Me

[darkeyes]

My sexuality is important to me. It is not, at least since I was a teenager the most important thing in my life. The people and the world around us have always been more important to me than how I feel about men or women and having a shag.

I sounded off at a member in another thread tonight because he really irritated. His inane posts have always irritated because they mean nothing and are the posts of a silly juvenile little boy. Yet they have shown to me one thing. This site is no longer for me. It is not only he, but so many others who post absolute drivel. I have outgrown this place. I have had doubts about its usefulness to me at least for some considerable time, and questioned whether or not I should continue to be a member. It is only my affection for some which has kept me here. Yet even most of them have buggered off.. I cant imagine why...

I am and have always been a political animal. I feel about things. The last few months have tested me like I have never been tested because it is very real and lives are at stake. In the Arab world there has been huge upheaval. One part of the arab world, Bahrain, where I have 17 friends from my university days and those friends in real trouble.. their lives at risk. They live every day how I believe we should live. Demonstrating peacefully against odds which scare the shite out of them. Odds with tanks and guns. They have only faith and belief in their cause. They are simply the bravest most wonderfully honourable people I have ever known and make me feel like a charlatan. Several have been beaten up badly, one had no alternative but to go into hiding, their families threatened and assaulted too, even young children have been beaten. Several women relations of my friends have been sexually assaulted by the security forces, most of whom are not even Bahrainians, but come from Iraq, Syria, Pakistan, Jordan and other very strange places. One was held by the secret police for over a month and kicked shit out of. Doctors and surgeons who have treated the dead dying and injured have been arrested and disappeared into Bahrains dungeons. I have spent hours every day on the net, the phone, and making representations to MPs, MSPs writing to Cameron, Haig etal and who ever else has any influence whatever else goes on in Bahrain. I am stressed and I dont care who knows it.

Who is to blame? Iran? Fuck off. Bahrainian Shia dont want Iran involved in their country any more than they want the Americans, Saudi (especially the Saudi) or British. The Bahrainian Sunni rule and want to keep it that way even although they are less than a third of the population. The rich third. They have the wealth and privilege and screw the rest. They have the Royal family and a government dominated by Sunnis and dedicated to the preservation of Sunni domination..Saudi Arabia insists on this, and the west couldnt give a shite.

So my friends, who I have known for a dozen years and more are threatened, jailed, beaten the fuck out of and in time may die. Their friends have been killed, murdered by the state apparatus, and their allies from abroad, and no one, but no one is immune from the bullet of a tyrant and his bastard servants. Bahrain is not Libya, and is not nearly so nasty a situation as Libya.. yet it is a parallel..and it is nasty... and the west does fuck all and cares fuck all. Bahrain is a friend to the west so fuck the majority population. they dont matter. they are Shia and so in the pocket of Iran.. they are only arabs.. moslems.. who gives a shite?? What fucking bollox.

People should not live in terror. Most of the people in the west have cheered on the revolts of Tunisia, Egypt and Libya, the Yemen and Syria.. but few Bahrain.. Bahrain is our team after all.. and who cares a bugger that a minority weathy corrupt stands on and treats the rest like shite. I do. It is my friends who are suffering, my friends who are in hiding and my friends whose lives are in danger..

So fuck .com. and thank u Maxie for being the catalyst which has made me realise what a stupid, shite site this is nowadays. Carry on wanking. I'll carry on living in the real world and trying to make it better... even for u sad wazzocks who are only interested in where ur next fuck is coming from...

There are some I apologise to for this outburst.. they know who they are cos they have offered me nothing but support, love and friendship over the last 6 years and to whom I am deeply, deeply grateful... now? Many have left as I have said, but to all I love you more than u can know.

To those I do care for so much and who care for me forgive me my heart.. thank you from the bottom of that sad wrenched heart for every word of kindness u have ever given me and there have been so, so many. Thank you for the fun and laughter, the flirting and the joy you have given me so freely from within your own heart. Thank you for your compassion and understanding. I have said enough... I am done. I love you, shall always love you, will remember you and until the day I die shall remain always in your debt.

