Anybody still in the closet about being bi? [Archive]

Dark Fiend

Mar 10, 2011, 10:30 PM

Falke

Mar 11, 2011, 12:37 AM

I have been out for awhile. The reaction has ranged from good to bad, but mostly neutral. Hell, even the bad turned out well as it showed whom I could trust and whom would end up causing me harm.

bisocialnudist

Mar 11, 2011, 6:01 AM

Coming out is a very individual decision but for me it was a wonderful experience. I have the benefit of 5 decades of hindsight but I wish I had felt I could have come out at 20. I have known I was bisexual since 4th grade but didnt accept myself until I was 53. I woke up one morning no longer ashamed flung the doors of the closet open and have never looked back. Im out to anyone who cares and some who don't LOL.

Living life openly and authentically according to my script and not someone elses expectations has been the best thing I ever did for myself. Due to erasure and invisibility coming out is something that once we decide to be out is an ongoing process. We meet new people and sometimes have to remind others who we are. My wife got so used to the heterosexual mark she forgot all about my telling her I was bi before we got married, oops, I had to come out to her twice. It was more difficult after 25 years of marriage.

Also surround yourself with a posse of supporters, in other words come out first to the people most likely to support you so if have a situation that dosnt go well you will have a support network. I was most afraid of my Mom and Dads reaction by the time I came out to them some 6 months after I started I had everybody and their brother behind me in support, turns out they were fine, who knew.

Anyway good luck be prepared for some incredible personal rewards even if you do run into some that do not understand.

Mark

darkeyes

Mar 11, 2011, 6:51 AM

Yes you should come out because you want to and your family and friends should know about your sexuality.

Ignore the people here who will tell you how coming out is somehow telling other people about your personal sex life. It is not.

I was never in the closet about my bisexuality I've been out for decades.

Dark Fiend me luffly.. lil word 2 the good.. iggie bammie bonce above.. he has nothing whatsoever to offer u in the way of constructive advice.. u know as well as I that everyone's circumstances are different, and coming out, while it may be an ideal, and even the best thing for you in reality, the world isn't such a perfect place for non straight people, that it may not be the case.. he knows this too.. and his "advice" can safely be consigned to the bin for what it is... garbage..

There are numerous threads on this issue throughout forums.. do a search for these threads and you will find many people with sound, considered and varied advice.. people will respond to your plea here too and there will be advice for you to take on board which is sensible and properly thought through.. destructive clowns like "bammie bonce" can safely be ignored...

Ideally we should all be open and up front about our sexuality.. but sadly such is the world we live in that for some, many.. because of their circumstances it may be inadvisable.. were the world only a different and kinder place..:)

biwmtrucker44

Mar 11, 2011, 7:15 AM

I am mostly still in. I came out a little in my last job and it didn't work out to good so for now till congress passes GLBT rites laws in the work place I ll keep it to my self

morandi

Mar 11, 2011, 7:28 AM

Coming out as bisexual is difficult. Staying bisexual is really diffiicult.
Sexual identity has two sides. Sexual identity as you see your self and how people see you. I mean if you come out as bisexual and you have a relationship with a women people will identify you as hetero and in other way with a man as gay. Bisexuality only excist in your own self. People forget after a certain time that what you told them. Or they simply don't want to mention it anymore. A lot of people, not all, who has a same sex relationship start to call their self gay because its more easy and they make there partner comfortable with that, In the mean time they are still bisexual. With their wishes. I for my self never called myself hetero. Although i was married for over 20 years. I hated the jokes about gays. They made them even if i told them i was bisexual. People simply identify you by the gender of your partner.
Exually those labels are weird. You can have a relationship sex./rom. with a women or with a men. Identities got exually something to do with time.
You can say when your twenty your gay, but you can't say that you're asbsolutly sure that it will be the same when your fifty. I say: only at the and of your live you know what kind of label you should give yourself.
I think, a lot of people will say i was pretty much a bisexual.

Realist

Mar 11, 2011, 10:17 AM

Dark Fiend, I agree with Darkeyes.

Each of us are different and what maybe perfect for one person, can be detrimental to another. I'm one of the older members, here, and have known I was attracted to both genders, since my earliest recollection. I will not advise you, but only share my personal thoughts, in regard to myself.

