Obesity and Sexual Intercourse

[jazzer]

Just recently we swung with a couple where the woman was very large. She was 48, had a lovely smile and was fun and intelligent to talk to, but she weighed I guess about 120Kg (19 stone). So when we got down to the sex bit, I found that almost all the sexual positions I can easily obtain with my wife were impossible or very difficult to achieve with her. Some were downright impossible.
I am very tall and slim with a 6" dick but mostly only achieved partial penetration. It was very frustrating for both of us. Eventuallywith her legs up and apart on the edge of the bed and me standing or partialy leaning forward supported by my arms, was the only position I could find that gave her and me any sort of satisfaction. Oral sex of course was not a problem.
I wondered if other men have experienced what I did or am I just a lousy lover??
Also it did occur to me that with our population becoming more and more obese, perhaps the situation could arise where a very obese man will find it impossible to penetrate a very obese woman thus rendering normal intercourse impossible. Oral sex eventually may be the only thing that very obese people will be able to achieve. What do you think?

[Driver 8]

That seems surprising to me ... I've known women who were well upwards of 350 pounds who had very lively sex lives, and some of them had partners who were also quite large. I'm also surprised that your playmate didn't have a repertoire of things that work for her. I'm not saying you're the problem! just that it's my impression it's not a problem for all larger women.

[BiFlBBWcouple]

:female: I am a large woman, 5'6, 280. I've been almost 360, and still had a very active sex life. I've also been with lovers who they themselves were close to 400+. It is possible, and yes, you are correct, in that some positions just don't work, but through experiementation and sometimes error, we find what does work. I'm not afraid to let my lovers know what works and what doesn't, and I'm also not afraid to let someone know what I REALLY like to have done to me. Seems that maybe she hasn't experimented enough to know what will work for her, and her partner(s).

Hopefully YOU learned something from the experience, and will carry that with you, but don't be turned off by larger women. A lot of us know how to please our partners (both men and women in my case) and enjoy what we enjoy.

Just my :2cents:
A from Florida (female half of couple)

[CountryLover]

I'm a large woman at 5'9" and 270#. There are very few positions I can't handle....but some do require a man who has a larger endowment. In that case, hands and tongues work just fine :tong:

IMHO it's more about finding what works the best and enjoying the exploration on the way.

My lover a wonderful bi guy who suffers from a pretty severe case of erectile dysfunction. It hasn't slowed us down a bit from enjoying each other. He has volunteered to go on meds and I simply said it was up to him, that he's a wonderful considerate lover and that's all that matters.

[julie]

i'm really interested to read folks views on obesity and sex....

as a relatively new fattie.. through the combination of sickness and medication (and chocolate :rolleyes: ) i have moved up the scale from 60kg to 110kg.. with so far no sign of stopping just yet. Sadly this rapid growth is limited to weight.. my height has remained a stable 168cm throughout this unfortunate 3year period...

as others have said... agility is the main physical obstacle, that added to the huge expanse of excess lard, which simply has erm restricted places to go :( .... sex as a fattie has some pretty intrusive limitations..

that said... these obstacles pale into insignificence when measured against the psychological implications of my wanting to express my sexuality through my sexual needs and desires...

...here in the UK there is an overt politically correct backlash against the promotion of thinness being desirable.. to the extremes of photographing celebrities who seem to be displaying rapid weight loss.. and ridiculing them mercilessly.. that said... these same women are also upheld and hero worshipped as style icons...

..that coupled with the vast majority of sexy clothes and lingerie being only available up to size 12/14 UK (8-10 USA).. before you are greeted with the fashionless frumpy 'plus' sized clothing which caters for women up to a UK 18/20.. if you are lucky. The covert messages seem to scream to me that thinness is indeed the only way to go....

...there is little more shaming for a women to attempt to make the best of what she's got.... only to find that the market has NOTHING to even come close to accomodating her curves.. let alone actually positively showcasing and flattering them...

...for me personally, that shame and humiliation process as an obese woman underpins my sexual expression difficulties far more than having to be a little more creative in achieving deep and exciting penetrative sex with a tender loving partner..

just my :2cents: julie :female:

[swseattlecouple]

Wow, what a shock to hear! I'm sorry that your experience was not as you would have liked but let me say that a situation such as yours wasn't the norm but the exception. As a large woman myself at 5'4" and 250lbs, I have no problem nor do I know any large women who have trouble with the vast majority of positions out there. We personally enjoy using sex swings and let me tell you big girls who may not have had an opportunity to try one - Oh, my God! :tong: I don't care if your man is only 4", he'll feel a full 10"!! As for my husband and I, if you are a large woman or couple, bring it on! ;)
Have fun and be safe all! Crissy.

[Mimi]

don't put yourself down for being a "lousy lover", jazzer. you are new to this experience, and besides, where do we ever get taught about sexual positions for heavy people??

here's a link that you might find helpful:
http://www.skinful.com/erotica/overweight1.htm

good luck!

mimi :flag1:

[csrakate]

I doubt very seriously that you are a lousy lover, jazzer. But let's try not to perpetuate the myth that people of size are not loving and lustful creatures.

I have fought weight all my life, and while I am not considered obese, I do know that when I am unhappy with my weight, my self perception hampers my sexuality and as a result, not only do I lose but my husband loses as well. I would hate to have those who are obese think they are not capable of giving or receiving good sex. It could very well be that she was merely not your cup of tea...but to put her in a class as obese and unlovable would be wrong. Imagination and ingenuity are the best sex toys available and I would encourage everyone to keep an open mind and an open heart to these folks.