[Long Duck Dong]

the world is not going to be a better place, all we are trying to do is change the world to match what we want in our lives, while taking away others beliefs and rights, as we proclaim that we care about all people and their rights.......

that is the trouble with activism.... its not about a fair world and equal rights.... its about one view for all people and making everybody the same and equal, silencing those whom seek to walk their own path and express their own ideas and forcing the open and free thinkers, to fit in or fuck off......

walk your own path if you need to... but do not blame the site or the people in it for your choices, as you choose your own path and if you so choose to blame others for your choices... then be honest enuf to admit that you are not leaving cos of your own free will, but cos you can not make the site into what you want the site to be......

its the same with trying to change the world..... all you are doing is trying to make the world the way you want it.... and in doing that, denying others the right to express themselves their way, cos you do not agree with it....

[Hephaestion]

LDD

Activisim can also be about trying to steer away from injustices (inciipient or otherwise) or rectify wrongs. It is also about firing debate and the meeting of minds even though the path may be tortuous and wearing at times.

I would ask that everyone take a step back and think nice thoughts.

[CuddlyKate]

I will not defend Frances for her outburst, but do ask for your understanding. Life has not been easy for her of late and will be no better for the foreseeable future. She doesn't really want to stop debate on anything or force people to her way of thinking, and she doesnt want this site shaped to her will as LDD has inferred. She does want it more relevant and thoughtful to the needs of people like ourselves, but external forces and the stresses they have created within her have conspired to create a situation where she has said things which in time she will come to regret.

[DuckiesDarling]

Kate, there is no defense for Fran on what she said to Max, there might be reasons for the outburst but they do not remove harsh words typed on a forum anymore than they remove harsh words spoken in person. There are a lot of issues going on around the world and in people's personal lives but at the end of the day this is not a political site and it is not a religious site, it's a site that deals with bisexuality and the complications of living in the world as a bisexual and for their partners and families. Sometimes those complications are due to politics sometimes due to prejudices, even on here, we see bisexuals judged harshly by others because they don't fit the mould of what some think they should be.

Recently, Fran hurt me very much with a statement and I addressed her publicly and privately on it. We got past it and I forgave her but I will not forget being thought a child molester because I had my three sons circumcised.

In time, I hope that Fran can come back and apologize not just to Max but to the site itself for the slap in the face she gave it when she said "carryon wanking" but nothing posted here will ever change a single thing going on in the world at large. People die every day for their beliefs, is it supposed to mean more to us, total strangers, because they were a friend of someone? No, we should care anyway, and we do when it's reported on the world news. But for how long? Do I care more about the people who died in the earthquake in Christchurch rather than the earthquake in Japan? No, but I feel the loss on a personal level of a person I knew through LDD that died in the Christchurch quake. Does it trivialize the Japan situation? No, but for me the loss is felt differently, but the sorrow I feel is for everyone in both countries.

I am not a pacifist and I respect the military, I have family who have served, I have friends still serving. I have civilian friends who put their lives at risk every day teaching Iraqis how to police themselves knowing they have a bounty on their heads. But they do it because it is their job. Everyday ordinary people become extraordinary heroes for reaching beyond the scope of their job and doing everything they can to make a difference in this world.

[sammie19]

DD is right that there is no defence for what Fran has said. It was hurtful and insulting and it would have been better if she had sat back and taken more time to think through what she was saying. She has long held the view that the site is trivial and has become increasingly crass, and I know she has wanted to disappear from it for some time. But there is can be no excuse for her rant. There can be understanding of the pressures she has been under which I know too well at first hand.

Fran, I know you will read these comments. I will not tell you what to do, because knowng you that will serve no purpose. I am grateful having you as my friend and for all that you have done since we first met to help me and by enriching my life. But ranting and being nasty and unpleasant does not help your friends or the causes which you spend your life fighting for. You once told me to never react without thought, and always try and avoid becoming personal and hurtful. I know you to be a passionate, emotional person and that you are under a lot of stress, but in this case I think it time that you remember your own words.

Much luv.

[Long Duck Dong]

I will not defend Frances for her outburst, but do ask for your understanding. Life has not been easy for her of late and will be no better for the foreseeable future. She doesn't really want to stop debate on anything or force people to her way of thinking, and she doesnt want this site shaped to her will as LDD has inferred. She does want it more relevant and thoughtful to the needs of people like ourselves, but external forces and the stresses they have created within her have conspired to create a situation where she has said things which in time she will come to regret.

