NotLostJustWandering
Sep 26, 2010, 2:05 PM
http://colorfulconservative.blogspot.com/2010/08/condoms-and-leftist-politics.html
In the above piece, which is the 2nd article most often viewed on my blog, I argue against the campaign for condoms. I am not a denialist; I know that condoms can effectively stop the spread of HIV if used correctly. But I think the safe-sex movement has made so many people experience sex as a less-than-pleasurable yet utterly available event, with the result that they either tire of sex altogether or rebel in unhealthy ways against condom use.
Well, Bobby, since you're a conservative, I guess you and I must be miles apart on some issues, but I have to stay I really appreciated this article. And I'm coming out and saying so right here, knowing full well how guilt by association works, and that I'll get blacklisted here as a genocidal barebacker, just like you. It's OK, I'm used to it. I've got the Council of American-Islamic Relations in my Facebook friends, so I must be an Islamist terrorist.
Most of all, what I like about your piece is how you talk of how sex has gotten cheapened and desecrated by the culture of casual sex. Unlike you, I do not associate this culture with political liberalism, but I can see how a political conservative might.
And I do not see how promoting barebacking can inhibit the culture of casual sex. Is the idea to raise the ante and scare everyone away from tricking? I think the very fact that there is a barebacking subculture within the gay casual sex subculture shows that people are going to do what they're going to do. Part of the mentality of seeking out shallow sexual encounters, IMO, is a degree of nihilism. With nihilism, it's only a matter of degree before death and disease cease to be issues.
You have something as important as sex, an act people have had for thousands of years. It's not an act that requires much intervention, in my opinion. It has always been a sensitive act, weighted with consequences. The consequences are partly physical (pregnancy, disease) but mostly emotional (heartbreak, shame, abandonment). The consequences are what make sex significant. Without high stakes, sex is meaningless. I know, because I've had my share of pointless, frivolous sex. You feel good for as long as it lasts, and then when it's over you wish you could get home right away and take a shower. You promise never to do it again.
What happens when all sex acts come without consequences, when their availability is infinite and their obstacles almost negligible? Well, you have a lot more of it, which is what liberals think is progress. And you have more of it, without it interrupting your life. Your sex life is easily contained so it won't interfere with your work life, your married life (if you are an adulterer), your friendships, your health, or anything.
Great couple of paragraphs. Thought I'd post them since the ADD crowd here thinks your article's too long to read in its entirety.
Sex is when you feel this intense, hot wave overcome you, and you rip off each other's clothes, and your heart is racing a mile a minute, and you feel yourself "down below" engorged and ready to explode. You do what you can to ready the other person so entering him or her won't hurt, but you can get the other person ready while still sharing caresses and tenderness.
[Embarrassed laughter] You should study a little tantra, my friend. Not like I'm a tantra master by any means, but I can assure you even a little will change your experience and perspective on what sex is all about.
So you stay inside as long as you can, until that crescendo and release. If you're like me, you stay inside for a while as your heartbeat slows and you start to breathe.
That's sex.
For a lot of people, sure. :rolleyes: But try breathing during sex, not just afterwards. Deeply, with great attention and awareness of how the air and the energy it contains goes through your body. Things will open up for you in a way that fumbling with condoms can't close.
Condoms are funny looking and awkard. Sometimes the packages don't open easily. You have to stop kissing and caressing while you fiddle with the lamp to get the light focused on your penis. Which is uncomfortable, since penises are funny looking and the last thing you want to see, just before making love, is a funny looking appendage (the point of lovemaking is to hide it, for heaven's sake.)
Lord. Have. Mercy. Are you sure you're not straight?
And then you have sex and there's a foreign object inserted into the woman you love. You don't think of yourself as a foreign object normally, but with latex smothering your penis, you are keenly aware that her orifices aren't accustomed to you being there and somewhat unhappy about your visit. What was oneness under the old routine is now foreignness and separateness amplified.
I too have always found that condoms greatly reduce the sense of intimacy in hetero coitus. You're simply not touching where you're supposed to. I've always been happy to get the point in a committed LTR where you can stop using them all the time.
Any ideology that promotes condoms without understanding that they ruin sex, is an ideology destined to make people miserable.
I think people can figure out for themselves whether rubbers ruin sex for them.
And in the end, it is a dishonest ideology. It tells young people that sex is about the mechanics of getting into a woman and getting out without being in danger. Sex is always dangerous!
Amen!
Clear up the physical part of it and you still haven't solved the problem of herpes, crabs, or heartbreak. The last of these latter three is clearly the one no scientific advances can solve.
Preach!
What if we just gave up condoms as an idea altogether? Imagine what would happen. Okay, some people would be out of work at the Trojan rubber company, but think of what the rest of us would be doing. We would be getting to know people we sleep with. We would be working to protect ourselves by building up trust, finding out if the other person is faithful, and deciding how to manage the risk of pregnancy according to the life situation we are in.