My environment was, and probably always will be, very inhospitable towards "deviates". My lovers and a few very close trusted friends know I am bisexual, but I am comfortable in roles as a heterosexual as well as bisexual person....but, only in each particular circle.

Only you know what is right for you and I hope you don't allow anyone to do your thinking for you. Only YOU have to live with your actions and only YOU know how others will react.

I have seen lives ruined by coming out, as well as almost total acceptance.... plus, many different scenarios in between. I hope you first consider every aspect of reactions of those you're revealing yourself to.

One reason I didn't come out to many of my friends, parents, and sister was, for one thing, I knew their religious and moralistic beliefs, which are very firm and inflexible. For another, I didn't want to hear about their sex lives and I certainly didn't want to share mine with them!

This is one reason I always shy away from making snap decisions and opinionated judgments for others, as the poster from Texas loves to make. Each person's situation is different and I'm one to always consider the ramifications and reactions, before I reveal intimate things about myself.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

wm1809

Mar 11, 2011, 5:21 PM

I am out to my wife and a few friends that's good enough for me

jackbirdjay

Mar 12, 2011, 12:20 AM

I am not out. Not sure how kids would take it.

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Mar 12, 2011, 1:18 AM

Absolutely agree wholeheartedly with our Fran. She's right on All levels here.
I just dont see the overwhelming need/desire to tell the whole world you are Bi. What business is it of the whole worlds, anyway? Not everyone needs to know your sexual preference or business. And face it Love....this isnt an ideal world for us Bi(bi's?) Not everyone is going to go "Oh hey cool!' It can get rather messy, and people Can become cold, and some even downright hostle too. Not Everyone is going to have an open mind. Folks that you've known your whole life can distance themselves, or flat walk away from you.
What I am saying is, you shouldnt feel the need to tell Everybody in your life. There are consequences, Hon, and it can ruin alot of lives big time...including yours. :( Losing key members of your family or good friends isnt worth the info.
But you have to be the one to decide this, its your life, Darlin. Good luck with whatever you choose to do. :}
Cat

coyotedude

Mar 12, 2011, 2:12 AM

I can't tell you what to do and won't even try. I'll only share my own experience; as always, take what you like and leave the rest.

I came out to my last girlfriend the night we started dating. As she and I have now been married 14 years, you could say it worked out rather well. But I was also lucky; a previous girlfriend to whom I'd come out did not take the news well at all, which was one reason she and I didn't last.

I came out to them because I personally felt that it was important for someone I was romantically involved with to know something about my sexual history. It was also important for me to be with someone who would accept me as I am. But those were very personal decisions on my part; different people have very different comfort levels about sharing such an intimate piece of themselves with others.

In terms of my family, I have come out to my mother and my youngest sister. Both have been very supportive, but I was pretty sure they would be from the outset. I have not come out to other members of my family; they would not understand, and frankly I don't want the headache or the heartache.

I am not out at work; my manager is a devout evangelical Christian and would make my work life more difficult than it needs to be. I also am very selective about which of my friends I come out to.

I am out to some of the LGBT community here in town and in Seattle. It feels good to be out and accepted by others who understand my situation. But I don't walk around town wearing a sign saying "bisexual", either.

These are the answers I have found to date. But the answers change as I grow and change. Two years ago, I'd have been terrified coming out to a room of gays, lesbians, and bisexuals whom I'd never met. I've done it twice now in the last 12 months. Who knows where I'll be a year or two from now?

I hope you find the answers that fit you the best.

Peace

tenni

Mar 12, 2011, 7:42 PM

I'm of the mind/position that there is no need to "come out" to anyone except perhaps someone that you are in a monogamous long term relationship. I'm of the generation that to come out as bisexual at 20 would have been impossible. First, I had no idea about the word bisexual or what it meant. My society did not discuss such matters or certainly no one that I knew nor any mainstream or sub culture that I had any contact with. A twenty year old today is in a different society where some people have a better understanding. I still do not see the need for Fiend to come out to everyone but just those that he thinks it is important to know this information. It may not be necessary to tell your parents and family who you think will reject you because of their values and attitudes. If you feel the need to tell some people, do so.

