justcurious4me
Jan 21, 2011, 9:59 PM
Hey there everyone...
Well everyone's heard of tough love, right? Well, I never realized that there was such a thing as gental, tough love!!! I have two REALLY great friends to thank for helping me out with this one... Thank you CAT!!! You are difinitely my devilish angel in disguise... And the other is one of my friends that I work with that has somewhat gone though this himself, with bad results tho!!!! Another special thank you to all of you that chimed in on my forum post.
I have sat down and talked to my wife about the tape... We even played it together... Well, it went very civilized. We realized that we both have areas that we both have to work on together... I had seriously opened myself up to her and told her flat out that I recorded her... See I went through a BAD divorce about 11 yrs. ago that laid waste to everyone involved. My ex-wife was completely hell bent on screwing around on me and treating me like total shit in the process. Well, you've heard the saying once bitten, twice shy right? Well, I explained that to my current wife... Between the verbal shots to our sex life and the simple fact that she doesn't even touch me anymore... It raised the red flag saying that there's something else going on... So that's why I started recording things going on in the house. Well, I found something and I want to talk about it... I was to the point of tears when I told her and I blew off half of the work day yesterday to get my thoughts and mind back in the game... Honestly, I haven't eaten in almost 4 days because I was so confused over this...
I told her that I didn't want to argue about it, but talk civilized about it... I informed her that I have no right, given my bisexuality, to give her hell about what happened on the tape, but that I NEED TO KNOW and hear it from her... Before we played the recording, she denied doing anything with anyone... That was last night just before we went to bed... I have not received her response from after that as I went to sleep in peace. But thorughout our talk during the day, I had kept throwing in there every now and then that I thought that it was the most erotic thing I've ever heard and that I can't stop listening to it... She was pretty anxious to hear the recording and I made her wait a good 6 to 8 hours before I would actually let her hear it... I tried to make it a fun, enlightening, and friendly talk. But I told her this about the recording... I don't want her to get mad about it... I do respect her privacy but she's also has to respect my love for our marriage... I told her that I would love to keep the tape, because quite frankly to me, it's the best damn porn I ever heard, BUT if she wanted me to delete it that I would most certainly respect her wishes and do so...
So enough about the tape and more on the conversation... I told her that its not my intention to bash her because of what happened but I encouraged her to talk to me about it... She told me that she doesn't have any desire to be with any women... (Personally after hearing what I heard, I think otherwise). Yes, tho, it's still a possibility that she doesn't, after all, it was only a mutual maturbation session with one of her friends over Skype, BUT we all know, some too well, how one thing can lead to another. She's supposed to be going to a convention in Pasadena, California in June with her friend in the tape... Honestly I think they're even sharing the room together... I told her that when I came out to her about being bi, that it was seriously hard as hell, but I told her that I was here for her and would make it as easy as I possibly can for her... We went on about it for a couple of hours and even started laying some ground rules for play for her in the event that she would want to pursue it... The rules were the exact same as the ones that she discussed with me when I told her about me... Essentially, I encouraged her... How far she takes it, is up to her, but I told her that I need to be informed before anything happens and would love to hear about it afterwards when it does. I also told her that when (notice I'm not saying "IF" anymore) I have my first same sex experience, that I need her to be involved, because I don't want to feel like I'm cheating on her and need her to be a part of that special moment...
BTW, Cat... During this conversation I told her about my membership to this site and about all of my friends here... With my wife's friend (the one in the tape) being from Seattle and you, Kit & Ki, and that group you tell me about... If we move to McChord, it's going to be one WILD & WICKEDLY FUN time!!!!
I kept the conversation, what's a good word for it, LOVING... That's it!! She wants me to talk to her shamen to understand what she is going through (because I really don't understand it much) and I most certainly agreed, but in return, she needs to be open to me and tell me everything...
Obviously I can't fit everything from a 6 hour conversation into this one post, but I will say this... Compromise is alive and well... And DAMN if I'm glad to see it!!! Thank you all for your inputs and advice... As always, the people that come to this forum to help others are a great group of people to know and you'll all be close to my heart...