I need to correct something there..... I am not inferring that fran wants the site shaped to her ideals.... that honour belongs to another member that wants non bisexuals and bisexuals that are monogamous, to be more quiet in the site

as for the relevant and thoughtful aspect that fran wants.... well the example she set, has hardly been proof of her own desires and I am refering to the types of threads she has posted over the last few months....

even some of the remarks about groups such as the military being terrorists and people that perform circumcisions, being child molestors, males being lesser mortals, are a contradiction to frans stance and the wording in her sig ....

as I have said before, personal responsibility starts with the person themselves.... and yes, fran may want one thing in the site, but her actions indicate something different..... so that is why I suggested that she not blame the site or the members for something that she has being doing with her own words, posts and threads

[littlerayofsunshine]

I will not defend Frances for her outburst, but do ask for your understanding. Life has not been easy for her of late and will be no better for the foreseeable future. She doesn't really want to stop debate on anything or force people to her way of thinking, and she doesnt want this site shaped to her will as LDD has inferred. She does want it more relevant and thoughtful to the needs of people like ourselves, but external forces and the stresses they have created within her have conspired to create a situation where she has said things which in time she will come to regret.

Kate,

Frannie (and her tidgies) are already forgiven on my end. I too have become aggravated at times with this site. When I joined many years ago. This site was a godsend to me. I was in a deep isolating depression and here I found friends, compassion, a place I could announce who I was and not be inside a shell anymore. I had been bisexual for so long, but when I 19. My sexuality was used as a weapon during a court trial for custody. I was called a lesbian for having had sex with women. So I went deep into the closet for a short time. Never spoken of again till I met my husband when I was 21. between those years I didn't date, didn't have anyone. And even when I told my husband I also kind of related that having sex with women was behind me. I thought I could do it. But as time went on I realized that wasn't the case and I ended up having another talk with him and my re-journey began. Anyone who's has had to hide who they are, knows you could be in the happiest situation, and feel like its all a sham. Being a wife and Mum, I didn't have the desire to go have willy nilly sex with anyone. so I searched, and found .com as she always lovingly put it. For me is was a place where I could be open. Flirt. Share. And offer support and at times, Help. All that has changed too. I have seen so many friends just leave and never come back. There are some now that don't dare venture into the chat room because its the equivalent of being on a public bus and getting sexually mauled. It's alarming to me to see the kinds of predatory behavior and even grooming behavior that takes place in there that has become the norm. It used to be warm and friendly in there. and now I see people struggling just to maintain a conversation. It was heartbreaking and I don't think I shall be going back into that room.

As for the rest of the site such as it is, what once was a resource. Can't really be anymore. Its a real shame honestly. When you google bisexual. This is one of the first sites too pop up. Some of the people who would be googling such, might be looking for what I once was. Some of these googlers are teenagers struggling to find who they are, who can't join this site, but read what everyone writes. and I can't say I am honestly proud to be a part of what gets written there in the forums. I see people still reaching out for help there, but the help is very limited and is quickly buried under filth. All could have been dealt with long ago. When people, numerous members. Requested segregated forums. For example, One for general topics, one for fantasy, one for sexscapades.... general topics being viewable by the public and the rest being viewable by the members. So many bi and questioning looking for something that speaks to them, some help or ray of hope will struggle even more if they try to find it here.

I don't condone how she phrased it to Max, but I can understand her frustration. And Im going to go out on a limb here and say that it probably wasn't max's post that riled her up, its just the straw that broke the camels back. She's a right fighter. A helper, an all in one superhero and vigilante at the same time. She makes it where she sees more than many of us wish too. And we all have known this of her for a long time. She has shared so many parts of her life with us over all this time. Her own struggles. She is the least self obsessed person I know, when I consistently see her trying to make things better for other people. She may express herself in ways some of us find Shocking or offensive. But in all honestly.. don't we all at some point?

So I forgive her. I will miss her. I have loved and admired her from afar all this time and I have never seen her. or heard her voice. But only her words. She helped save me a long time ago and she has never known it. That was my secret. But I put it out here now.


Frannie.... This is a prayer for you and even me... Grant us the serenity. The accept the things I can't not change, The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.

