Sex-related question: I don't know why this is happening..

[Trey01]

So, I'm now in my first gay, and first serious relationship with my best friend. Romantic story aside, he's the best and there have been no problems. except one..

We are both new to being open to this side of our sexuality, well, he's gay but I'm the first man he's been with. My sexuality seems to be all over the place. It took us a little over a week to move beyond kissing. That's when I noticed my boyfriend can cum a lot easier than me.. well, I can't seem to cum AT ALL. Everything he does feels really good, and sometimes I feel like I get close, other times I lose my erection and we just stop. One time I was able to cum but it took a long time and I was in control. But, this is causing me problems because I want to cum and be a part of the experience and I know he wants me to also. I'm just not sure what the issue is.

I'm attracted to him, I even love him. And which he feels the same way about me, I'm just not sure why this is easier for him and not me.

Anyone else had this problem?

[Committed bi guy]

It sounds like your relationship is fairly new and you, most likely, just need to give it a little time. Don't worry so much. What you are experiencing is not unusual in relationships whether straight or gay and especially in relationships where two people are just learning about each other intimately. Being that this is the first relationship with another man for both of you can take a little adjusting in your head (no pun intended). Enjoy your relationship for all the good and love it brings you both and I believe the rest will follow. Live well!

[12voltman59]

Since you don't show your age on your profile----we cannot know if that has anything to do with it since sadly----sexual performance does tend to wane as we age. I know that for me----things don't always work as well or at least in the same way as they once did in my younger days.

If you are young--it could simply be a case of "you are trying too hard" to make "it work."

Assuming you are younger and everything is in good working order---I would suggest that maybe you slow your pace down----don't be so expectant that you will cum, it almost seems that when you really think hard about and concentrate about cumming--it isn't going to happen no matter what----and that you simply enjoy the experience with your partner. I bet that over time---you will find that you cum much easier.

Right now---I think you have set up some sort of mental block that keeps you from reaching release now that you are so concerned about it.

I'd say just take a deep breath---------RELAX!!! Just give it some time.
Good luck. Have fun!!!

[NjbiGuy01]

Like the above post mentioned, you don't mention your age.

I'm 52, and taking a pile of drugs after having a couple of heart/stent procedures.

I'm on blood thinners, anti-cholesterol medication, beta-blockers, aspirin, prevacid (so all the other shit doesn't burn up with my stomach).

I find I do sometimes don't always get a full erection (it comes and goes, and with no particular rhyme or reason), I sometimes will come to quick, or can't come despite lots of stimulation...it can be frustrating.

Sometimes Cialis helps, but I don't care for how my sinus' feels, or my vision is affected, or I get a headache. Sucks to get older....

Hopefully you get past this, whatever is causing it, but it might be worth talking to a doctor to see if it's health issues or a mental issue.

[Realist]

Trey,

There's a thing called "Performance Anxiety". Especially, when you really care about someone and severely want to please them.......for some reason..... your body may go against your desire. It's just nerves.

Even when I was young, I would have problems, when I seriously cared for someone. I found that when I just accepted it, discussed it with my lover and IF THEY DIDN'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF THE EVENT, things would settle down and I'd be OK.

Also, each of us have different abilities. You may have a lover who cums easily, or maybe take a long time. With time and good communication you should find a happy medium for you both. Just remember every person is not the same. Loving each other, being patient and considerate, helps loads!

Good luck and best wishes!

[mikey3000]

Are you on anti-depressants? Not being able to cum is a side effect of some anti-depressants.

[Trey01]

I'm in my 20's.

[ohbimale]

With this being your first same sex relationship, for both of you, I would be willing to bet you are having some anxiety issues. Western Society does a really good job of programming us from childhood on with a lot of things, especially when it comes to romance and sex. I would take things easy and just stop worrying about it, easier said than done many times. Give it time.

Are you on prescription drugs? As mentioned in other posts, many drugs can cause sexual performance to be an issue.

You don't mention if you have have this problem when making love with women. If you have not had this problem with women, I would focus on relaxing, enjoying the moment and reminding yourself that you love him.

You are on a special journey of the heart that you should enjoy and not stress over. I hope I have been some help.

:male::male::bipride::male::male: