Wondering about something...

[Dead Account]

I've been here for a bit, still curious, but spooked at times. One of the things that keeps me from experimenting is that yes, I am a sexual
person, but no, I don't throw it around. Why you may ask? As people, we are far more than that. Sex is only a tiny part of who I am as a person. The things I love and care about make up a lot more of who I am. Same as everyone here I bet. So when I sometimes look in the personals, I more often than not see things about size, my womans tits, pics showing nothing but dicks, it pretty much tells me what you're only here for. As someone who is curious, I get turned off, but not by the pics, it's just that's all I learn about you as a person. No deeper than that.

Thoughts?

[Bluebiyou]

HAMLET
I do not well understand that. Will you play upon this pipe?

GUILDENSTERN
My lord, I cannot.

HAMLET
I pray you.

GUILDENSTERN
Believe me, I cannot.

HAMLET
I do beseech you.

GUILDENSTERN
I know no touch of it, my lord.


HAMLET
It is as easy as lying. Govern these ventages with your fingers and thumb, give it breath with your mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music. Look you, these are the stops.

GUILDENSTERN
But these cannot I command to any utterance of harmony.
I have not the skill.

HAMLET
Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me. You would seem to know my stops. You would pluck out the heart of my mystery. You would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass. And there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak? 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.

[bizel]

i'm with you b-cd,when dating before hubby, i never thought about people in terms of sex, or what they looked like naked, or anything like that. i need to know what the person is like first, their character, their beliefs, their standards. those, along with a physical attraction (that i can't really put into words), are what lures me. when those things are compatible, then i will test the water a little more intimately. sex is usually the last on the list. i never thought i was a sexual being until hubby. but i won't lower my standards. the person on a whole is more important and interesting than sex. sex is hot and special with someone who meets my standards. personal ads always feel, to me, like a pick-up line telling you what you want to hear, not what is.

[Annika L]

What I hear you saying is that you're bi, but more than just bi, and you're not attracted to personal ads that have just pictures and bragging about size matters, even if you might get titillated by some of the pictures.

Ok, I'm with you. We're all (meaning most of us) more than just our sexuality. I'm certainly bi but defined by far more than my sexuality. And yes, I enjoy certain pictures, but have little to no attraction to the ads that have nothing (or little) more than just pictures and advertisement of statistics.

But you say this is one of the things that "keeps you from experimenting?" Hmmm. I guess I have to question that. There are plenty of people here who have "real" profiles as well, that tell you quite a bit about them as individuals. If I was single and/or looking, there are plenty of "deep" ads here that I'm attracted to and would look into, as well as people with little or no profile information, whom I've gotten to know and love. There's also a real world full of individuals and experiences waiting to be tapped.

So while I get your statement about who you are and what you don't like in an ad, I don't understand how not being attracted to certain ads has kept you from experimenting. It seems to me that your first sentence sums up the real issue: you're curious, but spooked at times.

So my advice is to keep poking at why you're spooked, and don't settle for easy answers like "I don't like certain ads that I feel I'm supposed to like." Keep scratching at what you *do* like and what you want. *hugs*

[lokione]

I too fall in the "want to experiment" category. However I'm very cautious, maybe even overly so. While I love looking at cocks, I need to see the entire person.

What surprises me most is guys that "refuse" to answer the most mundane questions I ask of them. This leads me to believe that they are here for one reason only, TO GET LAID, and they have ZERO desire to know those they want to bang. Which quite honesty gives me the RUN AWAY feeling down my spine. Usually when they've not answered my questions, they simply say "are you free today". My response is resounding silence.

I asked my wife how on Earth she felt when she was "dating" guys. There seems to be a lot of the creepy factor out there.

[DuckiesDarling]

I have to agree with Annika on this one but in the end you are the only one who knows if you can or can not do something.

For me I like to read profiles that have some personality in them, the profiles where it's nothing but pics of naked body parts and measurements and a phone number do not draw me. The profiles that you can tell people spent a wee bit of time on can give you a bit more information into a person rather than just what you see posted in a forum or captioned on a pic.

[lokione]

BTW if you insist on showing your big hard cock shot, please clean and trim your finger nails. Nothing worse than seeing nasty dirty fingers wrapped around a cock. LMAO

[Dead Account]

I think Lokione spelled out what I was thinking. I don't want to make a commitment to a scary experience and have it turn into a regret. It could be the best thing that ever happened, or the worst. I can easily
Imagine the worst. When all I see in ads is a short sentence or two and them 7 pictured of dicks, well, I pretty much have it figured what they're after, and what they are all about. That's all I'm saying.

[tenni]

I'm not sure that you really know what you want based upon what you posted here and what your profile states about you.

It seems that you want to explore your bisexuality but want some form of a relationship with another guy? You want something that may become on going but you are not sure if you will enjoy a sexual relationship with another man.

You may be asking for a lot and offering little in return? If I were you, I would change my profile somewhat. Emphasize what you want clearer. It seems that you want to know the person. In what way? Are you looking for a social friendship with possible sex or a one night stand to see if you will enjoy same sex activity? Are you looking to explore with another guy who has no experience as well?...an experienced guy who can guide you to enjoy same sex activity? Maybe, you are hoping for an intimate friendship? Would it be with another married guy or does that matter?

