what's the strangest thing.....

[bizel]

after seeing Joe's latest with the hu hu thing, (still laughing), i started to wonder what the strangest thing you've used, or heard of being used as a dildo? i'm so dull, it's a carrot. hub swears by small zucchini's (don't eat the salads at our place - tee hee). i bet there are some beauties out there tho.

[Hephaestion]

Anyone who serves up too many cucumber based dishes is to be viewed with suspicion.

See also:

http://regretfulmorning.com/2009/06/7-objects-in-assholes/
http://www.well.com/~cynsa/newbutt.html

There are also reports of army japes gone wrong with jam jars. Then there are the commmercial videos of a man taking 3 simultaneous fists and then an entire foot to above the ankle. Not forgetting the east European ladies who seem to be able to accomodate large traffic cones.

--------------------------------------------
After performing a series of severe physical tests "You'll do" he said and preceeded to undress with his back towards her. When he turned around to face her, there she was bent over buttocks parted and waiting.

"Don't want an arse job" he said. To which she replied

"Arse job? What are you talking about? I thought that you might want to open a bottle of beer before we started"
---------------------------------------------


All that and there's me complaining when I get a prostate examination by a doctor using a well lubricated thin finger. I know. We are just not tough enough nowadays

[Realist]

I thought I had something to contribute.

But after reading Hep's post, I've lost motivation!

GEEZ!

[TheBisexualProfessor]

I'm certainly not opposed to experimentation, but do be careful with those veggies. Small inconsistencies in the skin can cause tears or ruptures in the wall of the intestine or vagina and give you infections ... or worse! Dianna and I have a whole drawer of toys. Seems safer, but perhaps not as adventurous!:male::male::female:

[Hephaestion]

I thought I had something to contribute.

But after reading Hep's post, I've lost motivation!

GEEZ!

Go for it Realist - if only to agree or disagree or mention petunias (now that's strange).

Sorry to be so verbose - I am stuck indoors following medical assault.

[_Joe_]

after seeing Joe's latest with the hu hu thing..

I think my catchphrase is gonna have to be "I have such sights to show you"

mwhahahaha

[bizel]

HOLY COW, BATMAN! i thought it would be a laugh. and yeah, the comments were. but a traffic cone? seriously? and an entire foot and three hands you say, for a guy? (what the hell am i talking about - for ANYBODY!). i can only imagine you mean his ....... took it. really? is that physically possible? please don't answer. didn't look at the links cos i try to protect what i see in icky things cos once it's in your brain, only a whack on the back of the head can get it out. imagine being a doctor in Emergency. how would you even waddle to the hospital with all that in there? the mind boggles! i mean, how many vats of vaseline would you need? ewwwwwwww! joe, please be gentle with me and my 'hu hu' (that name still makes me chuckle).

and before you all state the obvious, be careful what you ask, cos you may not want to hear the answer, lesson learnt. but i bet when you go to a friend's place and they serve up vegies in a meal, you'll have a little chuckle or chuck-up to yourself (tee hee).

[DuckiesDarling]

I remember watching 1000 ways to die on SpikeTV. They had this one show where supposedly a woman saw a sexy guy at supermarket got horny and saw this big carrot. So she goes home and takes her vegetable peeler and fashions herself a big orange veggie dildo. While using it apparently she managed to leave some sharper areas and it cut her inside piercing her vaginal walls and she died from sepsis. Now the re-enactment might not be 100% faithful but all of the deaths on that show really happened to some Darwin Award winner somewhere.

Personally the weirdest thing I have seen that I actually think about using was on a site called www.bad-dragon.com, they have some dildos and strapons there that are based on mythological creatures. Some are downright scary, some are actually very interesting to think about using on my guy.

[Hephaestion]

Not 3 fists AND a foot. Firstly 3 fists then swapped for a foot and sniffing a bottle of something all the while.

A recurring theme in the ancient worlds of Greco-Romans was the visitation females by the Gods in disguise for naughtiness. The theme was readily transferrable to the amphtheatre of which the Flavian Amphtheatre AKA the Colloseum / Coliseum in Rome is the prime example. Unfortunate female slaves would be shown mounted by Zeus or the Roman equivalent Jupiter who took the guise of an impressive animal e.g. a stallion. 3 guesses what the outcome was for the slaves.

I keep away from a posting by one of our members to a site which showed something I could certainly NOT watch.

On to pleasurable things, smooth cucumbers, double enders, strap ons with someone who has mutual deep emotions and care is really fun. The truth is that most of us are not extreme sexual athletes. Rather it is simple sharing and trust within the bounds of normality and safety which is the buzz.

......Be mighty.
Be flighty.
Come and melt the buttons on me flameproof nightie.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to rant and rave.
Let's go,
'Cause I know
Just how I want you to behave:

Not bleakly,
Not meekly.
Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!.

Victoria Wood

[Loveinlife]

screwdriver...handle first