Well everyone's heard of tough love, right? Well, I never realized that there was such a thing as gental, tough love!!! I have two REALLY great friends to thank for helping me out with this one... Thank you CAT!!! You are difinitely my devilish angel in disguise... And the other is one of my friends that I work with that has somewhat gone though this himself, with bad results tho!!!! Another special thank you to all of you that chimed in on my forum post.
I have sat down and talked to my wife about the tape... We even played it together... Well, it went very civilized. We realized that we both have areas that we both have to work on together... I had seriously opened myself up to her and told her flat out that I recorded her... See I went through a BAD divorce about 11 yrs. ago that laid waste to everyone involved. My ex-wife was completely hell bent on screwing around on me and treating me like total shit in the process. Well, you've heard the saying once bitten, twice shy right? Well, I explained that to my current wife... Between the verbal shots to our sex life and the simple fact that she doesn't even touch me anymore... It raised the red flag saying that there's something else going on... So that's why I started recording things going on in the house. Well, I found something and I want to talk about it... I was to the point of tears when I told her and I blew off half of the work day yesterday to get my thoughts and mind back in the game... Honestly, I haven't eaten in almost 4 days because I was so confused over this...
I told her that I didn't want to argue about it, but talk civilized about it... I informed her that I have no right, given my bisexuality, to give her hell about what happened on the tape, but that I NEED TO KNOW and hear it from her... Before we played the recording, she denied doing anything with anyone... That was last night just before we went to bed... I have not received her response from after that as I went to sleep in peace. But thorughout our talk during the day, I had kept throwing in there every now and then that I thought that it was the most erotic thing I've ever heard and that I can't stop listening to it... She was pretty anxious to hear the recording and I made her wait a good 6 to 8 hours before I would actually let her hear it... I tried to make it a fun, enlightening, and friendly talk. But I told her this about the recording... I don't want her to get mad about it... I do respect her privacy but she's also has to respect my love for our marriage... I told her that I would love to keep the tape, because quite frankly to me, it's the best damn porn I ever heard, BUT if she wanted me to delete it that I would most certainly respect her wishes and do so...
So enough about the tape and more on the conversation... I told her that its not my intention to bash her because of what happened but I encouraged her to talk to me about it... She told me that she doesn't have any desire to be with any women... (Personally after hearing what I heard, I think otherwise). Yes, tho, it's still a possibility that she doesn't, after all, it was only a mutual maturbation session with one of her friends over Skype, BUT we all know, some too well, how one thing can lead to another. She's supposed to be going to a convention in Pasadena, California in June with her friend in the tape... Honestly I think they're even sharing the room together... I told her that when I came out to her about being bi, that it was seriously hard as hell, but I told her that I was here for her and would make it as easy as I possibly can for her... We went on about it for a couple of hours and even started laying some ground rules for play for her in the event that she would want to pursue it... The rules were the exact same as the ones that she discussed with me when I told her about me... Essentially, I encouraged her... How far she takes it, is up to her, but I told her that I need to be informed before anything happens and would love to hear about it afterwards when it does. I also told her that when (notice I'm not saying "IF" anymore) I have my first same sex experience, that I need her to be involved, because I don't want to feel like I'm cheating on her and need her to be a part of that special moment...
BTW, Cat... During this conversation I told her about my membership to this site and about all of my friends here... With my wife's friend (the one in the tape) being from Seattle and you, Kit & Ki, and that group you tell me about... If we move to McChord, it's going to be one WILD & WICKEDLY FUN time!!!!
I kept the conversation, what's a good word for it, LOVING... That's it!! She wants me to talk to her shamen to understand what she is going through (because I really don't understand it much) and I most certainly agreed, but in return, she needs to be open to me and tell me everything...
Obviously I can't fit everything from a 6 hour conversation into this one post, but I will say this... Compromise is alive and well... And DAMN if I'm glad to see it!!! Thank you all for your inputs and advice... As always, the people that come to this forum to help others are a great group of people to know and you'll all be close to my heart...