sex, vasectomy and pregnancy

[Long Duck Dong]

looking back over the last 25 odd years.....without a doubt the 3 largest issues I have seen in relationships between people, are sex, vasectomies and pregnancies.....

sex, ... we all know about the issues of sex, cheating, denying sex, finding out about our sexuality, who we wanna screw and who we don't...and who wants to screw us.......

there are two other issues that are more common than we realise.... and they are the good old vasectomy and pregnancy....
vasectomy as we know is the old snip and tie / burn of the balls... a males fun sack, el spermos mass producis, the ammo mags, cream pie packers...and many other names......

and one that I have noticed over the last 25 odd years... is the only thing that tends to hurt males more than a boot in the balls is the idea of a vasectomy......

I have heard some of the most piss poor arguments against a vasectomy.... such as the guy is not going to lose out on his orgasm for anybody,..... they may want kids later ( a 52 year old said that ).. its not the males job to fuck with his junk..... and yeah... its the females responsibility to get snipped and tied off etc cos they are the ones that get pregnant....

then there have been the true gentlemen with remarks like, my lady carried 6 kids and thats 54 months of morning sickness, sore backs and squeezing watermelons thru the eyes of needles... its the least I can do for us..... and my favourite.... I do not need to produce sperm, to make my baby enjoy sex cos my fingers, tongue and passion never produce sperm and they make her very happy......

and that brings me to the other big issue

pregnancy... and we all know that that is..... I hope

many ladies deal with sore backs, morning sickness, sore ankles, stretch marks, hormonal changes..... and males that think that any woman that is not putting out... is wrong.......

the number of guys that are considerate of their partner... is high and so the number of ladies that are considerate of their partners... is high.......

now we have ladies that are more sexual active and passionate when pregnant and that can keep many males happy....... and god bless those ladies and their partners.....

then we have the mongrel breed males ( and I say that as vicious as it sounds )... they are the males that feel that sex is their right, there is no denying them sex, when if the female is ill, pregnant or simply not able to have sex without issues or pain.... I have no tolerance for males that see nothing wrong with cheating on their partners, forcing them to have sex... or .... the part that explains my issue with them..... acting in a manner to make the female miscarry so the guy can have sex again.... and I have heard and seen some stories that make me so angry.......

right lets get past my issues with some males........


as a male, I have no issues with vasectomy..... I hate condoms ( and they hate me, I am allergy to the spermicide, but I can get special medicated condoms ).... I know that the birth control meds and really cause issues for the ladies, and other forms of birth control such as IUD's ( intrauterine device ) and crossing the legs tightly, do not always work.....

so balls on the block for me.....

and with pregnancy, I would remain beside my partner, even if it meant up to 12 months without sex ( 9 months and 3 months recovery ), cos its my partner and our baby....


so how say ye, oh ladies and gentlemen of bisexual.com........have times changed and opinions changed over the last 1/4 century..... are we more loyal and respectful of those we love... or are we a generation or 2, that are more sexually motivated.....be it giving, recieving and giving permission to our partners when we can not have sex........
and how do you stand on the vasectomy / pregnancy issues.......

[sdnaustin]

As the male, when my wife decided she was done with getting pregnant, I saw it as my gift to her to get snipped. She went through the pregnancy and all I contributed was my support, some foot rubs, and of course the sperm to start things off.

She never asked, I told her I was going to do it and she cried, overwhelmed that I loved her that much.

I have no desire to have anymore kids even if I were to split from my wife (I'd probably date men for awhile anyway just for a change of pace) so there was no reason to keep buying birth control when this would fix it simply (no pun intended).

And other than the few days of recovery, the ten days of no sex while things healed (followed by doctor's instructions to jerk off at least every other day to "clean the pipes of the last sperm"...finally doctor's orders that are enjoyable) there hasn't been any issues. I still shoot nice fat loads, and still get rock hard.

As my wife puts it, my penis is no longer a factory but a playground

[Realist]

Vasectomy: I like kids, enjoy nieces, nephews, OTHER people's kids, but never, ever, wanted any myself. Got a vasectomy when I was 24. That was 46 years ago and never regretted it.

Sex: as almost every other creature on earth, I love it, but only in the context of loving/caring relationships. Can't separate the two, don't want mindless immediate gratification, want to share experiences and emotions and tenderness.