Try to find someone with similar interests socially as you if you are wanting to get to know the person and not just the dick. Chat with them on line and sense their sexual urgency. Make sure that they know that you want to meet at least once without sex. If their on line conversation is dickcentric (I want to blow you etc.), then judge them as you will. Know that they want primarily sex. (What do you primarily want at this point?)

[DuckiesDarling]

BTW if you insist on showing your big hard cock shot, please clean and trim your finger nails. Nothing worse than seeing nasty dirty fingers wrapped around a cock. LMAO

This..yep just bites tongue and doesn't say more.

[Dead Account]

I'm not sure that you really know what you want based upon what you posted here and what your profile states about you.

It seems that you want to explore your bisexuality but want some form of a relationship with another guy? You want something that may become on going but you are not sure if you will enjoy a sexual relationship with another man.

You may be asking for a lot and offering little in return? If I were you, I would change my profile somewhat. Emphasize what you want clearer. It seems that you want to know the person. In what way? Are you looking for a social friendship with possible sex or a one night stand to see if you will enjoy same sex activity? Are you looking to explore with another guy who has no experience as well?...an experienced guy who can guide you to enjoy same sex activity? Maybe, you are hoping for an intimate friendship? Would it be with another married guy or does that matter?

Try to find someone with similar interests socially as you if you are wanting to get to know the person and not just the dick. Chat with them on line and sense their sexual urgency. Make sure that they know that you want to meet at least once without sex. Otherwise a lot of guys will let the little head lead the way.

Good advice. No, im not looking to "hit the hay", its a trust thing.

[Paul B.]

Thanks for this thread! I've expressed a similar sentiment in my thread of 11-28, Relationships vs. Sexual Encounters. I have gone back & forth with my profile, i.e. from this is who I am as a person to this is who I am sexually. From no pictures to x-rated pics. From "normal" to slutty. As another member in this thread had indicated, I've been frustrated by people I've been in communication with through this site by their inability to be self-revealing, very communicative or honest. It's felt predatory at times. I guess I don't have any answers, other than to stay safe, & follow the dictates of your heart. I also believe that the democratic nature of this site is one of it's strong points & from that perspective, I wouldn't change it!

[Long Duck Dong]

I've been here for a bit, still curious, but spooked at times. One of the things that keeps me from experimenting is that yes, I am a sexual
person, but no, I don't throw it around. Why you may ask? As people, we are far more than that. Sex is only a tiny part of who I am as a person. The things I love and care about make up a lot more of who I am. Same as everyone here I bet. So when I sometimes look in the personals, I more often than not see things about size, my womans tits, pics showing nothing but dicks, it pretty much tells me what you're only here for. As someone who is curious, I get turned off, but not by the pics, it's just that's all I learn about you as a person. No deeper than that.

Thoughts?

looking at your profile, I see a man that enjoys music.... enjoys the experience of playing and creating music.....

that immediately tells me, that you do not just hear the music, you feel it, you breath it, you live it...... and that tells me about how you see your first contacts with people......

you are a person that will see a profile and think I am interested in knowing more about this person... and meeting the person, it becomes like the music you enjoy..... the way you talk and share with the person, becomes like a jam session and that helps shape the experience, and tells you about the person as you * feel * them like you * feel * the music.....

use that to your advantage.... you know the heavy metalists , the blues , the easy listening, the rapper etc......and you know what people are playing your type of music..... cos the ones that are not your type, are not playing your sort of music, or they are playing it out of tune and timing

[mikey3000]

The guys that just show dick pics and talk just about their 8" always turn me off. I couldn't care less about your size. For me, the biggest sex organ is between your ears. I love romance, conversation and sensuality. Technique can be taught.

[Dead Account]

The guys that just show dick pics and talk just about their 8" always turn me off. I couldn't care less about your size. For me, the biggest sex organ is between your ears. I love romance, conversation and sensuality. Technique can be taught.

Exactly. You can't always take people at face value, especially if the only face they take a pic of is their dork... :)

[mikey3000]

Especially since every guy cruisin' on the net claims to be 8" and up. Sheesh! I wonder how women have put up with us for so long.:bigrin:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

When I see a pic of just a cock I automatically think "Oh great. Just another prick"
I love to see how a person's mind is as well as desires. I judge what a person is like thru their personality, not if they have a nice cock or a pretty pussy. I like the see the intelligence in a person first, and the personality is a Must. I cant see that from a cock shot. Call me picky, but there it is...
And Doggie? I'd help you play your instrument anyday, Darlin...*Evil grin*:bigrin:
Bad Cat

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Dayum, Blue. I'm going to have to go back and read Hamlet now! lol Somehow I missed this the first time around..
Cat

[Dead Account]

Especially since every guy cruisin' on the net claims to be 8" and up. Sheesh! I wonder how women have put up with us for so long.:bigrin:

So true.

[Dead Account]

When I see a pic of just a cock I automatically think "Oh great. Just another prick"
I love to see how a person's mind is as well as desires. I judge what a person is like thru their personality, not if they have a nice cock or a pretty pussy. I like the see the intelligence in a person first, and the personality is a Must. I cant see that from a cock shot. Call me picky, but there it is...
And Doggie? I'd help you play your instrument anyday, Darlin...*Evil grin*:bigrin:
Bad Cat
LOL- Thanks, sweets.;)