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tenni
Oct 7, 2010, 7:38 AM
Wine Etiquette

I just read an interesting article on wine etiquete. Bringing a bottle of wine when you are invited to dinner at someone's house is a fairly common way to act. Here are some questions about what/how to act about the wine.

1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it?

2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it?

3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine?

4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine?

5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner?

I have the answers according to a wine expert but let's see what you think.

Realist
Oct 7, 2010, 8:50 AM
This is interesting!

Here's my thoughts:

1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it?

A. It's a gift, it is up to the host to serve it, or save it.

2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it?

A. If I didn't care for it, but it wasn't HORRIBLE, I'd probably drink it, but refuse a refill. If I hated it, and if asked, I'd say, as politely as I could, that I didn't care for it. If I was still married to my ex, I'd let her have it...she'd drink anything!

3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine?

A. It depends on the host. If the person was a true friend and I understood his/her tastes, I would buy something I knew was preferred. If I didn't know the person well and did not know their tastes, I'd bring something I liked, regardless of the price.

4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine?

A. If a bottle was left on within reach, I would refill my own glass. If not, I'd occupy myself and expect to be served.

5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner?

A. I'm not a big drinker; two glasses is usually all I'd care for......but, if I did tend to drink more I don't think it'd be a bad thing to bring more than one bottle.

Long Duck Dong
Oct 7, 2010, 9:02 AM
I am not a wine drinker so i have no idea but.....

1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it?
no, its a gift, unless you brought it to a dinner and it was understood it was to compliment the meal as a mutual understanding

2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it?
yes, but how you comment is the key....

3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine?
no, cos a $15 bottle of wine can be better than a $50 bottle of wine.... the taste is not decided by price but by palate

4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine?
I would politely ask if there was more of that wine as it was a nice drink

5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner?
mmm depends on the company and the host.... and how much of a ass you wanna make of your self

Canticle
Oct 7, 2010, 3:18 PM
Well. I have to answer this one, as a person who does not touch any alcohol and I strictly adhere to that abstaining. Like LDD I have never been a wine drinker and certainly not spirits and most wine I have tasted I haven't liked. I'd take a bottle of something with me if dining with friends, but it wouldn't be alcohol based. Maybe an Elderflower Presse, which is light and refreshing, or one of the many alcohol free, fruit 'wines,' which can replace ordinary wine and the alcohol content not be missed.

Sooo.....


1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it?

This depends. If you take a bottle of something with the hope it will be drunk by all, then you will say so, upon arrival. Or it may be a special gift, to say thank you. Something for the host/s to enjoy, at a later date.

2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it?

Yes, but politely. We all like different things. Some people don't like bananas, a thing I cannot understand, but I don't like citrus fruits much. I wouldn't expect a person to eat a banana, if it made them feel sick, or they didn't like the taste. Same goes for wine. So it's not impolite to comment, that one does not like a wine, as long as this is done politely.

3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine?

Well, they would get what I could afford. For a dinner party, i'd take something alcohol free, but if I was buying a friend a special birthday or anniversary present and I knew that they enjoyed a particular wine, then Yes, I would splash out. Yet, as LDD says, it's for the palate to decide....some cheaper wine is nicer than outlandishly expensive stuff...and I have heard wine experts comment upon that, many times.

Personally, I can think of better things to spend one's money upon, than expensive bottles of wine, spirits or even beers and ales.

4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine?

At a dinner party. I'd wait to be asked, unless the host had said to the guests ''Top your glasses up whenever you want,'' and then left the bottle upon the table. At a restaurant....guess that depends upon the establishment. At a special function, or reception...I would expect the glass to be refilled for me, by attentive and well trained waiting on staff.

5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner?

Why not? Although I see no sense in drinking so much, that one gets drunk. I've never found it a pleasant experience. Sharing the wine between quite a few people is very different, of course and there is nothing wrong with feeling a little ''merry,'' now and again. I'm sure that I could help anyone get through two bottles of alcohol free Elderflower Presse.

Other than the above answers, I would say, that the most important thing, is to enjoy the evening, whether or not alcohol is consumed. If I go out to dinner, I always have mineral water, and a mug of coffee, to me, is much more of a real drink, than one with alcohol.

When I see the number of bottles my neighbours put out, for collection for recycling, by the local Council and on a regular basis, I do wonder if the money could not have been spent on more useful things. However, many people, especially in a rural community will do a lot of entertaining, so maybe this is an explanation for the many bottles.

Come to think of it, my next door neighbours used to put lots of empty bottles out. Three children on, this seems to have dwindled, to virtually nothing at all. Finances and priorities, maybe?

