several of my friends in the military in the past when dadt was in effect. It may be difficult, but if you are committed to protecting and defending our national security (I salute you for that), it may be best to not proclaim your sexuality to the world. Let the much needed rule changes take affect first and see how they are being implemented by DoD. Until then experiment when you can, love as much as you can, but be discrete as many service members have been in the past.

Charles

[Boats]

Jeff
Very good advice from DB Forever. You don't mention how many years you have in the military so I cannot advise as to staying/getting out. I retired from mil with 24 years but I have been ret for over 33 years and did not do anything back than to be kicked out for. Be very discrete and careful but enjoy your life to it's fullest.;):)

[Neonaught]

Are you sure you are not just over-emphasizing your need for that one sexual act? From your post I cannot tell if you are otherwise happy with your wife in the bedroom. I ask because sometimes we get infatuated with the idea and then discover it's "not so much" once we have it. If your wife is understanding and you have permission to be with men, I don't see too much of a problem.
As a military vet I have to agree with the others here. I see no reason to come out on the job at all. Frankly, i think it's nobodies business who I share my bed with. The combat arms are certainly the wrong place to advocate for social policy change given the macho nature of the culture. My experience with the Marine Corps is all I have to base that comment on. Maybe the Army is more evolved? What ever happen, I wish you luck and peace.

[bigbadmax]

DADT.,be very careful until ALL legislation is passed and then think of consequences again.
Even if its legal, will it be tolerated?