Differences between male and female bisexuals

[tenni]

I know that this is so easy to state that it is stereotyping but wtf...

Do you think that there is a difference between bisexuals based upon gender(male or female)? (other than anatomical differences of course)

They may be more gender based than being a bisexual but they still seem visible to me. I base this view on this forum only and so extrapolations to all bisexuals. That may require more research...lol

I notice the following tendencies.

1a/ Male bisexuals seem to prefer being very descriptive of sexual acts on this site
1b/ Female bisexuals are reluctant to post sexually explicit details of their same sex activity.

2a/ Female bisexuals tend not disclose their sexual indiscretions- philanderings
2b/ Male bisexuals tend to confess their sexual indiscretions on this websites


Maybe you have noticed other tendencies and differences between male and female bisexuals on this site?

[swmnkdinthervr]

I know that this is so easy to state that it is stereotyping but wtf...

Do you think that there is a difference between bisexuals based upon gender(male or female)? (other than anatomical differences of course)

They may be more gender based than being a bisexual but they still seem visible to me. I base this view on this forum only and so extrapolations to all bisexuals. That may require more research...lol

I notice the following tendencies.

1a/ Male bisexuals seem to prefer being very descriptive of sexual acts on this site
1b/ Female bisexuals are reluctant to post sexually explicit details of their same sex activity.

2a/ Female bisexuals tend not disclose their sexual indiscretions- philanderings
2b/ Male bisexuals tend to confess their sexual indiscretions on this websites


Maybe you have noticed other tendencies and differences between male and female bisexuals on this site?

Seems to parallel the vanilla world...jus' sayin'

[littlerayofsunshine]

There are differences naturally of course.

I've noticed......

Men tend to be more inclined to "philandering" that women, therefor less women will post about it.

Um.. There is less women than men on this site, by more than half. which decreases the likeliness that a woman will post at all.

For example.

At this very moment that i am writing this.. This is the community breakdown. 7 females... 6 couples and 43 men.

Women's posts will tend to fall far to the archives much faster that a male's post will, just because of the sheer number of men.

It's not sexest at all. It just is. more men then women.. more post by men.. more post by men.. more post by men who are philanderers. And less any exist of women.

[tenni]

ah..a very good observations LROS...thanks for your perspective and insight.

There was a thread started about what people enjoy about a blow job. Lots of responses from mostly men. That would support the concept of greater numbers of male members. Some women did post.

Next, a person started a thread for women and going down on women. What do the women enjoy. I don't think that there was one reply on "GOING DOWN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN". Maybe, I have jumped the starter pistol? it is not yet 24 hours. This thread is off the visible line now though. Maybe, some woman may post on it ?

There were a few other examples but I think that LROS has a strong point about the number of members who are women compared to men.

"Men tend to be more inclined to "philandering" that women, therefor less women will post about it."

Your point is well taken. I have read elsewhere that the difference between male and female "philanderers" is about 20 %. Other thoughts state that men have a tendency to disclose while women do not. Women may not even disclose their philandering to anyone while men eventually disclose to a buddy or someone or surprise their partner. Women ...not so much. So the numbers of women who disclose should be higher than it tends to be. Still, the number of members is a mighty and powerful rationale.

[littlerayofsunshine]

That would support the concept of greater numbers of male members. *snickers*

Next, a person started a thread for women and going down on women. What do the women enjoy. I don't think that there was one reply on "GOING DOWN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN". Maybe, I have jumped the starter pistol? it is not yet 24 hours. This thread is off the visible line now though. Maybe, some woman may post on it ?

There were a few other examples but I think that LROS has a strong point about the number of members who are women compared to men.

"Men tend to be more inclined to "philandering" that women, therefor less women will post about it."

Your point is well taken. I have read elsewhere that the difference between male and female "philanderers" is about 20 %. Other thoughts state that men have a tendency to disclose while women do not. Women may not even disclose their philandering to anyone while men eventually disclose to a buddy or someone or surprise their partner. Women ...not so much. So the numbers of women who disclose should be higher than it tends to be. Still, the number of members is a mighty and powerful rationale.



Tenni, What is a statistic? A group of mostly random people placed together on paper, separated into groups and subgroups based on responses and opinions and observations there of.

This site is free willing. No one is forced to join. No one is forced to participate. Random men and women from all over the world congregate on different levels here.

The statistics based on that, can be no more valid or invalid that those observed in similar situations by someone with a degree. In fact, a naturally occurring statistic would be more widely accepted as a true and unbiased occurrence then ones that are searched out and questioned.

This site is "true nature" at its best. We are "bisexuals and humans" in the wild, best not to be disturbed or disrupted in our natural habitats. I'm sure from the unlisted outsiders watching, This site promotes fear or entices.

It is what it is.


Using this site alone, not to mention google. You can see there are many sites that are male dominated, whether male oriented or not. If you enter BDSM in google, more women will be shibaried than men for the sheer enticement of men. Most sex sites will be dominated by men. Most oppression felt by men will be placed by men. It just is what it is.

You tend to be polarized women v. men. Women try to just be themselves because there are really not many places for us to go.We don't have "cruising spots" or "glory holes" or book stores.

Women's sexuality is far less understood the males. Just because scientific research is dominated by males. It just is what it is.

When POV's emulate the natural occurance of things. It just is.. what it is...

[tenni]

I've noticed a tendency for some posters to make such statements challenging statistics or research. I'm not inclined to be one though. I wonder why some posters on this site have this tendency? I'm not sure and might only speculate but I will wait to hear why LROS disputes statistics that are gathered by sociological means. To be honest, I'm not sure whether the self disclosure approach of surveying is credible but it is something more than observing this site. The statistics that I gave were gathered from farther afield than this site. They include not just bisexuals but also heterosexuals.

I would dispute that this site is "true nature" but I love your analogy.:bigrin:
I feel all naked and running wild now on this site...lol

From my personal perspective, when I read back threads from a few years ago, I find beliefs that differ from some dominating perspectives on today's threads.

Women try to be just themselves? What do you say about men then? Men are not just themselves? The fact that there are more areas where same sex male adventures happen is telling and a difference true. How is it that women are being themselves then? A bisexual woman who is being herself what does she do to get sexually involved with another woman? Would that be a difference? Men create places and seek out sexual activity more than women or do female bisexuals keep it a secret and not disclose where they meet up potential female lovers?

You refer to women's sexuality being less understood than male sexuality. That may be true and is it not more obvious for male and female bisexuals? Are you stating that male bisexuality is better understood than female bisexuality?

[littlerayofsunshine]

I tried to stay reflective to this site since your OP was mostly about this site and we all know how you hate it when someone goes OT and pulls rabbits out of their asses ;)

[swmnkdinthervr]

You refer to women's sexuality being less understood than male sexuality. That may be true and is it not more obvious for male and female bisexuals? Are you stating that male bisexuality is better understood than female bisexuality?

I'm guessing bi guys are just as transparent about their sexual needs/exploits as straight guys are...the info is therefore more readily available. Women in the vanilla world tend to use more discretion and it seems that translates to bisexuality too.

I have no idea where bi women meet/connect and unfortunately neither does my wife and since she has come to recognize her bisexual interests she has been unable to make a connection. (even talk to another bi woman) I can only surmise that bi women not only are more discreet but have less contact making them less active in their lifestyle.

[NotLostJustWandering]

As a sample, the population posting regularly here, as well as the entire site membership, is totally self-selected and therefore useless as a representation of any population other than itself.

I wonder how it happens to be that the percentage of Europeans here is almost nil. It can't just be that the site is in English; English is widely spoken all over Europe. Nearly all Germans speak it; yet I think there are fewer than 10 Germans here. And it's not that there's another site like this one in German; I scoured the Net for one and the closest I could find was bine.net, which doesn't have forums to speak of. It must say something about the ways people in the USA and the UK use the Web as opposed to the Europeans. Exactly what I don't know, but it would be one of countless factors that make this anything but a random sample.

[tenni]

Mostly valid points people

I did write in the OP

"They may be more gender based than being a bisexual but they still seem visible to me. I base this view on this forum only and so extrapolations to all bisexuals. That may require more research...lol
"

Therefore, the population is based on forum posters only.
Since it has been pointed out that this forum poster population has been drawn from a more heavily based male than female pool, I'm not sure. Any member is open to posting on the forum though. Another control is that the forum consists of site members who do chose to post on the forum. So the population of bisexuals are not necessarily representative of all bisexuals. True.