The old adage ''Everything in moderation,'' is so very true and sensible.

dafydd
Oct 7, 2010, 4:09 PM
I was always taught to bring flowers because bringing wine might put them under pressure to drink something they don't like.

Canticle
Oct 7, 2010, 4:58 PM
I was always taught to bring flowers because bringing wine might put them under pressure to drink something they don't like.

Good point to bring up, Dafydd, even if the topic is about wine etiquette. It was the ''done thing,'' to take the hostess (or even the host), flowers. I know that when visiting mothers, whether eating in, or dining out, we always took flowers. Maybe it is a case of taking a bottle and a bunch. just a way of showing appreciation, for a pleasant day, or evening.

darkeyes
Oct 7, 2010, 5:27 PM
The old adage ''Everything in moderation,'' is so very true and sensible.

And boring as f*** Canticle darlin'.. hee hee

Annika L
Oct 7, 2010, 5:35 PM
Here is what Annika's Etiquette Grimoire says on this topic. I'm dying to hear what the lesser experts who wrote tenni's article have to say. :tong:

1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it?

No. It's a gift, not a contribution to dinner.

2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it?

Depends on how well you know the host. Generally, I would say no...just don't drink much of it (duh). But if you know the host well, and expect to have more dinners/wine at their place, it's probably best to let them know that this isn't your thing.

3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine?

Egad, no, you're not compelled to spend $50 on a bottle of wine! Even if you did, if your friend is that picky, chances are you'll blow a bunch of money on a wine they still think is crap. But neither should you take a $15 bottle of wine that they'll almost certainly not appreciate. Instead, spend those $15 on a nice flower arrangement as a gift (or perhaps a box of chocolates...mmmm).

4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine?

This one is highly contextual. If this is formal and anything rides on it (like at your boss's house), no...just no. Otherwise, I'd go with context: if the host has been pouring the wine all along (i.e., refilled your glass at least once), I'd let them continue to do that, even if I have to wait a bit (if I'm really thirsty, I may ask for a glass of water). If you are good friends with the host, and you know there's a help-yourself culture, and the bottle is there on the table, then sure, go for it.

5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner?

In most cases, I'd say no...bring one bottle and moderate your drinking. Remember from #1 that this is a gift, not your personal supply. You're lucky if they're prepared to share it at all. But again, if the host is a good friend and you know people will be into drinking quite a bit, fly whatever flies.

tenni
Oct 7, 2010, 5:56 PM
"Here is what Annika's Etiquette Grimoire says on this topic. I'm dying to hear what the lesser experts who wrote tenni's article have to say."

ha,...ha...ha :bigrin:

I'm going to wait at least 24 hours to get the various views.

Here is another one though that I didn't include originally. BONUS POINT QUESTION :)

6/ How do you let your host know that the wine that you brought is really fine, high quality, classy, etc. and most particularly an expensive wine? (without appearing as a bragard :eek:

darkeyes
Oct 7, 2010, 6:42 PM
1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it?

Nope.. but expect ther 2 b summat 2 help the digestion.. ne dinna parties involvin me m8s ther is ALWAYS lots 2 help the digestion...as well as help us cease sobriety an start the gigglin...

2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it?

Yes.. def... but dependin on who is hostin the dinna party jus how blatantly or othawise..

3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine?

Price of the plonk dusn matta...its how gud it is.. an ne host who expects 35+ quid a bottle wudn get 2 many visits from me or many peeps me knos.

4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine?

At me m8s 2 bloody rite me wud reach ova an pour mesel sum.. at ne 1 elses..wud ask..politely...

5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner?

2 me m8s..always moren 1.. otha peeps... 1 is enuff.. more is considered vulgar...

Canticle
Oct 7, 2010, 7:03 PM
And boring as f*** Canticle darlin'.. hee hee

Fran, dearest....one can never have too many bananas.....:bigrin: Oh, you meant plonk......nah...some people end up drinking so much it ruins their life. Now me.....with my epilepsy medication.....two glasses of anything and I'm .....well......not safe to allow out on my own...lol :bigrin: No, just not sensible with strong medication......but I never get a hangover!!!

Canticle
Oct 7, 2010, 7:07 PM
"Here is what Annika's Etiquette Grimoire says on this topic. I'm dying to hear what the lesser experts who wrote tenni's article have to say."

ha,...ha...ha :bigrin:

I'm going to wait at least 24 hours to get the various views.

