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Canticle
Oct 1, 2010, 11:04 AM
We have all lost someone we know, to cancer. Be it friend, or relative, distant acquaintance, or close at hand, loved one. It doesn't really matter which part of the body is going to suffer the cancer, for if a person is lost, an empty space is left, which can never be filled.

This time last year, I was attending the funeral, of a friend's husband, only to be attending her own funeral six weeks later. He died from a massive heart attack and she, from the cancer which had returned, originally in her breast. They left an incredibly beautiful daughter, who is the same age as my own daughter, She turned 22, three days ago.

I've known a few fairly young mothers, from my village, who have died from the cancer, which began in their breast, returning to take their life. Each lady was an inspiration to others and each left young family.

I logged into Yahoo this morning and discovered this story. It's the kind of thing which brings a tear to the eye, but also a smile to the face. What a beautiful woman this lady was.

Remembering this month and every month Janet, Sandra, Maureen and many other women and men, who may suffer cancer, ultimately losing the battle.

http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/home/dying-mother-left-to-do-list-husband-sons-article-huib.html

I'm leaving the thread up, even though it seems that the Yahoo Lifestyle article has been removed from the main page. There is the 100 things to do, list to see, but the article is not there. Sorry!

Apologies to The Guardian...but...



Thu 30 Sep, 2010 06:04PM BST
A dying mother left a touching "to do list" for her husband to make sure her young sons do not miss out on the treats she had dreamed of for them and are brought up as she would have wished.

Kate Greene died of cancer aged 37, leaving Finn, four, and Reef, six, but not before she had completed her "mum's manual" containing 100 "to do" points.

Included are specific experiences she wanted the boys to enjoy such as visiting the beach she loved as a child, attending an international rugby match and going to Switzerland where her husband, St John, proposed to her. She wanted to make sure they would find a four-leaf clover, learn to play a musical instrument and grow sunflowers.

See a page from 'mum's manual'
Greene decreed that the family should have a dining table so they always eat together and stipulated that both boys should be kissed goodnight twice before going to sleep.

She outlined basic principles she wanted instilled in the boys, such as always being on time, treating girlfriends with respect and making up after a row.

And she spelled out that they should not smoke, ride motorbikes or join the armed forces.

She urged her husband to find another wife so the boys would grow up with a woman.

St John Greene intends to fulfil everything on the list and has already bought a dining table for their home in Clevedon, Somerset.

He has booked flights to Egypt and plans to take the boys to Dublin to watch Ireland play England in the Six Nations.

He said: "Losing Kate was more devastating than words can describe but by carrying out all the wishes on the list we still have an emotional tie. I've already done as much on the list as possible and we plan to do the lot."

Kate Greene had 18 months of chemotherapy after finding a lump in her left breast. Her husband said: "I think towards the end we both knew Kate's time was up. We've known each other since we were children and didn't need to say the words. We just knew.

"Then one night she became really frightened she wouldn't make it through the night, we stayed up chatting and at about 4am we drew up the wishlist of things I had to do with the boys.

"Kate would carry a pen and paper around with her to note down ideas and we would stay up talking about things we wanted the boys to do.

"Before I knew it there were over three sides of A4 filled with things on the list. I've done some of them already and every time we do one we think of her."

During her final days when she became too ill to write, she would leave phone messages, which her husband dutifully recorded.

Mr Greene said the most challenging wish would be to find another partner.

"The most difficult is, without doubt, finding someone else," he said.

"I have already found my soulmate and to be back on the market is very difficult to deal with."

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month - find out how you can help.
guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media 2010

abstruse_ric
Oct 1, 2010, 12:03 PM
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month in the US, too:

http://www.theonion.com/video/12yearold-boy-scouts-volunteer-to-give-women-breas,14276/

tenni
Oct 1, 2010, 12:38 PM
I believe that Breast Cancer month is October in Canada as well.

One of the recent new fund raising activities for Breast Cancer in my area was to have men wear red high heels and either race or do a walkathon for Breast Cancer. Sports figures and police seem to be the ones getting their pic in the newspaper. This happened in September for some unknown reason to me. Although less known, men do get breast cancer.

Canticle
Oct 1, 2010, 1:14 PM
I believe that Breast Cancer month is October in Canada as well.

One of the recent new fund raising activities for Breast Cancer in my area was to have men wear red high heels and either race or do a walkathon for Breast Cancer. Sports figures and police seem to be the ones getting their pic in the newspaper. This happened in September for some unknown reason to me. Although less known, men do get breast cancer.


Yes, tenni...similar events happen here. One is a walk (done all over the country), where people who have suffered breast cancer, plus friends and relatives, will walk for however many miles, they feel capable of finishing and getting sponsored for doing so. A few people in the village have been on this walk.

Men do, indeed, get breast cancer. Many years ago a well known BBC Sports Commentator, Dorian Williams (Horsey Sports), was disgnosed with and treated for cancer of the breast and he did often talk about it. Sadly, some years after his initial treatment, the cancer did return and he died.

As one of my friend says ''You're never told to say, that you are cured, because the cancer can return.'' Thankfully, she is still well, but she was waiting to find out if there was a genetic connection, to the many breast cancer problems in her family. If so, she was going to opt for removal of her remaining breast. A brave step to take, but also a sensible one.

darkeyes
Oct 1, 2010, 3:59 PM
As one who has been through the trauma of breast cancer and luckily, at least so far, has survived I cannot emphasise enough the necessity for every woman to regularly do their own breast checks. I always have, although nowadays my own fears and paranoias about a recurrence of what was treated very successfully returning have made me much more meticulous in checking my breasts. I rarely forget, and instead of a monthly grope searching out something that I hope isnt there, I do this on a weekly basis at the very least and a bloody sight more carefully and thoroughly than I did before I had it diagnosed.. Kate and I in fact make a game of it. Her idea not mine, and we double check by checking each other. You will understand.. this can be fun!!!

But if any woman finds something they dont recognise during a search of their own breasts, they should seek see their GP immediately. If because of age or previous condition one is on a regular breast screening programme... NEVER miss that screening. So far so good in my case. Fingers crossed I get no recurrence, for it was very, very scary before during and after surgery and treatment. It is still scary, knowing that at any time there may be something there that shouldnt.. that it may recur somewhere else in my body.. but I'd rather be scared than not around. I have so much to live for and so much I want to do. I love and am loved by many people, goodness knows why and their support and encouragement has always been a source of inspiration to me.. I want to live for them at the very least as much as for myself and my own love of life.

Tenni mentioned that breast cancer also occurs in men and it is true although much more infrequently. Every year many men die of the disease and it is as important for them to regularly check their breasts as for women. It is as important as regularly checking their testicles.. and yet I know very few men relatively speaking do either.

Breast cancer is a killer. A serious killer, but it need not be in so many cases. with prompt and proper treatment most can be treated very successfully. So to all women I say check your breasts, at least once a week and if u find the slightest lump you dont think was there before... GET IT SEEN TO!!!! If there is any change that concerns you in your breast.. a rash round the nipple, or a thckening, if the skin of the breast becomes dimpled.. anything thats isnt normal... GET IT SEEN TO.. It may save your breast.. more importantly.. it may save your life and your loved ones a great deal of pain and heartache!!!

This from McMillan Cancer Support should be invaluable.. check it out... and check our your breasts while you're at it!!!

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Breast/Symptomsdiagnosis/Symptomsofbreastcancer.aspx

Canticle
Oct 1, 2010, 5:11 PM
Very well put Fran and you are so right. I am very glad that you came through your experience, so well and I hope that your health will continue to remain excellent.