Question?

[Confused4life]

Do you think its possible to remain friends with someone after you made love with them? Is it possible to remain friends when you are still in love with them? Just curious as to what you all think.

c4l

[arana]

Of course you can, people do it all the time. It depends on the people and how they handle relationships. If the love is not reciprocated it can be difficult for the person with the stronger emotional attachment, making it awkward for the other. I hope you're able to work things out C4L. I'd hate to see you lose a good friend.

[Spicy]

Of course you can remain friends, just don't do it again if you think it is hurting any of you.
Spicy

[billy_campbell]

My best friend is my ex-wife. We have been divorced for 26 years. So yes you can remain friends after making love, being married, having sex, etc. It is just whatevery the two of you wish your relationship to be.

[innaminka]

If I get the gist of what you're asking, its after having been lovers, can friendship remain after the sex has stopped?

IMHO, impossible to answer. Each case would be a stand-alone situation. Generalities can't cover the complexity of human emotions.

Can friendship remain? Yes. Above answers attest to the fact.
Bank on it??? Not on your sweet nellie.
Just my :2cents:

[Mimi]

Both people can be friends (after sex/relationship) if they BOTH stop wishing for more and they BOTH get over any hurt feelings they had. And that is very, very rare, I tell you. :rolleyes:

Mimi :flag1:

[CountryLover]

I was married for 26 yrs to a man who emotionally and verbally abused me for most of that time. I've forgiven him since our divorce 3 yrs ago, moved on and we're able to be friendly now.

My best friend of the past 10 years was a f*** buddy for about 6 months after my divorce. He's now married to someone else - and still my best friend. I love him dearly :) (but I'd kill him if I had to be married to him!)

However, the man who was my soulmate/lover for 8 yrs.....his betrayal was too deep, too painful for me to deal with any kind of shallow friendship afterwards.

Each situation is unique. There simply isn't any blanket statement that can be made. However, if you go into it with the determination that your friendship is primary and rock solid and neither betrays that friendship, it should work out.

[Confused4life]

Both people can be friends (after sex/relationship) if they BOTH stop wishing for more and they BOTH get over any hurt feelings they had. And that is very, very rare, I tell you. :rolleyes:

Mimi :flag1:

I believe Mimi that I am the only one with hurt feelings here…I am pretty sure that she is attracted to me as I am her, but we both agreed not to let it happen again.

Thanks everyone for your replies. The reason I am asking is because I have a couple of people with whom I am close with tell me that it would be the best thing for me to break off my friendship with my best friend (we slept together 2 times in Jan.) However I believe that they are coming to this advise based on religion. (The two people telling me this are very spiritual). They have several valid concerns. They don't think we can continue a friendship without temptation. They are also concerned because I have developed very strong feelings for her. However, I am trying very hard not to let that disrupt the friendship we have. She was very concerned about this before we were together….that I would get hurt. I don’t blame her at all for me being unable to control my heart. If I put aside the way I feel about her, we have a great friendship. I don’t know if I can just walk away from that just because right now I have strong feelings for her. I am hoping that I will be able to deal with the way I feel and eventually let those feelings go. (FYI she has no idea how strongly I feel for her). Am I being untrustworthy by not telling her? I am not trying to be, I am trying to protect her not complicate her life anymore then it already is….I am so confused.

[jedinudist]

It depends heavily on the two people in question. But yes, it is not only possible, it is somewhat common :)

[smokey]

God yes. You can even remain friends after you've married and divorced them...its more difficult but unless abuse is involved, a fond adiu is a hell of alot better than fuck you both mentally and spiritually. I am fortunate that I have remained friends (and sometimes slept with again) my ex's than many.

[red_riding_hood_27]

I met this guy of a friend when we all partying. We both thought each other would never see each other again. My first and only one night stand. However the gods had other plans. We both found out that we would be seeing a lot of each other. He and my best friend (long story short version) were roomates. Actually the weird part is she also had an one night with him. I was over at their place alot and nothing more ever happen Him and I became the best of friends. I am still in touch with him today. We make better friends then anything more. I love him dearly however it is not the "in Love" feelings. He also loves me and cares for me but that is all it goes on his side. I did think I had more feelings for him at one time when he moved away but I was wrong. Just a few months later I met my husband.


In our case we both never got serious with each other. The attraction never went to wanting more. It was just nice to have a guy friend and was intelligent to handle a conversation.

Thinking back he is not the first that I became friends with after we had an encounter or romance with. The other was on rebound and his ex called wanting him back. I told him I would like to be friends till he knows what he wants. However, I realized that if I could let go then we were not meant to be. That I did not have strong feelings for him. I kept in touch with him till he moved away. Last I heard he married some girl over sees.

If you have strong feelings then you might not be able to remain "just friends". It would hurt to see that person be with someone else. I wish you all the luck.


Angela

[strawberry8302]

Do you think its possible to remain friends with someone after you made love with them? Is it possible to remain friends when you are still in love with them? Just curious as to what you all think.

c4l

Yes, I think it's possible to remain friends with someone after you've had sex with them. The relationship should be so strong that no matter what you guys do, your friendship will not let your actions change anything. If anything, the relationship should be allowed to become stronger if you guys have had sex. Sex is not only supposed to be for pleasure, but it's an expression of feeling. It's also possible to remain friends with someone you're still in love with, but it will be very challenging and hard. It will be even more challenging and hard if the person doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about them. In my opinion, if you love someone, you should be happy for them whether they are in a relationship with you or not.

[Mimi]

I believe Mimi that I am the only one with hurt feelings here…I am pretty sure that she is attracted to me as I am her, but we both agreed not to let it happen again.
so in your situation, then, the answer to the question is "no," you can't be friends with her.


The reason I am asking is because I have a couple of people with whom I am close with tell me that it would be the best thing for me to break off my friendship with my best friend (we slept together 2 times in Jan.) However I believe that they are coming to this advise based on religion. (The two people telling me this are very spiritual).
even though your friends are religious, that doesn't mean their advice is bad. it seems like they have a good perspective on it. i would be concerned about you too, if i were your friend, and i would also try to persuade you to back off too (maybe not break off the friendship completely).


(FYI she has no idea how strongly I feel for her). Am I being untrustworthy by not telling her? I am not trying to be, I am trying to protect her not complicate her life anymore then it already is….I am so confused.
this is a tough question. if you tell her, then what are you trying to get out of it? i have been on the other side of the situation, where a friend of mine had feelings for me, told me that she did, and it made me uncomfortable because i always wondered her intentions when she did something nice for me (or when she was acting distant). i think telling her might open up a whole can of worms, and it might be better just to distance yourself a bit, realize that you cannot have her, and get interested in someone else.

mimi :flag1:

[gina42]

hey c4,
yes you can still be friends,people do it all the time and i agree with what arana said...(very well put sis!)





Of course you can, people do it all the time. It depends on the people and how they handle relationships. If the love is not reciprocated it can be difficult for the person with the stronger emotional attachment, making it awkward for the other. I hope you're able to work things out C4L. I'd hate to see you lose a good friend.