Here is another one though that I didn't include originally. BONUS POINT QUESTION :)

6/ How do you let your host know that the wine that you brought is really fine, high quality, classy, etc. and most particularly an expensive wine? (without appearing as a bragard :eek:



Oh, one just wouldn't....one just wouldn't.....unless it was ''he who snores' '' cousin...who is the most obnoxious creature and goes on about wine. Hmm....guess the pomposity runs in their family...:bigrin:

DuckiesDarling
Oct 7, 2010, 7:24 PM
1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it? No it is a gift and the host might be serving something that doesn't go with that particular wine

2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it? Depends on how well you know the host I would think. I definitely do not drink merlot so I wouldn't try that for even my best friend

3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine? You might, but you shouldn't.

4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine? No, just get their attention

5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner? Two


I drink wine but I only really drink it at home so the above are all complete guesses.

Northerner
Oct 7, 2010, 10:01 PM
1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it?

I agree with the others: No. However, as a host, I usually try to serve any wine brought by a guest if it suits the food or occasion, especially if it is unlike the wines I am serving: I know a couple who like wines that are sweeter than any I would buy and they invariably bring something they like, so I make a point of opening theirs along with my wines.


2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it?

Not unless they ask for my opinion, otherwise I just never seem to finish the first glass. Only a really good friend would get a "brutally honest" evaluation. Usually if asked I would simply say that it wasn't really to my taste.


3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine?

I would try to find something unique or interesting in my price range, or bring something other than wine.


4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine?

It depends totally on the setting. Usually you can take the lead of others at the table. If it's formal and we are being served I will either ask for some, or do without. At most social gatherings I attend the problem is being offered too much wine, not too little :-)


5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner?

Only if they have already offered a bed for the night so I don't have to drive.


6/ How do you let your host know that the wine that you brought is really fine, high quality, classy, etc. and most particularly an expensive wine? (without appearing as a bragard

Usually I wouldn't. At most, if I have not tried it yet I might comment that I have heard that it is good and wanted to try it.

AidanS57
Oct 8, 2010, 4:45 AM
I don't drink wine at all so I have no idea how to answer. Give me a nice bottle of whiskey or an ice cold beer and I'm happy.

dafydd
Oct 8, 2010, 6:43 PM
The only is don't thrust the bottle in the host's face as soon as they open the door. I see this all the time on Come Dine With Me, and it drives me nuts. Yes we know you've bought a gift, but it's not an entry pass to the evening.

Also I remember seeing on an episode of Northern Exposure (love that show), that in Native American Indian culture it's considered the height of rudeness to bring any gift to a party or dinner as it is the host's responsibility to provide for all. ..or is that just folklore.

d

innaminka
Oct 8, 2010, 7:18 PM
Wine Etiquette

I just read an interesting article on wine etiquete. Bringing a bottle of wine when you are invited to dinner at someone's house is a fairly common way to act. Here are some questions about what/how to act about the wine.

1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it?

Not really, but I believe it would a bad host who wouldn't open it unless it is obviously a gift.

2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it?

"manners maketh the man" You wouldn't saty the food you are being served is crap, neither should you comment on the offered wine.

3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine?

Absolutely not. It boils down to how ell do you know your host. If well, you know the answer, if not, either bring something else or if wine was expected, bring something respectable in your price range. If the host "sneers," then who's the dickhead?"

4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine?

yes, unless either the Queen or POTUS is in attendance.

5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner?

Drunks spoil dinner parties. Know your limit and have one less than that!

I have the answers according to a wine expert but let's see what you think.

I like wine, but always drink in moderation.

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Oct 8, 2010, 10:51 PM
Also I remember seeing on an episode of Northern Exposure (love that show), that in Native American Indian culture it's considered the height of rudeness to bring any gift to a party or dinner as it is the host's responsibility to provide for all. ..or is that just folklore.

Dont know where they got that little bit of Hollywood from, but I can say that they are Wrong...lol. At least in the Cherokee culture it isn't. They used to frown on wines or 'spirits' being brought to a dinner, but not food to share (hence the whole Pot Luck thing) or gifts for the host. :}
Cat

bisexual Bill
Oct 9, 2010, 4:04 PM
1/ If you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, should you expect the host to serve it?
-No because they may already have wine opened and may have planned to serve only this wine and have the wine go with their meal or other food at the party.

However if you want to drink this wine and brought it for everyone there's nothing wrong with before dinner setting it out in an area where beverages are, and not caring if someone opens it and drinks it or does not.

2/ If your host serves you a wine that you are not fond of, should you comment on it?
-It depends on how well you know the host. Or if they offer to pour you a glass of wine that you know you do not like.