As far as I suck is concerned, I am coming to a point of thought that bisexuals like I suck are bisexuals whose beliefs might be seen to be closer to more open and politically assertive (if not aggressive) gay men. As assertive as I suck is, he is only speaking his view just as the rest of us. It seems to be a definite political perspective. He has some valid points to consider. I may be incorrect but I find men who take such a perspective have had a closer alliance to certain groups of political progressive gay men. They may be more sexually experimental as well and have developed an attitude that may differ from less politically assertive bisexuals.

It is every person's right to decide if or when to come out. There is nothing wrong with either perspective imo.

sparkmaster69

Mar 12, 2011, 7:53 PM

I don't know,But I think if you live your life honestly. People will speculate be people and talk and judge behind your back no matter what. So why would you care to Yell "I'm Bi" from the roof top's. People that matter will figure out who you are and not care.The rest who gives a fuck!

elian

Mar 12, 2011, 8:30 PM

I am out to a handful of people that I know are cool with it. There are still some relationships where I am in the closet because they are just too valuable to risk losing..people may GUESS that I'm not quite straight but unless they ask point blank I won't volunteer.

Katja

Mar 12, 2011, 8:41 PM

As assertive as I suck is, he is only speaking his view just as the rest of us.

Have you ever heard the expression 'yanking your chain'? I hate to say it but darling, I think your chain has well and truly been yanked.

From my reading of his posts, I suspect your friend Isuck is about as bisexual as the knocker on my front door.

naked950

Mar 12, 2011, 10:25 PM

When I came out as bi, it was like a weight was taken off. The culture I grew up in was black and white. A person was straight or gay. Period! So for most of my adult life I was confused. I loved every aspect of pussy, yet sucking cock seemed to be the most natural thing in the world to do.
My ex did me a favor when she left me for another. Not only was I free to be open as a nudist, it also freed me to explore my love of cock. About the same time, I came across an article from a mid-'70s Penthouse about bisexuals. THAT WAS ME! Over the next few years I tried exclusive gay affairs then back to M/F. I now knew. No confusion. I am bi/straight!
Now that I am out, if an old friend or relative does not understand, that is thier problem! :bipride:

UnlosingRanger

Mar 12, 2011, 10:33 PM

I haven't. I dunno, guess I'm just super paranoid, but I always feel like it'd be a bad idea. I have told a couple people I know, but I'm happy where I am.

Do what you feel is right, I guess.

tenni

Mar 13, 2011, 12:25 AM

jem_is_bi

Mar 15, 2011, 1:00 AM

I would like to be more out. But, my partner would not go with that at all.
I am otherwise happy with him and he with me.
So, to hell with being out
I am very comfortable with the way it is.
I know that some of my straight friend know. But, they like me for more than my true sexual desires, which does not include them. My family? I know there would be some major problems. But, life is all about solving problems or moving on when that does not work.

Bluebiyou

Mar 15, 2011, 1:36 AM

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!

(I figure if it's right for you, you'll find inspiration, otherwise you'll ignore.)

Lucidrayn

Mar 15, 2011, 4:51 AM

I have actually just joined 10mins ago... I'm also 20 years old kinda going through the same motions. ^ ^ I think You need to follow whatever you feel. Only a few people Know I am Bi, none in my family has until tomorrow >.> My father will handle it just fine, it's my mother who will religious stab me to death -.-, but theres just a time when you gotta let the people close to you know. Sooner or later. It may become a bigger issue.

Whatever you do make sure you are ready, you don't want to put yourself into that situation until you know it's time. Remember you don't have to tell the world. :D GL! Wish me luck too.

FinkDoodle

Mar 15, 2011, 5:33 AM

The bottom line is that your sexuality is nobody's business unless you plan on winding up in bed with them.

and that goes for bi, gay or straight . .

If you're comfortable telling people, that's fine . . but you're certainly under no obligation to broadcast it. In my case some people know I'm bi and some people don't . . it depends on what kind of relationship I have with them.

And this has nothing to do with pride in your sexuality, or lack thereof . .