Pregnancy: Never impregnated a lady, but have been with a couple of pregnant ladies and the experience was exhilarating! They were amazingly passionate and needy. One was married, husband couldn't touch her, didn't want to look at, or feel her body, taste her milk, allowed her to share her bed with me. One didn't know who the father was, lived with me until she had the baby....then did the right thing by adopting the baby out. (She was not prepared to raise a child, had no inclination to be a mother, was just careless, became a lesbian afterwards........insatiable sex drive and felt that being with a female was safer...beautiful, voluptuous, fantastic personality)

Weird how some posts bring back memories!

[tenni]

i think that the question of sterilizing yourself is a personal decision whether you are a woman or a man. You are altering your own body and your ability to reproduce. It is best to look at it as a "final act" even though the argument is there that it is reversible. The point that a vasectomy is less invasive and gallant for a man to do for his wife may be a foolish position to take. If the marriage fails and a new relationship develops the question of reproducing is there but has been answered previously in a different relationship.

[DuckiesDarling]

i think that the question of sterilizing yourself is a personal decision. You are altering your body and your ability to reproduce. It is best to look at it as a "final act" even though the argument is there that it is reversible. The point that a vasectomy is less invasive and gallant for a man to do for his wife may be a foolish position to take. If the marriage fails and a new relationship develops the question of reproducing is there but has been answered previously in a different relationship.

So Tenni, you have so much marriage and relationship experience to base your opinion on? For me, I wanted my ex to get a vasectomy as I was recovering from my third c-section. It would have been much easier for him to get snipped and quite frankly he needed no more kids as the total is five and he didn't take care of any of them. He hemmed and hawed and put it off until it was too late, by the time the waiting period would be over he wouldn't have been covered by insurance.

I had made arrangements to have my tubes tied at the time of Logan's birth yet because it was a different doctor doing the emergency surgery it wasn't done. So I faced another major surgery because one male thought having a tiny snip would be the end of his world.

There are many males in this world that actually do care about the health and wellbeing of their partners, whether it's a male or a female partner.

I know that when I was pregant, four times (i had three live births), my sex drive was up and down depending on what the hormones were doing. At the time I thought I had a supportive husband who wouldn't even masturbate as he felt he needed to be with me. Little did I know he was off having a good time watching porn and chatting up girls, yes girls not women girls, online.

So I have the experience of being in a relationship with a lousy excuse for a male that led to my getting a tubal ligation, a major surgery no matter how you look at it. At this point in time it would be a major miracle for me to get pregnant again, but if I did I'd welcome a child with a partner who is actually a partner and not just someone who sees me as a place to shove his cock.

[by~his~side]

Very personal decisions indeed.
I married my first husband when I was 22. Neither one of us wanted kids...we were young and life was fun!! But life is all about change...and I changed my mind.
I remember getting my first true desire for motherhood when my first niece was born. I was not quite 30. I already knew my ex's position on fatherhood..it wasn't for him. But what about me? What about me being a mother?
He was firm. He didn't want kids. He was self employed...THAT was his baby.
Once the reality of his position sank in, soon followed anger....resentment....self doubt and pity. Our sex life dwindled to a frequency that even a nun would have a hard time accepting.
It shocked me when he wanted a vasectomy. In New Jersey both partners in the marriage need to sign off on the procedure. I signed that paper with tears in my eyes. Realizing that this was not just the end of my desire to have children with this man....but this was for sure the end of our marriage as we both knew it.
He moved out less than a year later. It was my choice.

Soon after that I met Mr. Wonderful! It's sappy I know but it's a blessing to get a second chance. I won't bore you with details of how we feel we are so right for each other. My profile gives that away. We are happy together, life is good....but I never did become a mother. He had gotten the Big V when he and his former wife were done creating their family.
I'm grateful to be a stepmom to his 3 adult 'kids' and a stepgrandma to a handful of little ones.

Again, it's a personal decision. To snip or not to snip. You never know what path your life will take.

Thanks for reading.
~D~

[tenni]

DD
The answer to your question for me is yes, I do have sufficient experience marriage and relationship wise to make such a statement. You made a decision for yourself. Your ex made his decision as well. He delayed because he didn't want to have that operation or he had not made up his mind. Never assume that you know about another poster's life. People disclose what they want to disclose on a website.