It isn't hard to determine which posters are not bisexual and their opinions are easily removed from determining which views are bisexual.

As far as the representative voices being less representative of Europeans, I have found that this is true on most sites that use English. There is always a larger number of posters who are from the USA than any other country.

[Long Duck Dong]

I have a habit of quietly watching and observing...... so this is the tread I have noticed...... its not confined to bi males and females, but to males and females regardless of sexuality

1) males tend to be more agressive and abusive in the site, than females

2) you are more likely to getting pmed in chat by males wanting sex, females generally are more polite and ask if they can pm

3) females appear to be more friend orientated and social in the site, males are more sexually oriented....

4) most times with couples, its the male that is posting the ads, and seeking the hooksups,

5) while females do philander, they are more inclined to do it, not for sexual reasons, but emotional and mental reasons .... and its more likely to be long term partners, not casual hooksups......


now despite the fact its based around a forum, it also matchs the average behievour I have observed during my time as a barman / doorman at a LGBT bar.... and 20 odd years of working with, counselling and assisting LGBT / straight people......

and 6) males are more likely to make excuses for their behivour, females are more likely to take responsibility for their behievour

[Flexuality MD]

Tenni, I created a flexuality test, and about 500 people have taken it so far, and there have been differences in the results for men vs. women. The sample is not representative of the general population or of all bisexuals (how in the world would one accurately sample bisexuals, given the problems of both defining and reaching them?) and is drawn in part from readers of this and other bisexual forums.

Anyway, here's a graph of male vs. female results so far, and there are other posts on my flexuality.info blog about male and female patterns of bisexuality, if you are interested. Just go to Flexuality.info and select "research" or "women" and "men" from the search item cloud.

http://mysextest.blogspot.com/

[tenni]

how in the world would one accurately sample bisexuals, given the problems of both defining and reaching them?

I repeat that my observations are hardly scientific and limited to the sub population of bisexuals who:
a/ joined this website
b/ decided to post on a topic in the forum

It has been a long time since I took a "Stats" course but sampling of populations is a valid part of research and I was hardly keen on the course. I did a little googling and apparently, "Stratified Sampling" is an often preferred method of sampling as it increases the validity.

If the following makes any sense to you, ok. If not, ok. Again, I find it interesting that those who chose to comment on any type of research about bisexuality there is also a sub group of posters who tend to dismiss or attempt to find fault in the research. There is a sub group of posters who tend to be very skeptical about any formal attempts to research bisexuality. Even though I disliked my required Stats course, I have just barely enough of an understanding to respect and after checking a few points determine its validity, accept the results with the understanding that further research may reinforce or add a new understanding to the topic.

"When sub-populations vary considerably, it is advantageous to sample each subpopulation (stratum) independently. Stratification is the process of grouping members of the population into relatively homogeneous subgroups before sampling. The strata should be mutually exclusive: every element in the population must be assigned to only one stratum. The strata should also be collectively exhaustive: no population element can be excluded. Then random or systematic sampling is applied within each stratum. This often improves the representativeness of the sample by reducing sampling error. It can produce a weighted mean that has less variability than the arithmetic mean of a simple random sample of the population."

1. Proportionate allocation uses a sampling fraction in each of the strata that is proportional to that of the total population. If the population consists of 60% in the male stratum and 40% in the female stratum, then the relative size of the two samples (three males, two females) should reflect this proportion.
2. Optimum allocation (or Disproportionate allocation) - Each stratum is proportionate to the standard deviation of the distribution of the variable. Larger samples are taken in the strata with the greatest variability to generate the least possible sampling variance."

[open2both]

And is ANYBODY really surprised?
Sometimes I cringe at how much $ is wasted/spent on such "important" research.
Sigh

[ejmichaels]

. . . I have noticed...... its not confined to bi males and females, but to males and females regardless of sexuality. . .

I think that's the main point, or one of them. I agree that bi men are men first. Ditto for women. What that ends up meaning in prevalence of activities, tendencies, whatever, is another matter.

[biinlou]

These are simply male female behavioral observations. Nothing to do with being a "Bi" Guy" or "Bi Lady. "


Biinlou

[danreidbarmi]

5) while females do philander, they are more inclined to do it, not for sexual reasons, but emotional and mental reasons .... and its more likely to be long term partners, not casual hooksups......

