Saying Goodbye.

[DuckiesDarling]

Sitting here waiting for my hair to dry before I finish getting dressed to go the funeral home. My mother's sister, 10 years to the day older than my mother, passed away night before last at 2:30am.

I had spent the day with her before a doctor's appointment and she had told me she was ready to go. Doesn't make it hurt any less when I think of saying goodbye.

How do you cope with saying the final goodbye?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Death is never easy honey. It comes as a shock even if we are expecting it. Your Auntie was ready, and that made it even easier on Her. Most of us just think about the saddnes it costs Us, but we have to think of Them. She was so ready for the pain to end, to be free of all of it. Even though its hard on all of us left here, her suffering is over. :}
It is Cherokee custom to grieve someone a short time, but do not grieve long. Dont remember someone with tears and pain, remember them with happy times, and celebrate that you had that loved one for as long as you did. Honor their memory with smiles and good memories of their lifetime. :}
May Auntie have walk the Path in tranqulity, and have been met with much love and Peace.
Hugs to you Babygirl.
Cat/Mama

[12voltman59]

Sorry to hear that your mom passed. I don't know if you ever really get over a death of someone close--but you do come to accept it and go on---there is no other real choice but to be that way.

My condolences to you and yours in your time of mourning.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

It was her Auntie, Voltie. :}
Cat

[bizel]

sweetheart, to me, words seem so lacking at a time like this. saying goodbye is not something i excel at, although it is coming close to me also. if i were there, i'd get you a couple of boxes of tissues infused with aloe vera so your nose doesn't chafe. get you a cup of tea. and i'd just hug you, hold your arm and hand. and all i could say is, she still around you in spirit. the love never dies.

they say time makes it easier to accept. try and focus on the happy memories. and imagine my arms wrapped around you. they are there as long as you need them. massive hug. b

[AidanS57]

DD my friend, please accept the sincere condolences of both myself and my lady. Letting go is never easy but as you told us, she is not in pain now. Remember her with smiles and she will never be truly gone from your life.

Hugs

Aidan and S :)

[BicuriousIndy2]

I don't handle it very well. I just can't let go, it is the hardest thing to do. I say how I miss them in my prayers each nite for a long time.

I used to say good nite every nite for 7 years to 2 dogs that passed. I was very attached to them.

Try and think of the happy time it does help
D

[codybear3]

My condolences, DD... My thoughts and prayers to you and your family... :paw::paw:

[DuckiesDarling]

Thanks guys and yes Volt it was aunt not mother, if it had been mother the way she's been lately I'd have posted "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead", a few know what she has done and understand where that sentiment comes from. My four cousins are holding up well and there was more laughter than I had hoped for tonight as we saw some other cousins that we just never get to see except for funerals.

Freaking cold outside but had to smoke at least I had company. My dad or two of my cousins lol.

All in all they did a good job but she didn't look like herself which was a blessing for those still struggling with things. Made it easier to pretend it wasn't her in the coffin.

[jem_is_bi]

My mother died over 10 years ago. It still hurts. But, she loved life and I do too. I love life so much! So, be happy for all that you have now and all that the next generation of your family will have after you. That thought makes me happy.

[bityme]

Sitting here waiting for my hair to dry before I finish getting dressed to go the funeral home. My mother's sister, 10 years to the day older than my mother, passed away night before last at 2:30am.

I had spent the day with her before a doctor's appointment and she had told me she was ready to go. Doesn't make it hurt any less when I think of saying goodbye.

How do you cope with saying the final goodbye?

Saying goodbye is never easy. When it is a loved one who has passed, I'm not sure that it is even possible. Having lost three children and two wives, I feel they are in some way still with me.

I have always loved a poem written by Mary Elizabeth Frye that I have found comforting. I had it read at each funeral of my loved ones.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave bereft
I am not there. I have not left.

I hope its sentiment brings some relief from the pain of your loss.

Pappy

[Long Duck Dong]

bityme, you put in words how I feel....

I may bury a body, but not a spirit or the memories...... and so to me a person is only truly dead when the last memory of them, is forgotten.....

even now... I still strongly feel the presence of my sister and my cat around me, as well as many other past loved ones.... and while many spiritual minded people will talk about setting the spirits free to move on....... I am one that feels that they can move on, and are free to return to walk with us and guide us........

I know that it has been feeling my sister beside me in life and later in spirit, that has helped me keep putting one foot in front of the others.... and now, I have some awesome friends and DD, my partner that are helping me start to live again .........

[slipnslide]

You kind of need to look it death as life doing what it's supposed to do and do your best to accept it.

Time numbs it. Strong connections help too to share your grief. Also, in the case where someone decided they were ready, remember that there's a hint of selfishness in wishing they weren't gone.

All in all it's an awful feeling. A painful void that only time to start to fill. Once time start to fill in that void wonderful memories seem to fill the rest.

[mikey3000]

I really do believe that when we die, we just return home, from where we came, for a much needed rest until it's time for us to come back. It's never good bye, it's a see ya soon. I know it's hard though. Just remember that the love never dies.

:)

[justcurious4me]

Duckie... I'm so sorry for your recent loss... If you ever need anyone to talk to we're all here for you... Take care of yourself... Lots of warm hugs!!!! :)

[DuckiesDarling]

http://www.thenewsenterprise.com/content/dorothy-laverne-shelton

The obit for my aunt, she hadn't looked like that pic in a while but you get the idea.

[Realist]

My parent's are gone, now. They were both in their 90s. They had full lives and it was easier to say good bye to them, because nothing was sudden.

Deaths were more difficult to handle, when I was younger, didn't understand the process. Grandfather on Mother's side, uncles, grandparents on Dad's side.

Most difficult was a friend's suicide. Never saw it coming. After many years there's still questions left unanswered.

The older a person gets, the more friends, loved ones, even enemies they'll lose. At 70, I think I've lose way too many, too soon. Some are expected, even relieved when their pain is over, some of their passing will barely be felt....some will leave a hole in your soul. I guess we'll only know what's on the other side, when we go, too.

My most heart-felt condolences for your losses, Sweet Lady.