Now its time to let things be and take care of yourself. Kate and the kids need you healthy and strong. Injustice preys on the weak and will eat you alive if you let it.

Now one last thing to Kate. I haven't been with a woman in many years. But when I do. I hope she is a little like your Frances.

[jamieknyc]

Circumcision has become one of the causes of the lunatic-fringe left. Ultimately it is a superiority thing. Circumcision would be as noncontroversial as having pierced ears, but for the fact that it is associated in Western coutrnies with Jews, and in Europe Moslems.

The ironic thing is that for all of Fran's ranting about Bahrain, a great part of the Arab revolution is that Middle Eastern peoples of all groups are sick to hell of having white women in Scotland tell them how to run their lives.

[biguycancun]

Wow! She speaks and writes English! Too bad you've allowed personal (and genuinely meaningful) stresses to so affect you that you've lost site of the effectiveness of this board. There is still much to be leaned here. There is still much to be shared her. I, as a relative newcomer have learned to love and accept myself through what I've experienced and learned here. Although not an active poster, I am a daily reader, and the difference this sight has made for me, a late blooming and previously deeply closeted bisexual has been life altering.

Frankly, I've always considered your dialectically inflicted replies to be a major annoyance and distraction, especially in light of your well worded signature. Nevertheless I've refrained from commenting because virtually everyone else here has offered you such forbearance. To not have to parse and rethink every line you write will be for me, a relief. But I call your attention to the word "forbearance", something you seem to have lost.

I feel sorry that you've been so traumatized that you were compelled to post with such negativity. I only hope you will now have time to adress those things which have so severly colored your judgement. Good luck.

[tenni]

Fran
Just when I thought that I might learn what tidlies (or whatever) are....???:eek:

I am using your real name although I usually try to use your user name. I'm saddened that life is being difficult for you now. I hope that you feel better soon and do return. I have always admired your thoughts, your commitment to social causes and your skills as a communicator. Sorry that things went off the track for you.

I do have cyber affection for you as others have also stated.

Please do come back after things improve for you. I know that we have been on the same side of some issues and opposite on others and do hope that I have not added to your recent stress. In a typical Canuck manner, I will write sorry if I have.

[bizel]

fran darling, when you chuck a wobbly, it's okay. we all have bad days. admittedly, on a website is probably not a wise choice as it is around to haunt you forever, but so what!! in the heat of the moment, few of us practice wisdom. my upbringing comes forth at times like this. NOT A QUOTE, JUST THE JIST - he who is without sin can cast the first stone. we've all done it. forgive yourself and move on. who gives a shit if others forgive you or not. forgivenes is is not about other people. it's about realising you've made a mistake and learning from it. an apology is nice, but it's the other person's issue to accept or not.

and as for all the other self-righteous, pompous wankers on this site going her, how dare you!! how many of you even bothered to read and learn from that other new recent member who got drunk, shot off his mouth at his 'friend' and got shunned????? in fact, some of you even ventured a reply - how quickly we forget!! we all told him that true friendship forgave, understanding there was usually something more going on behind the scenes, and that they knew the true measure of the person to look beyond that, and move on within the friendship. how dare we now point a finger, sound pompous and act like we're better!! even if she didn't apologize, true friendship looks beyond that and senses there must be something else going on. it seems to me we're all lovey nice when things are politically correct. the moment we stray off that track, out come the claws and attacks. i'm ashamed of the way we've sailed into her. we've done no better than her initial outburst, and then claimed we have a right because 'we wouldn't do such a not-nice thing' and we know better and we didn't use her language though our meaning was exactly the same. get off your high horses, and apologise back. you're behaviour is just as bad. fran, i don't always agree with you comments - political, etc, - or care to get into too deeper issues cos they make me want to do what you did (not that i agree with the initial outburst - personally, big bits don't make you better in the sack, but bigbadmax is entitled to say whatever). i at times get fed up with the political droning on on this site, but i appreciate others enjoy it, so i leave it be. i do like to see someone being real, exposing their passion in a not-so-politicially-correct fashion. and if it were so horrifically wrong, drew would have slapped a no-go on that puppy. hang in there, babe. you do have genuine loving friends here. i don't have to agree with you or like everything that comes out of your mouth to love you. i just love that you are genuinely you and i would miss you terribly if you left the site. massive hug, b.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