Aaaaaaand despite all precautions a lot more people would be getting STDs and abortions. On second thought, let's all not do this at once.
In the above piece, which is the 2nd article most often viewed on my blog, I argue against the campaign for condoms. I am not a denialist; I know that condoms can effectively stop the spread of HIV if used correctly. But I think the safe-sex movement has made so many people experience sex as a less-than-pleasurable yet utterly available event, with the result that they either tire of sex altogether or rebel in unhealthy ways against condom use.
Well, Bobby, since you're a conservative, I guess you and I must be miles apart on some issues, but I have to stay I really appreciated this article. And I'm coming out and saying so right here, knowing full well how guilt by association works, and that I'll get blacklisted here as a genocidal barebacker, just like you. It's OK, I'm used to it. I've got the Council of American-Islamic Relations in my Facebook friends, so I must be an Islamist terrorist.
Most of all, what I like about your piece is how you talk of how sex has gotten cheapened and desecrated by the culture of casual sex. Unlike you, I do not associate this culture with political liberalism, but I can see how a political conservative might.
And I do not see how promoting barebacking can inhibit the culture of casual sex. Is the idea to raise the ante and scare everyone away from tricking? I think the very fact that there is a barebacking subculture within the gay casual sex subculture shows that people are going to do what they're going to do. Part of the mentality of seeking out shallow sexual encounters, IMO, is a degree of nihilism. With nihilism, it's only a matter of degree before death and disease cease to be issues.
You have something as important as sex, an act people have had for thousands of years. It's not an act that requires much intervention, in my opinion. It has always been a sensitive act, weighted with consequences. The consequences are partly physical (pregnancy, disease) but mostly emotional (heartbreak, shame, abandonment). The consequences are what make sex significant. Without high stakes, sex is meaningless. I know, because I've had my share of pointless, frivolous sex. You feel good for as long as it lasts, and then when it's over you wish you could get home right away and take a shower. You promise never to do it again.
What happens when all sex acts come without consequences, when their availability is infinite and their obstacles almost negligible? Well, you have a lot more of it, which is what liberals think is progress. And you have more of it, without it interrupting your life. Your sex life is easily contained so it won't interfere with your work life, your married life (if you are an adulterer), your friendships, your health, or anything.
Great couple of paragraphs. Thought I'd post them since the ADD crowd here thinks your article's too long to read in its entirety.
Sex is when you feel this intense, hot wave overcome you, and you rip off each other's clothes, and your heart is racing a mile a minute, and you feel yourself "down below" engorged and ready to explode. You do what you can to ready the other person so entering him or her won't hurt, but you can get the other person ready while still sharing caresses and tenderness.
[Embarrassed laughter] You should study a little tantra, my friend. Not like I'm a tantra master by any means, but I can assure you even a little will change your experience and perspective on what sex is all about.
So you stay inside as long as you can, until that crescendo and release. If you're like me, you stay inside for a while as your heartbeat slows and you start to breathe.
That's sex.
For a lot of people, sure. :rolleyes: But try breathing during sex, not just afterwards. Deeply, with great attention and awareness of how the air and the energy it contains goes through your body. Things will open up for you in a way that fumbling with condoms can't close.
Condoms are funny looking and awkard. Sometimes the packages don't open easily. You have to stop kissing and caressing while you fiddle with the lamp to get the light focused on your penis. Which is uncomfortable, since penises are funny looking and the last thing you want to see, just before making love, is a funny looking appendage (the point of lovemaking is to hide it, for heaven's sake.)
Lord. Have. Mercy. Are you sure you're not straight?
And then you have sex and there's a foreign object inserted into the woman you love. You don't think of yourself as a foreign object normally, but with latex smothering your penis, you are keenly aware that her orifices aren't accustomed to you being there and somewhat unhappy about your visit. What was oneness under the old routine is now foreignness and separateness amplified.
I too have always found that condoms greatly reduce the sense of intimacy in hetero coitus. You're simply not touching where you're supposed to. I've always been happy to get the point in a committed LTR where you can stop using them all the time.
Any ideology that promotes condoms without understanding that they ruin sex, is an ideology destined to make people miserable.
I think people can figure out for themselves whether rubbers ruin sex for them.
And in the end, it is a dishonest ideology. It tells young people that sex is about the mechanics of getting into a woman and getting out without being in danger. Sex is always dangerous!
Amen!
Clear up the physical part of it and you still haven't solved the problem of herpes, crabs, or heartbreak. The last of these latter three is clearly the one no scientific advances can solve.
Preach!
What if we just gave up condoms as an idea altogether? Imagine what would happen. Okay, some people would be out of work at the Trojan rubber company, but think of what the rest of us would be doing. We would be getting to know people we sleep with. We would be working to protect ourselves by building up trust, finding out if the other person is faithful, and deciding how to manage the risk of pregnancy according to the life situation we are in.
Aaaaaaand despite all precautions a lot more people would be getting STDs and abortions. On second thought, let's all not do this at once.