[Hephaestion]

Typical info from e.g. the Web

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One of the greatest medical misconceptions is that a vasectomy is a permanent physical alteration. In reality, a vasectomy is reversible. The procedure is a delicate one, but it is possible.

How is a Vasectomy Reversible?

When a man undergoes a vasectomy, the vas deferens (the tubes that deliver sperm) are either cut or blocked. When a vasectomy reversal is performed, the physician must perform a microsurgery to reattach the cut ends so the flow of sperm can begin again. This is accomplished through one of two procedures – a vasovasostomy or an epididmovasostomy.

Vasovasostomy is the more common of the two procedures and it accomplished by surgically reconnecting the two cut ends of the vans deferens back together. An epididmovasostomy on the other hand is a much more complex procedure that has to be performed when scarring, inflammation or chronic congestion prevents the sperm from entering the vans deferens. In this procedure, the physician must surgically connect the vans deferens directly to the epididymis, the tube that runs behind the testis.

Why Would Anyone Want a Vasectomy Reversed?

People change their minds. Sometimes, one’s life may take a change, such as a divorcee marrying a woman who wants to have children or a couple realizing that they do want to raise a family after all. Regardless of the reason, between six and twelve percent of vasectomized men choose to have their procedure reversed.

It’s important to know that men’s bodies continue to produce sperm even after a vasectomy is performed. Because the sperm are unable to pass through to join the seminal fluid due to the vasectomy, they build up, eventually break down and get harmlessly reabsorbed by the body.

How Successful are Reversible Vasectomy Procedures?

With improved microsurgical techniques, reversed vasectomies have become not only more popular, but more effective. Even still, there is no guarantee that a vasectomy reversal will result in pregnancy. Studies indicate that sperm recovery occurs successfully in up to 90 percent of vasectomy reversal patients, and of those patients, approximately 50 percent achieve pregnancy.

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See also

http://www.bupa.co.uk/health-information/directory/v/vasectomy-reversal

[Diva667]

My opinion...

I think that if you are male and want sex more often you would consider this option.

It is relatively minor surgery, compared to even the most basic of female preventative surgeries.

You can store sperm up to several years and it is undamaged, therefore if the relationship fails you can reproduce.

You dont need to worry about reproducing without your specific consent (although I am told it does rarely happen) therefore no need to worry about child support if someone becomes pregnant accidentally.

I see a vasectomy as a definite alternative for a smart, successful male. If I were male I would want to store my sperm and get it done right away.

All that being said it is a very personal decision, just as any decision involving our bodies.

[AidanS57]

I never really thought about kids when I was younger, figured there was plenty of time to sort that out. Now that I found what I spent my whole life searching for, I'd love to have kids. Unfortunately, she is not sure she can have them. Would I welcome one? Hell yeah. Am I gonna sweat it if I never have any? No.

I have never been put in a situation where I needed to consider a vasectomy, but I can tell you right now if there was a choice between me having a small operation and my lady having a large one. I'd take the bullet everytime. :2cents:

Aidan

[bizel]

found out my hubby had had a vasectomy at the very beginning of our relationship - wanted him to have it reversed but he wouldn't. was an extremely sore point. i had always expected to have kids. he had one from previous relationship, and he couldn't take the thought of any more little 'hims' that he maybe financially liable for. so he made the decision for himself, before we met. i cried and cried. then accepted it cos i loved him. then found out i couldn't have kids myself.

i look back on it, and believe it's a decision a man should make for himself, without anyone else's opinion involved. it is his body. getting married later on and maybe she'll want kids etc, is not a good enough reason to hold off if he wants to do it. when you get married, it should be for the love of your partner. if kids come along, that's great. if they don't, you still have that original love of your partner. that love should be the most important thing as it binds the relationship together. kids or no kids, if that binding is lacking, where are you then?

then again, is a vasectomy like a prenup? you don't know whether the relationship will work out, so you don't want to take chances???? are you truly committed?? the 'what if's' take over??

[bikiniman]

I have had a vasectomy and a successful vasectomy reversal. Your life circumstances can change.

Whilst it is a very easy procedure to have (the snip) the reversal procedure is much more complicated with the probability of success decreasing over time.The fact the so many vasectomy reversals are done suggests to me that too many vasectomies are done in the first place.

It's a personal decision that needs to considered carefully and seriously. No one should be chastised for making the decision that they do not wish to have the procedure.