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country-boy-84
Dec 6, 2010, 2:22 AM
Can you have a long term and healthy relationship, but still have the occasional m/m encounter? She is 100% open and secure with the idea. We have talked about this for awhile and are pretty sure that this is something we both want to do. We are new at this, as a couple, and are both secure with our sexuality.

DuckiesDarling
Dec 6, 2010, 3:22 AM
I think you answered your own question when you said she is open and secure in the idea. The communication is the key and it should certainly be possible to maintain a long term healthy relationship as long as you both stick to the guidelines you lay out.

Will her feelings change once an encounter takes place? Hard to predict. If it doesn't work then you will have tried. Plenty of people on here are married and have a relationship that allows for activity with a same sex partner while others have to hide who they are for fear of losing spouse, job, you name it.

Celebrate having a partner who is interested in making the relationship work and open to the idea that you have a M/M encounter from time to time.

I'm sure others can say it much more eloquently than me and have firsthand knowledge to boot. I'm straight and in love with a male who happens to be bisexual but we are monogamous so I have no experience to draw from just common sense.

Good luck.

Realist
Dec 6, 2010, 12:49 PM
This may not be exactly what you had in mind but..........

I lived with an older couple, when I was in my early 20s. I was sexually active with them both, usually while they were together........but, at times, with just one, also. They were devoid of any jealousy, but the rules were specific and understood before the relationship began. I've rarely seen a more open-minded and secure couple and if it had been possible, I would have stayed with them for the rest of my life.

Later, I lived with two ladies in an excellent symbiotic agreement. That, too, worked great.

Other attempts at poly relationships failed because of jealousy, improper planning beforehand, poor communications, or just plain incompatibility.

But, if you two can agree on your interests and desires, while not being jealous, you can accomplish wonderful things together.

Good luck!

Yoyome100
Dec 6, 2010, 1:56 PM
Can you have a long term and healthy relationship, but still have the occasional m/m encounter? She is 100% open and secure with the idea. We have talked about this for awhile and are pretty sure that this is something we both want to do. We are new at this, as a couple, and are both secure with our sexuality.

I think so as long as you both love each other and are truthful to each other. welcome to the site.