fred fencesitter
Apr 27, 2011, 5:06 PM
I lived my life as a gay man for several years. Then,about two years ago, I decided to start dating women. Now I'm in a happy, monogamous relationship with a woman and I'm having the best - and most frequent -- sex of my life. This is wonderful, but I'm really going through some really weird feelings. Like I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing. I don't live in the communities where I spent my "gayest" years, but I still feel nervous about running into old friends (gay or straight) and trying to explain to them about my new relationship. How could I tell them in a way that doesn't seem hurtful?
Fortunately, my GF is fine with my sexual history. (It helps that I kept myself disease-free all those years). She doesn't want me to publicly identify as bi though -- for an interesting reason. She has a lot of gay male friends, who tend toward the slutty, and she doesn't want them to see me as "available." I actually monitor what I say around her friends, so I don't seem suspiciously familiar with gay life for a "straight" man.
I don't consider myself straight (though I am more on the hetero side of the sexual continuum), but I know that I'm basically living a straight life. (I've also decided that I enjoy sex more with women than with men, all things held equal). There's a pretty strong chance that I'll end up sharing my life with a woman for the long term, either this one or someone else. My fantasies and desires are now definitely more for women, though I do find men attractive on a more than trivial basis.
I feel really alone in this experience. If I was a woman, I could laugh it off and call myself a "hasbian." But I'm a man!
Fortunately, my GF is fine with my sexual history. (It helps that I kept myself disease-free all those years). She doesn't want me to publicly identify as bi though -- for an interesting reason. She has a lot of gay male friends, who tend toward the slutty, and she doesn't want them to see me as "available." I actually monitor what I say around her friends, so I don't seem suspiciously familiar with gay life for a "straight" man.
I don't consider myself straight (though I am more on the hetero side of the sexual continuum), but I know that I'm basically living a straight life. (I've also decided that I enjoy sex more with women than with men, all things held equal). There's a pretty strong chance that I'll end up sharing my life with a woman for the long term, either this one or someone else. My fantasies and desires are now definitely more for women, though I do find men attractive on a more than trivial basis.
I feel really alone in this experience. If I was a woman, I could laugh it off and call myself a "hasbian." But I'm a man!