Very confused!?

[indianice47]

My name is India. I'm 19 and I have been struggling with my sexuality for as long as i knew what sex was. I consider myself straight but I'm sexually attracted to females. I don't know if I'm gay or straight because of this. I have a boyfriend and we are sexually active, I am sexually attracted to him too but while we have sex I often think about females. I watch lesbian porn and its the only porn that makes me have an orgasm. When I'm not in the mood for sex, I don't ever think about females, I would never be in a relationship with a girl. I'm emotionally attached to males. I'm very confused as to what to about this. Is anyone else feeling the same way, Help me please!

Thank You

[virtuebeing]

India,

Sexuality can seem like a very complex issue when you dissect the actions, events and moments of your life that spur your attractions to males and females, and then attempt to label them as lesbian, gay or bisexual.

I am a computer programmer and sometimes my tasks can seem very complex and I get over involved in finding the solution - leading to me stress-out! That's usually when a coworker reminds me of an acronym and motto we work by called, K.I.S.S. - Keep It Simple Stupid! When a friend shouts out, 'hey remember K.I.S.S.', it puts a smile on my face and reminds me to look at the situation or task from a broader perspective, and for me not to try reinventing the wheel in coming up with a solution. And more often than not, when implementing K.I.S.S., I quickly come to a very basic resolution.

I mention this to you because you can use K.I.S.S. in your situation. Just acknowledge that at sometimes in your life you find women to be attractive and sometimes you find boys attractive and leave it at that. There is no pressure on you to act on those feelings now, and, also, no need to label yourself as Str8, Bi, or Lesbian for anyones sake. You're only 19 now, and as you mature sexually, those feelings you have may or may not manifest themselves in actual life experiences. However, I encourage you to not pass up on an opportunity to explore those feelings if and when, you find yourself in a situation where you a comfortable with those around you, feel safe to pursue it, and have an overall sexual inclination towards that guy/girl or both.

You're alright India! Relax, Love and Live :)

[open2both]

It's time for EVERYBODY to stop wringing our hands over what "CATEGORY" society wants me to be JAMMED INTO so "they" can sleep better at night.
Attraction is situational and thank Gawd for that! Interracial, May/December, GSA, monog, poly, abstainers, FSA, Trans, Bi, on and on and...
Life is for the LIVING and it's MANDATORY that we hit the BUFFET, ya' know?:flag2:

[malidog]

India,

Many people don't consider sexual attraction to be binary, meaning it has to be ONLY one thing OR the other. I agree with that opinion.

As a 41 year old woman who is at ease with my desire for both men and women, I found what I'm most comfortable with by having experiences with both. Like you, I don't enjoy being in a romantic relationship with a woman, but sex and love are two completely different things right?

[latrica75]

I have never been in a bisexual relationship before because I always had a relationship with men but I would like to rey something new and I am very confused about my feelings with women:tongue:

[bizel]

hi india, how about not trying to label yourself? if it's one thing i've learnt from this site, there are sooooo many levels of attraction to either or both sexes. some like mainly men or women with a bit of the other on the side. some act on it, some don't. some like different types of porn. some get turned on by fetishes. and to take it further, what is a fetish? toe licking or through to heavy duty stuff? just accept that you are what you are. we're all different. if you can find someone who blends with your preferences in this big wide world, you're doing alright. my hubby loves me and is emotionally attached to me. he is also sexually attracted men - he's now exploring his bi side. personally, i don't find any person of either gender sexually attractive, only my hubby. but i do admire a good looking person of either sex. i get aroused looking at male gay porn as well as straight porn. so what does that make us? the answer is, who knows and who cares! we know what works and we go with it. don't over-analyse. life's too short.

[WolfKing]

I know what you mean, India, cause I'm the male equivalent. I wouldn't want to date a guy, and I wouldn't be able to form an emotional attachment with one, but I have slept with guys. I had a similar post a while back where I was saying that I wasn't sure if I was bi or not, but really, it doesn't matter. If you can accept yourself and your feelings, there's no need for a name.

[Realist]

Latrica, first of all, welcome to the site.

There are plenty of good folks, here, who have been through what you're experiencing, right now.

Although bizel's not bi, or gay, her advice is very relevant....so good advice can come from many different sources..

Some of the ladies here know exactly what you are dealing with. Read the archives, ask questions, and try to weed out the information that you can use. You may find a few antagonists here, too. Just ignore them and keep searching for answers.

Don't give up, I'm sure you will find help.

Good luck and don't give up.