what is the best way to get over your ex?

[ballerbeauty]

my and my fiancee just broke up today, and honestly i wanna get over her asap. she dumped me for reasons unclear to me and i just want this feeling of "an inability to do anything productive" to go away. any suggestions?

[DuckiesDarling]

Honey, like anything else in life you have to have time to heal. The feeling won't go away quickly but it will lessen each day. Just take some ME time. Try and not obsess over the whys and what might have beens. Major hugs honey, just major hugs.

If you need a shoulder to cry on, feel free to send a pm anytime or hit me up in chat when I'm in there.

[Bicuriousity]

Sorry to hear that. Breakups are really tough.

You could take the advice of best way to get over one person is to get under another one, but hopping into bed with someone new right away may not be the wisest choice. It will feel good but it wont be the same as being with someone you truly love.

[Falke]

The best way to get over a breakup?

Hookers and booze! :bigrin:


Seriously, it does take some time. Especially with having feelings for those whom you cared for are suddenly severed or not given in return. I find a good night out with friends seems to put the mind at ease after such an event.

Good luck!

[Long Duck Dong]

my and my fiancee just broke up today, and honestly i wanna get over her asap. she dumped me for reasons unclear to me and i just want this feeling of "an inability to do anything productive" to go away. any suggestions?

you get used to doing things with your fiancee..... and that is part of why you can not do anything productive.... as you feel the lack of the other person.....

heart ache and heart break is hell.... as it fucks with your focus and understanding.... but you are still you underneath it all...you have the same skills and abilities and maybe a lil more understanding about yourself

when we break up with people we try to do the things we did together...and that is a big part of the issue....so try something new... you want to generate emotions that are stronger in you, than the sense of loss

I took a friend sky driving ( I must add I have a hatred of flying so I am not sure who was more challenged, him or me )......
they loved it... and quickly made new friends.....and met a new person that they later married..... but the key was, they went in a new direction that was outside of the * normal * patterns.....

so make a list of the things that you have never done before....lol and go there them... it can be hard getting motivated, but if you get over that hurdle, you find a new lease on life and things become easier to cope with

[bityme]

my and my fiancee just broke up today, and honestly i wanna get over her asap. she dumped me for reasons unclear to me and i just want this feeling of "an inability to do anything productive" to go away. any suggestions?

I could take the humorous way out and tell you the best way to get over her is with a large truck, but that might create even more problems.

Do some things that show yourself you have the ability to be productive. Set some intermediate goals for yourself regarding body image, work, education, hobbies, etc. Short term goals that can easily be accomplished to start. Then pick something a little harder even though it might take a little longer. They call it self esteem because that is where it come from, the self.

Don't jump into another relationship. Instead examine how assertive you were in the last one and set some guidelines for yourself that will, at least in the short term make yourself a little more demanding. A former radio talk show host in California used to advise men to let their "inner asshole" come out. He counseled things like eating before going out on a dinner date and then just ordering a salad. He advised that if your date accepted a cell phone call during the dinner, excuse yourself to the restroom and just walk out leaving her wondering what happened. He opined that you should never call the date for at least 3 days and to always make your dates for week nights, not the weekends. Weekends are for going out and having a good time with friends.

Become your own best friend. Learn to be happy with yourself by yourself. You are a complete person in and of yourself. You are not a work in progress for someone else to complete. Make sure you know yourself, your likes, dislikes, goals and aspirations. Be able to articulate them in conversation and make sure any new flame understand who your are, what you need and want, and what is required to make the deal or what will break it.

The fact that you are unclear about what caused the breakup is an indicator that you really didn't have good communication in the first place. Becoming a better communicator and requiring the next relationship candidate to be or become on too, should be a very high priority.

Just some suggestions, not a bunch or rules for future conduct. Feel free to adopt or reject any of the above. In the long run you need to be confident in your decisions and your reasoning for making them

Good luck,

Pappy