Huge issue

[Anna_CA]

Hey guys well I just thought I might ask for your help because i'm sure you have been in the situation before too.
Right now I'm talking to two people.
There is this girl I really really like and I hooked up with her and another girl once and we once hooked up alone
But there is this one guy his name is Josh and hes in the Navy. He's really cute but he totally is this bad boy. He doesn't really have a good education, he used to deal with drugs and smoke weed. I propose he is clean now but it's still all a little weird.
I don't know what to do because I told Josh that I'm still talking to that girl and he said well then he wants to meet with that girl as a threesome and I was like no I don't want this.
I dont know what to do now :(

[DuckiesDarling]

I think you answered yourself already when you said "no I don't want this". Good luck.

[bicuriouscd]

Hi Anna,

I have to agree that you have a ready answered your own question.

If you don't feel comfortable with a situation then don't compromise yourself or your feelings to try to make someone else happy.

[bizel]

hi anna, it does not sound like this bloke is really into you for you. it sounds like he's a usual bloke who's into the fantasy threesome thing (with two chicks). my hubby yapped on about that too, but when i mentioned two guys, he backed off. now he thinks he's bi, that fantasy is looking good as well. anyway, i digress. it's a sign of maturity to be able to make the tough decisions and say 'no'. but i would say, if you want peace and love in your life, your girl sounds the ticket. if you want tears and confusion, introduce them.

i don't speak from experience here, but suggest before you ever consider a threesome, be very confident of the relationship you are already in. best of luck.

[open2both]

Listen to your INNER voice... IT'S ALWAYS RIGHT!

[Doggiestyle]

Well now Anna, here is a suggestion! Say he wants to do a three-some with you and your girlfriend? You could kinda look up as if thinking and say something like "hummmmmm,,,maybe, and what about us doing a threesome with another bisexual / gay guy? :rolleyes:

Almost willing to bet that he'll back down on that one, and if he's not willing to go along with your fantasies, then don't even bother with his. As a matter of fact, if he's not at the very least, very gay or bi friendly, then I would say that your in a doomed or at least strained relationship. :eek:

Dats my :2cents: worth! Your friend, :doggie:

[Realist]

Believe me, if you do something that you don't feel comfortable with, just to please him, more than likely, you will live to regret it.

If you're OK with it, that's a different subject.

Warning: If he's a "bad boy" as you say, he's gonna probably hurt you, anyway!

[bijohnmpls]

Believe me, if you do something that you don't feel comfortable with, just to please him, more than likely, you will live to regret it.

If you're OK with it, that's a different subject.

Warning: If he's a "bad boy" as you say, he's gonna probably hurt you, anyway!

I agree with the all the above answers, but it sounds like he just wants to have a 3-some, and it may jeopardize your relationship with the other women that you 'really, really like'.

[ATaurusJoker]

As others have said... You don't want to do this. After that, nothing else matters.

[Anna_CA]

Well the thing is before i met Kathleen me and Josh started having something.
We've been texting forever and then starting seeing each other and finally kissed and hooked up.
But he really messed up things when he started dating another girl..
I know that sounds all a little naiv and I admit that I probably am naiv as a little girl but he dated her for a week and then broke up with her and said that he still really really likes me he was just not sure about the whole thing between us..

When I met Kathleen I had no idea i was going to like her that much.. she is gorgeous beautiful and makes me want to spend all my time with her.
Josh said he was jealous and wouldnt want me to keep seeing her unless he would be with us because now he really wants me back.

I don't know what to decide..
I know josh is an asshole but that makes him interesting for some reason :(

[bizel]

honey, my hub was a bad boy in his youth. i wasn't with him then, thank goodness cos he was into everything- drugs, drink, fist fights at the pub etc. as tantalizing as stories of his past sounded to an innocent me, i know we wouldn't have lasted if i'd been with him then. he needed to sort himself out and grow up before i could take him seriously.

everyone says 'love' is the answer. there is soooo much more than simply loving someone. all those intense wailing songs about love are such crap in reality. anna, you deserve better. don't sell yourself short. aim higher. don't take crap. look at that fabulous woman, Pink. she kicks arse. she doesn't get walked on. find some strong woman you admire and say to yourself, what would she do? learn to live life with dignity, assertiveness, and let your true beauty shine. learn to spot the people you know deep down are bad for you and keep your distance. nothing wrong with looking, fantasizing, but move on. don't touch, he's only gonna cause you grief. he doesn't deserve your energy. these tough decisions are just part of growing up.

if you do decide to live life dangerously though, remember - everything that happens is for a reason, so learn from it so you do better next time.

[bizel]

p.s. what's your worst case scenerio? is it losing your present girlfriend? what if that were the result? can you live with that?