Two cents (maybe even a nickel's worth) from TN. Regardless of sexuality, men and women are simply hardwired differently. Our sexual inclinations are evolutionary hold-overs from primitive times. The male's job is to sow the seed, while the female's part is to nurture the offspring. So, men are constantly obsessed with getting their rocks off, and women are naturally inclined to seek out relationships (family).

If there is any truth to "Sex and the City" (and my wife certainly resonates with that crew - she's watched every DVD in that pink box set I bought her years ago over and over. It's like comfort food to her) the ladies do sit around and discuss the dirty details with their core friends (even same sex stuff). Younger guys get down and dirty as well, but not about homosexual encounters and more to boost their machismo and get vicarious thrills. What guy doesn't wanna believe his pals are studs?

I certainly haven't felt the need to spill the beans to my closest friends about "the incredible BJ I received last night." (Even to my gay friends.) And, as men get older, sex becomes a much smaller part of the conversation (maybe that's because we married guys get less and less of it). A couple'a neighbor pals may be having a spontaneous chat over the fence, when a scantily clad, long-legged babe jogs by... "Wouldn't cha love to get a piece'a that stuff?" one horndog might say, knowing he's forever tied to the fence. That's about as far as it goes -- until the next bachelor party, when their real animal nature is allowed to come out.

Maybe men are more comfortable than women about giving details in an anonymous, online, public forum like this. I've tried to encourage my wife to seek some solace in some of the online communities concerned folks have recommended to help her deal with her pain over my confession of infidelity. She can't fathom discussing her life and her hurt with strangers, even anonymously, even with those who've been through what she's suffering.

Anyway, bottom line, it's my opinion that the tendencies shown by this community are pretty reflective of gender and not necessarily of bisexuals specifically. Then again, how many bisexuals (besides myself, of course) do I really know?

Dan

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol Men just need a place, and feel the need to brag about it. Women dont normally feel the need to boast about sexual activities. Guess we're just wired differently than ya'll are, Tenni. :}
Cat, buckling up the sleeves.....

[Long Duck Dong]

It sounds like you do not like men in general and that includes bisexual men.

I have met and encountered lesbian, bisexual, and straight women who are the way you describe men in general and bisexual men.

Yet I do not claim that women in general or bisexual, lesbian, and even some straight women are more likely to be this way than straight, gay, and bisexual men are.

I share a house with a gay male and have done for over 10 years...... I have a gay friend that is one of my closest friends and has been for over 20 years.....

I have no issues with males, just the assholes that are of the male gender.......

and the posting / thread making ratio of the forum is a clear indication of the differences between males and females.......
in 4 years I have seen one thread by a female about infidelity....... I have seen 6 in one week by males........
but I must be anti male cos of the way people post in a forum.....

[danreidbarmi]

Maybe, since I only have a toe out of the closet, I haven't had Sodom's experience yet (or at least, recently). I do think that, for the most part, that males and females are hardwired differently, and that the tendencies demonstrated in this forum and in the real world reflect those native differences.

At this juncture, it's hard for me to imagine ever volunteering details about what I did with another man last night, especially in an all-male setting, or even describing what I'm attracted to in another man. I do remember (this was in 1976, when I was very young and very pretty), watching the Olympics in a room full of queens, and swooning publicly over Bruce Jenner's physical perfection. So I guess it's possible that I might become more uninhibited in sharing that stuff. (Now, with all of Jenner's multiple plastic surgeries, I wonder what I ever saw in the dude. He was a hunk back the day, though.)

Dan

[Realist]

Tenni, you made some valid points, I think.

The differences I've noticed between my GF and me are: While I am very focused (initially) on basically one thing, a person's figure, she has a whole spectrum of characteristics and features, she checks out.

She looks at faces, eyes, teeth, lips, hair, smile, attitude, demeanor, clothes, make-up, shoes, jewelry, purse, the way they walk.........I'm sure I'm missing something, but I do see the differences between us.

We agree about women being voluptuous, instead of slim. But where I'm often attracted to smooth, sometimes chubby, guys......she likes taller guys with swimmer's builds with a little chest hair.

After the initial visual inspection, the thing that get us both interested, is each persons' compatibility, intelligence, personality. We both have liked new people upon first sight, but have lost interest, or had it piqued, after getting to know them.