I do not like white wines at all so if someone was pouring me some white wine I'd say no thanks and say how I don't like how white wine tastes and I'd ask if they had other types of wine. Or I'd just say no thanks and just drink water.

3/ If your host is a connoisseur of wine and you have been told that the host doesn't drink wine that costs less than $50 per bottle, should you feel compelled to spend at least $50 or your usual $15 as a maximum for a bottle of wine?
-Again I'd think that it depends on how well you know the host. If they are a good friend or a boss at work who I like and really like wine and this is for a Christmas or holiday gift I would try to find out which types/brands of wine they enjoy and get them but I don't know if I'd pay $50 for them.

If it's some random party and I do not know the host or anyone else that well at all except for maybe a few people I'd bring the cheaper wine for everyone to share.

I've had wine that cost $8 for a bottle that was better than $50 wine.

It's all subjective to the person who is tasting it. I wrote about not enjoying white wines at all but I have friends that really like them.

I've had expensive alcoholic beverages before and it was fun as a novelty but I usually stick to regular types and brands of alcohol that are not so expensive.

4/ Your glass has been empty for fifteen minutes and your host has not refilled your glass, should you reach over and pour yourself another glass of wine?
-It depends on where you are at. If you're just milling about and not at a dinner table it would be perfectly fine to pour yourself another glass of wine.

If you are at a dinner table or meal setting I would politely ask the host to refill my glass.

5/ If you love your wine and enjoy drinking quite a bit of wine, should you bring one or two bottles for dinner?
-What's defined as "quite a bit of wine"? What size are the bottles? I'd bring two just to be on the safe side.

Annika L
Oct 9, 2010, 10:50 PM
BONUS POINT QUESTION :)

6/ How do you let your host know that the wine that you brought is really fine, high quality, classy, etc. and most particularly an expensive wine? (without appearing as a bragard :eek:


I find Vulcan mind-melding to be particularly effective.

But enough about me. You let your host know that your wine is really fine, high-quality by letting them drink it and say to you, "What hey! This is some really fine, high-quality, awesome stuff you brought tonight! I worship the stores you shop in and will invite you to many more dinner parties from this point on!"

How do you let them know it was expensive? Sheesh, if you have such status needs, perhaps you should just turn down dinner invitations, on the grounds that nobody could possibly satisfy you. That, or you could always try the mind meld thing....:tong:

magari
Oct 10, 2010, 6:23 AM
I've read enough answers here to satisfy me, so I wont add any more,,,

BUT....I thought I'd share that in Italy it's considered very bad luck to pour wine from a bottle with the palm up. And they are very visible and vocal about expressing themselves if that happens....

Maybe someone should start a thread about superstitions!

darkeyes
Oct 10, 2010, 6:49 AM
I find Vulcan mind-melding to be particularly effective.

But enough about me. You let your host know that your wine is really fine, high-quality by letting them drink it and say to you, "What hey! This is some really fine, high-quality, awesome stuff you brought tonight! I worship the stores you shop in and will invite you to many more dinner parties from this point on!"

How do you let them know it was expensive? Sheesh, if you have such status needs, perhaps you should just turn down dinner invitations, on the grounds that nobody could possibly satisfy you. That, or you could always try the mind meld thing....:tong:

Me ex hubbie, luffly tho the daft bugger is, is a bloody snob 'bout plonk... 'e didn like me callin it plonk for a start.. wos fun at dinna parties lookin at 'is lil face lose its cola wen me asked peeps if they wonted sum "plonk"! An is mum is even worse.. she a snob bout everythin..spesh bout me...an she 1ce went on a 5 min tirade bout "plonk bein the cheap stuff you get out of Tesco or ASDA(Walmart) in bottles wiv flat bottoms and tasting like sewage". Me sat ver quiet throughout 'er lil speech an then turned 2 me hubbie's uncle an sed "Another glass of plonk Gareth?" 'Er face wos a picture... Nunc Gareth broke out inta hysterics.. wich didn go down ver well! He an me wer m8s!!!

But Fran digresses a bit... wudn dream eva of lettin peeps know wetha wot me brot is expensive or othawise... height a bad taste.. may tell 'em wer me got it from (such as brot it back from France or from a very nice offie me knows.. or horror of horrors..Tesco (wich by the way dus sum pretty gud plonk!!).. ASDA gets nunna me money..eva... for owt!!)... an its height a bad manners for a host 2 ask how much a bottle a plonk costs ne way... at bashes wiv me m8s.. they know an don need 2 ask... cos they're not snobs an afta a few don care if they r drinkin sewage... everythin tastes luffly then..:bigrin: