What the heck are you doing here, anyway?

[Annika L]

I know the options I've put in this poll have overlap, and are far from exhaustive. But given the diversity of threads we have here, and how many complaints there are about threads or posters people don't like...I thought it would be useful for us to at least understand what it is we all would *prefer* to get out of these forums.

If you list "For some other reason" above, please tell us what you had in mind in this forum!

[tenni]

Do you mean to tell me that this is not where you get on the intercity commuter train?:bigrin:

[DuckiesDarling]

I chose the "for some other reason" because I primarily came for LDD and I stayed because of the friends I made.

[Caaveman]

I use these forums :
1)To discuss and learn about bisexuality to understand myself and others better
2)To discuss and learn about bisexuals' views on all kinds of topics, both sexual and nonsexual
3)To have fun interacting with other people...as a social outlet
4)To pass time when I'm bored
5)For several other reasons

I do not use these forums :
To get off, or become sexually stimulated
Although I do remember one time right after I joined this sight that i did get in to a private chat in a user defined room and help someone else to enjoy theirself :bigrin:

But that's just me.

I couldn't use the poll, because I couldn't check more than one.

[diB4u]

I ticked the one about social outlet, i think i origingally came here to meet others and to learn about myself in a better way. I do not come here to get my socks off!-< thats cause i take my own socks off when i go to bed LOL>


:bigrin::tongue::tong::)

[Annika L]

I use these forums :
1)To discuss and learn about bisexuality to understand myself and others better
2)To discuss and learn about bisexuals' views on all kinds of topics, both sexual and nonsexual
3)To have fun interacting with other people...as a social outlet
4)To pass time when I'm bored
5)For several other reasons

I do not use these forums :
To get off, or become sexually stimulated
Although I do remember one time right after I joined this sight that i did get in to a private chat in a user defined room and help someone else to enjoy theirself :bigrin:

But that's just me.

I couldn't use the poll, because I couldn't check more than one.

Um...I know people come here for lots of reasons...that's why I said "primarily". You can only have one primary reason (I belong to a religion that doesn't believe in the notion of "equally split" :tong:).

[Realist]

I came here as an old man of 68, after a third failed marriage.

The only relationships I'd had in years, that seemed to be mutually rewarding had been with a man about 15 years earlier.

I thought that maybe this would be a good place to meet a decent guy, who felt the same as I did about life, love and sensuality. Actually, I did meet a some great guys, who happen to live way too far away. We are still corresponding and they mean a lot to me.

Then a REAL miracle happened! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd meet a bisexual girl, who would want to be my lover, but that's exactly what happened. Since October 2008, we have been as close as any two people could be.

I didn't know it when I began, but that's the reason I joined up and I'm damned glad that I did!

[slipnslide]

I've been miserable trying to accept my bisexuality so I've been hoping to find others who can relate. For me it's about something bigger than just sex with a guy, but I can't quite figure it out yet.

[Realist]

Slip,

I've been bi all my life and I've gone through some times when it's been rough, too. Dealing with guilt, others trying to force their morals and values on me, and thinking they know best for me. I think every bisexual has their ups and downs like these. It took me years to accept myself and then figure out what I'd have to have to be in a rewarding relationship.

I say relationship, because I'm not one who has the slightest inclination for sex with strangers, or anyone I don't know well and trust. The relationship, friendship, and mutual interests, are more important than raw sex. That can come later.

[Thomas_The_Rhymer]

"To discuss and learn about bisexuality to understand myself and others better"

Since I'm new to bisexuality I was just looking for a place where I could meet other bisexuals my age and learn from the more experienced folks. This seems like as good a place as any.

[Billys_gurl]

I checked for some other reason. I came *primarily* for the top 2 reasons. I am sorry there wasn't enough overlap for me to pick only one. I have stayed for the 3rd reason. I have met some amazing people here and love the friendship and banter we have.

@Tenni the intercity commuter train meets three sites over. :bigrin:

[abstruse_ric]

I registered on this site because I wanted to learn more about other individuals' experiences and outlooks, have some fun, and cultivate some friends (perhaps with benefits!). Sort of in that order:rolleyes:

Here's my litmus test for a worthwhile site: if I showed it to my wife would it reflect badly on me? In other words, what would it say about me if I joined a site where the most active discussions swirled around how big a dump someone had that morning, or why Gestapo uniforms should never have gone out of style?

I mentioned swingersboard.com in a previous post as an example of a site that has a good forum topic structure. It even includes a subforum on bisexuality. The moderators do have the power to delete or move threads as they see fit. Peruse the site; you'll notice that virtually all the threads are on topic.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I joined because my then best friend told me of the site, but after that I stayed cuz somebuddy told me ya'll needed cookies, and a warm body to cuddle on when ya needed it..lol:bigrin:
Cat

[Long Duck Dong]

I joined cos I was losing faith in the bisexual community... and I was sick to death of the local bitching and back stabbing of the LGBT social group.....

I came to realise that there are many people in bisexual that want a listening ear and a solid shoulder..... and there are many people that will share good old home grown advice....... but its best sent by PM cos the forums are used for arguing, debating and posting on how to make ya female partner let ya sleep around lol

but then we have cat and rissa and annika and realist and allbi and 12 volt and many others that restored my belief in the LGBT community as people that we can laugh with, love, hold and cry with and respect so much....... without having to sleep with them lol

[NotLostJustWandering]

If I had to reduce my motivation to a single word it would be "community." I've come here primarily to learn about people's experiences with bisexuality and polyamory, and in the hopes of finding a man and a woman to partner up with for the long haul. The second part hasn't come through yet -- well, what can I expect, I am in Egypt and will be here another six months -- but the learning part has been a great success. Reading other people's posts here has given me so much encouragement; I feel a lot better about my life situation than I did when I first arrived in Sinai, freshly broken-hearted over another guy and despairing of ever being happy in love. I've had some great talks with other members off-line and look forward to meeting some of you when I return to the States.

I like the forum, both for the intellectual exchange and for the opportunity to get to know members for their minds, rather than the lifeless statistics and hurried, self-conscious introductions the typical dating site reduces human interaction to. I just wish there were more people participating, and that there were more Europeans here. And as a dating site, this place really sucks, mostly for lack of a good search engine.

[biblkman]

The first 4 questions for me

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Well thank you LDD. I mainly come for the People. The sex talk is great, but I mainly come to mingle and talk and to cause laughter and yes..sometimes shed a tear, and to be a shoulder (or boob) for friends who sometimes need a hug. :}
And to be the vexation of Trolls' lives..LMAO
Hugss Ya'll.
Yer Cat

[AidanS57]

I just signed up today, hoping to find a long term partner. So for now I just checked to do the social thing.

[NotLostJustWandering]

I just signed up today, hoping to find a long term partner. So for now I just checked to do the social thing.

Good luck, and welcome to the site.

And Happy World Bisexuality Day.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Hey Aiden. Welcome to the family Sweetie. You'll meet some really great people here. Pick and choose the best, toss the grumps and trolls..lol
Cat, everybodys feline

[IanBorthwick]

Since none of the answers is complete, I'll let you figure out how to categorize me:

Once I came here for answers with a loved one..we found little in the way of answers, not a huge amount of support but we stayed and found that there was at least a little to be gained from being part of a "community"

She left after people dogged her for sex and to prove herself...she was taken under someone else's wing and "Taught" what it is to be a bi-female. Her words, not mine. I created my own account and tried to dig in as and see what people thought of ME by myself, now she was no longer their target.

I found out I was a pariah, an extra in a community considered to be already damaged because I was bi and poly. This put me int he crosshairs of ANOTHER group that wanted to eviscerate me and my account was spammed with PMs and emails and...oh so much hate. When the hate started the lustful messages began and instead of being romantic or love based, I found it was only hook ups many seemed interested in rather than who I was. Disappearing for long stretches I rarely came back except to check the comics.

Now I am here mainly to try to be part of a "Bisexual" forum wanting little to nothing to do with sex at all, which was pretty much how I felt to begin with when coming here int he first place. Now however I don't think anyone could get me to lose my celibate ways. I've had enough emotional heartache and roller coaster rides, as well as losing my job because I am Bisexual that I'm just fine staying in my handmade emotional bunker for a long long time.

