Any of you ever been to a therapist...?

[Nadir]

Sorry for not having posted on a while. Been having lots of things to do around the house and also on the university. How are you guys doing? Special kisses for Cat and Realist and Fran, I miss them the most when I´m not on this site :)

Just being doing some sort of "research" on bisexuality and mental health of bisexual people. In many of the papers I have read bisexual people are at more risk of developing depression or anxiety disorders than straight people, mostly because of the feelings of being different than their straight peers or because homophobia (both internalized or coming from other people). However, apparently, thanks to the increasingly common acceptance of other sexual orientations distinct from heterosexuality, it seems that for young LGBT things are better than they were before.

Anyway, I went to a therapist once, when I was nineteen years old (that was three years ago), on my second year at university, before I dropped out from my former degree. Actually it had nothing to do with my sexuality. I was feeling depressed and my mother noticed, so she told me the phone number of a psychologist and told me to give it a try. Actually, it turned out I wasn´t cut out for being a "patient". The woman (meaning my therapist) had some good intentions, but I doubt that anything she did was really helpful for me. I talked about my obsessions with her (among them the philosophical debate on my mind where I couldn´t decide if the world was real or just a figment of my imagination and I was really a brain in a vat or something like that). In the end, I just decided to drop out of therapy (at her discouragement, she told me we were making progress, but I really was not feeling like it).

In my family (especially the maternal side), there is a slight prevalence of mental illness. My maternal aunt has bipolar disorder, and both her daughters (my cousins) have struggled with substance abuse and depression at some point of their lives (one of them even ended up selling her body to support her drug use when she was a teen until my mother literally kicked her ass into rehab...). Besides that, my grandfather had Alzheimer´s disease also, and the last years of his life he was getting progresively worse day by day.

The thing I wanted to ask you if... have you ever attended therapy for some trouble of whatever kind? I mean psychological therapy, like a psychiatrist, or a social worker or a clinical psychologist. And if you attended, how did you feel about it afterwards? Do you think it really helped you or you would rather not do it again? Was it because of your sexual orientation or because some other reason?

[Realist]

Hey Nadir! I was wondering if school was overwhelming you!

Yes, I've been to therapy....once for some marriage conflicts and once, years ago, when I was feeling freakish over being bisexual.

From my experiences, a therapist mostly tries to get you to figure out your own problems, by guiding you certain directions.

The psychologist, who I saw for marriage problems, made me realize I was trying to live my life for others while disregarding my own interests and feelings. Instead of my ex getting the proof she wanted that I was nuts, he gave me the inspiration to leave for good! The only problem was, I should have seen him years sooner!

The doctor I saw because of my feeling that I was the only bisexual person in the world, didn't help me at all. He was a kind of biblical scholar and basically caused me to feel more guilty, than ever! He even thought that I should go to one of those religious camps, where they would "cure" me!

Luckily, about that time I met an older retired nurse, who was also bisexual. Over a period of a year, or so, she helped me get myself sorted out. She helped me, when no one else seemed able to.

I wish I could give you more scientific examples, but those were my only forays into the realm of psychiatry!

Gald to see you back!

[the sacred night]

I've gone to a lot of therapy and been in two psychiatric hospitals.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Yes honey. I've spoken to therapists after a rape, and for Veterans counsiling. I went in with my normal chip on my shoulder, but after a while felt tremendously better for having talked to her. She was a great lady who didnt talk down to me and was very understanding to me. The second, the Veteran's councilor was Great. He was a Monumental help to me in understanding my husband's problems with the PSTD he had, and helped me learn how to cope with it, and how to spot the signs and trigger symptoms.
Definately do go see a therapist. You'll be surprised at how much better you'll feel after getting some things off your chest, and perhaps he/she can give you some peace of mind.;)
Muah to your cheek..
Cat

[roy m cox]

i have and it helped me some what ..

[_Joe_]

The thing I wanted to ask you if... have you ever attended therapy for some trouble of whatever kind? I mean psychological therapy, like a psychiatrist, or a social worker or a clinical psychologist. And if you attended, how did you feel about it afterwards? Do you think it really helped you or you would rather not do it again? Was it because of your sexual orientation or because some other reason?