It's just nobody's business . . just as it's nobody's business what kind of sex toys you use or what kind of porn you prefer. That's all between you and your partners . .

maxtor

Mar 15, 2011, 10:34 AM

my cousin is the only one that knows i am bi but i actually dont have any family left except a sister and i wouldnt care if she knew or not cause she dont even live around me close. my girlfriend doesnt know but maybe one of these days i will tell her. she is very open minded so i dont think it would be a problem but i will wait for the right moment to tell her. the only reason my cousin knows is cause he has fucked me and he is married so i know it is safe with him but he enjoyed plowing me.

bikiniman

Mar 16, 2011, 8:30 PM

It's just nobody's business . . just as it's nobody's business what kind of sex toys you use or what kind of porn you prefer. That's all between you and your partners . .

I agree, My wife is the only one who knows about my sexuality, and she is the only one who needs to know.

manhatten

Mar 17, 2011, 2:12 AM

I like being in the closet about it. It's sexually exciting to me to feel like I'm doing something I shouldn't be, and I think if I was openly out and relaxed about it all, I would lose that, and I don't care to.
Besides I'm still discovering exactly what I am all about in that area, and to go out and tell people about it(which is none of their biz anyway)I feel could make me feel 'pigeonholed', meaning from then on having to stay with this perception of how people now think about me, and I don't want that either.
I don't like hugging,kissing,hairy chests or anything really manly about an encounter, so not sure exactly how bi I even am. I think to tell someone the short version they would assume all that and that would be so far from the truth. They don't need to know more, so to me it's kind of a catch 22 whether to say anything at all, cause to do so means they need to know it all. That's personal stuff, and has no place being broadcast unless I suppose there's an ulterior motive for doing so.
I'm just a cocksucker and part-time xdresser, really.Can't there be another classification for that?

Katja

Mar 17, 2011, 5:37 PM

Katja
You are only in your mid twenties and just recently coming to terms with your bisexuality according to your profile. It is interesting that you have set yourself up as capable of declaring/deciding that a man is a bisexual man or not. Very interesting attitude to declare the bisexual man who has lived as an open bisexual man for more years than you are old as not a bisexual? WTF ???? Are you jumping into the same pool of charlatan experts as a few others on this site that go around declaring those who they do not agree with as trolls.

If bisexuality is a wide continuum, then why can I Suck not be on the farthest opposite side of the continuum of a bisexual man living with a woman and never having experienced same sex activity...and is too fearful to try? Both are bisexual if they feel sexually attracted to both men and women.

I am pondering this possibility after reading the thoughts of another bisexual man who is about your age or a few years younger on another bisexual site for bisexual men. He expresses very similar ideas as I Suck and seems to have a similar thought process. I wondered if they were the same man until I saw several photos of this younger man. They are not identical in their writing style but have a wisdom and perspective not tolerated very well on this site. Pity. They are all probably part of bisexuality or at least male bisexuality..it seems.

I have known of my sexuality far longer than my coming to terms with it. I have struggled with it for much of my adolescence and all of my adulthood. That knowledge has created many difficulties for me in my life. This is partly because of my refusal to embrace it, accept it and go out into the world unafraid and unashamed, so it can be argued that these difficulties are largely of my own making. But this knowledge, allied to my personal history and background, and the way I was brought up, makes me somewhat cynical about one who in essence tells me and others like me, that we are or have been closet cases, and shows positively no understanding of the turmoil which so many of us endure.

Isuck may indeed be bisexual, and it may be that my doubts do him an injustice. Yet to tell us in effect, in the words of Wellington, to 'Publish and be damned' without considering the consequences to ourselves, friends and family is an irresponsible piece of advice which none such as us should ever take. Tenni, You call it wisdom. I see little if any wisdom. I see stupidity and crassness. His words consistently appear to me to be those of the plant. That too may be an injustice to Isuck and if so he has my apologies. But my criticism of the irresponsible nature of his advice stands, and I make no apology for that.

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Mar 17, 2011, 6:56 PM

I suspect he's called I suck for a reason. Watch the wording, Loves. Its coming. I see it building already...
Cat

jem_is_bi

Mar 18, 2011, 12:40 AM

Maggot

Mar 18, 2011, 7:11 AM

I'm not technically "Out", but I've never been in the closet either. I don't open conversations with "Hi, I'm Maggot and I'm bisexual", but if anyone can be bothered to ask, I'll confirm that I am in fact bisexual. If they don't ask then they either don't want or don't need to know. I don't hide the fact that I am attracted to both men and women. Coming out is a tough decision and one that only you can make - you know the people you will be coming out to. Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.

funfred60

Mar 18, 2011, 7:31 AM

Hard to give advice, but at 62, I was I had made the choice not to hide my bisexualality 40 years ago. Now, towards the end of my life, I find it very frustrating to keep hiding it and feel it's too late. I've lived with it most of my life and hid it from my family and my spouse. None of the people who love me really know who I am. I'll carry my secret to my grave and Wouldn't want this for anyone that I love, to heavy a burden. Times have changed a lot over the years, I don't think as many people care about what your sexual preference is and those that love you, will accept you.