Hugs,
Kate

[texasman6172003]

Hey Jazzer,Having been a person who has fought the battle of obesity all my life,it can put a damper on sexual activity at times. I agree with Kate however that it does not impair how loving a person can be. Which for me that has never been a problem.. I have been as high as 260,and it was really hard at times to enjoy varied positions. So you just have to find what works for each individual. Buy the way as a source of pride i have gone from 260 pounds early last year,down now to 210 pounds, :) . And i plan to keep it off.. Anyway my :2cents: ...

[jazzer]

Basically I think Mimi has correctly analysed my problem. At no point did I find this woman unattractive or unresponsive because of her size, I was just in very unfamiliar territory. Had I gone there armed with the information from Mimi's website, I am sure things would have worked much better.
The missionary position I achieved worked very well and I am sure many of the positions listed in Mimi's website would have too.
If I had been married to this woman I am sure I would have had the time to have developed a series of sexual positions that would have been a lot of fun and very satisfying for both of us, but it was all very new to me.
I love women (after all I am married to one) and in starting this thread I hope it hasn't been seen as a criticism of women because of their size, because at no stage has that been my intention.

[teddyboy]

[QUOTE=julie..that coupled with the vast majority of sexy clothes and lingerie being only available up to size 12/14 UK (8-10 USA).. before you are greeted with the fashionless frumpy 'plus' sized clothing which caters for women up to a UK 18/20.. if you are lucky. The covert messages seem to scream to me that thinness is indeed the only way to go....


...for me personally, that shame and humiliation process as an obese woman underpins my sexual expression difficulties far more than having to be a little more creative in achieving deep and exciting penetrative sex with a tender loving partner..

just my :2cents: julie :female:[/QUOTE]

What a bummer :( I love big women, I don't find petite women attractive at all. There is nothing more delicious than a woman with curves and curves that I can sink into, it would be difficult for me sexually if my wife suddenly lost 50 pounds. Regarding the clothes and lingerie...I buy sexy and what she thinks is beautiful lingerie and clothes all the time that are not only very classy but incredibly alluring. I hope your opinion of yourself and your size changes, there are tons of men...and women...like me that desire women of size.

If you like big women porn check out www.bbwpicpost.com

[julie]

hey teddy boy...

how lovely to hear of your gorgeous relationship with your big beautiful wife.. I too much prefer big women actually and am frustrated at my inability to extend my appreciation to my own curves :rolleyes:

and yes i agree, there are quality specialist companies that do cater for big women although, sadly at least here in the UK, this is a cost prohibitive option for many folk :(. That, coupled with the ever present body facism which reigns in the high street over here, has a huge impact on big womens self worth.. simply by appearing to refuse to acknowledge we even exist.. not dissimilar to the invisibility experienced in biphobia.. bit of a double whammy for us bisexual fatties!

and jazzer...NO offence taken at all by your comments, i for one was moved that you cared enough to post a thread exploring obesity issues and sex...

thank you :bigrin:

love juliex

[anne27]

I was born large and kept up the tradition from there. I've had a wide variety of lovers, both male and female and never had any real problems. I'm a very sexual creature and have had loving, fun, fantastically orgasmic relationships. I also tend to be more attracted to females when they have a more Rubenesque figure.

I remember reading a book showing sexual positions years ago and seeing a position they called 'wheelbarrow' and thinking to myself 'oh, please, like a real woman would be comfortable doing that!'. Hanging from the chandelier is also out for me :tong:.

I am not always comfortable having people see me naked, but then I know a lot of people, heavy or thin, who have that same discomfort.

I'm sorry for your bad experience. I hope it doesn't change your mind about playing with large women. We're as sexy and fun as can be!

[agoodbiwife]

Hi,

Well I am new here but felt this is an issue that I can add my two cents to. I am a full figured woman, size 22 American. Although I have only a moderate
amount of experiance with mutiple lovers other than my husband, the ones I have had no had an issue, or let me say it was never brought to my attention that it was an issue. I can do all that any skinny, average and slightly above average weight woman can do. Ok, squatting above my hubby is a bit tiring as he can go and go for hours. I do take notice and shall comment on the fact that Jazzers woman was fun and intelligent inspite of the fact that she was chubby.

Teddy, I would love to meet a man like you. Your wife is so lucky.

Franny

[bigregory]

I sure hope size does not matter,Cuz next thing you know it will be wrong to sleep with the same sex(and that would be sad)
Fat bottom girls you make the rocking world go round......!!! :wiggle2:

[OralBradley]

"Just recently we swung with a couple where the woman was very large. She was 48, had a lovely smile and was fun and intelligent to talk to, but she weighed I guess about 120Kg (19 stone). So when we got down to the sex bit, I found that almost all the sexual positions I can easily obtain with my wife were impossible or very difficult to achieve with her. Some were downright impossible."

While I certainly have preferences (that vary from time to time) I find that attitude is a most important part of attractiveness. An Adonis or Venus will be ugly if they are so self-centered that they cannot see and take an interest in others. At 14+ stone, I can't really complain about size, and there is a difference between being large and being obese. An otherwise tiny person can be obese.