Encounter Etiquette?

[Mr GNG]

Hi, I’m just starting out on my sexual adventures. My ad has been posted for some time now; in that time I have received numerous responses to meet up with people for causal encounters. What I’ve found quite shocking and concerning is the amount of unsafe sex offers I’ve had, especially from people who seem to be very active.
Although I personally would never accept such an offer, I understand as adults; it all comes down to personal choices.
Is there a social etiquette of trust in somebody’s word that they are clean?
For those people who do take-up these offers and the people who make them, how often do you get tested?
This question is purely out of interest and not intended to be scornful in anyway, as I’ve said we are all consenting adults.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol personally, I would simply not pick up a casual stranger regardless of what they say...... cos anybody can lie and even the best tests can fail or be read wrong... but it has more to do with the fact that I am faithful, monogamous and currently celibate until my partner returns from over seas

now I know that there are a number of people that will quote risks and odds and all that stuff.... but it comes down to one thing.... you either get infected, or you don't...... the hows, wheres, whys, if's, buts and maybes, do not matter...... but armchair net doctors will always argue on the net using risks and odds

I sound to be brutal and harsh, but hey, I lost my sister to a single, random encounter..... and yet the odds say.... yadda yadda yadda... so that is why I ignore the odds and risks etc.....

there is unsafe sex, safe sex, safer sex and omg you don't have sex ?????? btw even then you are not safe, lol

and yeah many people think that being clean, means having a shower... not getting a std test, cos a positive test can mean that their sex life dries up......and there is no way in hell they will go without sex.....

[Realist]

I agree with LDD!

I've had some experience with someone who contacted AIDS. That's just one of many things you can get through sexual contact.

An employee, who worked for me in the early 80s, had a fight with his wife, stormed out of the house, and cheated on her that night. They got back together, made up. Then, a few months afterwards, they discovered his wife was pregnant. First his wife got sick, then the baby, then my employee did. Within 1 1/2 years they all three were dead.

I know there has been great advances in AIDS medicines and the doctors understand it better today. But shit, isn't it better to be safe, than sorry? I've never been so horny that I didn't want to be careful about who I was intimate with.

Maybe that's just me...........

[jem_is_bi]

:eek: unsafe sex ------------------------> no sex :(
You just have to go for it sometime, somewhere, some cofort level.
Otherwise, you will never get this :bigrin:

[tenni]

I think that it depends on which circles or environments that you place yourself in. As far as men and sex is concerned there is a tendency for unwritten etiquette that comes no where near what might be called polite in situations involving men and women. Sex between men seems to come from a less structured relationship than happens generally between men and women. That isn't to write that very casual sex does not happen between men and women but m2m sex it is more a common expectation that sex first and then maybe get to know the other guy.

On the other hand there seems to be etiquette to work out what sexual acts men will become involved in with each other much more as a priority than what foods, politics, how many kids you might want, etc. that you both subscribe to. In other words, sex is a primary importance. If your values and concerns for safety make you want a certain sexual practice bring it up very early. Men expect you not to waste their time if the connection is casual. Some even may get angry. Hold your ground (if you can) as to your expectations but expect a celebate life if your expectations are too high. Talk things out with the other guy and see what his sexual history is. Be aware that he may be lying.

Casual sex may not be for you. Find one other guy and try to develop a friendship or whatever relationship. They may believe that they are clean. In my area, you generally do not get a certificate of "clean" for the wide variety of STD including not just HIV, gonorrehea, syphyllis, clemidia, the Heps. (sorry about the spelling) I think that you may ask for one though. I'm not sure if it is casual sex that a guy is going to have written confirmation in his back pocket to prove that he is clean. I've heard some (men/women) expect it just as some want condoms for any sexual act. Recently, I found out that I had Hep B but no idea when. I was never sick and can not tell when I had it. This is apparently common. You can get Hep B from any body fluid exchange including kissing(so I found out). I'm not sure but I recall as a teen being sent for a Hep test because my neighbour came down with it right after she had a birthday party. I wasn't suppose to have the particular hep.

[Hephaestion]

Hep forgives you.

Hepatitis is just one of a number of often cryptic transmissable infections.

However, prominent in my thinking currently are the numerous HPV's some of which are responsible for infective warts (often painful and injurous) and others which may lead to cancerous growths.

There is no substitute for getting to know the person and not just having a cheap shag in the expectaiton that medical science will always mitigate one's stupidity. Maybe the criterion is to go for tests beforehand?

.

[Long Duck Dong]

Recently, I found out that I had Hep B but no idea when. I was never sick and can not tell when I had it. This is apparently common. You can get Hep B from any body fluid exchange including kissing(so I found out).

condom on ya tongue :tong:

seriously tho, you show a issue that safe sex can not always prevent and if kissing is a part of your intimacy... I think you have mentioned it is.... then yeah, there are risks that we face.......

tenni, you and me may disagree on things, but I hope for your sake, that its self limiting hep B with no complications.... and that you are back to full health quickly..... cos I have no desire to see you or anybody suffer the full effects of chronic hep B

[glansandlabia]

I had my first encounter with a guy over 10 years ago, unprotected oral sex. I've since been tested and all is well, however, I view it as one of the biggest mistakes of my life. After that event I didn't talk to guys for the purpose of sex until about a year ago. Since then I make it very clear that safe is the only way, no orgasm is worth it. Ive only meet with one guy recently and it was only mutual j/o, I'm talking to a guy now and we both agree condoms are the order of the day for EVERYTHING! Good luck to all and be safe! Please!

[tenni]

Just a post script re my Hep B status. No, I do not have hep B. I had in the past Hep B but a couple of situations where I might have been exposed(even eating from a common plate of food was some concern and so all of us at the party had to be tested...seemed weird at the time). I would have been treated if I was infectious. It was a bit of a mystery as I also have had some immunization for "things" that I no longer exactly remember...lol I worked in situations where I may or may not have been exposed to a lot of "stuff". I was required to be immunize for things and often took the "freebee" shots even when not required. I think that I have been immunized for some hep but I just don't remember which ones. My test results also seemed to indicate that I had not been immunized but who knows. I'm clean. Hep B apparently can have consequences of a serious nature...or not any sign of infection at all.

[Mr GNG]

WOW! :eek: Life is always full of horror stories, and just by these few responses I’m having second thoughts about solving my curiousness. :(

As previously stated; for my own & my wife’s health, I would never, ever NOT! use a condom for any sexual act (Even if giving a blow job using a condom would be equal to sucking a lollypop with the wrapper on; pointless. Lol):bigrin: I’m looking for a regular Fuck buddy, not casual meet-ups, but even then I would still insist on condoms all the way.

Here in the UK an estimated 5 out of 10 people who have contracted Chlamydia don’t know they have it. With no visible symptoms to show for is the very reason in which the speed of the infection is spreading, and no one is getting tested. :banghead:
Which was my question, I’ve had four offers swallow my come from complete strangers, are people this will to take risks to satisfy their needs.

Thanks to all those that replied


P.S L.D.D, Beth sy'n gyda'r holl cymraeg?