Trust

[DuckiesDarling]

A simple word, bandied about by many people who have no concept of the word.

The simple definition: reliance on another person or entity.

For me, it's both a logical process and an emotional one. Often they conflict which can cause issues at times.

What is trust to you?

[Durain]

Trust is something everyone deserves and it can be lost or taken very easily.

Trust is earned, not gained. But to gain it from others you must first give it. When someone you meet and becomes friends with needs a favor, you offer your help and say "trust me" and if your a good person and maintain that trust you shall get it in return.


However their are some people in this world who don't see trust, they see and think only of themselves and what they can do to abuse the trust of others. It is in these people the world finds most of its faults and problems.

I am proud to say, I am not one of those people.
I am unhappy to say, I have met and have been hurt by them.

[Diva667]

Trust means being open and honest. It means that sometimes people hurt you because you trusted them, or they didn't trust you.

Trust is related to being vulnerable and allowing another person close enough to hurt you, sometimes quite badly.

Breaking agreements, telling lies, breaking confidentiality, stealing, cheating - All these things damage our trust in others. Once damaged it is never easy to trust that person again. or to quote Lady Gaga and Beyonce -

[Beyonce]
You know Ga Ga, trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broke,

[Lady Ga Ga]
But you can still see the crack in that, mother fuckers reflection


Trust is a fragile and precious thing, that once damaged, may be lost forever.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Even as happy-go-lucky as I am, trust is a big issue to me. I have been hurt by an Ex husband who was suppose to be the most important man in my life, then betrayed me. Loved a best friend who just up and took off with no rhyme or reason, and have had others who gave me reason to not trust them.
Trust is earned, and until I have Seen that I can trust, you dont get near my heart anymore.
But, I'll trust a person until they give me reason to Not trust them, then they get booted to the curb.
Complicated Cat

[AidanS57]

Trust is something that is difficult for me. I'd been hurt before and I've done some hurting and I know it's a two way street. I don't trust easily, all that once bitten twice shy stuff, but I have given the benefit of the doubt to some in the past that abused it royally.

So as a result I have only a few people in my actual life that I trust, but even then I'm waiting for them to do something so that little voice in my head screams "Told you so". :2cents:

[tenni]

Thanks for creating this thread. I'm going to pay attention to the views. Recently, I trusted someone and it ended up with my house being robbed. Strangely enough, it wasn't the loss of the money that hurt as much as the betrayal of my trust. It kind of shakes me to my core as to how I had trusted this person and not seen signs. (still can not figure them out)

I am interested in reading other views about what criteria or situations that a person gives their trust or decides to trust a person.

[AidanS57]

Sorry to hear that, Tenni. I know I had an issue in my past that really burns me to this day when I'd love to share pics with a friend. A girlfriend of mine needed a place to crash and I let her sleep on the couch never dreaming she'd decide to do a bit of snooping while I slept. I crash hard once I'm gone so I never heard a thing, apparently she clicked through my photos on my computer and found a few she disagreed with. So in her infinite wisdom she dragged the entire photo folder over to the shredder and then slept like a babe. It took me a while to realize what she had done as I am by nature a private person but the loss was enormous. I had pics of people that no longer live in this world, pics that were not saved anywhere else, pics I can't repeat like my niece's birthday parties as she grew up. Taught me to be very careful who I allow in my home and even more careful in how I shut down PC when going to bed no matter if I am alone here.

[mikey3000]

I don't trust, or expect to be trusted, until it is earned. Very easy.

[onewhocares]

I have come to believe, perhaps somewhat ironically, that the ONLY person one can believe in is OURSELVES. In many respects,that is true. No one knows us better that ourselves? I am someone who, when in confidence is given knowledge, keeps that to herself. It is NOT my place to tell anyone about a relationship. Just giving those who have placed trust in me..to them. I am like a vault.

Belle

[bizel]

my dictionary says trust is, amongst other things, faith, reliance and hope. i need those things so i won't stop trusting (even if i get shafted at times). when someone betrays my trust, it says more about them than it does about me.

i'm with you belle. our society seems to have lost a lot of respect for others. confidences aren't kept. we need to raise our own personal standards. like gandhi said, be the change we want to see. we expect others to automatically do right by us. we must offer the same. if one lets the other down, don't let it be you letting the other down. live a life of dignity. it's all you really do have.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol..... trust to me, doesn't exist.... which sounds strange

trust is a word we use to define our thinking that people would not hurt us, harm us or betray us...... trust is the word we use to express that belief....

if somebody shits on us, we say they betrayed our trust..... when the simple truth is, we believed in them, we had a image of them, and when they acted as they did, we blame them for breaking our image of them.... the image that is a aspect of the trust we refer to

do I trust my partner... ??? no.... I have no doubt in my mind that my partner has the same ability to hurt and harm me, as she does to love me and care about me...... so i do not *trust* her to act in a set way that will not hurt me or harm me....

trust is a word we use to hold others responsible for the fact that we have a image of people that was incorrect and that we expected them to uphold that image, as incorrect as it was......

a man with a gun can be my friend or my foe, but either way, I do not trust him not to put a bullet in me..... as a accident can put that bullet in me, the same as a delibrate action...... so do I trust the man with the gun.... or have faith that there is no way for the gun to go off, accidently or delibrately......

in my eyes, I have faith that the gun doesn't have a loaded chamber and cocked..... I have no trust in the person holding it cos accident or not.... shit happens.....

[wifeluvesmebi]

A word often bandied about. Earned, given, deserved? Not really sure. We dole it out in small doses. We also hear the term unconditional love associated with it.

All I know, is I TRUST my wife with my most innermost thoughts, feelings, desires, fantasies. And I KNOW for a fact she will never harm me with them. That makes me trust her. In turn she trusts me to open up and share more of myself with her. (and vice versa) She knows me completely. I trust her with that knowledge. We all feel vurnerable and don't want to get hurt so we guard for a while or up to a point. But at a point in time, we get to a place in a relationship that we trust in that person. And when we do, MAN oh MAN, does it turn out to be the right thing to do. We are so much more at peace with ourselves and our relationship and it opens so many more doors for us to be ourselves. VERY liberating!

[Bluebiyou]

Trust is a gift.
I give trust right off the bat, people lose it from there.
I'm not going to live my life on the perpetual emotional defensive.

How does that saying go? If 99.9% of the people weren't honest 99.9% of the time, the whole system would come crashing down.

Trust is most often misplaced by giving it to the people who ask for it.

But one thing you have to remember. People will act according to their nature and within their limitations, regardless of how much or little trust you put in them.

I trust one of my coworkers to continue to try to kill me.
I trust my company (if such a murder happened at work) would quickly take whatever steps necessary to remove any evidence of murder. To do whatever they could to make it look like a suicide.
I trust if I leave valuable things in my front yard, eventually someone will take them.

Trust is also dangerous as it can slip into an expectation (in a relationship).
Expectations are the death of a relationship.

[Realist]

Trust and Respect are things you may give, but they both can be quickly destroyed.

Once they are lost, they seldom return.

I know, I've been both the victim and the perpetrator.