Realist
Apr 18, 2011, 5:07 PM
A friend's son has been talking to me about his being bisexual and wanting to marry. Having children was something else he didn't want. Thinking of bringing kids into this world, was something he was absolutely something he didn't want to do. Before he met his GF, he had a vasectomy, but hadn't told her, yet. He was in the process of planning to keep both of these things a secret.
I told him that I, too, was bi and, during my last marriage, decided to keep my bisexuality a secret. I knew my wife was vehemently against gay and bisexual lifestyles, but married her anyway. What an awful mistake that was! I was with a clandestine male lover, for 18 of the 23 years we were married! I was constantly looking over my shoulder, afraid of being caught, outed, feeling guilty for being who I was, and hating myself. When we divorced, I said I would never do that again .........and I haven't.
I wouldn't advise him on how to live his life........... but said, if given the same opportunity, I would never put myself, or wife, through that again. My GF is also bi, but even if she wasn't, I would still tell her that I was.
Last night, while out to eat with his fiancee, he finally decided that he didn't want to live a lie, like I had, and told her. He was prepared for the worst, but her reply knocked him off his feet!
She looked into his eyes and a small smile came over her face. She almost yelled, "Thank God! I have been very bi-curious for some time, too!"
She also had been sweating blood over how to tell him that she, like him, did not want children.
Now the slate is clean, they bit the bullet and were honest about things they thought would be painful....however, what they revealed about each other, has freed them as well as drew them closer!
They have set a marriage date, for September, now!
Man! I wished I'd been that honest, way back when! I'm positive my ex would have never married me, but that would have been much better than living as I did.
This morning, when he called to tell me the news, he thanked me for telling him about the struggle I dealt with. He didn't want to live that way.
I think he made the right move!
I told him that I, too, was bi and, during my last marriage, decided to keep my bisexuality a secret. I knew my wife was vehemently against gay and bisexual lifestyles, but married her anyway. What an awful mistake that was! I was with a clandestine male lover, for 18 of the 23 years we were married! I was constantly looking over my shoulder, afraid of being caught, outed, feeling guilty for being who I was, and hating myself. When we divorced, I said I would never do that again .........and I haven't.
I wouldn't advise him on how to live his life........... but said, if given the same opportunity, I would never put myself, or wife, through that again. My GF is also bi, but even if she wasn't, I would still tell her that I was.
Last night, while out to eat with his fiancee, he finally decided that he didn't want to live a lie, like I had, and told her. He was prepared for the worst, but her reply knocked him off his feet!
She looked into his eyes and a small smile came over her face. She almost yelled, "Thank God! I have been very bi-curious for some time, too!"
She also had been sweating blood over how to tell him that she, like him, did not want children.
Now the slate is clean, they bit the bullet and were honest about things they thought would be painful....however, what they revealed about each other, has freed them as well as drew them closer!
They have set a marriage date, for September, now!
Man! I wished I'd been that honest, way back when! I'm positive my ex would have never married me, but that would have been much better than living as I did.
This morning, when he called to tell me the news, he thanked me for telling him about the struggle I dealt with. He didn't want to live that way.
I think he made the right move!