[Anna_CA]

I know and I think you're right.
Well I couldnt deal with losing my Kath right now.
But what if the bad boys are the resistant ones? all a big mess.
I went out with the girl last night and it was just awesome.
But I always am the dude of the relationship.
With Josh I would be the protected one.
Well but you guys are right I deserve better

[Magic Couple]

hi anna, it does not sound like this bloke is really into you for you. it sounds like he's a usual bloke who's into the fantasy threesome thing (with two chicks). my hubby yapped on about that too, but when i mentioned two guys, he backed off. now he thinks he's bi, that fantasy is looking good as well. anyway, i digress. it's a sign of maturity to be able to make the tough decisions and say 'no'. but i would say, if you want peace and love in your life, your girl sounds the ticket. if you want tears and confusion, introduce them.

i don't speak from experience here, but suggest before you ever consider a threesome, be very confident of the relationship you are already in. best of luck.

I agree 100%. If he cared about you he would be fine with you having your gf. My wife has had one or two since we got married.
i have been fine with it. I would love to have a threesome with her and another girl. But thats tough because we either find girls who are in a relationship with a guy or are not interested in thresome mostly. But I love and respect my wifes needs and desires.

[_Joe_]

If you choose to ignore your inner gut feelings, feel free to punch your guts later down the road.

[saturnmoon]

Hey guys well I just thought I might ask for your help because i'm sure you have been in the situation before too.
Right now I'm talking to two people.
There is this girl I really really like and I hooked up with her and another girl once and we once hooked up alone
But there is this one guy his name is Josh and hes in the Navy. He's really cute but he totally is this bad boy. He doesn't really have a good education, he used to deal with drugs and smoke weed. I propose he is clean now but it's still all a little weird.
I don't know what to do because I told Josh that I'm still talking to that girl and he said well then he wants to meet with that girl as a threesome and I was like no I don't want this.
I dont know what to do now :(

Run as fast as you can. An addict will alwyas be an addict, kill the snake on the head run , girl run!...stay with the GIRL

[Kiowa_Pacer]

Miss Anna;
I realize that you do not know me, but I would like to advise you to not give in to his demands. Sounds like he just wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants everything and does not seem to care about Your feelings. I know for a fact that Cat would tell you to "Kick his ass to the curb" quick-like. And it sounds as if you should, as well.
Please be safe and be happy.
Ki & Kit

[Anna_CA]

Lol I should have listened to you guys.
Josh just texted me that he met another girl and that he felt this kind of connection.
I can't believe i fell for all his lies.
I'm so stupid.

[Realist]

Anna, you're not stupid! You're a victim of manipulation and lies by a user.

Liars can make you love them because they know how to push your buttons. The say what you want and need to hear and you can't help that your heart leads you astray.

This is a learning exercise....a painful one, I know....but you've learned a lesson. Next time, you'll be more cautious and will probably know your own needs better, too.

There really is someone out there who can and will be exactly who you're looking for, if you can just hold on and don't settle for less that you want.

Get up, shake his dirt off you and don't dwell on the past. Spend time with friends, go shopping, have your nails done, and be thankful that you didn't have to wait too long before you found out he was a selfish, inconsiderate, asshole!

[bizel]

you're not stupid. clearly this 'worm' is stupid and a dickhead. and the good thing about this is, you will learn to be careful who you give your heart to, while he's still going to be stupid and a dickhead. if there's any justice in the world, he will get treated the way he treated you. and then, he'll be hurt, stupid and still a dickhead, cos i doubt he'll learn (did i mention he was stupid?).

it's happened to us all. it's all part of growing up. right now, surround yourself with the people you know care about you. as Realist said, be soooooo glad you didn't invest more time with him. imagine if you had got pregnant, or he'd given you an sexually transmitted disease. or just plain wasted a year on him to find this out. right now, you're probably more upset over the death of your dreams with him - that they didn't work out as you had hoped. you did nothing wrong apart from trust a dickhead. big hug.

[Doggiestyle]

Lol I should have listened to you guys.
Josh just texted me that he met another girl and that he felt this kind of connection.
I can't believe i fell for all his lies.

>>HEY<< ,,, It's not your fault that he's a JERK, so don't blame yourself,,,OK?


Ah yesssss, You know that life itself is an everyday learning experience. Just review what has / how it happened, and put that one into the memory banks, and file it under "experience". In other words don't dwell on it, but don't forget it either. You will be the more friendly-er and wiser too!

I am wondering what he would have said if / or after you mentioned to him something about doing a 3-some with another gay / bi, guy. I am of the opinion that he would have ran away like his head was on fire, and his ass was a catching!!! :bigrin:

Your friend, :doggie:

[Anna_CA]

true.
i can't believe he had 3 girls only in a month.
the other girls were ugly as hell though..
I'm just super hurt at this point..
and i'm mad i wish he was here and i could beat his ass off

[Besos para ella]

3 girls in a month is crazy... he doesn't deserve you :P Don't fall for the bad-boy charm! :) He will only break your heart...