Struggling with labels

[Bluelady16016]

Okay, I can't help it...still...too many people on both the hetro and homo fronts have told me I'm just confused. I'm extremely attracted to women but all of my sexual encounters have been with men. And apparently I look straight. I'm beginning to think I'm just crazy.

[Long Duck Dong]

seriously, most people in the world, want to slap a label on you to define you for their own purposes, not yours...

you are not confused, you know who you are attracted to, and if it doesn't fit the label that people want for you, then hun, say you are a asexual, pansexual with lesbian desires who likes to make love with men..... it pisses people right off ...

personally, i see you as a lady that has not yet realised that it doesn't matter how people see you, its how you feel about yourself and if you are secure in your opinion of yourself, than what other people say, doesn't matter

besides, you are always welcome in this site..... and you are not crazy..... when the men in white coats bring me my meds, I will get you to help me out of my strait jacket and we will prove you are not crazy...... btw, you may know.... what meds are the viagra and what ones are the laxatives, I took them both last time, got a raging boner and shit myself....not in a good way either

[Committed bi guy]

Hey Bluelady...you are not crazy and I don't believe you are confused about your sexual orientation. It appears that you are bisexual and the confused ones are those that do not understand that you don't have to be on one side or the other. You are just right the way you are.

[lizard-lix]

Nope you are not crazy, just working it out.. hang in there.

We all go through decision points and confused times...

Maybe give it a try with a woman? Maybe just a date.. Just so you can feel that and maybe understand a little more where you are...

We each have to find our sexual identity, at least you are trying and not just forcing yourself to be 'good' and conventional.

I am sure others with have more sage advice.. But I just say be careful, but explore and find out...

Good luck!

Liz

[Realist]

Bluelady, What's important is how you feel about yourself!

Don't allow others to confuse you; only YOU know your own heart and mind.

Others will always attempt to define you, especially if they don't have the same interests, or don't understand yours.

You will find support and understanding, here.

[kitten]

My experience has been mostly with men. The opportunities with women not so grand but not a total loss either. I am definitely attracted to both genders. I can appreciate the lovely qualities of a beautiful person no matter the gender and I can have a sexual response to those qualities.
This used to be uncomfortable for me. Now that I know it is a healthy normal response, I am so much more comfortable with myself.

I do desire the touch of a woman at times but until I can share with a woman who is confident with herself and willing to take the time for us to get to know each other, I can wait.

Bisexual may be the label that works to define me for others but I don't use it. I just know that warm feeling within when I share a conversation or cup of coffee or a nice hug or a crashing orgasm and that it is normal and a very real part of me.

[Annika L]

Okay, I can't help it...still...too many people on both the hetro and homo fronts have told me I'm just confused. I'm extremely attracted to women but all of my sexual encounters have been with men. And apparently I look straight. I'm beginning to think I'm just crazy.

Everybody sees the world in terms of their issues.

Many hetero people on some level see heterosexuality as the natural state, see gay people as either confused or anathemetic to their hetero state ("everyone is *really* hetero; gay sex is just something strange/wrong/different that some people do).

Many gay people on some level see homosexuality as the natural counterpoint to heterosexuality. Many think that anyone *could* be gay if they were open to it, and that many "straight acting" people are gay but "just in denial" (of course some are...others are bi and in denial...others are just straight or asexual or...).

Many bi people on some level see bisexuality as the natural state ("everyone is *really* bi; society has just conditioned us to pick one extreme or the other"). Yeah, all those gay and straight people are just confused or in denial, and are really bi, if they'd just loosen up.

You identify your interests very articulately. You know what you want. The fact that you haven't experimented with it yet means nothing.

If you desperately want to travel, but have yet to leave the country, that doesn't make you worldly, but it also doesn't make you an ethnocentric shut-in. But somehow a person in that situation doesn't feel "confusion" or "frustration", because nobody labels them.

Forget about what other people say about you and your interests...their statements tell you much more about them than about you. Keep working on plucking up the courage to follow your interests, and follow your heart.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

To thine own self be true, Girlfriend. Dont worry something as unimportant as labels. Only You know where you fit into the game of life, so dont worry about it so much. Relax, have fun. Start out slow and easy and see where it leads you. :} But above all else, just be true to You. ;)
Cat, everybodys feline.

[ballerbeauty]

Okay, I can't help it...still...too many people on both the hetro and homo fronts have told me I'm just confused. I'm extremely attracted to women but all of my sexual encounters have been with men. And apparently I look straight. I'm beginning to think I'm just crazy.

i understand where ur coming from, i had the same problem, i look straight, i have long hair and dress very girly. no one wants me to be bi, except in guys stupid sexual fantasies. BE YOURSELF. if ur yourself and are happy with yourself, everything else won't matter. u have to be at peace with ur orientation. it's okay to have doubts, it's okay to be confused. on top of that it wouldn't hurt to be sexual with girls, although it's not all that nessairy. YOUR NOT CRAZY. it's normal to flip flop between between straight bi or gay. be whatever you feel is right. there's no clear line disguishing between the three, so don't treat it like there is one. just be you.

[onewhocares]

Bluelady, What's important is how you feel about yourself!

Don't allow others to confuse you; only YOU know your own heart and mind.

Others will always attempt to define you, especially if they don't have the same interests, or don't understand yours.

You will find support and understanding, here.

This man of wisdom is correct, I support his comments whole heartedly.

Belle

[drawingboard3]

Don't sweat it, blue. It'll take time, but you'll figure it out eventually. For what it's worth, you don't sound confused to me at all - it sounds like you know exactly what you like at the moment. But regardless, things change with time - including sexuality - so I say f*ck the labels for now...

[Plumhead2]

Labels are much like religion. They are comforting; they make things clear. But they are also limiting and imprisoning. So understand why people want to label you. It allows them to believe that they understand you. It is the fear of not understanding you that makes them emphatic about putting a label you.

And the same goes for you. It makes it easy to understand yourself if you can put a label on you. As an eccentric but brilliant teacher once told me, "As soon as you think you understand something, learning stops." So don't put a label on yourself and keep on learning.

[darkeyes]

..only with labels marked in pounds and pence.. espesh if Ive not got enuff cash or sufficient in me bank account or on me placcie 2 afford me latest wheeze.. dusn happen often nowadays tf but it has.. an often.. an has made me stamp me feet in frustration moren 1ce...:(... or worse if me is loaded an adore summat an must have it but the getts don have it in me size!!!:eek:

[bizel]

i think the day we stop worrying about what others think of us, and only care about what we think of ourselves, is the day we truly start to grow up.

dear bluelady, you can be as twisted as a curly fry, and as long as you're happy (and not frightening children and animals), that's ok! you get the stamp of approval in my book.

[lokione]

I learned that labels are needed by others that have to categorize everyone. So I'm Omni Sexual. Let then try to figure that one out on their own. Besides who I share my time with behind closed doors really isn't anyone's business except my own.

[darkeyes]

I learned that labels are needed by others that have to categorize everyone. So I'm Omni Sexual. Let then try to figure that one out on their own. Besides who I share my time with behind closed doors really isn't anyone's business except my own.

So ya label yasel omnisexual then?

[AidanS57]

So ya label yasel omnisexual then?

if they are calling themselves by what they do behind their OWN doors wouldn't it be "Ownisexual"?

[lokione]

Ownisexual, sounds perfect....