So I sing, I am trying to get to know good people from the forum, and in all doing my best to walk out boldly but with good sense into the world as I have suffered some pretty outrageous things here and in the world.

What am I doing here? Singing in the Rain...just Singin' and Dancin' in the rain...

[NotLostJustWandering]

Wow, Ian, you got flak for being poly? No one has bothered me about it. In fact, the overall reaction I get here is being ignored. A few couples here have expressed interest in me, and then disappeared. I've seen some anti-poly hate posts on the forum, but haven't been personally attacked for having lost faith in the mono paradigm. Some assholes have attacked me for my religion, of course; it's something I'm used to, but I was shocked to find so much bigotry and hatred here of all places. Goes to show, people tend to learn nothing from being oppressed and hated.

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences here. The atmosphere definitely could be a bit friendlier. I think that too much of the activity here is done by a small number of frustrated people (I must include myself here) who sometimes vent their frustration on other members for lack of a better outlet.

About your "handmade emotional bunker": love sure is a motherfucker, but it's useless to hide from it. Every time it crosses my path it leaves me a mess, but I'm having trouble persuading myself life is worth living without it :(. My guess is that the desire to love and be loved continues to be the main motivator in most things we do that aren't strictly survival, whether we admit it or not.

But if in fact you are happy in your celibacy, I envy you.

[Realist]

It seems that each of us have the ability to generate either friendship, or ire, from others. Even though I'm somewhat of an eccentric loner, I prefer friendship and tend to be flexible, not dogmatic about issues some feel strongly about. I'm not easily riled and usually avoid being on the receiving end of others' wrath. I may not be as emotional as others, but I do have certain things I feel strongly about and remain firm on those issues. I may, or may not respond to views opposed to my own....usually not.

If I react to disagreements, or state a personal thought, I sometimes get flack in return. For some time, I had a couple of detractors here, who jumped at any opportunity to show their disdain for my views. At first, this irritated me..........but then I realized, I am who I am and probably won't change, anyway!

So why get upset and argue with someone, who feels just as firmly that they're right and I'm wrong? So, I rarely respond to them any longer.

An old saying, that I first heard in the Army comes to mind; it was, "Fuck 'em, if they can't take a joke!"

No one can define me, but me. Just as I can't define anyone else. In our hearts we know who and what we are.

Ol' Rodney King may have had a troubled and confused soul, but he asked an immortal question: "Why can't we all just get a long?"

[12voltman59]

When I came here now nearly FIVE YEARS ago--it was because I was trying to find a bisexual site that was not all about just hooking up and such----every other live chat room that was bisexually themed--you were on ten seconds, if that, before you had someone buzzing you about at least doing some form of cyber/phone/cam sex if you were far from them and if in the same town---"why the hell aren't ya in your car right now to come over and suck my cock?"

I was looking for a place to actually talk about my feelings and such--and also--I was sort of out of commission since I was recovering from a bad bout of vertigo that basically left me unable to do too much for almost a month or so.


Since then, I have come here for just every reason on the list including the one I checked which is to see what bisexuals feel on all kinds of subjects.

I have met people from here in the real world and certainly made some very good friends even though we have never met "out there."

I have had issues at times with the site--certainly when we have had those really bad bouts of "trollitis"--thankfully that seems to be in the past, knock on cyber wood!!! LOL

I do have my times of not being on so much---mostly during the heart of the summer when I am doing my boating and such--often because you are in places that don't have things like internet connections.

This site may have its downsides when it comes to its technology-it has to be many generations behind what is the most current stuff when it comes to the structure of the software that creates it---sorta like the virtual world equivalent of this site being a 1966 Mustang compared to a 2011 model--but at least it does work, its free and mostly has some great people who frequent the site.

[_Joe_]

I...don't know anymore.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Bravo, Voltie. Very well said. And Joe, you are here cuz you loves us...lol:tong::bigrin:
Silly Cat

[void()]

Chose 'some other reason' but the first four really.