Funny enough, if I didn't have a stable job ready to go into after graduation, I would have studied along the lines of mental help as I loved helping people. I remember being 20 and in the Bahamas hanging out at the bar there (like they cared what age you were to serve rum drinks) and this couple were having trouble with their young teenager son. I just listened to them for a bit, and gave them some advice that came natural seeing how I was right off that age.

They found me two days later and thanked me as it seemed whatever I said they tried and their vacation got turned around and had a great time. That was one memory that stuck out alot...but there were other times.

ANYWAY.

I've been to a therapist and shrink several times. It was years ago, but only recently did I learn it seems I come from a bloodline of wackos. The fact that I recognized issues early and got help before it got the best of me smoothed it all out.

It felt great afterwards. One, there's so many unsures or questions in your head when you start. And just talking to someone helps you sort it out. Now, folks frown on talking to a total stranger about all your personal shit when you should have 'friends', but 1.) therapist/shrinks can be told things that never leave that room. 2.) Friends accidently or over time purposely let those things slip 3.) Shrink can help you sort those things in an order so that you can process and manage it - give you a perspective you never considered. 4.) Since you do talk to a friend, some things like sexuality or things against the norm may get held back, thus someone like a shrink it all just spills out easily.

I didn't go for my sexual issues at first, but it came up in the end. I haven't been back in years, but know two people well that go regularly for problems I fear may be a long-time running. Good news is I have seen family members with the same problems ignore getting help, and their lives are fucked up to say it nicely. Mental health still has some way to go, but it's better than nothing and shouldn't be ignored for whatever reasons

[darkeyes]

When you suffer recurrent bouts of depression as I do, visits to a therapist, if not inevitable can help and help a great deal.. much depends on the therapist.. several I have visited have been charlatans no more no less.. the one who helped me most died several years ago and I will miss him should I ever, as I fully expect to do, suffer yet another interminable bout of blackness.. once in fact he helped me from such despair (no, not when Kate and I broke up, but then too) I would never be able to repay him for me retaining my sanity..

Yet for all that I am a great believer in the "heal thyself" philosophy.. but sometimes such is our needs that we cant do it alone and must go outside of our own head or our own circle of friends and loved ones(and they are the best therapy I know off after my late lamented shrink..). Sometimes I do believe that some of us ruish off to therapy much to easily, and accept much to readily what they tell us.. the US is particularly prone to this, but we are catching up.. money to be made isnt there?? Or am I simply too suspicious and cynical? My therapy was paid for by the NHS, for private health treatment for body or mind is not something I support or would ever accept, except in the direst and most extreme of circumstances and even then if only if no NHS treatment or therapy was available (I know I'm banging on the big drum of state provided healthcare yet again.. sue me...).

[Arthas]

Been to therapist dozens of times. Been in one institution. They thought that listening to demented people scream at night and meeting them would help, but in only made me more interested in my state of mind.

I'm not planing to go anymore since I've read 17 books about psychology and 14 about psychiatry. It only made me worse. My last therapist was a student and needed someone for a book he's writing, so he was mildly helping me, later his mentor joined our sessions. It wasn't much helping me. When I got tired of it, I diagnosed myself and left soon. They were amazed with it.

My problem is that I embraced my state of mind. I suffer from it. But I enjoy it. + I've been to neurologist several times, there are parts of my brain that work and they usually shouldn't. My brain is probably "rewired" which explains a lot of things.

[Paul B.]

Yes. Although the therapist I saw advertised her practice as catering to LGBT community, she tried to tell me that there are few people who are truly bisexual. She identified as being a lesbian herself & had a female partner (although she had been married & had children & didn't 100% rule out the possibility of being in another heterosexual relationship "with a special kind of man"). I tried unsuccessfully for a time to identify as gay, but that just doesn't fit for me any more than trying to be straight does. I was able to deal some things in the sessions with her e.g. internalized homophobia & was a place for a largely closeted guy to be out, so on balance I think it helped.

[mikey3000]

I probably should be in therapy, but in stead of that I decided to come here. It's worked for me.;)

[tenni]

I think that going to a therapist/counsellor/ psychologist etc. may be helpful. I went at two different times in my life. The first time, I was in my mid teens and I had come face to face with something that truly shocked me to my core. It helped me get through it. The second time, I was in my thirties. I had self doubts and went but apparently didn't really need it. I do not even remember why I went as far as what self doubts that I had. I think that may have been an example of either me not articulating my issues or the counsellor was the wrong fit for me.

I think what happened to queer id with a lesbian counsellor telling him that there are very few real bisexuals is a sign to run like hell from such a counsellor. Regardless of the counsellor's sexuality, the counsellor should be able to help but I wonder how many really can? How much is really understood about bisexuality? Just because there is a B in GLBT doesn't mean that each group is the same with the same needs beyond perhaps political needs of acceptance by the mainstream.




Yes. Although the therapist I saw advertised her practice as catering to LGBT community, she tried to tell me that there are few people who are truly bisexual. She identified as being a lesbian herself & had a female partner (although she had been married & had children & didn't 100% rule out the possibility of being in another heterosexual relationship "with a special kind of man"). I tried unsuccessfully for a time to identify as gay, but that just doesn't fit for me any more than trying to be straight does. I was able to deal some things in the sessions with her e.g. internalized homophobia & was a place for a largely closeted guy to be out, so on balance I think it helped.

[void()]

Been to therapists for most of life. Mainly due to various emotional disorders, i.e. rage to the point of blacking out, anxiety, depression, social awkwardness, and none of that really from bisexuality. I had one therapist attempt explaining away my bisexuality due to not having an adequate male role model growing up. I laughed. "Sir, I had a great father. I took real good care of myself, thank you."

They've also suggested I suffer from PTSD due to surviving twenty odd years of physical, mental, emotional abuse from my step-father. He was a long haul truck driver, doped up, drank and was in general a really crazy s.o.b. Mom asked once a few years back if I was bisexual because he had done something to me sexually. I laughed again, "would he have been living this long?" Because my grandfather and uncle were both infantrymen who served in two nasty wars, they had a friend who was special forces, at a young age I was taught to do what is needed.

In some respects to be honest, I could be seen as a killer, born and bred. And yes, to some degree, been there, done that. Really don't ever want to go back to such living. It eats you alive.

In all I'm not sure therapy has helped when compared to finding two people who love me. :) They keep me crooked, or whatever passes for 'blended in' and 'normal'.

[coyotedude]

Yes. I have been in therapy both as an individual and within a couple.

Depression and alcoholism affect both sides of my family. Thankfully, I have never been an alcoholic. (There, but for the grace of God, go I...) But I have battled depression to the point of serious suicidal thoughts on more than one occasion.

In my case, I continue to rely on both therapy and medication to help me keep my depression under control. There's no silver bullet or magic cure; keeping yourself healthy can be hard work. But there's no shame in reaching out for help if you need it, either.

I should mention that I don't attribute my depression to my bisexuality. But I can see how many bisexuals struggling with internalized homophobia or lack of support from family and friends might find themselves also struggling with depression.

Peace

[Nadir]

Well, first of all, thank you very much to everyone for their answers. And sorry for answering so late myself, this week has been indeed a busy one, but luckily, next one I am on holidays, so I will make some good of it and get a break from university life.

I dunno exactly what´s wrong with me. Sometimes I get this weird feelings about the world that sorrounds me feeling unreal or something, or I get obsessed over pretty much everything. It would be very long and strange to explain here on post, but I have talked to a friend of mine who is a psychiatric nurse and he told me that the things I say have some resemblance to Obssesive-Compulsive Disorder or so... I don´t know if it is true or not, but after my week-long vacation I might make an appointment to a therapist. Thank you to everyone for sharing their experiences with me. Actually it has helped me somewhat to see that everyone needs a break from time to time. When I went to a therapist for the first time, I was afraid to be seen as "weak" or "crazy", and that´s why I treated it as some sort of secret when discussing the topic with other people.

Realist, as always, the experiences of your life helps me to shed some light on the path that Im taking with mine. I have never known anyone who has visited a "biblical scholar", I have never been a particularly religious person, even if I was born and raised in the Catholic faith. Cat, Im sorry to hear that you had an experience like that. No woman should ever suffer that, and I´m glad to see that you came out of it stronger than before; and I´m glad that your husband also got the help that he needed. And for Darkeyes, my lady from my favorite country on the planet, I´m glad to see that you are suspicious as ever ;) (Yeah, I think that indeed, while there are many therapists who are sincerely dedicated and true to their jobs, some of them are in it just for the money...).

Anyway, Im glad to see that Im not the only one that feels kind of down some days :) Sometimes I like to share my feelings with my friends and family, but there are indeed some parts of my life that they cannot understand, even if they love me and support me everyday.