question for bi guys

[bizel]

hi guys, i'm still trying to get my head around my's husband's bicuriosity. i found a site ( http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/12467-bisexual-husband-mans-opinion-please.html) and wonder if i'm being over-supportive and too understanding. on that site, bi is a fidelity issue and i think most replies seem to come from fear - i could be wrong. i love my guy and feel his pain and confusion. since i've said i'm okay with him being physical with a man, to experiment with this need, he seems to have relaxed a whole lot. what i need to know (after reading this other website) is, for a bi man, can he ignore this urge to be with a man when he's commited to a woman? if he just accepts he's bi in his mind, will his body calm down? or does he need to experience sex with a man to decide? i read some bi guys don't need to express their 'guy' side cos they are with a woman, it's just an option for them. please bi guys, honestly from the bottom of your heart, is it possible to commit totally to a woman physically, and it be just enough to know that you do like men but don't need to have them? or is it something that totally drives you insane if you don't attend to it? trying to establish if sex and commitment are the same in a relationship, or separate. thanks.

[slipnslide]

I certainly can't speak for every bi guy, but in my experience the answer is yes. I've been in long term committed heterosexual relationships and didn't need to have sex with a guy (or another woman for that matter).

I waited until I was out of the relationship to experiment with men.

[djones]

Everyone is different. You and your husband will need to come to an understanding of what he does and doesn't need in regard to his Bisexuality.

In my own experience, I was in a completely monogamous marriage for 15 years. My Bisexuality had nothing to do with the dissolution of our marriage. My desires for men went unfulfilled as did my desires for other women. I remained faithful and did not feel like I was missing out (on either men or women).

So yes, I know it is completely possible to be in a hetero relationship while still being Bisexual by nature.

I may have shared this link before, but it is a pretty decent FAQ that helps in understanding a little more about Bisexuals and that their are gradations, if you will, along the scale of Bisexuality : https://www.msu.edu/~alliance/faq/faqbisexuality.html

It is very likely that your husband can be in a committed relationship with you even though guys turn him on as well. The fact you are open with each other and you accept that part of his nature puts you both in a far better position than most married couples where one spouse is Bisexual.

Good luck, and keep us posted

[mikey3000]

For me it wasn't possible. I had to try it with another guy. I was becomming obcessed. I fessed up to my wife, and with her understanding found a guy.

Now I have my guy and my wife. Him and her get along wonderfully, we all do. My wife says that now I'm happier, I'm a better person and a better husband.

:2cents:

[bauer]

I certainly can't speak for every bi guy, but in my experience the answer is yes. I've been in long term committed heterosexual relationships and didn't need to have sex with a guy (or another woman for that matter).

I waited until I was out of the relationship to experiment with men.

I second what slipnslide wrote, I waited til I was single again to experiment with my most inner thoughts and am glad I did. I don't ever want to feel guilty.

[fredtyg]

As the above comments seem to suggest, it depends on the individual. Some guys have no problem being monogamous, others have a tough time with it. I know my desire for men became much, much stronger as I got past my 40s and I couldn't be satisfied in a monogamous relationship alone.

[jeancarleo]

i'm bi and my bf is gay. i'm in a monogamous relationship with him. i love him so i don't feel the need to be with a woman. i dunno if this would help u at all but from my point of view when u truly love someone u just want to be with that person.