My dear sweet Tart. I can only imagine what you are going through right now with your friends, and my heart breaks for you. All I can offer are big warm hugs and heartfelt good thoughts for you. I hope you Dont stay away from us for too long.
Kisses Darlin One.:}
Your Cat..:bigrin:

[nicco413]

i shall regret not reading her dissertations and trying to understand what she is saying.
This is a bisexual site and we all have enough animosity because of our sexuality rather than get involved with world politics.
The world is a shite place at times so by all means try and change it but I for one am happy to chat and read posts from others of the same sexuality and hopefully have some input
Good luck Fran

[sammie19]

I saw Fran last night briefly. Her look and greeting filled me with a little sense of dread. Being asked "what the fuck do you want?" isn't a welcome I expected or wanted. My post ticking her off seemed to make me very unpopular in her books. I shouldn't have worried because from scowl to ear to ear smile and a hug took half a sec and showed me that she is ok.

We talked only for a few minutes about this thread and the site. Fran knows she was out of order and that she has said some very hurtful things, but she sticks with the point she was trying to make, and intends to hold to her decision and sad acceptance that the site no longer has a place for her. What is more to the point and even sadder is that there is no place for this site in her life any more.

Poor Max. You caught it, but Littleray makes the point that it isn't you. Your post was the catalyst which brought home to Fran how far apart ".com" and she appear to have moved.

What she does now she will decide in time. She is brooding a little and these days a large part of her world is in turmoil and she remains quite unwell. I hope she can forgive me for saying this, but she is a soldier and will struggle on as long as her legs can carry her and the spirit remains willing.

As we left last night her smile turned back to scowl. Not anything to do with the site or this discussion. But her frustration at having to kick her heels and not being well enough to join us in town for our girls night out. If there was annoyance at anyone it was at Kate for being so hard on her and "locking her up" as she puts it.

[bigbadmax]

Its all fine to say that fran was out of sorts, not feeling well,stressed etc but it DOES NOT excuse her outburst.

If I had attacked a member like she had done I would expect consequences.

No apology, no chance of one and drew still hasnt actioned my request to remove her personnal and vicious attack.

regardless of how inane she felt the thread was, it does not excuse her venomous, nay purely evil attack on an innocent thread and longstanding member of this community.

the lgbt has enough problems without in house cat fights.

[darkeyes]

I was out of line. Rude, obnoxious and far too personal. I apologise, Max, for an inexcusable breach of ettiquette and simple good manners. You can say or do nothing worse than I have been saying and doing to myself for the last day or so... To members of the site I apologise to you also, and to Drew, for it breaches a rule I have long tried to impose on myself and shown scant respect and regard for the feelings of anyone but myself.... dont get personal and never lose control.



I will not even try and excuse any of it or justify it... simply I will say it was stupid.



Pent up frustrations can be an awful thing. I have bitten my lip for months and now I have poured those frustrations out with a bile that shocked me. Please dont think too badly of me. I have tried hard to keep my emotions in check but this time I let them get the better of me and for that I deserve whatever you decide to throw at me. That I hold to the less personal criticisms of the site which I made in my opening post let there be no doubt. What, in my clumsy emotional ham handed way I have tried to say is this.. it is all very well having cock, pussy and shagging threads. They have their place on a site like com.. but we are human beings and as human beings we have a responsibility to show to the world that we are other than perverts. That we think, and can care and can intellectualise about more than the size of our willie or our tits.. that we care about more than what cock or pussy tastes like, and that we have brains in our heads that have more to say about our sexuality than whether or not to tell our partner we are bi or gay.. As I see it, there has been an increase in the trivialisation of bi and homosexuality which you continue at your peril. If we wish to be thought of and treated as responsible, decent human beings on an equal footing with the straight world then we have to be seen to be worthy of it. For those who say we should not involve ourselves with politics on this site are doing themselves and the rest of us an injustice... politics is about humanity and what else are we but human beings. Almost every political decision or issue involves in some way gay and bisexual people all over the planet, and very often specifically gay and bisexual people. We are not only sexual animals.. we are all of us political ones. It is disengeneous to deny it. It doesnt matter one bit whether I am right or anyone else is.. what matters is that we show are more than the sum of our sexual parts or who we sleep with.



