Tough Times

[Drkluvtheory99]

So for the past month or two I have been in a relationship that seems to fail everytime we try to work things out. I love this woman with all my heart and she loves me but we just cant seem to make it work. I was in a relationship prior to getting back with her with my room mate who is a guy. She has been very upset about this but I can not do anything to change my living situation or the fact that he is my ex.

So I still have feelings for my ex and love her very much. I feel as if my ex and I ended way before we even begun but oh well life goes on. I support him in everything he does. I show her love and support her. I have very bad trackrecords with relationships.

I have no idea what to do anymore. When I find someone I am interested in we end before we begin or they wont give us a chance. I seem to attract chaos. Dont get me wrong I believe a certain amount of chaos is needed in life but come on there is a limit. Any advice for me please.

[AidanS57]

Just from reading the post it sounds like you still have a thing for your room mate and your girlfriend is picking up on that and feeling threatened. All you can do is continue to talk to your girlfriend but at some point you might wanna look at moving to another place if you can't get whatever is between you and your room mate resolved. :2cents:


Aidan

[Drkluvtheory99]

Just from reading the post it sounds like you still have a thing for your room mate and your girlfriend is picking up on that and feeling threatened. All you can do is continue to talk to your girlfriend but at some point you might wanna look at moving to another place if you can't get whatever is between you and your room mate resolved. :2cents:


Aidan

I do and i dont still feel for him. He is my first boyfriend, my first gay relationship and helped me come out and be who I really am. I mean you always have a connection to your first with things in love and sex. That is what makes me say I do have a thing and I dont. I am planning on moving out when I can.

[tenni]

"I have no idea what to do anymore."

Well, now you do know what to do. You need to move out of your present situation before you can expect another lover to accept a relationship with you. Make that your number one priority and maybe your life may progress more to what you desire? If you still have feelings for your ex roomie, I don't think that it is fair to a new lover to accept the living situation. Your life is complicated enough without living with a former lover on top of things.

[Realist]

I loved a person I could not get along with, too. The desire and need was blinding us to the fact that we were terrible together. That's an awful situation and I guess each of us probably has to deal with things like that differently.

We'd crave each other, have fun, do things together, then something would get on our nerves, so there we'd go again! It was just not meant to be lovers for life.

I couldn't sleep, work, or do anything, without dwelling on that situation. After trying for some time to make things work, I finally broke off all contact. I chose to end it, cold turkey. Gradually, I began to move on, see other people, and finally found someone compatible.

If I had stayed where I was, I would have never met the wonderful person I'm now with. Oh, I still think of my old lover from time to time, but I am certainly happier and much better off, now.

You're young, intelligent, learning more about yourself every day....you'll figure it out and I think you'll be just fine, in the future.

Good luck!

[Plumhead2]

I seem to be the evangelist for counseling, but I do so because it was so helpful to me and my life. If you are finding yourself in a pattern of bad relationships, you need to find out what it is that is causing you to be unsuccessful in those relationships. Sometimes you need someone who is not in a personal relationship with you, someone who is trained, who can help you to see why you are doing the things you do to mess up your relationships. If you want to have a successful relationship, you have to put your best foot forward. By that I mean, you need to come to understand your motives and how to be a better chooser of a partner and how to be a better mate.

The trick is finding someone who is well trained and good at counseling. I wish you the best of luck.

[DuckiesDarling]

I gotta say I agree with the advice you already have recieved but I'll take it one further.

Why are you letting your ex treat you like a partner without the sex when you have a partner?

When you figure out the answer to that you might just have the answer to why your girlfriend is upset over the living conditions. :2cents:

[Drkluvtheory99]

I gotta say I agree with the advice you already have recieved but I'll take it one further.

Why are you letting your ex treat you like a partner without the sex when you have a partner?

When you figure out the answer to that you might just have the answer to why your girlfriend is upset over the living conditions. :2cents:

That is a very good question!! I have no idea I guess its hope or giving my ex the benefit of the doubt cuz they havent had a relationship like ours before. I think he might have gotten scared or thought it was 2 good to be true or the fact that i am several years younger idk i just dont know at all. Thats not the first time someone said that to me. SMDH!! I did this to myself.