Katja

Mar 18, 2011, 7:45 AM

What is wrong with someone encouraging us to be a little more demanding of respect? It is worthwile opinion to consider, even if not right for everyone. We very much need some people as open as he is about being bisexual.
Further, I am mostly gay and definely suck and swallow too.

We earn respect. We do not demand it. There is nothing wrong with encouraging respect and trying to earn it. What I do feel is that Isuck is lacking in respect for those of our number who remain secretive of their sexuality. There is an encouragement to rashness which is reprehensible and leaves me with suspicion as to his motives.

So you know Isuck personally which enables you to say he is definately mostly gay? He may be, but his use of English makes me question that as well as his his sincerity.

Papelucho

Mar 18, 2011, 11:08 AM

There is an encouragement to rashness which is reprehensible and leaves me with suspicion as to his motives.

What is this, a witch hunt? The attacks on him are pretty vicious.

I'm an out bisexual, and it can be hard. Society is built for straight people, so you will give up privileges that you may have been used to before. As Zwitter says, you will learn which of your relationships are based on true connection, and which were just matters of convenience. None of this has to be a bad thing.

Like many others have said during this thread, do what you know is right for you. Some people have to come out to feel at peace, others are fine the way they are.

Katja

Mar 18, 2011, 3:07 PM

What is this, a witch hunt? The attacks on him are pretty vicious.

I'm an out bisexual, and it can be hard. Society is built for straight people, so you will give up privileges that you may have been used to before. As Zwitter says, you will learn which of your relationships are based on true connection, and which were just matters of convenience. None of this has to be a bad thing.

Like many others have said during this thread, do what you know is right for you. Some people have to come out to feel at peace, others are fine the way they are.

Believe me, darling, I know how difficult being an out bisexual can be in some quarters. I do not do witch hunts so let's dispose of that one. I hardly think you can construe my doubts about Isuck as vicious and know only too well from personal experience what viscious and witch hunts entail. My doubts are extremely gentle compared to that which can be considered viscious. Certainly I question and criticise as is my right, and as is his and your right to do the same to me.

luvsgirlyclothes

Mar 18, 2011, 5:57 PM

I struggled my entire life(45) thinking I was gay and living straight. Until one day my shrink(3 one) said UR BI !!!!! and I was like oh yeah ....dur... I have allways liked both and I am now out to my wife. I have just stated going back to school in hopes of starting a second career were I will be more accepted. Just coming out to my wife was such an incredible weight off my shoulders that I dont really care about it much anymore, I dont hve to feel like I am hiding. I am me, for the first time in my life!!!!!!:bipride:

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Mar 18, 2011, 6:04 PM

I'm tellin ya, guys...watch the writing style. This person is itching for starting some H&D..Hate and discontent. You watch..a banning is in the making.
Cat...sittin back ands watchin. :}

tenni

Mar 18, 2011, 6:31 PM

Cat
You should stop these personal attacks on I Suck. You seem to be itching to ban him and he has said nothing to you or about you as far as I can tell. Whether he is "your troll" or whether you are delusional is up for grabs. Stop this harassment Cat or maybe you should be reported for breaking rule 2 and rule 3. Just because he doesn't fall into your line of thinking doesn't mean that you are entitled to make these witch hunt style personal attacks. He has said one or two things about another member that I don't agree with but I've read worse on this site.

I've read his perspective before on the issue of being out and being opposed to lesbians. I don't agree with either but they are his views and under sexual freedom of speech should be able to make them. I find these views expressed by a few bisexual men who see their romantic connections with men and their sexual connections to women as non romantic and purely physical. It is perhaps the almost opposite of many bisexual men who post on this site who see only romantic connections with women and any sexual interaction with men as purely physical. We shouldn't expect lock step uniformity on bisexual perspectives should we?