I hold my hands up.. I am opinionated and do get emotional... the other night my emotions got the better of me and I made a right little fool of myself and stepped over the line.



I end by saying this...for the most part I have loved being a member of .com.. I have loved .com for it was what I needed at a certain moment in my life and I have met people for whom I have nothing but the greatest of love and respect. I no longer have that same need for I am in a far different place now from where I was in 2005.Yet I felt I still make a contribution. I think I have, Even if there are many of you who hate what I am and what I stand for and have nought but contempt for me and all I have ever said. I said I had outgrown this place. That was an arrogance I think. More this place and I have gone our separate ways and have drifted apart.



I wish you all well, and find great prosperity,happiness and joy in your lives. I leave you all the love of a chastened little tart, who is honoured that so many of you thought enough of her to offer your friendship and love when she most needed it.

[bigbadmax]

Many thanks,

matter dropped and now ancient history.

keep smiling fran

phil.

[Bicuriousity]

Now i am curious where was the argument thread? I guess i dpnt read each and every thread...

[Darkside2009]

...And forgive us our tresspasses, as we forgive those that tresspass against us...

Sometimes we all say things in the heat of the moment that we later regret saying. It is usually to people that we like or love that we make these remarks. If it was to complete strangers we didn't care about, we would simply ignore them, their opinions would be of no concern to us.

We all know Darkeyes has been ill of late from stress and exhaustion, at such times exasperation and sheer lack of sleep, can get the better of our nerves and we strike out at our nearest and dearest, and those close to us.

I believe this outburst to have been brought on by fear and concern for her friends abroad, and a feeling of frustration and powerlessness, to do anything that might help them.

I too have felt this feeling many times in the last forty years in my country, where friends and relatives have lost their lives, sometimes in the most barbaric atrocities contrived by man. I have witnessed people, or what was left of them, being scraped off the pavement in shovels before being tipped into plastic bin bags, innocent men, women and children going about their lawful business.

It has filled me with anger at those who perpetrate such atrocities and the cycle of hatred and bitterness such atrocities engender. Many a time I have cursed those who contributed financially to a cause in a far off land without giving a thought to the death and destruction their contributions might bring about.

To paraphrase Yeats...the best lack all conviction, whilst the worst are filled with a passionate intensity...

As I have grown older I have become calmer and I think a little more rational, I now realise I can no longer change the World, (it has me outnumbered), but I can change myself and how I react to it.

People are multi-faceted, they are not defined by just one facet of their character. For my part I try to treat others as I would hope to be treated myself, I don't always succeed. Then again, there are some people that only their Mothers could love.

I too have often felt out of place on this site, and wondered what on Earth I was doing here, whether or not I had sufficient in common with people here to justify my returning. I have made a number of friendships here and some contributors have irritated me immensely. I have been criticised for my religious and political beliefs and frankly at times found this place very intolerant.

What brings me back? Every now and then someone in the forum relates something that strikes a chord, a shared feeling or experience I can empathise with. I don't pretend to feign an interest in every topic, I just respond to those topics that interest me. I offer an opinion that others are free to agree or disagree with as they wish. By exchanging opinions we can test and re-evaluate our own. That is why I believe this to be a public forum, open to all opinions and not a private members club for the cognoscente.

If one does not like certain topics, it is a simple enough expedient to avoid them, or if the opinion of someone irritates, simply place them on ignore. For my part I avoid the more sexual topics and read the topics dealing with the human condition, people's emotions, and how they see and deal with the World around them. To each their own.

I hope Darkeyes, if you are reading this, that you do not leave. Take time to recover from your illness, and regain your strength and vitality. You have friends here that you enjoy conversing with, and exchanging points of view, heightens the mental faculties. Besides which, someone as opinionated as you needs a forum to expound in. :rolleyes: It might as well be here as anywhere else.

