Coming out

[narie]

Hi, im a teen who is thinking of coming out but very unsure.

I always thought i was straight till about a year and a bit ago when i started to get very strong feelings for a certain person in particular and felt as though i wanted to be with her all the time and kiss her. (Basically what i had felt for another man) Im unsure if i am actually bisexual or not but i have had these feelings for multiple people of the same sex for a little while now. I would really like to find out if i am by seeing somebody or something but its difficult because i dont know anyone who is and no local groups either

Any advice


Thanks x

[NotLostJustWandering]

Hi, Narie. Not sure how much help I can be, but I would advise you to feel free to mention your feelings to friends you can trust without worrying about the labels "bisexual", "gay", "lesbian" or whatever. There are plenty of us much older than you who have tried this label and that, and who are still figuring out the nature of our sexuality and how to live with it.

I would definitely seek out queer community wherever you can find it, even if you have to travel halfway across Britain. Are you sure there are no groups anywhere near you? I trust you have already used the Net to seek them out...? Are you free to travel alone? You haven't said anything about your family, and of course a huge issue is whether it will be safe to come out to your parents.

Most of this site's members are in the USA, but we do have a few members in the UK; hopefully they will be able to give you more specific help and advice.

Be brave but careful. Best wishes.

[darkeyes]

You're in the south of England hun.. if its the south east in particular, there are a myriad of lgbt groups in London and Brighton in particular.. but just about any city you care to mention has its own scene.. Google it.. which is prob just what u've done to find this place..

But I wouldnt come out until u know what ur coming out as.. ur unsure.. until u are sure, I suggest u dont do a thing except try and find out to confirm or otherwise.. so find out where your local scene is, and local lgbt group and chat to someone.. go along to their meetings, social events, pubs, clubs... Not asks if u can travel, so if u can and have to do it... just don't do summat daft and come out if u have the slightest doubt.. ur talking about coming out.. so question? Since u are thinking of it, can u not talk to your parents? Friends? U dont have 2 tell them that ur are bi but that ur not sure.. I know its not easy, but if u came out as anything they were going to find out.. and it may be that they have an inkling in any case...

..just dont come out to the world until you know u have something to come out for..:)

[narie]

thanks both your comments have been very helpful to me.
i am from kent as it goes. but i just dont really want to travel to far
thanks for replying appreciate it x

[innaminka]

My advice is be a little more certain than being "unsure but with certain feelings."

Coming out is potentially a traumatic time both personally and amongst your family/friends.

And rescinding such a position may be way more difficult than you know. Labels stick even after their Use-by date.

Just go very carefully - you are young, so be very certain before you take such a major step.