How much contact do you have Cat and Katja with the male gay bondage and politically gay rights aggressive movement (for a lack other term)? I've only read statements from such individuals but his thoughts are not too far off their belief. I don't think that he has posted or even been on this site for a few days (March 13) and you two continue your personal attacks on him.

I'm tellin ya, guys...watch the writing style. This person is itching for starting some H&D..Hate and discontent. You watch..a banning is in the making.
Cat...sittin back ands watchin. :}

Katja

Mar 18, 2011, 7:03 PM

How much contact do you have Cat and Katja with the male gay bondage and politically gay rights aggressive movement? I've only read statements from such individuals but his thoughts are not too far off their belief. I don't think that he has posted for a few days (March 13) and you two continue your personal attacks on him.
I do believe you will find that my last few posts were in response to quite valid concerns raised by you and others. There is no intention on my part to silence Isuck for I believe in freedom of speech as much as anyone. I do not consider what I have said personal at all, but what I see as valid concerns and criticisms of his style and narrative. I am surely allowed the same freedoms as is he. Whatever he, you or anyone else says is about me is fine, as long as I am accorded the same right of reply as I would accord you or anyone else.

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Mar 18, 2011, 11:47 PM

Yeah thank you Tenni, but I'll express my opinion Where I see fit with no thanks to you. My opinion is MY OWN and I dont need you or anyone else infringing on it. I'll keep my opinion, you keeps Yours. That ok by you? If it isnt, oh well. I'm not the only one who has this opinion, so we'll see what happens. Its not a personal attack, like you're throwing at me at the moment, I'm just telling folks to not bother getting riled up over something like this. And just like you, I'll express myself when I choose to..
Hell must be warming back up now. We arent agreeing..lol
Cat

darkeyes

Mar 19, 2011, 6:49 AM

Dont give a bugger whether he is a trollie or not, tenni.. but isuck does have a way with him right enuff which gets peeps backs up.. nowt wrong with that in itsel'.. but its hardly congenial 2 good and friendly relations on site an say so very little which is constructive whatsoever.. an as such nowt wrong with that either.. Cat may b right an he is headin' for gettin banned.. hope not... cos he serves a purpose which is pretty useful in a way.. if he is bisexual.. he is a salutory warnin' an reminder that you have some right dicks among bisexuals who are as bad in their own way as the worst of the straight and gay worlds.. but his advice, such as it is is unlikely to be followed by too many, cos most people have a brain and are unlikely to be so stupid as to rush out and declare themselves to the world without usin' that brain.. whether he is bisexual, gay or straight, he has a pretty twisted view of lesbians and really doesnt have much of a clue about them as people. Actually, it seems to me accusations of mysandry and his view of lesbians tend to tell us more about his msogyny. And if he is but a poor llil lost trollie? Well, he keeps us entertained with his folly.. sometimes he does, trollie or not, have a little something to say, and even something useful... not in this thread.. but in others.. whether by accident or design the daft sod isnt always the fool...

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Mar 19, 2011, 12:48 PM

And if he is but a poor llil lost trollie? Well, he keeps us entertained with his folly.. sometimes he does, trollie or not, have a little something to say, and even something useful... not in this thread.. but in others.. whether by accident or design the daft sod isnt always the fool...

Thank you Fran-Honey. :} And just like the troll's right to free speech, I reserve the right to excersize Mine, and in the light of my current medical "condition" I was doing very good to not tell our Dumpling Tenni to bite my ample semi-white assage. Sorry Tenni, but ya came close. Women in this condition understands my meaning. Just be thankful I had caffeine and Advil. ;) We good now?
Cat-feeling better.

darkeyes

Mar 19, 2011, 2:13 PM

*laffs n blows kissie* Wudn dream a even thinkin bout tryin 2 deprive ya ofya right 2 free speech, Cat... am only a lil dottle afta all, an ne way wot wud the world b wivoutya lil pearls? Meds or no meds.. wud b a brave person indeed who tries 2 keepya quiet!!!:tong:

heavymetal43f

Mar 19, 2011, 2:55 PM

i have come out online and to my real family and friends..but my family is another matter...maybe one of these days, will come out 100%--:)

cuttin2dachase

Mar 19, 2011, 5:10 PM

I've said this before in other threads, I think...but I choose to be closeted for 2 reasons: (1) because my bi-ness would not be accepted by my family, str8 friends or coworkers. I would be shunned and ostracized by people dear to me (but for whom I have no sexual desire). (2) because being secretly bi is fun! It's erotically exciting and taboo and deliciously different to have fun sex with likeminded bi women and bi men (for whom I do have sexual desire) who can separate emotional feelings from sexual feelings and just enjoy sex and intimacy for the sake of sex and intimacy (and for its many kinks/ fetishes/ variations!).