To Max, I know you felt offended by Darkeye's remarks, but they were said in the heat of the moment. She has offered as handsome an apology as you are likely to get from anyone. Let's forgive and forget and move on, just put it down to mad cow disease, the Scottish variant. :bigrin:

[maxtor]

try to always remember before we talk...there are two things than can never be recalled

1. A rock thrown
2. A word said

there is always the apologies than can come following the deed that was done but it is too late then. you have planted the words in someones mind that will not be forgotten and the rock that made that wound will heal but the reason that it was thrown is implanted in our minds will never leave. THINK ABOU IT!! i try to live by those words before i ever open my mouth or harm someone's mind by doing such things. sit down and think before you plant words in someones mind that will never leave. it will let you sleep better at night, believe me i know.

[meteast chick]

Frannie we are all entitled to our opinions and I for one applaud you for expressing yours regardless of how it is perceived by others and for your loving and giving nature. I know what you mean about bicom being a different place than it once was, which is largely why I don't frequent this site as much as I once did. Having met my great love on this site only to lose her from this earthly plane and again having another great friend pass away really put me in a stupor. I have never been a victim, much less felt personally offended or assaulted by anything you have said to me. In fact you've been nothing but congenial to me and for that I give you thanks. I'm sorry that you no longer feel welcome but in my eyes you always will be. Please keep my email address(just add @yahoo.com) and feel free to contact me in the future. I only want the best for you, your family, your friends and your tidgies ;)

luv, hugs and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Rach

[arana]

*** Spanks Frances for being naughty****:tong:

[curious married m]

*** Spanks Frances for being naughty****:tong:

Spanks Arana for being AWOL. :devil:Miss You:devil:

[**Peg**]

.....what cmm said :)

ranakins, hope you and yourn are well *sigh*

[_Joe_]

I remember when I first came here, I asked why there's just one forum for all the sex talk, random talk, politics talk, etc. I'm so used to seeing separate forums for separate topics.

Why? Because some people don't have the time, energy, or desire to get involved in politics, religion, cumguzzing, or whatever. You try to wade through it, but at times its overwhelming and when you see two pages of one thing you're trying to ignore, whamo "this site isnt for me anymore".

I know I keep trying to ignore a few things I keep seeing, but I'll be damned I get tricked into reading some of it or curiosity gets to me. Then it's a battle to keep my mouth shut and keep trying to ignore it.

Or in this case, someone is so focused on one thing, it becomes so much to them, that they finally snap because it's getting to nobody else it seems, and being joked about by others who go on "this doesn't belong HERE", and well it does because there is no where else for it. Worse those that probably support it in some way are unknowingly ignoring it to give some support because they know it's by a person/topic they try to ignore.

Mix that with emotions, fatigue, and what have you and you got what we got right here. Again, feeling "this isn't for me anymore"

What I think I summed it up as is, when you try to cater to everyone, you end up also alienating everyone.

Ya I know this isn't much help to what's going on right now, but I strongly feel this repetitive posting of "this place isn't for me" is because we shove everyone and everything into one spot and the "topic of the week" goes in cycles back and forth, back and forth. And at the right swings, it really affects people looking for the other thing.

[Darkside2009]

People come to this site for many reasons. Some for sexual meetings, others for information or advice. Yet others to discuss their particular fetish. Some to discuss politics or religion or whatever else is important to them.

There are those who come here just because they are lonely, or to escape the hum-drum problems of their daily life, if even for a short time.

I can understand those people not wanting to become involved with the problems of other people whom they have never met and whom they are unlikely to ever meet.

If they feel powerless to affect political outcomes in their own country, it is extremely unlikely they will be listened to by those in power in other countries.

Some people are just not interested in certain topics, no matter how much they might be of interest to others. No amount of berating will change that. But given a modicum of good will and tolerance we can all co-exist together. If someone doesn't like the topics that interest me, then they don't have to read them or contribute to them.

Similarly if I see a topic that has no interest for me I don't bother reading it or contributing to it. To me that is just common sense. I realise it may be of endless fascination to others so I don't have any problem whatsoever with it being a topic for discussion.

People join and leave this site all the time, to those joining the questions they ask may be new to them, but we might have heard it all before. That I believe, is one reason why certain topics keep resurfacing.

We could tell newcomers to just go look in the archive, but that wouldn't be very friendly. It would be like going to see your doctor for advice on your ailments and being told to go look it up yourself in the medical text-books.

What may seem trivial to one person may be a release, if even for a short time, from a life of stress or depression, for another. I for one would not deny anyone that brief respite.

