Came out to my wife yesterday and it went great!

[r1648513]

I have been sexuay interested in men since I have been interested in women. The interest in women was stronger, and I pushed back the feelings about men associating it with guilt and shame. I got married young and never dealt with my bi feelings until i obsessed on it when my sex life with my wife got bad after kids. I finally came to terms with, understood and accepted my bisexuality a couple of years back. I have been wanting to tell my wife since but had poor communication with her. After working on our relationship and slowly getting the communication better I finally came out to her yesterday and it feels great. Funny thing is, we both ranked ourselves about the same on the Kinsey scale and share some threesome fantasies though she is far from read to go through with it.

I haven't told her that I was with a man once a year ago and don't want to hurt her. I don't have permission to experiment outside the marriage and she holds a strict view of monogymy. But, I am in a better place now than I was before and see the possibility for the first time of having the sex life I want without messing up my family.

Also, I want to thank the people in the forums here for your help in getting me here.

[bityme]

Congratulations!

Not only on coming out to your wife, but even more for having worked on your relationship and communication to the point that you felt you could.

No matter how you might deal with your sexual desires in the future, keep those lines of communication open, they are precious. Improved communication will not only make a difference in the sexual aspects of your relationship, you will find an overall improvement in all aspects.

Best regards,

Pappy

[mikey3000]

Yes, congradulations!!!

Give it time for it to sink in. It's a huge thing. And take baby steps while you keep talking things through. Communication is so important.

Best of luck and keep us informed.

[bizel]

that is fantastic! such a relief, i bet. i agree with mikey, baby steps to start with. it's a lot for a wife to take in. she's going to wonder how it will all fit in with your present lifestyle, and if she's anything like me, her imagination will work overtime with questions etc. i may get screamed down for this, but confession may soothe your soul- it takes the burden off your shoulders and passes it to your partner to cope with. she's going through enough at the moment. a time may appear later when you want to bring it up. i don't believe now is the time, if ever. normally i would say honesty if the way to go, but realistically, for some relationships it can be fatal. so from now, try to start the way you mean to go and you'll sleep better. anyway, you know where we are if you need us. so happy for you both. hug, b.

[lizard-lix]

Congrats! Good luck going forward!

Working on it is always worth it....

HUGGGGGGGGS!

Liz

[IndyBiFun]

Congrats! That's awesome!

That HAS to be a huge relief for you. As others have said, give her time and some space for it to sink in and yes, take little steps at this time.

That's fabulous! One last thing. You have a special wife and I'm sure you recognize that.

[nwmscurious]

Let me add a hearty congratulations as well. You'll find the relief in being more open is immense. :bounce:

Bob :bipride:

[DuckiesDarling]

Congrats, I wish you all well.

[justcurious4me]

Big CONGRATS to you!!! It is a huge step to be able to come out to your spouse and a bigger relief... It's also great that you both have some bisexual thoughts that you share as well... That really makes things easier. The only thing that made life a little easier when I came out to my wife was that she knew I was bi before I did... I guess that it's true that your spouse can get to know you better than you know yourself. I have to agree with everyone else tho... Give her some time to let it sink in... As for your past experience tho, shelf it... You don't want to kick up waves when it's smooth sailin'. Bizel is very smartly thought out on her advice as always... Once again, congrats, and I hope this leads to MANY rewarding experiences together for both you and your wife!!! :)