IndyBiFun

Mar 19, 2011, 6:21 PM

I'm out to just a few select people. I wish I were out entirely but then I figure those that know are the one's that I want to know at this point.

Best of luck to you.

tenni

Mar 23, 2011, 9:06 AM

Cat
A person who makes a personal attack rarely sees their mistake. Your "opinion" is a personal attack on another site member. It isn't an opinion about what is being said but who is saying it. Comment on what he specifically said and not labelling him a troll. I thought that you opposed labelling? You are violating the rules of personal attack.

On this site, labelling by i actually using the word "troll" or inference is a means of dismissing what someone posts or thinks.

matutum

Mar 23, 2011, 12:45 PM

I am mostly still in. I came out a little in my last job and it didn't work out to good so for now till congress passes GLBT rites laws in the work place I ll keep it to my self

a law won't make people accept you any better.If i come across a person who makes acomment about being Bi then if its appropriate I'll tell them so am I, but it doesn't mean I'm available for sex. I'm married to a woman and I have many urges to want to be with a man, but i want a bi man,someone who enjoys the ways of women also.My wife isn't interested in bi anything period.So if I choose to be with a man or bi woman the choice is mine to make. Broadcasting my sexuality is my business. It doesn't make me any less of a man cuz I'm bi. It would possibly cause more harm that good.Your sexuality is your business, if you think you need people to say "hey thats great" the ones who will hold it against u are in the biggest %.As an employer..I don't want to know as long as u do your job. Its a private matter and your business period,I don't need a parade,or blaring horns..

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Mar 23, 2011, 1:58 PM

Ok Tenni, I have had my hand slapped already. You made your point already, lets leave it at that and move on, shall we? Let us just agree to disagree. :tongue: Have a nice day.
Cat

frikidiki

Mar 25, 2011, 4:45 AM

I am mostly still in. I came out a little in my last job and it didn't work out to good so for now till congress passes GLBT rites laws in the work place I ll keep it to my self

You have the same problem I do. We're both truckers, and we're both in Texas. Neither are particularly conducive to being out as anything but het.

I was living in Austin and tried being out, but damn if I didn't get crap for it from people...in Austin! I'm pretty sure I lost one job over it, but of course I have no real proof.

I'm selectively out. I don't tell anyone unless they need to know.

mikey3000

Mar 25, 2011, 2:45 PM

I was somewhat out, but I'm ready to go running back into the closet and draw an end to this whole bi thing. I'm finding it very difficult to juggle a wife and a boyfriend.

autowill98

Mar 25, 2011, 3:54 PM

I usually don't post on here, but here it goes. I'm a 20 year old college student, and as the title simply says, I'm considering finnaly coming out of the closet as being bi, even though it's something that scares the living daylights out of me to say to my friends and family, even though a few people know already. It's not so much a necessity that I have to come out, more just something that I want to get off my back if I can. I'm just worried about how my family will react, becuz I don't want them to think negatively of me if I say so Q_Q. So what do you guys think, should I come out or not?

After reading the post If you feel compeled to do so do it, but realize that your life well change. I would say while in school and still meeting friends and still trying to chose a life keep all options open. I did and it opened doors.On the other hand I came out to a friened I have knowen for 40 years and he was nice and after i left our visit he does not ans e-mails, tex messages or any other form of contact. so there are things to think about.

omsapo

Jul 3, 2011, 8:19 AM

I am relatively out, my family knows and my class knows, but i still dont walk around with a bi flag. I have discovered that the actual coming out is hard but you feel so great after wards, I haven't gotten any bad responses and everyone is totally ok with it, btw i'm a 17 year old boy. It's hard and awkward every time you tell someone but once you get passed it, it's really fun to be open.

look4one

Jul 3, 2011, 9:05 AM