It is open to anyone on this site to start a thread of their own choosing and to sit back and see if it attracts any interest or comment. They don't have to wait for someone else to speak first. The fact that we get the same dozen or so people contributing to any thread on here just means they are the people with an opinion that are comfortable talking and debating. It doesn't mean their opinion is any more valid than anyone that doesn't contribute, it just means they are not shy in expounding their views.

I have heard a few commentators say that this site has changed from what it was a few years ago. This may or may not be true. Certainly when I looked through the archive at older posts on topics, similar rows and heated discussions seemed to occur. What then is the difference?

Perhaps when the site was younger, it had fewer people, and therefore more of a sense of family, perhaps it was much more polite, I don't know as I've only been here a couple of years myself. Perhaps this site and its topics are like old school friends that you grow apart from. They filled a need at the time but now you have little in common with them.

There are probably as many reasons for leaving the site as for joining it. But with a little bit of tolerance for each other, whatever our views on any topic, we can all co-exist happily.

[still_shy]

Ahh Frannie, I know that you and I have both went a bit underground on .com in the last year for similar reasons. This site has changed. I have outgrown it as well. What used to feel like a wonderful, beautiful community with love and acceptance has turned into something so different that I don't come around much anymore either. It's not because I've forgotten the friends I've made here or pass judgement on the nature of the threads....I just don't have anything much to say about the topics being discussed. I, for one, cherish your friendship and kindness more than I could ever explain. You have been a godsend to me for a long, long time and for that, I am grateful. Please stay in touch darling. I will miss you dearly and hope that these rough times you are going through will pass quickly. Best wishes to you and Kate. xoxo

[_Joe_]

Oh, and if you do leave...by all means PM me where you go off to so I can follow you!

[Bluebiyou]

Circumcision has become one of the causes of the lunatic-fringe left. Ultimately it is a superiority thing. Circumcision would be as noncontroversial as having pierced ears, but for the fact that it is associated in Western coutrnies with Jews, and in Europe Moslems.

The ironic thing is that for all of Fran's ranting about Bahrain, a great part of the Arab revolution is that Middle Eastern peoples of all groups are sick to hell of having white women in Scotland tell them how to run their lives.

Dear Jamie,
now is not the place or time for your strategically pointed stabs.
I would love to point out how entirely wrong your statements are; but here is not the place. Please start another thread stating any of your brain-dead hypothesis and I'll be glad to tear it to pieces.
You would have to be brain-dead to deny that Fran is leading edge of the hopeful future of humanity.
or
or
...or perhaps as a more "centrist" (middle left and right) position - should we (the world) just nuke all Jews and Islams because they're all hopeless in any progression of future humanity (because neither will listen to reason/gentiles/infidels/outsiders)?

Double :rotate:
I remain, despisingly yours jamieknyc, Bluebiyou

And although Fran has explicitly asked me to stop...
I cannot in honesty change my publicly stated support/love/opinion of her and Kate.
Frances is leading edge of ideology. She 'gets it'. On the subject of love and humanity (assuming there is a God) she 'gets it'.
If I die tomorrow, I will be glad for merely knowing her.
aside - I'm sorry for betraying my promise, Fran.
Mrs. Bluebiyou is great. Please don't underestimate my application of the word 'great'. I will stand by her. She is a truly great human being.
Fran is... of the highest level... she understands and eloquently expresses what few barely understand.

I'm sorry Fran that you were feeling so down for a period...
But...
:)
you know what we're called to... because we can.
I hope I inspire you, Fran to be a better person just as you inspire and challenge me (by writing the feelings and truth - of your soul? nay of life.).
Please do not be reluctant to show your light. Matthew 5:15 (Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.)

[SatyrLuvz69]

Hey Fran, you go and follow your heart hun!... and don't you worry, I'll forgive you for your outburst(hehehe). it's been a pleasure knowing you all these years, and I love you very much.. I am so sorry to hear that you have friends in this struggle in the middle east, and that there are people hear that pissed you off that badly; but don't think for a second you can escape from me you lil bugger, if you ever need to chat, you know where to find me!!! even if I'm offline, drop a message anyway, you know damn well I'll respond!!


xoxoxoxo Hoimie lol :bigrin: